When I first met Kal, I was hoping only to lose my virginity to him. I wanted to be able to remember the absurdly hot guy who took my innocence and introduced me to the world of sex.

Instead, I got so much more.

My pussy is repeatedly invaded by his big hard-on as my orgasm slowly builds. I’m on top of him, my damp hair matted to my forehead and the rest hanging down into his face.

From the very first time I had Kal inside of me, I knew I would never get tired of that feeling.

This time, though, it’s different.

This time my heart moves.

I’m looking into those beautiful brown eyes of Kal’s when he says, “Is my baby gonna come hard for me?”

My baby.

That’s all it takes. In an instant, I know I’ve fallen deeply in love with this amazing man.

Of course, I come harder than I ever have before, moaning and thrashing like a total slut. It seems to have an effect on Kal, who groans as he unloads insides of me.

Well, I sure didn’t see this happening.

I mean, the coming-at-the-same-time thing is ridiculously common for us. It happens so often that I’ve almost come to expect it, even though I still relish it when it does.

No, I’m talking about my heart moving.

That was unexpected.

“We’re perfect for each other.”

I’m startled by Kal actually giving voice to that feeling. I’ve thought it before but never wanted to say anything. And here he is just blurting it out.

“We definitely are in bed,” I respond, trying to play it cool.

“Not just in bed, Dani. Everywhere else, too.”

He doesn’t say anything else about it, and I’m too scared to go there myself.

Not now. Not yet.

March

I just blew Kal behind the gym.

We were taking a short cut between classes and he stopped behind the building and said, “Dani…”

“What?” I asked, turning around.

He stood there looking at me with a strange expression. I had no idea what he was thinking.

“What, Kal? Tell me!”

He smiled and said, “I adore you.”

Most girls would respond to a gorgeous man like Kal telling them something like that by replying in kind, right?

Not me. No, Dani’s brain started spinning like crazy and I didn’t know whether to say anything at all. Without a word, I pulled him off the trail to a little area next to the creek. I checked to make sure the surrounding foliage provided enough privacy, then I dropped to my knees and undid his pants as quickly as I could.

He seemed surprised but didn’t object. No surprise there, right? He’s a guy, after all.

I put every ounce of energy and every bit of my heart and soul into that blowjob. I deep-throated him farther than I ever have, though it’s still my goal to get that entire thing down my throat. I devoured that cock, hungrily sucking until he gave me my warm liquid reward.

When I finished, he pulled me up and kissed me hard without bothering to pull his pants back up first.

Now he’s finally taking his mouth off mine as he reaches down to get his jeans. Zipping them up, he asks, “So does that mean you adore me, too?”

I can still taste his cum as I grin and nod.

“I do,” I say, knowing I already feel much more than that. “And I have a favor to ask.”

“Name it.”

“After we get out of our classes, I want you to bring me back here and return the favor.”

And he does. An hour later, he’s got me lying on the ground, naked from the waist down and ignoring the cold as his talented tongue brings me to a huge orgasm. When I start moaning, Kal reaches a hand up and covers my mouth, which just makes me come harder and moan louder.

It’s a miracle nobody heard me and came to investigate.

April

I’m beginning to worry now, because Kal will be going to grad school next year, while I still have two years left here. We’ve talked about it, and he said he’s applied to six different MBA programs and isn’t sure at this point where he’ll be. We’ve already decided to spend a month backpacking in France this summer. But then what?

“I hate the idea of being away from you, though,” he says.

We’re having lunch at the Lebanese restaurant. It’s Friday, and I’m taking the train to my folks’ place tonight for a weekend visit. I look up at him as I swallow a bite of Fattoush salad.

“It’s gonna suck.”

“You’re just going to miss the sex,” I cheekily add.

“Stop that. I don’t mean just this weekend, I mean while I’m at grad school next year.”

His tone says he’s serious. I realize his gyro is sitting in his plate and I set my fork down.

“What do you want me to say, Kal? At this point, you don’t even know where you’ll be next year, only that it won’t be here at Oak Ridge. To be honest, it’s impossible to make plans beyond August. I’m afraid you’ll go away and that’ll be it for us.”

He reaches across the table to take my hand in his.

“A guy could commit to a girl like you.”

What? Did I hear that right?

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know, Dani. I definitely don’t want to see this end.”

Well, fuck. Now he’s going to make me cry.

“Are you saying you’re ready to commit? That’s a big step.”

He runs his hands through this hair. “I think I am, I guess. If you are, I could be, too.”

We look at each other for a second or two until he realizes the hesitation built into his response. Then he laughs softly and rephrases it.

“I mean, yeah, I’m ready. I want that. I want you.” His hand tightens around mine. “We can last apart for two years until I get my MBA. You know, visiting each other during holidays and breaks, maybe even all summer long. We can make it work until we’re both out of school.”

I want to believe him. But there’s a problem.

This man has never told me that he loves me, yet he’s talking about a commitment. I start to tell him that, but the last thing I want is to make him feel like he has to say those three little words.

“Think about it while you’re at your parents’, baby. We can talk more about it next week. But I want you to know I think this thing we have is worth protecting.”

This thing we have.

Those words don’t sit well with me. It’s a relationship, dummy. That’s what it’s called when you spend all your free time with someone, give your body to them, give your heart to them.

It’s a relationship.

“Okay,” I tell him, thoroughly confused.

Kal drops me off at the train station. He offers to wait with me, but I tell him there’s no need. These trains often run late, so who knows how long he’d be waiting? He smiles and sets my weekend bag down, then plants a giant kiss on me. When he doesn’t let up and our tongues get involved, I’m at first self-conscious about the nearby people. Then I melt into that kiss and it becomes a glorious, evolving thing.

