Everly

My life at Kingsley Manor settled into an easy routine. I woke up curled in Mason’s arms, usually after a long and passionate night of sex, and we kissed easily as the bright sunlight cascaded into the room. As September eased into October, Savannah and I spent more time outside, playing hide-and-seek and picnicking in the garden while Mason worked in his office. I knew temperatures would soon fall and the beautiful green hills would be covered in a fine layer of snow, so it was important that Savannah and I stretch our legs in the fresh air whenever she wasn’t studying with her tutor.

As the weeks passed, I fell a little more in love with everyone at Kingsley. But as the air turned crisp and the leaves began to change, my anxiety creeped in. I was set to leave in just six weeks, and I still hadn’t told Mason the one thing that'd been consuming my brain. The nights spent with his hands on me only served to fuel my worry. My insecurity took over, convincing me that he wouldn’t want me once he learned what I was hiding. Once he knew the truth.

My life had gone from a fairytale to a nightmare because of one not-so-small secret. I glanced at the Christmas catalogue on the counter, with a roaring fire and overdressed tree gracing the cover, as tears hovered behind my eyelids. I would never be here to see Kingsley at Christmastime. I would never see the huge tree Mrs. Potts said Mason put up every year, would miss the festive scents of cinnamon and cardamom haunting the halls.

Kingsley at Christmas would be magic, and I would miss it all.

I refocused on the chilled dough, making sure the consistency was right before I rolled it out and placed it into the pie pan. Mrs. Potts had taught me how to make Mason’s favorite strawberry rhubarb pie, and I was making it for us tonight.

Savannah was spending the night with a friend in the village, and Mrs. Potts had the night off. It was just Mason and me, and I sensed it was time to tell him. Time to shatter his dreams. Time to reveal I wasn’t the perfect, untarnished flower he thought I was.

I frowned before dumping the sweet concoction of strawberries and rhubarb into the pie. Tears pricked my eyelids as I worked on cutting elegant latticework into the crust before bending to place the pie into the oven. Soon the house would smell of love and family, comfort and home, but the secret on my lips threatened to tarnish it all.

“I can’t wait to taste the fruits of your labor,” Mason said behind me as he snaked his arms around my waist. He nipped the edge of my ear.

I nodded, barely containing the emotions welling in me. “Hopefully it’s good.”

“It will be. Nothing you could make could be bad. Plus that’s my favorite, so no ruining it for me.”

“Don’t be so sure of that, I have a way of ruining everything. What Englishman likes strawberry-rhubarb anyway? Isn’t that a strictly American thing?”

Mason spun me in his arms, his concerned eyes catching mine and refusing to let go. “My mother was American.”

With his words, a bubble inside me popped and my tears spilled over.

“Hey, hey, what’s the matter, kitten?” His hands were on my face, comforting me, loving me, making shame burn like lava in my esophagus.

“I’m not everything you think I am. I’ve been meaning to tell you, trying to work up the courage, but everything about you is just so perfect…”

Real fear lodged in his beautiful blue irises. “Everly, Christ, tell me what’s wrong? What can I do?”

I leaned against the counter, strength seeping from my body. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done this.”

I bolted from his hands, left the kitchen, and ran straight up the stairs. I wound up in his room, pulling my clothing from the drawers, where he’d so carefully placed it weeks ago, and shoving it into my duffel.

“Everly!” Mason barreled into the room, the door swinging on the hinges. “What the fuck is wrong?” He landed on his knees at my feet, his hands halting my own from shoving any more clothing into my bag.

“I shouldn’t have led you on like I did. I thought we could be… I thought maybe this was… I’m wrong for you, Mason. You don’t know it, but I am. I’m not worthy, I can’t give you the things you need.” I crumpled, tears streaming down my cheeks in violent torrents. I felt so worthless, so dishonest, so inadequate.

“Everly Grayson.” He lifted me into his arms, his hand working at my neck and into my hair. “Look at me.”

I sucked in a breath and did as I was told. My childish emotions may have overtaken me for the moment, but I had to be strong for this next part.

