Mini Shopaholic

‘Exactly!’ I point to the oversize button with trademark Ally Smith crystals. ‘That’s the whole point of the piece, this amazing button. It’s like … a signature.’

‘So you spent a hundred quid on a button.’

God, he’s annoying sometimes.

‘It’s an investment,’ I inform him frostily. ‘I was just saying to Suze, I’ll wear it so many times, it’ll totally pay for itself.’

‘How many would that be? Twice?’

I stare at him with utter indignation.

‘Of course not twice. I’ll probably wear it …’ I think a moment, trying to be absolutely realistic. ‘A hundred times. So each time will cost £1.10. I think I can afford £1.10 for a designer classic of its time, don’t you?’

Luke makes a kind of snorting noise. ‘Becky, have you ever worn anything a hundred times? I’ll count it a success if you wear it once.’

Oh, ha-di-ha.

‘I bet you I’ll wear it a hundred times. At least.’ Determinedly, I shrug off my cardigan and start pulling on the Ally Smith one. ‘You see? I’ve already worn it once.’

I’ll show him. I’ll wear it a thousand times.

‘I must go, Tarquin’s waiting for me.’ Luke shoots Suze a quizzical look. ‘Quite a business you’ve inherited.’

‘Oh, I know,’ says Suze. ‘Poor Tarkie was getting in a state about it so I said, “Ask Luke, he’ll know what to do.”’

‘Well, I’m glad you did.’ Luke has been rifling in his cabinet for some papers. He bangs it shut and heads out again. ‘See you later.’

‘What was that about?’ I say, puzzled. ‘What business?’

‘Oh, it’s this Shetland Shortbread thing,’ says Suze vaguely. ‘It’s quite a big deal, and now it belongs to us …’

Hang on a minute. Rewind.

‘You own Shetland Shortbread?’ I stare at her in amazement. ‘Those red tins you can buy in Waitrose?’

‘Exactly!’ says Suze brightly. ‘It’s really scrummy. They make it on one of the farms.’

I’m flabbergasted. What else does Suze suddenly now own? Chocolate HobNobs? KitKats?

Ooh, that would be cool. I wonder how many free ones she’d get. Maybe … a box a year?

No, that’s ridiculous. It would be at least ten boxes a year, wouldn’t it?

After I’ve shown Suze all my clothes I pop downstairs and make some coffee and check the children are OK. I come back up to find Suze wandering around the cluttered room and picking over my stuff, like she always does. She looks up, holding a pile of old photos which I’ve been meaning to put in albums. ‘Bex, I can’t believe you’re moving out of here at last. It seems like you’ve been here for ever.’

‘It has been for ever. Two whole years!’

‘What did your mum and dad say?’

‘I haven’t told them yet.’ I glance at the door and lower my voice. ‘I think they’ll really miss us when we’re gone. In fact … I’m a bit worried how they’ll take it.’

The truth is, Mum and Dad have got used to having us around. Especially Minnie. Every time one of our house purchases fell through, they were secretly really glad, Mum once told me.

‘God, of course.’ Suze’s face crumples anxiously. ‘They’ll be devastated. Your poor mum will need loads of support. Maybe you can fix up some counselling!’ she adds in sudden inspiration. ‘I bet they have Empty Nest Workshops or something.’

‘I do feel guilty.’ I sigh. ‘But we can’t stay here for ever, can we? I mean, we need our own space.’

‘Of course you do,’ says Suze supportively. ‘Don’t worry, your parents will come to terms with it. So come on, show me the house! What’s it like? What does it need doing to it?’

‘Well, it doesn’t really need anything done to it,’ I confess as I hand her the details. ‘It’s been decorated by a developer.’

‘Eight bedrooms!’ Suze raises her eyebrows. ‘Wow!’

‘I know. It’s amazing! It’s so much bigger inside than it looks. And it’s all been freshly painted and everything. But still, we should put our stamp on it, shouldn’t we?’

‘Oh definitely.’ Suze nods wisely.

Suze is so much more with it than Luke, who, by the way, hasn’t even been inside the place. I told him we needed to put our stamp on it and he said, ‘Why can’t we be happy with someone else’s stamp?’

‘I’ve already made loads of plans,’ I tell her enthusiastically. ‘Like, in the hall I thought we could have a really cool hat stand with a single studded Alexander Wang bag hanging from it. It would make such a statement.’ I scrabble under the bed for the sketch I’ve done and show it to her.