‘Have you heard?’ said Pat, the morning after the bombing raid. ‘Alma Road Elementary School was hit last night. Hundreds of homes in the area were damaged, and the fire service are still battling with the blaze. There were casualties, some fatal I’m sorry to say, but there are no numbers yet.’ She gestured with her hands to show the magnitude of the wreckage. ‘The bomber came in the dead of the night,’ she continued. ‘When everyone was sleeping, the no-good— well, you know what I’m getting at.’

A shiver ran through Audrey as she listened and the muscles in her stomach tightened into a knot. It was a bitterly cold Saturday morning in November, a busy day in the shop, and some women waiting in the queue openly wept at the news. In her hands she held a box of last year’s Christmas cake decorations she had found in the storeroom and, feeling desolate, she looked at the figures of Father Christmas and red robins on frosted logs, as if they were postcards from a different life.

In the last few weeks, there had been numerous bombs dropped on Bournemouth and many worrisome hours spent in shelters. Thankfully most bombs had fallen on open spaces, but this time a residential area had borne the brunt of the raid.

‘That’s absolutely awful,’ said Audrey, holding her hand to her brow and rubbing at an invisible stain. ‘How can they hit a school? Poor littl’uns will be so upset. I expect they’ve been decorating it ready for Christmas too. I know Mary’s school have been making paper chains. I suppose we must be grateful it didn’t happen in the daytime! Heaven forbid! How can we help?’

The women in the shop huddled together, listening to the stories of people being rescued from the wreckage. Everyone looked pale and worn out. Even Pat, in her role as messenger, was listless.

‘I think they’ll need help serving refreshments to the AFS and ARP and to the people who have lost their homes,’ she said. ‘As you say, just before Christmas too, what a terrible thing to happen.’

‘Blast this war!’ said Elizabeth, who was in the shop. ‘And it’s so cold. Imagine being without a home in this weather. Anyone who needs somewhere to stay can come to my house.’

‘I’ll help out, Pat,’ said Elsie. ‘I’m not working on the buses today.’

Audrey leaned against the counter, shaking her head in dismay. ‘Coventry has had it bad too,’ she said. ‘Did you see the picture of their cathedral in the paper? Blown to smithereens. Hundreds dead.’

‘It’s a wonder we all keep going,’ said Pat. ‘The country’s taking such a battering.’

‘We might just be at the start of it,’ said Elizabeth, bleakly. ‘Last war went on for four years! We were all half-starved to death. To be honest, I think it’ll be a miracle if we win this time around.’

‘Oh don’t say that,’ said Pat. ‘You can’t give up like that. Where will that attitude get us?’

Audrey’s eyes travelled across the faces of the women in the shop, all of them usually so set with determination, grit and resilience. Today their faces revealed their deepest fears and darkest thoughts and Audrey wished she had something to tell them, a wand to wave that would renew their positive spirit. Christmas was coming, but would anyone be able to celebrate? Beyond the shop window the sky was slate grey and as people walked past, their umbrellas blew inside out in the wind. Feeling thoroughly depressed, she longed for the war to be over, but what good did longing do? You just had to get on with life, doing what you could and making the most of the little jewels of happiness that shone out of the darkness. Casting her mind back to one of Churchill’s speeches, she remembered his words: ‘Come then, let us go forward together with our united strength.’ Audrey looked at her customers and thought they could all do with reminding themselves of that speech.

‘I sometimes think we’ll have to give in,’ said Elizabeth. ‘If they invade, we’ll just have to let it happen.’

‘Absolute rot!’ said Pat. ‘That kind of opinion will be the death of us, Elizabeth!’

‘We have to keep going and feeling strong,’ said Audrey, firmly. ‘We have to keep going for each other and for the future. That’s what we do, isn’t it? We don’t give up. We can’t give up. Let me make some rolls for the firemen and the people whose homes have been destroyed. Lily, grab some bread and give me a hand, will you? Ladies, Maggie and Elsie will serve you, I won’t be long.’

In the kitchen, Audrey and Lily worked side by side, packing bread rolls into crates as a donation to the families in the respite centre or for the AFS personnel who had been working throughout the night. When Audrey had finished and put the kitchen knife down on the breakfast table, Lily moved over to the window and stared out at the dark sea, which was only discernible from the grey sky by the white froth thrown up by waves, like spittle. A silence fell between them and Audrey stopped what she was doing, aware that Lily was staring at her.

‘Audrey, I need to talk to you,’ Lily said, her voice sombre.

‘Of course,’ said Audrey, her heartbeat quickening.

Aware of the minutes ticking by while she should be in the shop helping Maggie and relieving Elsie, Audrey moved closer to Lily, both women looking out to sea from the kitchen window. Lily took a deep breath.

‘You’ve been so kind to me,’ Lily said, continuing to look at the sea. ‘Thank you.’

Audrey squeezed Lily’s arm affectionately. ‘You’re my family,’ Audrey said. ‘I care about you.’

