Hard to Fight
“This is supercool, Raide.”
He grins down at me and sits in his seat. “Don’t do romantic, but I can give you a piece of me.”
“Burgers?” I smile.
“Yeah, baby, burgers. And fries. And shakes. And fresh-picked flowers. A candle that I stole from Benny’s cabin.”
I laugh softly. “I love it.”
He tilts his head to the side and studies me. “Figured you would.”
We eat in silence, but our eyes remain locked the entire time. When we’re finished, Raide stands and offers me his hand. “Dance?”
“You said you don’t dance.”
His lips quirk. “Do you want romance or not, lady?”
I smile slyly, but then shake my head, confused. “But there’s no music.”
“There doesn’t need to be music for two people to move together and make somethin’ special.”
God.
He’s perfect.
I take his hand and we stand. He pulls me close, resting a hand on my hip while the other clutches mine, then we move across the open field, swaying to the invisible music. He’s right—there doesn’t need to be sound, because in this moment, what Raide and I are creating outweighs everything else beautiful in my life.
“Raide?” I whisper, pressing my cheek to his chest.
“Yeah, lady?”
“I wish we never had to leave.”
He sighs. “Feelin’ you.”
We sway some more, then Raide lets me go and walks to the table. He lifts the sheet and pulls out an old picnic rug. “Best sunset from up here.”
He lays it out on the ground and we both sit on it. I tuck my knees up to my chest and stare out at the sun that’s slowly beginning to set. Birds are quieting down, trees are softly swaying, and there’s nothing around for miles but Raide and me. He tucks me into his side and I hook my fingers through his, staring out at the gorgeous scene in front of me.
“Tell me about your family, Raide,” I whisper.
“Not much to tell.”
“Sure there is.”
He’s silent a moment, then he tells me the story. “My dad was a jerk. From day one, he was always drinkin’ or high. He got locked away when I was old enough to care. He left my mom alone with Kelly and me. She was never the best mom, but there were times I think she wanted to be. She couldn’t take it, and when I hit fourteen, she ran. I still don’t know where she ran to, but it crushed Kelly.”
“It would,” I say softly. “No one deserves to lose both their parents.”
“The funny thing is, I was angrier at him. I mean, if he was a decent man and a good husband and father, he might not have been put away and Mom might not have decided to pack it all up and run. It was obviously too hard for her.”
I don’t entirely agree. I think as a mom, it’s your job to fight no matter what for your children, but I’m not about to drop that on Raide. He’s got no one left, and I don’t pretend to know how horrible that must feel.
“Were there any good foster families?”
“Yeah,” he says, his tone fond. “When we were across the road from Benny, life was good then.”
“Do you think you’ll ever see your mom again?”
He shrugs. “No, and I don’t really want to. What would I say to her?”
“Does she know about Kelly?”
“I honestly don’t know.”
“Do you think it would upset her?”
He’s silent a minute, and I wonder if my question is too invasive. He finally answers. “Yeah, funnily enough, I really think it would. I don’t think she wanted to be a poor mother. I think she just married the wrong man.”
“Maybe.”
“You don’t think so?”
I don’t answer.
“You won’t offend me, Grace.”
I sigh. “I guess … I just couldn’t ever see myself abandoning my children. No matter what, I just couldn’t do it, but I’ve never been in her situation either. Maybe things are different.”
“No,” he murmurs. “You’re right. She should have fought harder. You should always fight for what you love.”
Time for a subject change. “It’s really beautiful up here.”
“My happy place,” he says, his voice low and throaty. “And you’ve just made it a whole lot happier.”
Guilt lies heavily in my chest. It’s getting closer—we’re coming to the point where I’m going to have to reveal to Raide who I am when I attempt to take him in. The very thought sends shock waves of pain through my chest. I’m falling for him. That’s the cold, hard truth of the matter. How the hell am I going to survive when I lose him? And it’s not a matter of “if” in this situation, it’s a matter of “when.”
Because I will lose him.
This isn’t a fight I can win.
Chapter Nineteen
I’m awakened by Raide’s soft lips brushing across my forehead. I blink my eyes to see him looking down at me. I fell asleep on the porch swing. It’s our last night here, and we’ve spent the entire day hiking, making love, and eating good food. We came back and I passed out from exhaustion. Now the sun is beginning to set and reality is beginning to rear its ugly head.
“Hey,” I croak.
“Hey. Listen, I gotta go out with Benny for a few hours. You goin’ to be okay?”
Oh.
“Oh,” I say softly. “Ah, where are you going?”
“Just for a beer—it’s been so long since I’ve had the chance to catch up with him.”
I’m not about to tell him he can’t spend time with Benny. “Sure,” I say.
“Heaps of food in there, and movies on the television. I won’t be long.”
I nod and he kisses me once more before disappearing to the car and driving off. I sigh and push up from the swing chair. I sit for a moment, waking up fully before plodding back inside. I take a long, hot bubble bath and then I make myself a sandwich before settling onto the couch. I’m still exhausted, so having a quiet night is probably a good thing. I find a good flick and settle in.
Midway through the movie, I get up and raid the fridge for some chocolate. I find some cookies-and-cream ice cream, so I take the entire tub and a spoon, then flop back down onto the couch. I’m midway through shoving my spoon in when my phone rings, I glance down at the screen to see it’s Vance. Crap. I haven’t told him where I am. I told Kady, but haven’t had the chance to think about anyone else.
I answer it. “Hey, Vance.”
“Hey, honey, how’s it going?”
I sigh with relief. He’s not mad. “It’s good, I’m just away for a few days. I’ll be back tomorrow.”
“How’s the case?”
“It’s okay. I thought I had it all worked out, but I didn’t. I’m sure Don’s told you.”
“Don’t worry about it—you did a good job. Not your fault he was squatting.”
My chest clenches. “No,” I sigh. “I guess not.”
“You okay, Gracie Lou? You don’t sound your usual sassy self.”
That’s because I think I’m falling in love with the man I’m meant to be bringing in. “I’m just tired, stressed. These big jobs are harder than I thought.”