Lost & Found

Rose shrugged. “She sounded pretty serious about this one. Just the fact that she wanted to make the journey with him out here to meet you made me stop and make sure the sky wasn’t falling.”

“The only reason she wants to bring him out here is because she probably wants to break up with him. She knows seeing her freak of a daughter will be enough to send him running. It’s worked before. Makes it easier on her if they just run away screaming.” I leaned into the counter and looked out the window. I didn’t want Mom there. Willow Springs was my special place. A place where I didn’t have to walk on egg shells around her. A place where some “new guy” didn’t take automatic priority over her flesh and blood. I didn’t want to taint what small sliver of peace I’d found with the wars and battles that would surely come if we were under the same roof.

“Please stop calling yourself that, Rowen,” Rose said in as firm a voice as I’d ever heard her use. “You’re no more a freak than I am. You’re just as much a freak as I am, too. Don’t let some ignorant name you’ve heard directed your way define you. You define you.” She pressed her finger into my face. “Stop playing the victim and live your life.”

I think if she’d just slapped me across the face, I wouldn’t have been as shocked. Rose was such a calm soul that seeing her so fired up was a bit unnerving.

“Those are some powerful words,” I said slowly.

“That’s because they’re true.” Rose looked at me and waited. She wouldn’t let me out of the kitchen until she’d pounded it into me.

“I’ll think them over.” I reached for the handle of the cooler. Uncomfortable conversations were something I tried to avoid at all costs.

“Promise you will.”

To argue would have been pointless. Rose may be small, but she was mighty. “I promise.”

“Good,” she said, and her whole body relaxed. “Now,”—she grabbed the other handle—“let’s get this thing loaded up before those boys keel over from starvation.”

“Yeah, we wouldn’t want them to kill a cow and start roasting it over a fire.”

“No, we wouldn’t,” Rose said around a chuckle.

Rose and I managed to wrangle that cooler out of the kitchen, out the back door, and down the stairs before we had to set it down and take a break. Last week, I couldn’t have helped carry that thing five feet. Just went to show how strong one got working around a ranch. I also knew my muscles weren’t the only things getting stronger.

Everything about me was getting stronger.

“What car do you want to take?” Rose asked. Her breathing wasn’t even labored like mine. “The Suburban or Neil’s truck?”

I studied them and made a face. The family Suburban was almost as long as a school bus, and Neil’s truck was an extended cab monster truck. Then another vehicle caught my attention.

“Why don’t I take Old Bessie?” I said. “It’s the only one I think I have a decent shot of seeing over the steering wheel without having to prop a phone book under my butt.”

Rose studied the truck with me and gave a good laugh. “Old Bessie it is then. Jesse would be happy to know someone on this ranch other than him isn’t too embarrassed to drive it.”

We lifted the cooler again and headed for Old Bessie. “I didn’t say I wasn’t embarrassed to drive that thing. I’m just choosing the lesser of two embarrassing options.” Rose lowered the tailgate, and we swung the cooler up into the bed. I grunted like it weighed a ton. Rose smiled like it was light as a feather. “Drive Old Bessie or sit propped up on a phone book . . .” I lifted both hands and weighed the options. “Kind of a tough call.”

“Well, enjoy the ride and make sure to wash your hands when you’re done driving that thing. Lord only knows what could be growing in it.” Rose lifted the tailgate and wiped her hands off on her pants. “You got your phone in case you get turned around?”

I patted my jeans’ pocket.

“You shouldn’t have a problem. Just follow that windy dirt road until you see a bunch of cattle and guys on horseback.”

“I think I can handle that.” I came around the truck and opened the car door. It made a whiny, screeching sound. I leapt up into the driver’s seat and found I could see over the steering wheel. Barely, but I could. “Oops. I need keys.”

“They’re in the ignition,” Rose said.

Yep. Sure enough. I guess no one would want to steal Old Bessie anyways. Turning them over, the engine fired to life. When I say fired, I mean I expected a real life, raging fire to erupt from the hood.

“See you later. If I’m not back in a few hours, send the search party.” I waved at Rose before closing the door and heading out of the driveway.

Surprisingly, Old Bessie drove fairly smoothly for a truck in its condition. And that truck had something no other truck had: Jesse’s smell overpowering the cab.

I was about a couple miles down the bumpy dirt road when I reached for the CD player. I hit play without thinking, and that Johnny Cash character Jesse was such a fan of started singing in that deep, dark voice of his about rings and fires.

Actually, it was pretty good. It could have been badass good if the country twang about it could be removed. The lyrics were like poetry, and Johnny Cash’s voice was like nothing I’d heard before. When the CD moved on to the next song, I realized that, in a little over a week, I’d gone from hating-with-a-capital-H country music to tolerating, and maybe, just maybe, appreciating it.

