Chapter 19

The sun was streaming in the windows when the phone rang and woke Izzie up just after nine A.M. on New Year’s Day. She leapt toward it, and grabbed it, praying it was Zach and he was okay. He had probably come down from the coke by then, and was calling her to apologize. But it wasn’t him, it was the police, and her heart sank as a Lieutenant Kelley identified himself. She knew what that meant. He had been arrested the night before. It was why he hadn’t called her. Either they hadn’t let him call, or he was too embarrassed to tell her he was in jail, or too stoned.

“Is it about my husband?” She sounded breathless as she asked, and the officer was startled and didn’t answer for a minute.

“I…yes, ma’am, it is.” He was serious and subdued.

“Is he in jail?”

“No, ma’am, he’s not.” Her spirits rose for an instant as the lieutenant said it. Thank God, Zach hadn’t been arrested after all.

“Where is he?” She was smiling as she held the phone to her ear with a shaking hand. “Can I talk to him?”

“I…he had an accident on the Long Island Expressway last night, just before the exit to East Hampton. There was a lot of ice on the road.” Izzie interrupted him before he could tell her the rest. She couldn’t stand the suspense and he was speaking slowly and deliberately. She didn’t care about the weather conditions. Where was Zach?

“Is he in the hospital? Is he okay?”

“No, ma’am, he’s not.” The lieutenant hated calls like this, but they were his responsibility as the officer in charge. The highway patrol had called him, because of the address on Zach’s papers. “He was driving over a hundred miles an hour. He hit an eighteen-wheeler, went across the divider, and was killed instantly. I’m sorry.” After he had said it, Izzie sat in total silence for a minute with the phone in her hand.

“He what? Are you sure?” She sounded like she was fading away and felt like she was going to die herself. How could that happen? How could Zach be dead? Lieutenant Kelley had to be wrong. “Where is he?” Not that it mattered now. He was gone. Her husband and the father of her unborn child was dead.

“He’s at the hospital in Long Island where they took him. They’re running some substance tests on him. We need to know if he was under the influence for our report. The driver of the eighteen-wheeler was killed too, and two other vehicles were involved. We’ll be bringing him to the morgue this afternoon. You can identify the body and claim him there after six o’clock. I’m very sorry,” he said again.

“Thank you,” she said, shaking from head to foot. And she was aware that the baby had stopped moving too, as though he also knew that his father had just died. Without thinking, she dialed her mother’s number, and Kate picked up immediately. She was planning to take Frances and her mother out to lunch. She was in good spirits, and had spent a quiet night at home. Bernard had sent her a text to wish her a happy New Year, and she had ignored it. She smiled when she saw the call was from Izzie when she picked it up.

“Hi, sweetheart. Happy New Year.” She froze when she heard Izzie’s voice.

“Zach is dead. He was killed in an accident last night.” And then she started to sob hysterically and Kate couldn’t understand what she was saying.

“Are you okay? Were you with him? The baby?”

“He drove out to East Hampton alone….We had a fight….”

“It’s not your fault, Iz. Whatever happened, you didn’t do it. He was driving. You weren’t there.” Kate rushed to reassure her. Izzie was blaming herself.

“But I upset him.” Izzie sobbed pitifully into the phone.

“I’ll be there in five minutes.” Kate grabbed her coat and purse and flew out of her apartment. She gave the cabdriver a twenty-dollar bill and told him to get her to Izzie’s address as fast as he could. It wasn’t far and she had just enough time to call both her sons and tell them. She didn’t know the details, but she knew that Izzie would need their help, and she told Justin to call his grandmother and tell her Kate couldn’t take her to lunch, but not why yet. Kate wanted to know more before she told her mother.

“Do you know what happened, Mom?” Justin asked in a shocked voice.

“No, I don’t. She said they had a fight.”

“Oh God. Maybe he was drunk.”

“I’ll call you later,” she said quickly. They had just gotten to Izzie’s address, and she thanked the driver and jumped out, and pressed the intercom to Izzie’s apartment. She buzzed her mother in without asking who it was. Kate didn’t wait for the elevator but ran up the stairs and was out of breath when she rang Izzie’s doorbell and Izzie let her in. She looked ravaged and collapsed in her mother’s arms with her big belly between them, and Kate was relieved to feel the baby kick. She led Izzie to the couch, and Izzie told her a disjointed, somewhat cleaned-up version of what had happened. She left out the coke at first, and then finally admitted it to her mother. But whatever he had done, however foolish and irresponsible he had been, now he was dead. And Izzie loved him. They had been married for eight months to the day. And now she was a widow, and her son would have no father when he was born.

