Holding You

Whispering in Alex’s ear, I said, “Nothing else matters if I don’t have her, Alex. Nothing.”



Clearing his throat, my father walked up to me and placed his hand on my back. “Colt, let’s go get something to eat.”



Alex stepped away and looked into my eyes. There was something calming about the way she was looking at me. “You need to eat, Colt. If you want to be strong for Lauren, you need to eat. Let me take you to the cafeteria.



Nodding my head, I glanced over to Grace. Her eyes were red from all the crying. She looked how I felt. “Grace, are you hungry?”



Nodding her head, she smiled slightly. “Yeah.”



Looking around the room I asked who was hungry. Amanda walked up to me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “Um . . . we all just got back from eating something.” Turning to Grace, Amanda smiled. “Grace, you go with Alex and Colt, sweetheart. I know you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday.”



Walking up to me, Grace laced her arm through mine as Alex stood on the other side of me. “Come on, let’s get us some food,” Grace said, barely above a whisper.



Turning to my father, I went to talk but he just nodded his head. I knew he wouldn’t leave, but I just needed to know he would be here for Lauren if I couldn’t.



The moment we stepped into the elevator and the door closed, I felt as if I couldn’t breathe. “Maybe I should stay here and y’all go get food?”



Alex shook her head. “No, Colt, we’re going to get food. Mom, Dad, Scott, and Jessie are up there. It’s okay.”



Nodding my head, I blindly let Alex and Grace lead me to the cafeteria.



Grace and I both ate chicken salad sandwiches and a bag of chips. I had to admit I felt better getting something into my body. Alex made me drink two bottles of water, then handed me a bag. “It’s a change of clothes. Will brought them after Daddy asked him to grab you some clothes.”



Reaching out for the bag, I nodded my head. I’d been in the same clothes I changed into after football practice a few days ago. “I’ll um, go change in the bathroom.”



Grace and Alex both nodded their heads and said they would wait for me by the elevator. After changing, I placed my clothes into the bag and zipped it up. Looking at myself in the mirror, I couldn’t believe how terrible I looked. I hadn’t slept in two days except for a few times when I nodded off for about ten minutes or so. Closing my eyes, I dropped my head back. “I swear to you, I’ll do anything you want if you please just bring her back to me. Please.”



Looking back at myself in the mirror, I splashed cold water on my face, reached for the bag and headed out the door. Alex and Grace were both waiting by the elevator as I made my way over to them. Swallowing hard, I attempted to push down the ache in my chest.



“Do you feel better?” Alex asked.



With a shaky voice I answered, “Yeah, a little. Alex, how are you holding up? I mean, the baby and everything?”



Giving me a sweet smile, Alex placed her hand over her stomach. “Everything is fine with the baby, Colt. Please don’t worry about me. We’re both fine.”



Leaning over, I kissed Alex lightly on the cheek. “I love you, Alex,” I whispered.



Fighting to keep her tears at bay, Alex whispered back, “I love you too, Colt.”



Grace hit the up button and we waited for the elevator doors to open. Stepping inside, I glanced down at something Grace was holding in her hand. “Grace, what are you holding?”



With a trembling chin, she held her hand open and revealed a rock. “Lauren gave it to me when I left for college.” Letting out a weak chuckle she shook her head. “I asked why a rock and she said it was the rock I threw at Thomas Wringer when he called her a tomboy. She had kept it . . . and . . .”



Grace turned away from me as she covered her mouth in an attempt not to cry.



The doors opened to the fifth floor. ICU was on this floor as well as the oncology unit. Stepping out of the elevator, I heard Grace and Alex both let out a gasp. Turning, there was a guy and a girl standing there.



“Grace?”



Wiping her tears away, Grace whispered, “Noah?”



“W-what are you doing here? Is everything okay?” Noah asked as he went to reach out for Grace. Taking a step back, she bumped into me. Taking a hold of her, I felt her whole body shaking.



“Lauren, she’s here in ICU. Bacterial meningitis,” Grace whispered.



Noah’s eyes filled with compassion. “I’m so sorry.”



Grace nodded her head but didn’t say anything. Noah cleared his throat as he looked at Alex, then me.