With quivering lips Lily managed a small smile.

‘I have been thinking about the baby,’ said Lily. ‘My father wrote to me and said if I keep the baby he will consider it to be a rejection of him and everything he stands for, just as you told me after your visit to London.’

‘But what about you?’ Audrey said. ‘What do you think?’

Lily took a deep breath and looked down at the floor. Her voice trembled as she spoke. ‘I miss him and I’m not ready to be a mother. I don’t think I have it in me to be one yet,’ she said. ‘I know how cold this makes me sound, but I made a dreadful mistake and I wholeheartedly regret it. I don’t want this baby to start its life as a “mistake”. I want to know this baby will be loved and looked after, especially in these uncertain times, and I…’

Lily paused and looked at her hands. Audrey felt light-headed. Holding her breath, she waited for Lily to finish speaking, keeping her eyes fixed on the ebb and flow of the waves.

‘I would like for you to adopt the baby,’ said Lily, barely able to form the words, glossy tears streaming down her cheeks. ‘If that’s what you still want to do and are able, I think it would be best for everyone. Best for the baby.’

A myriad of emotions hit Audrey all at once. She broke out in goosebumps, a brilliant smile burst onto her face and her eyes pricked with tears. This was her chance to become a mother, to cherish and love Lily’s baby as her own. There was no doubt in her own mind that she would be honoured to care for the baby, but a Charlie-shaped question mark pinged into her head. Though she had talked to him about it in theory, it wasn’t until now that she’d had a clear indication from Lily that this was what she really wanted. Creasing her forehead, concerns suddenly began to fog her mind. Had Lily searched her soul before making this decision? As if reading her mind, Lily nodded her head.

‘I’ve thought about it until I can think no more,’ said Lily. ‘It feels right. I can still know the child, but as an aunt. My father doesn’t have to have anything to do with him or her, he’s made it quite clear that’s what he wants, and Henry Bateman, well, why I ever got tangled up with him I’ll never know. He wasn’t the person I thought he was. Audrey, you’re the kindest person I know, you would be a better mother than I will ever be.’

Lily was trying her hardest not to cry.

‘Come here,’ said Audrey, throwing her arms around her. ‘Dry your eyes.’ Hugging Lily, Audrey’s heart soared at the thought of being a mother, but also at the prospect of being able to help Lily. With William away and Daphne estranged, every instinct in her was telling her to hold on to Lily and the baby and never let go. ‘Thank you,’ she said, her head and heart spinning.

---

Audrey couldn’t wait until Charlie had woken from his nap. She had to speak to him urgently. Creeping into the bedroom where he was sleeping, she quietly closed the door behind her, her heart hammering.

‘What is it?’ Charlie said, sitting immediately upright. ‘Is it the siren? Is it the ovens?’

‘No, love,’ said Audrey, sitting down on the bed next to him and grabbing hold of his hand. ‘It’s Lily.’

Charlie rubbed his eyes, which were red from lack of sleep, and Audrey felt guilty for waking him up. He worked so hard.

‘Is she well?’ he said, pushing back the eiderdown. ‘That fella’s not back is ’e?’

Audrey made a decision to be matter-of-fact with Charlie. She would tell it just like it was and hope that he supported her. The Charlie she married would, but what about the distracted, irritable man Charlie had been since war was declared? She wasn’t so sure.

‘Lily told me she would like us to adopt her baby,’ Audrey said softly. ‘I want nothing more.’

Charlie let his head drop down back onto the pillow with a thud, but said nothing.

‘Charlie?’ Audrey said, a feeling of dread sinking into her stomach.

He looked her in the eye. ‘Who would look after it?’ he asked. ‘You’re needed in the shop. Someone’s got to help me look after this business, else we’re done for. Our accounts aren’t looking too rosy you know, love.’

Though her stomach was flipping, Audrey smiled reassuringly. ‘Let me work that out,’ she said. ‘I can manage. There’s plenty of us to help out with caring for a baby.’

‘You can’t just put it on the shelf like a loaf and carry on working,’ said Charlie. ‘Who would do the counter goods?’

‘Me,’ Audrey said. ‘I know I can manage this. I know it.’

Closing her eyes for a moment, Audrey instructed herself not to get upset.

‘Charlie love, this is difficult to say, but I don’t think I’m able to have a baby,’ Audrey confessed. ‘We’ve been trying religiously for five years and I’ve not caught. But it’s more than that, Charlie. Lily’s baby was an accident of wartime, a random coming together of two people with uncertain futures. Lily came to me. This is my chance to do something important. I can’t stop the war, Charlie, I can’t get William back from wherever he is, or bring back Jacques or the Stringer boys, but I can love this child. It’s what I need to do. I have to do this. Do you understand how that feels, when you’re driven to do something, almost regardless of everything else?’

Quiet for what seemed like an eternity, Charlie finally spoke. ‘Yes, love,’ he said gently, squeezing his wife’s hand. ‘I do.’