She cried in her mother’s arms for many hours, and Willie showed up at the apartment and brought food for them. He looked shaken to see the condition his sister was in, and he sat quietly in the living room while Kate made Izzie lie down for a while, and she cried herself to sleep, and then Kate came back to sit with her youngest son.

“What do we do now?” Willie whispered.

“She has to identify the body at the morgue after six o’clock,” Kate said in a grim voice.

“I can do that,” Willie said somberly. He had never seen a dead body before, but at least he could do it for his sister.

They talked for a while in whispers and low voices, and Justin called his mother to tell her he was on the way. He had to bring the baby because Richard was going to work the next day and they had no sitter, but Kate was grateful that he was coming and she knew that Izzie would be too. They couldn’t reach Julie because she was on a plane coming back from her honeymoon, but Justin said he’d call her that night, and he was sure she would come home. They all wanted to be there for their sister.

Izzie slept for two hours, and cried again when she woke up. They had to make arrangements for the funeral, and she wanted to call Zach’s father and let him know, although she’d never met him or spoken to him before. And his grandmother had had another stroke recently and had dementia now so she didn’t think she should call her.

Kate called the funeral home while they were waiting to go to the morgue, and they said they’d make the necessary arrangements and have somebody there to get the body. And Kate had called Liam and he was stunned and sorry for Izzie and offered to do whatever he could for them, but there was very little anyone could do, except be there for Izzie.

Izzie still couldn’t believe it had happened, and was hoping it was some kind of mistake, as she and her mother and Willie got in a cab to go to the morgue. The body had been brought to the city from Long Island. She had reached Zach’s father on his cellphone earlier. He said he was in Sydney, Australia, on a boat, and there was no way he could come to New York. He was somber and offered Izzie his condolences, but he sounded as though Zach was someone else’s son.

“I’m sorry to tell you that if your baby was already born, Zach’s portion of the trust would have gone to him. But in the case of an unborn child, his share of the trust reverts to the other beneficiaries of the trust. So there will be nothing for your baby,” he said clearly, as though that was why she had called.

“I don’t care,” Izzie said in a choked voice. “That’s not why I called. I just wanted you to know, in case you wanted to come to his funeral. But you were never there for him when he was alive, so I guess it’s not surprising you’re not coming now that he’s dead.” Zach’s father was shocked by what she’d said, more so than he had been about his son’s death.

“I’m sorry I can’t come.” He attempted to sound sincere but didn’t. Zach had been a headache to them all his life, and he was only surprised his son had lived that long. Zach was dead at thirty-six, and his wife a widow at thirty-three.

The hour they spent at the morgue was unimaginably grim. Two men from the funeral home were there to remove the body and take it to the mortuary Kate had called. Willie identified the body and said it was Zach, while Izzie sobbed in her mother’s arms and nearly fainted, as two sympathetic policemen watched. One of them discreetly told Kate that they had removed the electronic anklet, since it was no longer needed and they thought the family would want to allow the deceased to be buried with dignity, and not as a convicted felon. Kate thanked them, and they left before Zach’s body was removed, and went back to Kate’s apartment, where she tucked her daughter into her own bed. She brought her a cup of soup, which Izzie refused, and then she fell asleep, before Justin arrived with the baby at nine o’clock.

“How is she?” he asked, desperately worried about his sister. He had thought her choice of husband was a bad one, but he had never imagined it would end like this.

“About the way you’d expect,” Kate said, and went to make them all a salad and some sandwiches. And Grandma Lou had called to see if there was anything they needed, but Kate said they didn’t, so Louise left them in peace. Kate had called her earlier and told her the news. She didn’t want her to hear it from someone else.

Justin was waiting to call Julie in California. He knew their plane from Hawaii was landing at eight o’clock, and she’d be home at nine, which would be midnight in New York. They didn’t know yet when the funeral would be, but Kate assumed it would be in a few days, and Julie would want to be there for Izzie.

The honeymoon in Hawaii had been idyllic. They’d spent three days on Maui at a fun, lively hotel, and four days on Lanai at an incredibly romantic location. Peter had planned and arranged everything. They spent hours on the beach, swimming, snorkeling, and had romantic dinners every night. It was like a dream. He was the perfect husband, and they held hands all the way to L.A. on the plane. It was going to be hard going back to real life once they landed in L.A. Peter was starting his new job the next day, and he was excited and a little nervous about it.