What. In. The. Hell. was happening to me?

I didn’t know yet, but I did know the changes taking place inside and outside of me were good ones. They were changes to be proud of, so I would just keep keeping on. I didn’t need to have all the answers to my questions yet.

After a few more miles, I found what I was looking for. Even from a good football field length away, I made out which of the guys on horseback was Jesse. The white tee and straw hat were a dead giveaway, but it wasn’t just that. It was almost like I was . . . pulled to him. Almost like he was what my eyes were trained to find. Man, it was a cheesy thing to think, but Jesse was the only one I saw out there.

The cattle were stopped and grazing in the large field, and the riders just trotted around them, checking them over. A few of the hands must have noticed the truck because one shouted over at Jesse on the far end of the field. Everyone glanced over before steering their horses toward the truck. Those cowboys took their mealtimes seriously.

I parked Old Bessie under a large shade tree and jumped out. I checked my cell phone and, no big surprise, there was no reception In-the-Middle-of-Nowhere. If I’d gotten lost, Rose wouldn’t have been a simple phone call away.

Most of the guys’ horses trotted over. Jesse’s horse galloped. If nothing said “obvious” like a smiling guy riding his horse balls-to-the-walls toward an equally smiling girl, I didn’t know what did.

When he and his horse were so close I could make out the color of the horse’s eyes, Jesse pulled back on the reins. His horse came to an immediate stop. So immediate, a cloud of dust erupted from his hooves.

I smirked up at Jesse. The rest of the guys weren’t even close. “Hungry?” I asked, shielding my eyes as I looked up at him. Jesse made “cowboy” look good like no other, but him on a horse . . . I couldn’t imagine anything sexier.

He flashed me a knowing smile. “Like you wouldn’t believe. Especially after seeing you pull up in my sweet ride.” He winked before swinging his leg around and dismounting. He came toward me, horse in tow, and didn’t stop until his body was almost against mine.

“I missed you today,” he said as his eyes scanned my face. “I missed touching you.” Jesse’s hand dropped to my hip, and the breath I’d been holding rushed out. “I missed talking to you.”

My eyes closed for a moment when his thumb drew circles into my side. Jesse’s touch was hard to explain, but that didn’t mean I enjoyed it any less. When my eyes reopened, I noticed a few bobbing heads over Jesse’s shoulder getting closer.

“Cowboys on the horizon,” I said before stepping back. Jesse’s hand fell from my side, but I still felt it there. I swung around the truck and opened the tailgate before taking the cooler lid off. I heard Jesse’s footsteps and his horse’s hoofsteps follow me.

“Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?” I could tell from his tone he was teasing, but it was a delicate topic for me.

“No,” I replied instantly. “I’m embarrassed for you to be seen with me.”

Jesse’s eyebrows came together. “Well, that makes a whole lot of no sense.”

“It makes a whole hell of a lot of sense,” I said, giving his chest a gentle shove, “and you know it.”

He studied me for another moment with a furrowed brow before his expression cleared. “What are you doing right now?”

I swung my arms toward the cooler. “Serving lunch.”

“These guys know how to reach in and grab a few sandwiches,” Jesse said, tilting his head back at the guys dismounting behind him. “So it looks like you’re on break.”

“And what do you have planned for my break?” I crossed my arms. “You want to hide behind the tree and make out the rest of the afternoon?”

Jesse’s dimples made their appearance. “That sounds nice. Really nice,” he said, smiling at the tree behind me. “But I was thinking I could take you for a ride.”

“Oh, really?” I crossed my arms tighter.

Jesse lifted the reins in his hand. “A horse ride,” he said in an amused tone. “But if you’ve got another idea, I think I could be persuaded.”

I cleared my throat and tried to ignore the thick band tightening around my stomach. “A horseback ride sounds nice.”

“It doesn’t sound all that nice now that you’ve got me thinking of something else.”

That comment earned him a soft elbow to his hard stomach. I walked around the side of his horse and wondered about how to go about it. Jesse made it seem so easy. His movements were seamless whenever he got on or off of a horse.

Inspecting the saddle and all its gadgetry, it didn’t look anything close to easy or seamless.

“Wait,” Jesse said, coming up behind me. “Don’t try to get up on Sunny unless I’m already in the saddle.”

Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t have. I might as well have tried to climb Everest.

“So this is Sunny?”

“This is Sunny boy,” Jesse answered, patting the giant horse’s muscled neck.

Sunny was white with big, black patches scattered over him. His mane and tail were streaked black and white, and he had one blue eye and one brown. He was beautiful in a very . . . odd type of way.

Jesse stepped in front of Sunny and ran his palm down the horse’s face. “Hey, boy, this is Rowen. We’re going to go for a little ride and I want you to be a good boy. She’s special to me.” His eyes shifted to mine when he said the last part.