April Fool’s Day, Luke appeared early at Jordan’s door, holding flowers and sporting a lopsided grin. The blood drained from her face as she worried about the words that would fall from his lips.

“Hey,” he grinned, “I got these for you.”

“Thanks.” She stepped aside to let him in, “What’s the occasion?”

“Nothing. I thought I’d play an April Fool’s joke on you. I can see by your white face and strained look that it worked spectacularly well.” He plonked himself down on her couch and reached for the remote control.

Rex wagged his tail and jumped onto his chest to resume staring into his face. This was their usual position on a Saturday now, if neither of them had plans. Jordan pushed the door closed and went to find a vase. She put her nose in the flowers and inhaled their scent, and then placed them in the middle of her dining table. She stood, watching Luke and her beloved pet staring into each other’s eyes, shook her head, and took up her own position on the other couch.

“I have to go out at lunchtime.”

“Plans?”

“Hiking with the bank teller.”

“Didn’t you only meet him once for coffee?”

“Yeah, a few weeks ago. I don’t feel like going, but the app says I must.”

“Ahh… the mysterious and all-knowing app. If it says you have to go, then you must, and we won’t even consider that he could be taking you hiking so he can kill you and hide your body. How does he fare on the list?”

“Ticks all the boxes, of course. They all do.” Her voice was miserable, and she flinched when he laughed. “The only thing wrong with him is he asked me not to bring Rex.”

“Everyone ticks all the boxes, except for me. Whadya know.” She threw her cushion at him and focussed on the television. “No dates later tonight?”

“Nope. Richard is away for another two weeks.”

“You two are getting pretty serious, huh?”

“It depends on what you mean by ‘serious.’ We’ve been on a few dates. I’m not too sure if we’re serious or not. He hasn’t mentioned teaming up exclusively, so I guess we’re not that close.”

“You sound disappointed.” He glanced at her, and Rex took the opportunity to lean in and sniff his ear.

“I am, but I’m not sure if I’m disappointed specifically about Richard, or if it’s about the whole thing in general. It’s April, and I’ve only met one decent guy on all of those crappy dates.”

“You still have eight months left—plenty of time. You said, yourself, that the bank guy was nice. Shelly and Boyd had barely met this time last year and now they’re tying the knot.”

“You’re right,” she sighed. She was tired of meeting new people, and the thought of her date later today filled her with dread. She’d been excited initially to go hiking with the drop-dead gorgeous teller from the bank. They’d made their date a month ago, though, and she’d felt a lot more confident then. Now she just wanted to lie on the couch all day and watch movies with Luke.

At eleven o’clock, she dragged herself off the couch and slipped into the shower. She washed her hair and tried to get enthusiastic about meeting Matt again. He’d sent her a couple of texts over the last couple of weeks, but between Richard, him, and George, there was way too much texting going on.

Her phone beeped multiple times a day, and God forbid she should start an actual conversation with more than one of them. It was only a matter of time before she sent the wrong reply to the wrong person. While it would make a funny story for the girls, it was a scenario she’d rather avoid. She got dressed in the bathroom, conscious that Luke was still in her lounge, sprawled on the couch with her dog. Sometimes it felt like he spent more time here than she did.

After digging around in the closet for her hiking boots, Jordan put them on and laced them up tightly. It was warm outside, so she packed a hat and a light raincoat, in case the weather turned. She didn’t know where they were going hiking—he’d only told her to make sure she wore pants that covered her legs. Now that she was dressed and showered, she felt a little more enthusiastic about the outing.

She pulled a small backpack from her cupboard and went to the main room to transfer her belongings into it. Rex looked up at her, and his eyes seemed to accuse her of leaving him. He blinked, though, and went back to watching Luke’s face.

The dog thinks Luke ticks all the boxes. Jeez, don’t even start thinking those thoughts, Jordan.

She and Luke had come to an understanding all those months ago: there was never going to be anything romantic between them.

