Chapter 16
Fliss made it all the way back to her bedchamber, had undressed, with Mary’s assistance, and donned her nightgown and robe before the numbness she felt at Sin’s rejection was replaced by anger.
How dare Sin dismiss her?
After all they had been to each other this past month?
How dare he!
She would not be dismissed. Refused absolutely to allow Sin to send her back to England as if she were nothing more than an unwanted parcel. When she returned to England, and it might well be tomorrow, she would make her own arrangements.
All her life, it seemed, she had been instructed to do this or to do that, with never a thought from others as to whether “this or that” would bring about or add to her own happiness. Fliss had no intention of ever again allowing anyone to dictate her future movements.
Sin had given her that.
Since bringing her to Scotland, he had opened her eyes to a freedom she now refused to relinquish. The freedom to walk where she wanted, to go where she wanted, eat when and where she wanted, take to her bed whom she wanted. Sin might have tired of her and wished her gone, but she would not be sent away from here without first having her say.
The anger she now felt was enough to take her out of her bedchamber, along the candlelit hallway, down the wide staircase, across the entrance hall, before throwing open the door to Sin’s study.
“What the…?” He sat in an armchair beside the fire, a glass of some amber liquid in his hand as he turned his head to look at Fliss. She strode into the room and slammed the door behind her. “Fliss?” He eyed her warily.
Now that she was here, Fliss was uncertain of what to say. Only that she must say something. “I have enjoyed our time together.” Not exactly the roasting she had intended, she acknowledged with a wince, but the conversation had to start somewhere.
“As have I,” Sin answered warily.
Fliss began to pace the room. “You have opened my eyes to a life, a freedom I had not imagined nor ever known before.”
“Good…” Sin had no idea where she was going with this conversation.
He did not particularly care either, was only pleased to see her, to be with her, having deeply regretted her absence as soon as she left his study earlier.
The way the candlelight shone through her nightgown and robe, outlining her luscious curves, was highly distracting.
Fliss nodded in answer to his comment. “That being the case, I wish to state that I am not yet ready to relinquish our…sexual relationship.”
His brows rose. “No?”
“No,” she assured him briskly. “Your responses to me indicate you have…enjoyed our encounters too.”
Enjoyed them? Bloody hell, Sin had lived for those times he and Fliss made love together.
“I have,” he confirmed guardedly, still unsure what it was Fliss wanted from him.
Her eyes gleamed a dark gray. “Past tense?”
His frown felt pained. “The danger is over now. You must be anxious to return to England.”
“Why must I?” Her answer sounded waspish.
“You have a life there. A home. Friends.”
“I thought I had a friend here too?”
Him. Fliss meant him.
Sin sighed. “I cannot be your friend, Fliss.” How could he ever settle for so little when he wanted so much? No, far better to cut the ties completely than have to sit back and watch as Fliss exerted that freedom. A freedom that did not include him.
“Why not?” Sudden tears swam in those huge gray eyes.
Sin placed his glass carefully down on the table beside him before standing. This might possibly be the last private conversation he and Fliss ever had together. “Do you wish me to speak honestly?” He had nothing to lose by doing so, was only concerned he did not embarrass or upset Fliss in the process.
“Always.” She breathed the word, sounding both apprehensive and hopeful.
He nodded. “You asked why I was so angry this morning? It was because you asked when I thought we might hear from Brooketon. The implication being that you wished for an end to this situation. And that hurt. I wanted to punish you when we went riding. Wanted you never to forget how it felt to have me inside you.”
“I never will.” Of course Fliss had wished for the danger to Sin to end, for him to be safe from further harm. “Did you not wish for the situation to be over too?”
“Not if it meant you would leave!”
Fliss blinked at his vehemence. “You do not wish me to go?”
Sin’s mouth thinned. “No.”
“But you gave the impression… I believed… Why not?”
Sin fought a war within himself whether to abase himself completely or allow his pride to stand in his way. It was a short battle. “Because I have fallen in love with you, and the thought of you leaving here, leaving me, is unacceptable. No, it is not only unacceptable, it is too painful for me to contemplate.” Sin decided that only complete and utter abasement would do.
