Chapter Two
Olivia made the whole thing sound exciting, as she recounted the story to our mother.
I, on the other hand, was fuming. It hadn't been exciting for me. I'd been scared witless, and had really thought my number was up, so I was quite offended by the way Mum just sat there, listening to every word, eyes wide, mouth open, as if she hadn't just almost lost her precious eldest daughter.
Olivia paused for dramatic effect, then added, "And she wouldn't be sitting here now, if it wasn't for that mysterious stranger and his firm, manly grasp."
Mum shook her head. "Fancy that," she said. "I wonder who he was?"
"Dunno," Olivia mused. She tilted her head to one side. "I know everyone around here. He doesn't live in the village, that's for sure. Mind you, he looked as if he'd just wandered in from the nearest cave. Like he's been living in the wilderness for months. He needed a shave and a haircut, I'll tell you that much."
Mum pulled a face. "Did he smell? He had his hands all over our Marley."
Olivia laughed. "No, he didn't smell. He was clean, and very smart, apart from all that hair. You know," she added thoughtfully, "there was something about him. I'm sure I've seen him before somewhere."
"Maybe he's off the telly?" Mum suggested.
"A telly star in Moreton Cross?" Olivia laughed. "Not likely, is it?"
"What a mystery." Mum shook her head. "And such a shame you never got the chance to ask his name."
I'd had just about enough of their conversation. Talk about missing the point! "Excuse me, what does it matter?" I demanded. "Didn't you hear what she just said? I died! Dead! Brown bread! Your eldest daughter departed from this world. Does that mean nothing to you?"
"Don't be so dramatic, Marley. You came back quick enough," Mum said, with astonishing heartlessness. "And aren't you curious? Surely, you want to know who saved your life?"
Olivia nodded in agreement. "He was a real hero. Proper hunky, too, underneath all that hair."
"You're a married woman," Mum reminded her. "Pity Marley didn't think to ask, though."
"No, well, I was a bit busy at the time," I said pointedly. "You know, what with dying and everything."
"How embarrassing." Mum shook her head. "Thank God you survived. What would I have told the neighbours? Of all the ways to peg it, that would have been the very worst."
"Choking on a peppermint penis!" Olivia giggled. "Trust you, Marley. You were supposed to suck it, not take a bloody big bite out of it."
"Pity any bloke you end up with." Mum shuddered. "No wonder you're single. Still."
I could hardly believe it. Not only was my demise being talked about in a breathtakingly cavalier fashion, but I was being blamed for the cause of my death! "You do realise what just happened to me? I died, people! Died!"
Olivia leaned forward, her eyes wide. "What did you see?"
"See?" I shrugged, bemused. "Stars, mostly. I think that was just before I passed out."
"But didn't you see anything else? I mean, come on. You'd actually stopped breathing. You were dead. So, did you see—you know—heaven?"
"Or the other place," Mum added, folding her arms. "Did you see any flames? Hear any screams? Meet a bloke dressed in red, carrying a pitchfork?"
"Oh, well, thanks very much! Is that what you think of your eldest daughter?"
"Well," she said, sounding thoughtful, "you can be a bit selfish, after all."
"Pardon?"
"And self-centred," added Olivia. "Think the whole world revolves around you."
"And materialistic," Mum continued. "You do seem obsessed with possessions. You know, buying things. How many pairs of shoes do you need?"
"That's charming."
"And two-faced."
"Two faced?" I spluttered. "How can you say that?"
"Easily. Think of Great Uncle Charles."
"He hasn't got anyone else." I felt a bit uncomfortable. "I know he's mean and grumpy, and tight as a gnat's bum, but he's lonely and sad, and we should make the effort to see him. It's hardly my fault he's also loaded, and we're his only relatives."
"There you go," Mum said, triumphantly. "Two faced and materialistic. Don't tell me you'd still visit him if he was skint, because we both know you wouldn't go anywhere near him."
I bit down a response. It was all very unfair.
"You're quite vain, too." Olivia settled back in her chair again. "You can't pass a mirror without checking your reflection."
"And snobbish," Mum said, obviously getting into her stride.
"I am not snobbish!"
"I beg to differ," Mum said firmly. "You look down on other people. You're quite superior."
"I am not!"
"Yes, you are," said Olivia. "You look down on me for working in the factory, for a start."
"Well, come on," I said, "I mean, the production line in a factory! You passed exams. You had a good job. Until you had children, I mean. Now working in a sweet factory seems to be enough for you. Why?"
"You work in that factory, too," she reminded me.
"In the office. That's quite different. I'm a PA, remember! You wouldn't catch me in one of those daft hats, standing on the factory floor all day. I can't understand how you could settle for that."
"Maybe because, unlike you, a career isn't the most important thing to me."
"It's only important to her because she can't find a man," Mum said.
Had I travelled back to nineteen-fifty? "I've had boyfriends!" I glared at them. "Just because I don't mention them—"
"You have not! I can't remember a single boyfriend. No man would be good enough for you, let's face it," Olivia said. "And that's your problem in a nutshell, Marley. Nothing is ever good enough for you. This house, this village, your job, men, your family. You always want more."
I opened my mouth to protest, but somehow the words died in my throat before I could get them out. Was that what they thought of me? I wanted to defend myself, but I knew the conversation could take me to places I had no wish to revisit. "There's nothing wrong with a woman wanting a career more than she wants a man," I managed eventually. "Just because I want to better myself, it's hardly a crime."
"No. It's not a crime." Mum's tone plainly showed that it was hardly something to be proud of, either—at least, in her book.
