Lost & Found

Special? Special? No one had called me special once in my entire life. At least not in the way Jesse had meant it.

Sunny’s big head flicked into the air a few times before Jesse came back toward me. In yet another seamless move, Jesse swung up on Sunny before I even noticed his foot was in the stirrup. He held his hand out and waited.

“Come on, Rowen. You’ll be fine. Besides, if he didn’t like you, you couldn’t be as close to him as you are now.” Jesse reached his hand toward me again.

I glanced over at the truck. The guys were already tossing around sandwiches and water bottles. A few of them looked as though they’d already finished their first ones. Lunch was served. Time to live a little.

I took Jesse’s hand, and his fingers wove through mine. “My life and limbs are in your hands, Cowboy,” I said.

Jesse chuckled. “Put your left foot in the stirrup.”

I inhaled and followed his instructions.

He chuckled louder. “Your other left.”

I was off to a great start. I did, contrary to appearances, know left from right. Dropping my right foot back down, I tried again.

“Okay, good. Now just step up, keep your weight in the stirrup, and swing your right leg up and over Sunny.”

“I’m sure it’s nowhere near as easy as you make it sound,” I said, gripping onto his hand like it was a life ring.

“It’s not,” he said. “It’s easier.”

I narrowed my eyes at him which only made his smile widen. I felt everyone’s eyes on me. I was sure I was quite the spectacle. After blowing out a breath, I tightened my hold on Jesse’s hand and got after it.

Jesse’s bicep flexed as he curled his arm up, and once I found myself magically on top of Sunny, I knew it had more to do with his effort than my own.

“You did it,” Jesse said, looking over his shoulder at me.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” I said as I shifted in the saddle. The thing was really only made for one backside, but I couldn’t exactly complain. The front of my body was pressed tight into the back of his. The apex of my legs was pressed into that perfect butt of his, and when Jesse shifted in the saddle, I suddenly became very aware of the spot below my belly button.

“You want to back out of this adventure?” he asked, sounding like even if I wanted to, he wouldn’t let me.

“I think it’s a little late for that,” I replied, feeling every eye on me. I hoped no one could hear the way my heart pounded, or noticed the pick up in my breathing. I’d never felt like such an open book before. Usually I controlled my emotions and the physical reactions accompanying them, but with Jesse, I could do neither. The way I felt about him wouldn’t allow me to hide it.

“Wrap your arms around me and hold on tight,” he said, grabbing one of my arms to wind around his torso. We hadn’t taken one step and I already loved horseback riding. “And don’t forget to enjoy the ride.”

I wound my other arm around Jesse’s middle and clasped my hands together. “If I had a dollar for every time a guy gave me that line . . .”

It took a moment for that to sink in since Jesse’s head wasn’t as sick and twisted as mine, but he shook his head and laughed when it did. “I will gladly take you for any and every kind of ride you’ll let me, Rowen.”

Before my stomach had a chance to bottom out, Jesse clucked his tongue, and Sunny lunged forward.

The ride was surprisingly smooth, and I could, literally, feel the wind breaking over my face. Jesse held the reins in one hand and covered mine where they were locked together around his stomach with the other.

Riding through a grassy green field at a breakneck pace while wrapped around Jesse Walker’s body on a warm summer afternoon was the closest I’d come to perfection. It was the closest by a long shot.

I didn’t do perfect. I didn’t believe in it and, up until right then, I hadn’t wanted it either.

My whole life was shifting, like I was experiencing my own personal earthquake. I felt the plates shifting and rearranging below the surface. I felt the fire and heat molding and shaping them. I felt change, whether I wanted it or not. It was happening, and I might as well embrace it.

So while my instinct was to push someone away if they tried getting too close, I rested my head on Jesse’s back and breathed in as much of him as I could. It was a powerful moment and over much too soon.

Jesse pulled back on the reins a few minutes later as we approached a fast-moving stream.

“Still back there?” Jesse’s voice was light, not a worry in the world.

“You feel that death grip around your body?” I loosened my hold just barely. We might have stopped moving, but I was still five feet from the ground on a horse.

“I’m feeling it,” he said. “I’m feeling a lot more than just a death grip around my body, though.” Jesse’s back did a little wiggle to prove his point. Hello, Jesse’s back, meet Rowen’s front.

“So much for all those sweet county boy manners I thought you had,” I said, pinching his side.

“It’s a tough act to keep up with you around.” He looked over his shoulder and winked. In yet another super cowboy move, Jesse swung his leg up and over Sunny’s neck before hopping off. “Are you planning on staying up there all day?”

“I’m thinking about it,” I said, taking in the landscape. Nature as far as the eye could see was growing on me. “Why? Do you have any other suggestions?”