It’s incendiary, and if it’s possible to express love in a kiss, that’s what Kal is doing. At least if he can’t say it with words, he manages to get the point across.

Afterward, he whispers, “Let’s talk about this when you get back. I’d never forgive myself if I lost you.”

It’s such a sweet thing to say. I watch as he walks to his car, gives me a little wave, then drives off.

Half of me wants to scream at him to stop, to tell him I’m ready to talk about it now and that my parents can wait until summer to see me. I remain quiet though, and my train shows up a few minutes later, right on time.

The train ride back home is three hours long. For two hours, I sit in my seat thinking of nothing but Kal and his willingness to commit to what we have. He said he wanted to make it work, that we can do it if we’re both dedicated to the idea.

I’d never forgive myself if I lost you.

The words keep tumbling in my mind, as does the heat of that kiss.

Over and over and over, until it dawns on me that I don’t want to see my parents this weekend. I want to spend it with Kal, discussing our future.

I impulsively get off at the next stop and buy a ticket back to Oak Ridge, then wait for the next train. This is not the kind of thing I do; as a rule, I’m quite pragmatic. But nothing in the world appeals to me more at this moment than spending the night—hell, the entire weekend—in Kal’s arms. I call my parents and tell them something came up and I can’t make it this weekend.

I decide to surprise him. With any luck, he’ll be at his place when I get there, instead of out drinking with his buddies. I tell myself if I arrive and he’s not there, I can call and tell him what I did. But I’m hoping he’s there. I have an image of me knocking on his bedroom door and him answering, then I leap up into his arms and we tumble back into his bed.

By the time my train gets to Oak Ridge and I take an Uber to Kal’s house, I’m so excited I can barely stand it. The front door is unlocked, so I let myself in. Kal and his roommates rarely lock the place, since nobody would be stupid enough to try to rob a house full of football players.

The house is quieter than usual, but I assume that the guys are out on a Friday night. I pad quietly up the stairs and proceed down the hallway toward Kal’s room at the very end. Before I get halfway there, I hear giggling, then a woman’s voice.

“Let me go!”

A door flies open down the hall and a naked woman runs out, coming right at me. She’s tall and curvy, with long, curly black hair and giant breasts that are bouncing around like crazy.

“Sorry!” she giggles as I step aside so she can run past me. Then she ducks into the house’s sole bathroom.

When I turn and look down the hallway again, I realize that Kal’s door is the one that’s wide open—that’s the room she ran out of.

I freeze, wondering what to do. My heart is pounding so hard I can hear my own pulse in my ears, and my lungs don’t seem to want to work properly.

It can’t be. There must be a mistake.

My head is buzzing like crazy. I don’t know how long I stand there, but the bathroom door opens, and the woman emerges, still naked and this time trying her best to cover those huge tits with her hands. She giggles again as she passes, then she disappears back into the room, slamming the door behind her.

Kal’s door.

Kal’s room.

The slamming door jolts me out of my trance and I turn and dash out of the house. I signal for another Uber and by the time they get there a few minutes later, I’m a bawling mess. The poor Uber drive is concerned and asks me if there’s anything he can do to help.

Maybe he can tell me why man are such assholes.

At midnight I’m in my room at the MAA house, crying my eyes out with Brinly and Samantha trying to console me. My T-shirt is thoroughly soaked with tears.

“What do I do?”

Brinly twirls a dark auburn lock in thought. “You’re sure you want to break up with him?”

“It’s the only thing I’m sure about. I won’t let any man cheat on me, especially one I love.”

I turn to Samantha, my red eyes pleading for help. I value her advice because she’s the oldest girl in the house at age 26 and she’s been through this kind of shit before.

“Do you want to give him a chance to explain?” she asks.

I don’t want to give Kal the courtesy of listening to whatever excuse he could possibly have. I’m done with him. No second chance. He dropped me off at the train station with sweet-talk and kisses, then had another woman in his bed hours later. I shake my head, trying to control my tears.

“Okay, then do it by text,” Samantha says. “And block him right after. The girls and I have your back and we’ll make sure he never sets foot in this house again.”

Brinly adds, “In another few weeks the semester will be over, and you’ll never see him again.”

Just like that, I burst into huge sobs again. I get hugs from both girls, and we sit there on my bed in a little triangle.

Then my phone dings with Kal’s text signal. Dammit! I should have turned the ringer off.

“Is that him?” Samantha asks.

I nod.

“Let me see,” Brinly says, and I hand her the phone. She looks at it, then reads the text aloud:

The word “baby” now feels like a knife in my stomach. What can I possibly say? I want to scream at him, to confront him about the naked woman in his room.

Samantha, as usual, is the voice of reason. “My advice is to end it as quietly and quickly as possible. Don’t explain a damn thing. You don’t owe him an explanation. Just walk away and let him try to figure out what the hell he did wrong.”

So that’s exactly what I do, in a single text.

I look at both girls, and they nod. Then I hit send.

“Now block him,” Samantha says. “Before he can reply, because you know you’ll read it if he does.”

I quickly block him entirely. Text, phone, Snapchat. Even Facebook, which I rarely even use.

Brinly tells me, “I would turn off your phone for the night, just to be sure.”

I turn off my phone, aching at the thought of never being able to speak to Kal again. How could he be so shallow as to stick his cock in that big-tit woman when he thought I was out of town?

Samantha says, “I’ll be right back.” She returns with Tillie, Alyssa, Lexi, Cadence, a bottle of tequila and a lime.

An hour later, I’m drunk as fuck and feeling no pain.

Or more accurately, not quite as much pain.