Julie didn’t bother turning on her cellphone on the way home from the airport, and then remembered to do it when they walked into the apartment. His company had given them a furnished executive apartment to stay in until their own things arrived. Peter had already picked out a villa for them in West Hollywood, but Julie hadn’t seen it yet except online. She could hardly wait to explore their new neighborhood and home. Her furniture from New York, and his from his apartment, was due to arrive in two weeks, unless there was snow on the way. But the executive apartment was very nice.

She stuck her phone in the charger and it rang immediately when she plugged it in. It was Justin. He told her the news, and she looked shocked as Peter listened to her end of the conversation. It was obvious something terrible had happened, but he couldn’t tell to whom. Julie was pale when she hung up and turned to Peter.

“Zach was killed in a car accident last night,” she said, thinking of her sister. Justin had said she was asleep, so Julie couldn’t talk to her.

“How awful for your sister, especially with the baby.” Julie nodded, thinking how terrible that would be for her. But Julie was grateful she hadn’t been in the car with him.

“I have to go home tomorrow,” she said, looking distracted, trying to think of everything she had to do, since they had just arrived.

“This is your home now,” he said in a firm voice, sounding almost like a parent.

“I know.” She smiled at him and put her arms around him to kiss him. “But I have to go back to be with my sister.”

“No, you don’t.” He looked completely unaffected by what she’d said.

“Of course I do. We’re all very close. I can’t let her go through this without being there for her.” She couldn’t imagine not going to Izzie.

“She doesn’t need you, she has your brothers and your mother and your grandmother. That’s more than enough.” At first Julie thought he was kidding, but he wasn’t. Peter wasn’t close to his family, and he didn’t understand a family like hers, and the bond they shared. They never let each other down. Their mother had inculcated that in them, that families were forever and stuck together, no matter what.

“It’s not the same, Peter. I’m her sister. She’s pregnant and her husband just died. Of course I have to be there for her.”

“You do not. I’m your family now, and your first responsibility is to me. I’m starting a new job tomorrow, and I need you with me.” She was stunned to realize he meant it.

“I don’t want to argue with you about it,” Julie said as gently as she could, “but there’s no way I’m staying here while my sister buries her husband. You’ve had new jobs before. She’s never buried a husband.” It was crystal clear to her.

“She shouldn’t have married him anyway. He was a dirtbag, and I’m not surprised. He was probably drunk or on drugs.” Julie suspected that too, but didn’t say it.

“That doesn’t change the fact that my sister is devastated now. My brother said she’s in terrible shape.”

“She’s better off without him. I hope she loses the baby too.” Julie was horrified by what he said. It was so unlike him to be so brutal and unkind. This was not the man she knew. She didn’t pursue the point with him. She took her phone into the bathroom and booked a a nine A.M. flight. She’d have to leave the apartment at seven, and she was due to land in New York at five P.M. local time. You lost the whole day traveling east with the time difference, but it was the best she could do.

Peter didn’t speak to her again until they went to bed. They had both unpacked their clothes from their honeymoon, and Julie had packed a small bag full of warm black clothes for New York. And he turned to her as they got into bed.

“You’re not going, are you, Julie?” His voice was cold and hard.

“Yes, I am.” He had to know right from the beginning how important her family was to her. This was not negotiable for her. Or for him, apparently.

“I’ll never forgive you for this if you do,” he said in an icy tone, and tears filled her eyes as he said it.

“Peter, please be reasonable. I have to go to Zach’s funeral, for Izzie.”

“This could be a deal breaker for me,” he warned her in a menacing tone, and she slipped into bed feeling as though a stranger had come home from her honeymoon with her.

“Why are you so angry about it? I won’t stay long.”

“I don’t care how long you stay. When you walk out of here tomorrow, I’ll know where your loyalties are, and they’re not to me.”

“Of course they are. I can love my family and you,” she said gently, in a loving tone.

“No, you can’t, and you’d better understand that right now. Your loyalties have to be to me, always, at all times. I come first now.” It sounded crazy to Julie as he said it, but she didn’t argue with him. She wondered if she had tapped into some childhood issue of his. He hadn’t had a problem about her family before the wedding. This was new.

