Chapter Seven: Brendan
What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m confronting her about who visits her? What right do I have? Even if that guy is interested in her, I have no right to care. But I do. I fucking care. I run my fingers through my hair as I slowly exhale. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the way I did when I saw her arms around him. I didn’t even think I was capable of emotions like that, but jealousy seized me like a vice. What am I supposed to do now? I can’t pursue her. We’re polar opposites. If it didn’t work out, it would be awful living right next door. Could she even like me after how rude I’ve been? I don’t think hanging a few strings of lights is enough redemption. Still, she seems warm. She could like me. I can always hope.
~~~
This is it. I’m doing it. I knock on her door, waiting for her to open it. I’m just going to say it. I’m going to tell her that I find her attractive, and I want to take her out. When the door opens, I step back.
“Hey, man, can I help you?”
I blink rapidly. “Uh, is Harper here?”
“Yeah, she’s here.” He turns and calls her name.
“Who is it, Eric?” She peers around him wearing nothing but a sheet wrapped around her. I see the fire roaring in the background, the champagne glasses, her dress strewn on the floor. “Hey, Brendan. What’s up?”
“Um, nothing. I just came…”
She smiles. “What?”
“Are you with him?”
She nods. “I couldn’t wait for you forever.” She steps closer. “I tried to get your attention, but you weren’t ready. I had to move on.”
“Move on?”
"You understand. A woman like me isn't going to wait around."
Eric puts his arm around her shoulder. “You took too long, man. Now she’s mine.” He leans down and kisses her in front of me. I step back, feeling a searing pain in my chest.
“I thought I had more time.”
Harper looks at me. “We always think we do.”
I sit up straight, breathing hard. Fuck. It was a dream. It wasn’t real. She’s not with him. Not yet. I can’t let that happen. I have to try. It might be a disaster, but I have to tell her. I have to.
~~~
Hours later, after a restless night, I grab my phone and dial my assistant.
“Morning, Brendan.”
“Hey, Michelle. I’m not going to be in today.” She’s silent. “Michelle?”
“You’re calling out?”
“Yes. I know it’s unusual, but—”
“Unusual? It’s unheard of. What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
"No, I'm fine. Just something important came up, and I really need to handle it today. Everything's fine, and I'll be back tomorrow. If you could clear my calendar, I'd appreciate it."
“Sure. Of course. No problem.”
“Thanks. Have a good day.”
“Uh, yeah, you too.”
“I hope to." I hang up and throw on a pair of jeans and a sweater. In the two years Michelle has worked for me, I've never not come to work. I work the longest hours of anyone. I rarely take vacation. Judging from her reaction, apparently, I rarely tell her to have a nice day.
I take a deep breath as I descend the stairs. Then I open my door and march over to Harper’s. I knock softly praying she’s alone. I hear her footsteps approaching as nervous energy grips me. When she opens the door, she graces me with her beautiful smile.
“Good morning, Brendan. Everything okay?”
I search her eyes for a moment, considering my next move. Instead of carefully measuring my reply, I let myself do what I've been dying to do for weeks. Taking a step forward, I cup her face. Her eyes open wide, but before she can speak, my lips are on hers. She tenses briefly but quickly melts into my arms. I walk us backward, pulling her closer and letting my hands slide up and down her back. Her fingers move into my hair, and suddenly, we’re falling back on her couch. I kiss her hard, then soft, then hard again. My lips wander away from her luscious mouth, down her neck and over every delicious inch of exposed skin. She breathes hard, gripping my arms, and gazing at me with the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. My hand slides just under her skirt, gripping her thigh, as I gently nibble her bottom lip. While keeping her eyes on mine, she undoes two of her buttons, providing a glimpse of her bra and cleavage. Without hesitation, I bury my face between them, kissing and dragging my tongue over her flesh.
“Brendan…” she moans.
I rise, holding her gaze with mine. "Do you want me to stop?"
“No. I never want you to stop.”
I pull her arm gently until she’s upright. “I couldn’t hold it back anymore.”
“Really?”