It was on the tip of my tongue to point out that marriage was hardly something that had worked out for her, and that she, of all people, should be encouraging her daughters to build a life independent of any man, but I didn't. I could never hurt her like that, even if she was pushing me to the limits of my patience.
The fact was, they didn't understand, and how could I make them understand, without stirring up painful memories and leading us down a path we'd avoided for a long time? I couldn't, and I wouldn't, anyway. They weren't the only ones who would be hurt, and I'd had a rough enough twenty-four hours, thank you very much.
"I reckon if you found the right bloke, you'd think differently," Olivia said. "What a shame you didn't get the opportunity to find out who your guardian angel was."
"Well, yes, but only because I would have liked to thank him." He'd practically broken my ribs, according to Sadie, giving me repeated abdominal thrusts, until the offending piece of penis had finally dislodged from my throat.
"Thank him! I'd have liked to snog him," Olivia said, her eyes twinkling. "If he'd had a shave first, that is. Can't be doing with beards. Even so, his eyes were absolutely delish. Mind you, he looked pretty horrified at what was going on in the pub before you croaked it. I saw him sitting at a table nearby, and the expression on his face! What?" she demanded, as Mum raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't eyeing him up. Just people-watching, that's all."
I wasn't surprised my rescuer had looked horrified. Sadie—another factory worker—had gone all-out to have a hen night to remember, insisting we all wore matching T-shirts bearing her name and a rather lewd photograph, while she donned a bridal veil and tiara, and hung an L plate over her ample chest. I couldn't imagine who she thought she was fooling. Sadie Black needed no L plate when it came to her nuptials, that was certain.
I hadn't even wanted to attend the stupid hen night. Getting plastered with a bunch of raucous girls in the tackiest pub in the village was hardly my idea of fun. The peppermint penises—or was it penii?—had been the final straw. I'd refused one at first, as, frankly, I thought them quite disgusting, but then a couple of the girls began to chant suck it at me, and the mob mentality took over, with the others joining in, their voices increasing in volume, until I was so desperate to shut them up that I'd pulled the wrapper off and shoved the offending item in my mouth. The bite had been a reflex action, and I still wasn't sure how I'd managed to choke on the chunk I'd bitten off. It was all a horrible blur of panic and noise, which was probably a good thing, and then blackness had descended.
The next thing I remembered was opening my own eyes to gaze into the dark ones of my saviour. I remembered him reaching out and pushing a strand of my hair away from my forehead, and I remembered hearing him say, "It's okay. You'll be fine now," or words to that effect. Most of all, though, I remembered the feeling he'd invoked in me. All my panic had vanished for that moment. I'd felt … safe. Why, I couldn't say.
Then Sadie's infamous cleavage had loomed into view and ruined everything.
"I didn't really see him properly," I said regretfully. Some handsome hunk had had his arms around me, and I'd been too busy dying to notice. How typical was that?
"He probably wouldn't have been good enough for you, even if you had," Olivia said. "So, no information on the other side, then? No glimpse of heaven?"
I shivered. A glimpse of heaven? For a moment, I'd thought that was exactly where I was.
When I was a kid, my grandparents had bought me a book, retelling the New Testament stories in language that children could understand. And the truth was, when I'd opened my eyes, finally, after returning to the land of the living, I'd thought for a moment that I was looking into the face of Jesus himself. He was just like the pictures in that book—not that I'd been fully aware of him, to be honest. It was more of an impression of raven curls, almost to his shoulders, and a full black beard, but there was something else. What was it? Frustratingly, it was all a blur, but I remembered a feeling of .... What? Familiarity. That was it. There was something familiar and reassuring, and so, so beautiful about him. It had felt like coming home.
I mentally shook myself. What was I thinking? Maybe I'd had oxygen deprivation, and it had affected my brain. "No glimpse of heaven," I said firmly. "Just Sadie Black's quivering bosom. Very traumatic."
Olivia pulled a face. "How disappointing." She glanced at her watch and heaved a sigh. "I'd better be going. I've abandoned my family for long enough."
"Yeah, you have," I said, rather grumpily. I'd been through a terrible experience, and where was the sympathy? "David will be wondering where you are. That Sunday dinner won't cook itself, you know."
"You're terribly ungrateful. I was up half the night, waiting at the A&E for you to be checked over. Don't know why I bother. Anyway," Olivia added, "you can mock, but I'm going home to my nice little house, the man who loves me, and three gorgeous kids. You, meanwhile, will be spending the afternoon watching telly with your mother. No offence, Mum."
"I'm not staying here," I admitted. "I only popped round for an hour."
"Oh?" Mum tutted. "Well, you could have warned me. When you said you'd be coming round this afternoon, I assumed you'd be staying. I've bought two microwave lamb platters for our dinner. If I'd known you were going out, I could have saved myself three quid."
I suppressed a shudder. "As much as it pains me to miss out on such culinary delights, I'm going to visit Great Uncle Charles, so you can save mine and have it yourself during the week." What a treat for her. Two cardboard-tasting meals in one week.
As Mum and Olivia exchanged knowing glances, I tried to quell my irritation. "I haven't been for ten days. He's all alone in the world! I can't see either of you offering to visit him."
"Too right!" Olivia pulled a face. "I can just about manage Christmas and his birthday. And since it's almost December, I'll have the dubious pleasure of his company soon enough, thanks."
"Well, then, don't blame me when he leaves me everything in his will," I said, stung.
"You see?" Mum and Olivia flashed me smug grins. "Two-faced and materialistic."
I was about to protest, but bit down on the words. Let them think what they liked.
Besides, I had a feeling they'd regret they weren't a bit more like me, when Great Uncle Charles finally shuffled off the mortal coil.