“Now tell me what the fuck just happened. I don’t know how to fix it if you don’t tell me.” He caught my chin, forcing my eyes to his.

I fell more in love with him at the moment, and I knew walking away would be that much harder. So instead, I shattered every dream he had and pulled off the Band-Aid.

“When I was sixteen, I was in a car accident. Some stupid texting teenager drove over the center line, and I just went head first…” I shook my head. The flashes of memory that remained were still too powerful to conjure. “I had to have surgery. There was so much scar tissue…” Tears forced their way down my face again. “I'm sorry, but I can’t have babies.”

His face turning a sickly shade of white before his eyes scrunched close. I swore I heard his heart shatter in that moment.

The one thing he wanted, the one thing he loved, the one thing that mattered most to him was family. I couldn’t give him that.

“Everly…”

“I should have told you. I should have told you that first night, but it was all so perfect. I couldn’t ruin it. I was selfish. I wanted to be an au pair because I love kids so much, and then I met Savannah, and she was so perfect. You were so perfect. Your life is so perfect, and here I am, broken and flawed. I’m so, so sorry.”

“Everly, no—” He shook his head, pain etched on his face.

“Mason—”

“Why couldn’t you tell me? Nothing between us! Nothing! There were so many opportunities, and…” His eyes strained to meet mine. “I’m so sorry.”

He wrapped me in his arms, tucked my head onto his shoulder, and held me while my shoulders heaved and I sobbed. I emptied all of my anxiety into him, letting him comfort me as he always did, taking from him like I’d been doing from the start.

I whimpered, swiping at my tears. “I should have told you. I can't bear that I didn’t. I can’t be what you need. I’m not what you want. I think I should just leave.” I finally whimpered, swiping at my tears.

“Not a chance.” He held me a little tighter.

“Mason, I won’t make you stay with me out of obligation. You can even have the earrings back. I don't deserve them.”

“Like hell you don’t. You deserve them and every piece of my heart. I still mean the things I said to you, Everly. This doesn’t change that. Christ, how could you think this would turn my feelings for you? I don’t love you for your ability to give me offspring. I love you because you make me so fucking happy I’m afraid I’ll never know happiness again if I let you walk out that door.”

I tried to extract myself from his arms. “You don’t have to say that. Just please let me do the right thing and go.” I tried to extract myself from his arms.

“Go? Just leave? Leave us? Leave my little girl, who is begging to call you Mummy? Leave me? The man you’ve shared a bed with since nearly the time you got here? I don’t think so. We’re forever, Everly. I’ll love you until I take my last breath, and even after. You’re a part of my soul. You can’t extract yourself so easily.”

I took comfort in the way he rocked me gently to soothe away my pain. “But you want babies, someone to pass this beautiful home on to. Savannah needs brothers and sisters. You deserve the life you’ve dreamed of, and I won’t be the person that stops you.”

“Having the life I’ve dreamed of isn’t possible without you. Don’t you see that? You are the very thing I’ve been dreaming of. If you leave, you’ll shatter all of us.”

I sat still in his arms, listening to the beat of his strong and steady heart, feeling it sync with my own. His hands went around my back and drew wide figure-eights across my muscles.

“So you see, kitten, you can’t leave. You might as well break my heart into a thousand tiny pieces.”

Another tear tracked down my cheek as I thought of all the incredible things he’d said and done for me, the greatest of all being his love. “I was so scared. You talk about babies, and I want to give you a family. I thought you’d—”

“We have a family, right here. Everyone I need lives under this household. Anything beyond that is ‘just gravy,’” he said in a butchered American accent. “Is that what they say?”

I giggled, swiping at the tracks of my tears before his lips landed on my cheek. He kissed across the angles of my face as I said, “I don’t know who they is, but yes, that’s what they say.”

“Mmm, Americans. I meant Americans, beautiful kitten. You just proved, yet again, that your heart is so big, you put me before yourself.” Mason shoved a hand into his pocket before pulling out yet another small dark box. “I know now, at this moment, more than ever, that you’re the woman for me, Everly Grayson.” He held the box between us, eyes dancing as he opened the lid.

And then my heart burst into a thousand soaring pieces.