He turned his back on her in bed that night, and they had been making love day and night on their honeymoon. And he treated her like a stranger when they woke up the next morning. She put her arms around his neck and tried to kiss him, and he pushed her away and got out of bed. He didn’t speak to her again until he saw her dressed and ready to leave.

“You may find the locks changed when you get back,” he warned her, and she looked him straight in the eye.

“I love you, Peter. And I love my family. I’ll be home soon. I hope the job goes well today. I’ll call you when I get in.”

“I don’t want to hear from you until you’re back here where you belong. I’m not going to put up with this again. You’d better be damn clear about that.” He had never said anything like it to her while they were dating, or during their brief engagement. He had been loving and adorable and kind to her and her family, and now he wanted to control her and be all powerful in her life.

“This isn’t slavery,” she said in a soft voice before she left. “It’s marriage.” She wanted to add that he’d better “be damn clear about that” too, but she didn’t want to add fuel to the fire, and he looked furious with her when she left. She went outside and got into the cab she had called, and thought about him all the way to the airport. She had no idea why he was behaving so strangely, but maybe it was just as well that something like this had happened early. He needed to know that she had not traded her family for him. There was room for both in her life. And her going to New York had just proved that to him.

She felt better when she boarded the plane. He must have just had some kind of macho brat fit, maybe due to the stress of starting the new job, and she was sure he’d be fine when she got back. All she wanted now was to see her family. She had left them a week before, and who could have expected this?

When Julie landed in New York, she went straight to her mother’s apartment. She knew all of them were there. Izzie had gone home to get some clothes, but she was staying with her mother. Justin was sleeping on the couch, the baby in her travel bed, and Willie at his own place. Julie was going to camp out on the other couch. They all wanted to be together, even if it was cramped. It reminded them of their childhood.

Kate had gone to the store and brought back some things for herself and Julie to wear, and she had sent Jessica to a maternity store to buy a black dress for Izzie. There was going to be a wake the next day, and the funeral the day after. And then it would be over, and Izzie would have to live the rest of her life without him. Nobody had commented on what a mistake the marriage had been, nor would they, although it had crossed their minds. Izzie had told her mother the whole story, about his arrests, his drug use, and finding him snorting lines in the living room on New Year’s Eve and his storming out of the apartment. Kate had continued to remind her that it wasn’t her fault, but Izzie felt terrible anyway.

Justin looked relieved the minute his twin walked in. He put his arms around her and asked about the honeymoon, and she told him it had been like a dream. She didn’t tell him about Peter’s strange behavior when she left. It was so atypical for him that it really didn’t matter. She had sent him a text when she arrived, but he didn’t answer. And Grandma Lou came over with dinner from a nearby restaurant that night. She looked appropriate in somber black, and was pleased to see her other granddaughter.

The wake the following night at the funeral home was morbid. The casket was there and Izzie almost collapsed. No one came except the family, and Liam without Maureen. He stood close to Kate, and he talked to all of her children, and admired the baby Justin had brought with him to the funeral home, and then he left so as not to intrude on Izzie, who was distraught. He gave Kate a warm hug before he left and told her to call him if they needed anything.

They went out for a Chinese dinner afterward, and everyone’s mood lifted a little. Willie succeeded in teasing Izzie and making her smile, and Justin surprised them all, while Kate held the baby.

“She’s going to have a brother or sister,” Justin said in a calm, normal voice, as the others stared at him.

“Who is?” Julie asked. He couldn’t have meant they were having another baby so soon. It didn’t make sense. She thought she had misunderstood.

“Milagra. We had to make a quick decision with Alana’s cycle. She’s moving to London for a while so we wanted to seize the opportunity while we had it, since she was willing to be an egg donor again. It’s not going to be easy, but we both like the idea of having two kids close together, even though it will take some juggling to do it. So they harvested her eggs the day before I came down here. Shirley agreed to do it again too. So if it all goes well, they’ll be putting the fertilized embryos into her in a few days,” he said, looking proud and happy. “So we’re on our way again. The baby will be due in September. They’ll be thirteen months apart. I’d rather do it that way. It’s simpler to have everyone in diapers at the same time.” This time, Kate made no comment, nor did Izzie, since the surrogacy had worked well for them before, but they were startled anyway. Two babies were going to put a huge strain on him and Richard financially, which Kate thought was unwise. But it was a decision they had a right to make. They were both intelligent men, and she and Tom had had their babies very quickly too, and Grandma Lou had been just as worried about her.