Jesse’s eyes gleamed. “One or two.”

“In that case . . .” I planted my foot in the stirrup and swung my other leg around Sunny’s backside. By nothing short of a miracle, I managed to get off of that horse without falling on my duff.

“Impressive,” Jesse said with a nod as I dusted off my hands. “You must have an amazing teacher.”

I lifted a shoulder. “Maybe I’m just a really kick-ass student.”

“Maybe,” he said, coming toward me.

I didn’t step back the way I knew I should. I didn’t step forward the way I wanted to. I stayed where I was and waited for him.

“So, now that you’ve got me out here, wherever here is,” I said, waving at the nameless landscape, “what did you have planned?”

I’d barely finished my question before Jesse’s hand formed around the bend of my waist. With his other hand, he slid his straw hat off and lowered his face until it almost touched mine. Everything inside of me quickened. Jesse’s skin hadn’t touched mine yet, and my body was rushing like a runaway train.

His mouth was so close to mine, I felt his warm breath on my lips when he said, “This.” His lips covered mine for such a brief moment it was more of a tease than a kiss. “And this.” His mouth moved over mine long enough to be in the kissing category. “And this, too.” He separated from me just long enough to get those words out before his lips settled back over mine. That kiss wasn’t a tease; it wasn’t anything close to a tease. It was the kind of kiss a girl would forever measure against. It set the bar for all future kisses. That kiss made me want to do nothing but keep my mouth firmly planted on Jesse’s until the day I died.

The kiss made me moan when his tongue gently touched mine. Even with our mouths combined, I felt Jesse’s smile move into position at my response. He was still smiling when we both came up for air.

“That good, huh?” he said, settling his hat back onto his head while I struggled to fill my lungs.

“That’s some gloat you’ve got going on, Jesse,” I said, circling my finger around his face. “And here I was under the impression you were humble.”

“When a woman moans while a man’s kissing her,”—he lifted an eyebrow—“that’s grounds for a full-on gloat if ever there were grounds.”

“Fine. Take it all in. Yes, your mad kissing skills made me moan. Soak it up and let’s move on.” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh, believe me, I’m soaking it up.”

I crossed my arms and waited a few seconds. “Done soaking?”

Jesse’s dumb smile kept shining until he tapped his wrist where a watch might have been. “And done.”

It was about time.

“What are we going to tell your parents?”

Jesse’s face ironed out. “Wow. You really know how to kill a guy’s soak.”

I waited.

“Are you talking about us?”

“No, I’m talking about me and Sunny.” I motioned toward the resting horse beside me while Jesse’s forehead lined. “Yes,” I said with exasperation. “Yes, I’m talking about us.”

He shrugged. “What do you want to tell them?”

“Nothing yet,” I said. “But we’ll have to tell them eventually. We’re sleeping together, after all.”

“That’s true. We are sleeping together,” Jesse said. “I’m not usually that kind of guy.”

“That’s not what your exes say,” I threw back.

His eyes rolled to the sky.

“No, really. In all seriousness, I like you, Jesse.” I narrowed my eyes as I concentrated on finding the right words. Expressing myself, truthfully, had never come easy. “I don’t want to feel like we’re going behind your family’s backs because I like them, too. But this is all so new to me. So totally different that I just want to take it slow until I figure it out.” I almost gave myself a pat on the back for that whole soul-bearing bit.

“Different?” Jesse tilted his head.

Why did he have to ask every darn question I didn’t want to answer?

I sucked in a deep breath. “You know . . . The whole saying nice things to me, buying me gifts, looking after me, asking me on official dates . . . that’s all very new to me.” I knew how pathetic that sounded—an eighteen-year-old girl who’d “dated” dozens of guys wasn’t used to hearing nice things or getting an occasional rose or something—but it was the truth. I wanted to try to be honest with Jesse. It was the only way, if there even was a way, that we would have a fighting chance. “It’s going to take some getting used to.”

“Is it something you want to get used to?” he asked, almost shyly.

“Yeah,” I said, grabbing his hand. “I think it is.”

“You look really nice, by the way,” he said, examining me with a proud smile.

“You think so?” I gave a quick turn. “This guy I know picked my outfit out.”

“He’s got great taste.” Jesse’s eyes wandered to mine again. “Great taste.”

I tapped my heels together Dorothy-style. “The boots are pretty fantastic, too. And I’m a girl who knows boots.”

“Yes, you do,” he said before grabbing Sunny’s reins and leading him toward the stream. I followed and enjoyed the break in the conversation.

“So, there’s this dance . . . thing.” Jesse cleared his throat. So much for a break in the conversation. “It’s next weekend, and I was thinking . . . Well, I wanted to ask you—”