 

***

 

Two hours into the hike up the hill, Jordan stopped to admire the scenery. Matt had led the way, and they’d climbed and scrambled their way to the top, where he’d assured her there was a spectacular lookout. They’d finally arrived, and it was as breathtaking as he’d promised. The farmland of the surrounding areas stretched as far as the eye could see to their left. If they moved twenty feet or so and looked in the other direction, tall trees made up a heavy forest that seemed to go all the way to the horizon. She was amazed that such diverse scenery was just a few hours’ drive from the city.

They sat on a bench at the lookout, and Jordan pulled a bottle of water from her pack. Matt drank one of his own and handed her a banana, which she gratefully devoured before wrapping the peel in plastic and packing it away to take home. When they had caught their breath, Matt suggested they go down a different way than they’d come up. They set off to pick their way through an unmarked path as he offered her his hand every now and then.

“What do you want to do for our third date?” Matt asked as they followed the path through the trees.

“I’m not sure. Have you ever taken a cooking class? That could be a fun thing to do together.”

“I haven’t, but you’re right: that sounds like fun. I’ll check some out when we get home and let you know.”

“Great. I’ll look forward to it.” The shade from the trees meant Jordan quickly cooled down once they were out of the sun. They’d been walking for hours, now, and she glanced at the sun as it started its descent. Before she could ask Matt if he could check the time on his phone, though, her pants leg snagged on a bush. “Ooh,” she said, “I’m stuck on something sharp.”

Matt doubled back and pulled the fabric of her pants away from the undergrowth. He smiled up at her before he stood. “Lucky you wore long pants—those blackberries can be nasty if they catch your skin.” He stepped away and she glanced down at what had snagged her.

“Blackberries?” she muttered to herself as her eyes searched to see if there was fruit.

She thought back to the supermarket. Raspberries were in season at the moment, so maybe blackberries were, too. Using her pack, she pushed aside a spiky branch, and there she found a huge patch of succulent fruit. She looked up to show Matt, but he was taking a photograph with his camera pointed up into the trees. Not sure if he was photographing a bird, she said nothing, instead leaning in to pick some berries for both of them.

She pulled her shirt out of her pants and made a little basket to put the berries in as she carefully picked them one by one. When she had about twenty fat berries, she quietly walked to where Matt was still taking photographs. She munched on a berry while she waited for him to finish.

He put the camera down and glanced at her with a smile. As he noticed her chewing, however, his face fell and he took a step away. “What are you doing?”

“I picked some berries for us. Here, try one. They’re so sweet.” She held out her hand with a few berries in it as she watched the revulsion spread across his expression. Without warning, he slapped her hand away and the berries flew into the underbrush.

“What are you doing?” he cried. “I’m not eating things from the forest like that. Did you even wash them? Oh my God, you’re eating them!” His over-the-top reaction startled her, and she let her t-shirt sag toward the ground. At the last minute, she realised what she was doing and she pulled it up to save what was left of the fruit.

“I don’t understand. Why are you so upset?”

“Those berries could have anything on them. An animal could have peed on them, for all you know. You shouldn’t eat any fruit or vegetable unless you wash it first.”

“Well, that rule is because farmers use pesticides, which we shouldn’t ingest. These are growing wild, I don’t imagine—”

He raised his hand and staggered away from her, cutting off her sentence. “No, just no. I can’t believe you put that putrid thing into your mouth! Oh my God, that’s so gross.” He glanced back at her as he stalked down the path, and she followed close behind. “I was going to kiss you when we got home, but there’s no way that’s happening, now, I can tell you—at least not until you can clean your teeth.”

She shook her head as she trailed along behind him.

He’s assuming a lot saying he planned to kiss me. Doesn’t he know that I have a say in that, too?

The afternoon had gone from being a pleasant walk in nice company to her looking around, worrying that she might have to run from him at any moment. She considered eating the rest of the berries just to annoy him, but his ridiculous reaction, along with the fact that he’d driven them here today, made her quietly drop them in a pile as they continued their return to the car.