“Are you going to have a lot more?” Willie asked his brother casually.

“No, this is it. We don’t want her to be an only child. Two is just right for us. Three would be too much.” Everyone nodded, as though it sounded totally reasonable, which his mother knew it wasn’t. Unless the novel he’d been working on was a major hit, they’d be very strapped for money, and already were. And he hadn’t had time to work on the book since August, when the baby was born.

“And Richard is fine with it?” Kate asked. “It’s a sacrifice for him too.” Justin nodded and Izzie asked Julie when she was going back, to change the subject.

“When you don’t need me.” She smiled at her older sister, and Izzie squeezed her hand and leaned over and kissed her gratefully.

“Thank you for coming. It means a lot.” The look in her eyes made Peter’s anger irrelevant, and Julie was sure his threats were hollow. He would get over it when she got back. And since she didn’t have a job, she could make her own decision about when to go back. She loved Peter passionately, but her family still came first.

They had made the arrangements as quickly as possible, to get the nightmare behind Izzie as soon as they could. The funeral was as horrible as everyone expected. Izzie was brave and stood strong, with her mother on one side and Justin on the other. A few people from Izzie’s law firm had seen the obituary and came out of respect for her. Zach’s father didn’t. He had said he would notify Zach’s mother, but Izzie never heard from her. Frances came with Grandma Lou, and Liam and Maureen came. Their daughters had gone back to Europe. And Richard came down from Vermont for the day. It was a small motley crew, and they drove to the cemetery in two limousines with the baby, and the burial was brief and sad. Izzie was sobbing uncontrollably as her brothers led her away, and Julie followed with Kate, after Izzie dropped a white rose on the casket. Kate thought it was the saddest thing she’d ever seen to watch her daughter mourn her husband, however unsuitable he had been, while carrying their unborn baby. They went back to Kate’s afterward, and sat around as though in a trance.

Justin left that night for the long drive back to Vermont. He didn’t want Richard to have to fly back, and it was cheaper if they drove, and Justin wanted to be with him. They both wanted to be there when the embryos were placed in Shirley’s uterus in the next two days.

Willie went home that night, and Izzie forced herself to go back to work the following Monday. She looked awful, but said she needed the distraction and had fallen behind in her work. And once Izzie went back to the office, Julie booked a flight to California. She had been in New York for exactly six days, and Izzie was grateful for it. Julie had texted Peter every day, and he had never responded. She knew he was paying her back for going against him and defying his wishes.

Her flight from New York landed in L.A. at two in the afternoon, and she took a cab back to their temporary apartment. For a minute she wondered if Peter had made good on his threats and changed the locks, but her key worked when she got there. After she unpacked, she went to a nearby market and bought what she needed to make him a nice dinner. She was wearing an apron over jeans and a sweater and cooking when he got home, and he looked surprised to see her, although she had texted him when she was arriving. He didn’t say a word to her at first and then stood stiffly in the kitchen, while she cooked a leg of lamb that smelled delicious.

“How was it?” he asked, looking stern and not remorseful.

“Very sad. It was very hard on Izzie, I’m glad I went, but I missed you.”

“Did you?” he asked as he walked toward her, and for a minute she wasn’t sure what he was going to do to her. There was a menacing look in his eyes, but she refused to be daunted.

“Yes, I did miss you.” She smiled and said as he grabbed her hard and kissed her, and then with no warning, he picked her up, carried her easily, strode into their bedroom, and dumped her on the bed.

“Take your clothes off,” he ordered her. “I want to make love to you.” She wanted to make love to him too, but his suddenly harsh, commanding style was unnerving. He’d never acted like that before and it was more caveman than romantic. She did as she was told and held her arms out to him with a smile, and with that he pushed her onto the bed, grabbed her hair and pulled her head back, and entered her with no warning, with a savage look she didn’t recognize.

“Hey, take it easy,” she said, and he looked at her fiercely.

“Don’t you ever, ever leave me like that again, when I tell you not to. Do you understand that?” She nodded as tears sprang to her eyes, and just as quickly he melted into the man she had married. He made love to her exquisitely, and held her in his arms afterward. The frightening new side of Peter had disappeared, but she had discovered a part of him she never knew.

They had a romantic dinner in the kitchen that night. He loved the leg of lamb, and they hurried to bed afterward. And this time, he was only slightly rougher than he used to be. Marriage had changed him. He owned her now.