“Really. Can you call out sick?" A slow smile spreads across her lips. "I want to spend the day with you. Can I?"
“Yeah, we can do that.”
I lean forward and kiss her again. Her breath catches slightly, and she moans just a little as I move away. “Awesome.”
She pops off the couch and makes a phone call while I just take in what happened. That kiss. Man, it was amazing. Better than that. It changed me.
When she comes back, she smiles hesitantly. “I called out. I’m gonna change clothes real quick.”
“I’ll be here.”
She walks upstairs, slowly, looking back at me as she does. I’m sure her mind is blown. So is mine if I think about it. When she returns, she’s changed into a t-shirt and yoga pants. Her hair that was pulled back is now down, sexily falling around her face.
She smiles. “You sure you want to hang out?”
“Absolutely. Why?”
“I thought you might’ve come to.”
I tilt my head. “What do you mean?”
"Maybe you were just having some kind of episode or something, and you snapped out of it."
“Come here.” She joins me on the couch. “I’ve been having some kind of episode for years. Your kiss snapped me out of it.”
“That’s sweet.”
“I have so many things I want to say, Harper.”
She nods. “Okay.”
As we sit I take her hand in mine. “You are so beautiful. The first day I saw you, I couldn’t get over it.”
She blinks rapidly as her cheeks turn pink. “What?”
“You are amazing. I’ve wanted to touch you, run my fingers through your hair, kiss your mouth. I couldn’t hold back anymore.”
“What happened to you? Until I fell off the roof, you barely spoke to me. Now you’re kissing me and telling me I’m beautiful. I don’t get it.”
I nod. “Understandable. The truth is I avoided you, and I was rude to you to protect myself."
“Protect?”
“I found you attractive the minute I saw you, Harper. That day standing outside I thought wow, what a truly beautiful woman. She’s not hiding under layers of makeup. She’s just beautiful.”
“That’s really nice.”
“And then every time I saw you, all I could do was fight you off.”
“But why?”
I look away for a moment to compose myself. “Remember when you told me some things are too painful to talk about?”
She nods. “Yes.”
“Yeah, well, I have something like that in my life. I avoid people. Relationships, friends, even family. I’m…” I shake my head as I stand up and walk over to the window. Harper quickly follows, rubbing my back.
“What is it, Brendan? You can tell me anything.”
I look back at her, studying the kindness in her eyes. “I’m afraid, Harper. That’s why I avoided you. That’s why I was a dick. I’m afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Being hurt. Being left.”
Her eyes soften as she reaches up and brushes her fingers across my cheek. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
“We all deal with hurt and loss in different ways. You must have lost someone you loved very much.”
I nod, feeling my chest tighten whenever I think about it. “Yeah.”
“Why did you come here today? Why did you kiss me?”
“I saw you with that man. Eric. I imagined seeing you in his arms, and the feeling that caused in me was shocking. I realized that even though I tried to block you out, it didn’t work. You got under my skin, Harper Rose.”
“You sound sad about it.”
I twist around to face her. “I don’t know what I’m doing. I haven’t been in a relationship for years. I’ve stuffed my feelings down so far I don’t know how to get them back.”
“Don’t you?” She smiles. “You’re here. You’re talking to me. You’re telling me things.”
“I don’t deserve someone like you.”
“What does that even mean? You barely know me. Maybe I’m a dick.”
I laugh softly, cupping her cheek. “No way. You’re the happiest person I’ve ever met. You’re even making me feel some kind of happy. I hung Christmas lights for fuck sake.”
She laughs softly. “I’m happy because I choose it.” She steps closer so I wrap my arms around her waist. “I’m also so lonely. I cry a lot at night thinking about the things I’ve lost. I think about it even more at this time of year.” My eyes open wide. “I choose happiness, Brendan, because if I didn’t, I would never get out of bed.”
“What?”
“I’ll tell you my sad story if you tell me yours.”
I shake my head. “I don’t know if I can. I don’t know if I’m brave enough.”
“Okay then. I’ll be brave first. Do you want some coffee?”
“Yeah.”