When they reached the carpark, he kept glancing at the front of her shirt, like she was carrying radioactive contamination on her clothes. The big purple stains on her stomach were a constant reminder for him of what she’d done. They drove home in silence, and when he pulled up outside her house, she quickly opened the door.

His hand on her arm stilled her. “I’m sorry this didn’t work out, Jordan.”

“I’m not, Matt. We are two very different people.”

“We are, indeed. I’ll see you around.”

“I don’t think you will, actually. I’ll be changing banks.” With that, she got out and slammed the door without a glance behind her.

 

***

 

“What the hell happened to you?” Luke grabbed her shoulders and took in her unruly appearance and the stains all over her white t-shirt. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Chalk it up to another date with a madman. Let me get a shower, and then I’ll regale you with the details. Please, can you order some dinner?”

His face softened as he watched her retreating figure, and he looked around for his phone to get them some food. Tonight, he’d listen to her story and laugh about it with her. If he heard the wrong words, though, he’d be paying a short visit to his friendly bank teller in the morning. He better not have harmed a hair on her head!

 

***

 

the car pulled into the driveway, Jordan tried to ignore the golden arches glowing at her from across the carpark. Surely this wasn’t where their date was about to take place? She’d waited a whole month for it to come around on the calendar.

“Hungry?” she asked, trying her best to speak in a normal tone.

“Yes! We are having dinner, after all.” George said without a trace of irony. He parked the car and came around to her door as she thought of the theatre tickets she’d passed up with Emily tonight.

Why is the universe testing me like this?

She pasted on a smile and let him take her hand as he ushered her inside. A group of teenagers rushed to the door in front of them, screaming that they were going to order first. Jordan pulled her wrap tighter around her shoulders and wished she’d worn her jeans. With her sparkly dress and high heels, she was wildly overdressed.

They approached the counter, and George turned to her with a wave of his hand. “What would you like? You can have the pick of the stand!” he joked as she glanced at the board flashing up all the possible menu options.

“I’ll have whatever you have. I like everything here.” She grinned at him, expecting him to make some comment, but he smiled happily and turned to place their order.  She moved to a seat in a booth and sighed as the television in the corner blared out the local news.

What am I doing here? Why did I agree to say yes to every stupid invitation this year? I’m going to kill Shelly.

George returned with their meals on a tray, and they each took their items. As Jordan sipped her soft drink, she glanced at an elderly man at a table across the room. He’d spilled his fries onto the floor, and she lifted from her seat to go to help him when she saw him push them across the floor with his shoe. She sat down and watched, fascinated, as he pushed them into a pile under his table and then leaned down to pick them up in one go. He piled them onto his tray, and she expected him to return to the counter to get a fresh pack. Instead, he went back to reading the newspaper and ate the fries one by one from his tray.

Oh my God.

While she’d been watching the old man, George had launched into a discussion about an upcoming case he was working on. A family were taking their relatives to court over their deceased grandfather’s will, and he was spewing out all the confidential details of their appeal as he munched on his burger. She tried to listen, but she wasn’t at all interested in what he was saying. They hadn’t even gotten to know each other any more tonight and he was already telling her things that he should have been keeping private. She ate her burger a little faster, hoping she’d be able to escape soon. After all, how long could you stretch out a dinner date at McDonalds?

The group of rowdy teenagers were laughing and shouting at their table. Two were playing an online game on their phones and swearing loudly every time their character died, while the others were dipping their fries into their ice cream and feeding each other the most disgusting bits. Jordan watched as one of them pulled the pickles from his burger and threw them, so they stuck to the ceiling. They looked to be about sixteen. The restaurant manager soon appeared, informing them that they would have to quiet down or leave. They meekly agreed to be quiet and then promptly started giggling the moment he walked away.