Fliss seemed frozen, her eyes wide, lips parted in a silent O.
“Now you know,” Sin muttered self-derisively as he picked up the whisky glass and threw back the contents, welcoming the burn down his throat as he moved to refill the glass. “You should go, Fliss, because I intend to get very drunk, and then I shall probably fall asleep in a chair,” he acknowledged wearily. “I assure you I will not embarrass you again on this subject. Before you leave, or afterward— What…? Fliss?” He looked down at her searchingly as she suddenly launched herself into his arms.
“I love you too!” Her eyes glowed up at him. “The only reason I asked about Lord Brooketon this morning and when this situation might end was because I wanted to know how much longer I could expect to be able to remain here with you. I do not miss England in the slightest. Nor do I want to leave you. Not ever. I love you,” she repeated softly. “So very much.”
Sin gathered her close. “Then marry me. Be my wife, Fliss. Stay with me here forever.”
“I want to marry you. I want that more than anything.”
“But…?” Impossible for Sin to miss the shadow that had passed over her face, robbing her cheeks of color and causing her eyes to lose their happy glow.
She chewed on her bottom lip. “I was married for three years and—and I did not conceive. I wanted a child so much, but it did not happen.”
“That does not mean you will not conceive with me. Even if that should turn out to be the case, what difference does it make? I am the Earl of Winterbourne only because my predecessor died childless.”
“He was never married.”
“And if you think a little thing like not having children is going to stop me from marrying you, you are mistaken,” he told her firmly. “You are the woman I love, Fliss. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Not some mythical child or children. They will happen or they will not, and it will not change the love I feel for you in the slightest.” His arms tightened about her. “For God’s sake, agree to marry me and put me out of my misery.”
Fliss gave a choked laugh as he reverted back to the dictatorial Sin she knew and loved. The man who had given her the freedom to finally be herself. The man who loved her because of who she now was.
“Yes, Sin, I will marry you,” she accepted, and gladly. “Now carry me up to your bedchamber and make love to me.” She issued an order of her own, knowing it would be obeyed.
“God, yes!” He swung her up into his arms, holding her tightly as he strode out of the room.
Fliss never wanted to be anywhere else.
Two months later.
“It is beautiful, Sin.” Fliss admired the emerald necklace her new husband had just fastened about her neck. She wore nothing else, apart from her emerald engagement ring. The latter was now nestled alongside the thin gold wedding band Sin had slipped onto her finger at their wedding only hours ago.
If their courtship had been fraught with danger, then the weeks since had been filled with nothing but happiness: the announcement of their betrothal and the wearing of the emerald engagement ring that had once been Sin’s mother’s and was a perfect match for the color of Sin’s eyes; shopping for her wedding gown; sending out the invitations; the wedding this afternoon, followed by the wedding breakfast with all their friends and family. Even Ranulf, something of a recluse since the betrayal and death of his wife, had made his appearance as Sin’s best man, before once again disappearing to Cairn House. Fliss hoped that she and Sin might be of some comfort to him once they returned to Castle Montgomery after their honeymoon.
The happy couple had made their escape an hour or so ago, but Sin’s offer to help her change her clothes had developed into something much more enjoyable.
The two of them now lay naked in bed together in the aftermath of their lovemaking. In a few hours’ time, they would board Sin’s ship, newly named the Felicity, before literally sailing off into the sunset for several months. But for now, there was the two of them and the deep love they felt for each other.
She snuggled closer in Sin’s arms. “I have a wedding gift for you too.”
He eyed her quizzically. “It is not customary for the bride to give the groom a present.”
Fliss gave a snort. “When have we ever followed anything so tame as custom?”
“True,” he conceded. “You looked beautiful in your wedding gown, Fliss.” His eyes were full of love and pride for her. “Of course, you look even more beautiful out of it,” he added wickedly.
“I wonder if you will still think so in a few months’ time…” Fliss took his hand and placed it against her abdomen. “My gift to you, Sin,” she told him huskily.
He looked confused for a moment, and then his brow cleared. “You are expecting our child…”
“I am.” She glowed with the knowledge of the child they had conceived during one of those many times they had made love together.
With love.
Always and forever with love.