Four Letter Word

I liked knowing something was ours.

I liked it a lot.

I also was as anxious as he was to get me into his bed.

“I’ve dreamed about it, too,” I admitted softly, watching his smile reappear.

It was beautiful and something I wanted to stare at and study for hours, but first I needed to put on pants.

I went about doing that and doing it quickly, letting Brian help me when he insisted on sliding my leggings up and over my ass, taking that hands-free moment to wipe at my face with my hoodie sleeve before slipping my bra on, Brian also helping with that, and finally, pulling my hoodie over my head.

I tugged awkwardly at the hood strings as I stepped into my flipflops.

“I wasn’t coming here to impress anyone so I just wore this,” I told Brian, feeling the need to explain my wardrobe selection. “I normally dress a little nicer.”

He finished tying his shoe, stood, and looked me over, slow and purposefully.

“You’re beautiful,” he said, green eyes sweet and filled with honesty.

I really didn’t want to, but damn it, I couldn’t help it.

Head falling into my hands, I burst into tears again.

His arms curled around me and drew me close as his lips pressed to my hair.

“Didn’t know my girl was so sensitive to compliments,” he said, laughter touching his voice.

His girl.

My chest warmed as it continued vibrating with my cries.

I took several minutes to collect myself, wrapped up in Brian’s arms while I did it.

Then I let my boy lead me back to the party.

Chapter Thirteen

BRIAN

I walked with Sydney tucked against my side down the sandy path that led to the house, my arm over her shoulder, keeping her close, and her arm around my waist, pressing closer.

Even when we took the stairs to get up to the deck, we stayed like that.

I wasn’t pulling away and neither was she. I’d waited too damn long for this moment.

Way too damn long. And I never thought I’d get it.

Knowing that, I held on tighter.

Nothing else mattered but this girl. Nothing. And I was planning on keeping her by my side for as long as I could.

I’d been close to beating the shit outta Jamie for going through with tonight, so close I had to step outside, get away from all the motherfuckers filling my house and get some air, hoping to do it alone but gaining Cole’s attention when I slipped out; and getting locked into a conversation on the beach I didn’t fucking feel like having.

I just wanted to be left alone so I caved. Figured telling him would get him off my back. Also figured I could talk about Syd, brief as fuck, then drop it. I wouldn’t think about her again the rest of the night.

I was delusional.

And she was there. Right fucking there, listening and looking at me, really looking at me, and I didn’t know what she was seeing—Dash or me. She wasn’t speaking and I had no idea how to interpret that.

Wild typically spoke a lot.

Then when I was close to losing my fucking mind, she launched into my arms, giving me that sweet mouth and wild pussy and I took it.

All of it.

I was gone for this girl before I came inside her. Now I didn’t know what the fuck I was but it was more than gone. Way past it. There was no going back to what we had before.

Then we talked and even that surprised me. I wasn’t sure how it was all going to go down, but this was Syd and she deserved answers. Knew she’d want to know my why and I didn’t want to hurt her.

I would never fucking hurt her. I’d die first.

That’s how far past gone I was.

And her knowing what I’d been doing before we had whatever the fuck it was we had could hurt her, in some way or another, so I gave her my why and it was nothing short of the truth.

I just held on to the one piece she didn’t need to feel. I did it to protect her. She didn’t need to know that ugly, and I was done with it.

All of it.

I’d make good of that as soon as I could. And maybe one day I could tell her everything, but I needed this to be solid first. I needed to make sure I had Syd in a place where, when I did tell her, she’d understand why I did it. Getting there might take a while, but I wouldn’t keep this from her forever.

She was my girl.

And this was the craziest shit I’d ever felt.

The deck was vacant, no assholes I had to deal with, so we moved together to the slider. I opened it and eased Syd inside with my hand on her back, stepped in behind her, closed the door, then threw my arm back over her shoulder and pulled her close, looking above her head and scanning the packed room to yell, “Party’s over! Everyone get the fuck out!”

Wide eyes hit me, some annoyed, some looking startled, those belonging to the chicks, then shifting quickly to annoyed.

I wasn’t playing. If every single one of these pricks didn’t make their way out of my house in a minute, I’d be removing bodies myself.

Someone cut off the music. Muffled voices moved about the room.

“Brian,” Sydney whispered, looking up and fighting a smile with her hand pressing on my stomach. “That’s kinda rude.”

“Don’t care,” I replied flatly. “Want to get you alone and I’m not doing it with these motherfuckers hanging around. They need to go.”

She thought that was some sweet shit, too. I saw it. The way she melted closer and her hazel eyes got soft.

Then with her lips pinched together, she turned to face the crowd, got up on her toes, and hollered over the commotion, “Thank you so much for coming! We loved having you!”