Two tables away, a family sat, having an animated discussion. Their meal was barely touched as the two boys watched their mother spit vitriol about her ex-husband, their father. She was demanding to know why they had told him that she’d been away for the weekend, while the youngest sat with tears in his eyes. For every answer they gave, she had three more reasons why they were wrong and why her privacy was so important to her. Around the time she started telling them that they would be changing schools, as their father wasn’t paying enough maintenance, Jordan snapped her head back to George, who was still droning on about appellate law. He’d barely taken a breath and hadn’t noticed her examining the other patrons around her.

He finished the last bite of his burger and cleared away their rubbish and tray. She sighed, relieved that they could leave now, but he returned to the table and took her hands in his, staring deeply into her eyes and making her giggle at her own discomfort.

“So, you’ll drop me home, now?”

“What? No, I thought we could talk. You know, get to know each other.” He glanced at his watch and frowned. “I do need to make one stop on the way home, though. I’m due there around ten, which gives us about fifteen minutes before we need to leave.” He turned his attention to her as she marvelled at him making appointments when he’d asked her out on a date.

“I’m ready to go now, if you want to drop me off first? That way, you’ll be free the rest of the night.”

“No, the meeting is just in the next suburb. Want dessert while we wait?”

How can I encourage him to take me home first without seeming like a cow?

“Umm… okay. How about an ice cream—one of those little ones?”

“Sure thing,” he said, and he grinned as he swaggered up to the counter.

When they were finished eating, it was almost ten, and George led the way to the car. The blue Mustang was absolutely beautiful, but right now Jordan cursed it as she clipped up her belt—this car was the reason she was here tonight. Andrea had insisted it was a sign that Shelly’s cousin could be better than the others.

How wrong could she have been?

“So, where are we going?”

“Well, I don’t want you to think I’m weird, but I’ve actually sold this car. Since I was going to be in the neighbourhood with you, I agreed to do the changeover tonight. I’ll sell it and then we’ll get a taxi home.”

Her eyes widened, and she looked at him sideways. Surprise didn’t even cover it; her mouth opened, but no words came out. She was fast being turned off the idea of marrying any man, if this is how they all behaved. “Couldn’t you have done it during the day, or later? Did you have to bring me along?”

“Sorry. I’m too busy during the day with work and everything.” He started the car and pulled up an address in his GPS. “It’ll only take a few minutes, and then we can kick on.”

There’ll be no bloody kicking on!

Thinking murderous thoughts, Jordan kept her head turned to the window for the entire journey. The streets and houses slipped by unnoticed as she seethed about him dragging her to a stupid appointment and expecting them to still be talking afterward. They drove into an industrial area, and as they pulled up next to a black SUV, she suddenly noticed that there were no streetlights in this section. It was dark, and all her senses were shouting at her that this was wrong. Who sold a car late at night in a darkened part of the city to strangers?

Her head snapped around. “What the hell are we doing here, George?”

“Shhh… a few minutes and we’ll be safely on our way home.”

“Fuck.” The words slipped out of her mouth as he got out of the car and went to stand in front of the headlights he’d left on.

Like a scene straight out of a big-budget gangster film, two men got out of the black car. As they came to stand in the glare of the headlights, Jordan could see they both wore black suits—well-cut black suits. One of them—the driver—was larger than the other, and he bent down and peered at her as she sat in the passenger seat.

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

He motioned with his arm and George came around to her side of the car and opened the door. She glared up at him, her eyes full of fear, and he held out his hand. “They want you to get out.”

“What? Why?”

“They like to know there’s no one hiding in the car.”

“What does that fucking mean?” He grabbed her hand and she resisted for a moment before gathering her nerve and stepping from the car. She held her handbag tightly in front of her, so no one could see that her hands were shaking. George led her to the front of the car, and she stopped at the corner of the bonnet, refusing to take another step forward. He shrugged and let her stand there as he returned to the front.

The driver of the SUV looked her up and down in her sparkly party dress and snorted. “Name,” he growled, and Jordan looked helplessly at George.

“Her name is Megan Coppadge.” George spoke for her, as she remained silent.

The driver examined her more closely, then he looked at George and barked out two words, “She drives.”

George raised his hands in front of him. “Whatever you want, man, but she doesn’t have a driver’s licence. It’s probably better if we sit in the back.”

“That true?” The giant was looking at her again.

“Yes,” she stammered, “I never finished my lessons.” She smiled at him, hoping she was putting on a good act of looking pretty and vacant—playing dumb seemed to be the safest way forward.

He looked at her for a moment as he narrowed his eyes, and her thoughts turned to how she’d felt the first time she had ever gotten behind the wheel of a car. If he planned to test her, she’d need to be convincing. This night was becoming scarier by the moment.

His eyes snapped closed, and when he opened them, he’d lost interest in her. He addressed George again, “Fine. Get in the back. Not a word out of either of you.” Jordan’s eyes widened as George ushered her into the rear of the car he’d already told her he was selling. She had no idea what was going on, but she knew it was bad. Whatever he was involved in was serious, and now she was involved, too.

The doors closed, and George squeezed her hand in the darkness. She wanted to punch him in the face, but she was too terrified to move or make a sound. She squeezed his hand tightly and imagined the black eye she’d give him if they managed to get out of this alive.

The other car pulled out onto the street, and they followed close behind. The giant was driving the Mustang, and he didn’t say a word to them as he skilfully followed the car in front. After a few minutes, they turned into another darkened street. Halfway down the street, they slowed, and she watched as a garage door rose to their right. Once it was high enough for the SUV to slip under, both cars entered and slowly drove down an inclined driveway. Jordan turned to look as the garage door slid silently closed behind them, and her stomach rolled over in the dark. This was worse than she could have imagined.

The darkness gave way to a large garage brightly lit from overhead fluorescents. Everywhere Jordan looked, there were expensive cars: BMWs, Mercedes, Porsches, and even a Ferrari. They passed a row of classic cars, like the Mustang they were travelling in, and the driver pulled up in front of those and ordered them both out of the car. Jordan pressed herself into the shadows, trying to make herself as unobtrusive as possible—not an easy feat when you’re wearing a black and silver dress and silver shoes made for dancing.

She stared hard at the ground and forced herself not to look up as George was called over to several men standing in a group.

Don’t pee yourself. Look at the ground. Don’t make yourself a problem. Don’t pee yourself. You’re going to get out of this alive. Do not pee yourself!

She kept up a steady trail of chatter in her head, trying to convince herself that this would turn out okay, and she squeezed her eyes shut and tried to block out any sound of their conversation. She couldn’t hear any specific words, anyway, since they were murmuring while they completed their transaction. Someone grabbed her arm, and she almost screamed as she expected to see the tall driver dragging her to her death.

It was only George, though, with a tight warning look on his face. He tugged her toward a doorway to her left, and she kept her eyes forward as she followed him, desperate to get out of this place in one piece.

When they burst out into the street, George quickly called a taxi as they stood in the shadows. He tried to apologise to her, but she was so angry and scared that she ignored every word.

“Please stop talking. I just want to get home. I thought you were much nicer than this when we met at Shelly’s party.”

“Are you sure I can’t take you for a drink to apologise?”

“Nope. No, thank you. I want to get home, lock the front door, and feel safe again. This was a really silly place for you to bring me.”

“I didn’t bring you here—they did.” He had the nerve to try to defend himself.

“You,” she raised her voice as she turned on him, “dragged me into all of this and gave them a fake name for me, too. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you. You are one hundred percent responsible for everything that happened tonight. I hope it was worth risking our lives for.”

“Oh, it was.” He grinned and patted his jacket pocket, which now sported a suspicious bulge. “Hence my invitation to kick on tonight. We can make it memorable, if you’ll stick with me. I was once in love with a woman named Megan Coppadge, by the way. It was a compliment that I chose that name for you.”

She snorted and turned away as the lights from the taxi lit up the end of the street. “You’re fucking insane. I have enough memories of this night to last me a lifetime. I guarantee that none of my future memories will include you.”

Not even the temptation of officially being related to Shelly would convince her to see George again.