FOUR

On my way back from the laundry mat, I was finding myself humming some songs and tapping my finger on the wheel of the camper. I didn’t know what it was, but those three women made me feel better about my circumstances than I’d felt in a long time.

Quickly that feeling fell back into despair when I turned back into the campground and the reality of work to get the campground looking like the brochure was laid out right in front of me.

I drove my camper into the spot Dottie had assigned me to, though I should get what spot I wanted. Regardless, I was living my worst nightmare and how on earth was I going to pull off a fundraiser and make good on the things that I made sound so amazing?

The thought of a nap sounded good and falling asleep to the TV sounded better. The TV was hidden behind a little panel next to the kitchen on the wall. I pushed the panel door back and pulled the kitchen table out from the wall. I was too tired to move and pull anything else out of the walls, so I just sat down on the bench and laid my head down with my arm extended out while I held the remote and pushed the button.

Nothing happened. I sat up and pushed the on button harder. Nothing. I got up and looked at the TV. It was plugged in but not working. Go figure.

I sighed and looked out the kitchen window. The sun beating down on the lake made the lake look even dirtier.

“I better go look at the lake,” I muttered, giving up on a nap and threw the TV remote control on the table and resigning to the fact that I was never going to watch TV again.

There was a note that was taped to the outside of the door.

“Fix the Dew in the vending machine,” was scribbled on a piece of paper. I crumbled it up and threw it inside the camper.

Careful not to step in anything, I kept my eyes to the ground as I walked over to the lake. No doubt that it was pretty nice in its heyday and I’d longed to have seen it because it was turning out to be a beautiful day. Laying on a beach with the sun beating down on me, was something I needed.

I walked around the lake and was delighted in the small patches of grass that were popping up. There was a little hope for that lush Kentucky Bluegrass, even though the patches did resemble a thistle bush. I wasn’t going to let that dash my hopes and walked over to the wooden dock.

There was no sugar coating it. The dock had more buckled boards than flat ones.  Rusted nails popped out of almost every single board. With each step closer to the edge, the more it creaked under my feet.

There was a man walking around the dirt and looking down.

“Welcome to Normal,” he chuckled in a country accent that I wouldn’t even classify as southern. He wore a one-piece blue zip up overalls and was stabbing a piece of paper with one of those trash picker uppers.  Not that I’d know what it was called, but his laughter made me wonder if he was laughing at me standing there on the rickety wooden dock with my fingers pinching my nose. The ends of straggly hair made a perfect skirt around his head from underneath his filthy baseball cap.

“This isn’t normal,” I groaned, careful not to open my mouth in fear some sort of airborne

funk was going to seep into my lungs and then to be sick in this godforsaken place would just be the cherry on top of what was turning out to be a really crummy life. “I guess you’re Henry.”

“The one and only.” He tee-hee’d and put the tip of the poker in the garbage bag. “I’m thinkin’ you’re Mae West.” He walked closer and was a little more scragglier than he appeared from a distance. He had a big nose and wide smile that exposed the missing top-two front teeth.

“The one and only.” I put my hand out and shook his.

It was becoming obvious that Dottie Swaggert had called everyone she knew after I met her this morning and Normal was gossipier than I figured.

 “It looks like we’ve got us a mess here, Henry.” I looked out over the lake.

I pointed to the broken wooden sign that said the pond was catch and release.

“I’m thinking I might catch an illness if I tried to fish in there.” I joked.

“Ain’t been fish in that water for a long time. This lake’s been as useful as buttons on a dishrag.” His country accent came back in spades. He stood next to me and tapped the toe of his worn out brown boot on one of the popped up wooden boards that was one of many that needed to be hammered down or just replaced, but where I was going to get that money?

“Shocker,” I muttered in a sarcastic tone and looked out over the green sludge layer. “Do you know when you’re going to be able to take a look at the laundry room?”

“Oh, I’ve looked at them plenty of times. It’s the parts that I keep looking at that don’t come for free,” he said. “I’m not sure if Dottie told you, but there’s barely enough in the budget to keep the vending machine in Mountain Dew.”

“And that seems to be a priority around here.” I rolled my eyes, wondering if he was the one who taped the note to my door. “I’d like to see if we can get bottled water in there too.”

It was such a simple suggestion that I knew was going to meet with some hesitation.

“Around here, we don’t like to pay for bottled water when we can just turn on the tap and get it from there.” He shrugged. “Not having bottled water is what I call rich people’s problems and between you and me, we ain’t got those issues.”

I pinched a smile and bit my tongue, looking over the lake and wondering if that was the tap water they were drinking.

The sound of tires spitting up gravel underneath them caught our attention and both of us turned at the same time, which didn’t turn out to be a good idea.

“Henry!” I screamed as if he were going to be able to help me, but he was too busy trying to save himself from the crumbling dock.

With a big splash, both of us were waist deep in the musky, green water drenched.

“I guess I can fix the dock.” Henry wiped away something unrecognizable from his eyes.

“Why?!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and started to cry as I looked up to the sky.

I’d not even noticed the black car had stopped right in front of us and there were two men standing in front of us, on dry land, in blue suits and sunglasses. One was taller than the other.

“Help us,” I instructed them with my hand stuck out in front of me. “Now!” I insisted.

It took the men to find their footing before they seemed comfortable that they weren’t going to fall into the death lake, to get us out.

“Mae West.” The who pulled me out, took his glasses off exposing the most beautiful green eyes.

It caught me off guard because I’d never seen a black-haired man with sparkling green eyes. I wiped down my shirt and tried to push back my hair into place, but whatever was in that lake was like plaster and taped every single strand of my hair on my face.

“Do I know you?” I asked and decided to just go with a smile in hopes it was much prettier than my current appearance.

“I’m Detective Hank Sharp with the Federal Bureau of Investigation and when I’m not doing that, I’m a park ranger.” He pulled his fancy suit coat open and pulled out a badge. “This is my partner, Detective Elmo Burke.”

Mr. Burke didn’t appear to have the physique Detective Sharp had. He was shorter with small round glasses and bald on top but had hair on the side. He reminded me of George from Seinfeld.

“It was very nice of you to stop by and introduce yourself, but as you can see,” Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Henry’s face. His jaw all flapped open. “We are a little busy. Right, Henry.”

He snapped his mouth shut.

“Detective Hank,” I started to say and put my hand out to thank him for dropping by.

“Detective Sharp,” He corrected me.

I lowered my eyes when I saw it wasn’t in goodwill that he was stopping by.

“I’m guessing you’re not with the welcoming committee. I’m not sure what you want with me. If this has to do with my ex-husband, you can call . . .” I was rudely interrupted by Detective Hank again.

“I’m very aware that you had nothing to do with his Ponzi scheme, but I’m not so sure you didn’t have anything to do with his escape.” He pulled his sunglasses off his face so smooth, that he looked like one of those cute TV cops.

“Escape?” I gulped and now wished I’d paid attention to the news report I’d seen on the TV at The Laundry Club.

“We figured he’d come here to see you since he never really wanted to sign the divorce papers and from what your lawyer told us, this piece of property is in your name. That’s why we think he’s here.” Detective Hank stared while the other guy started to walk around. “Have you seen him?”

Suddenly, I got nervous. Was he trying to read my body language like I’d seen done in movies. I began to pick at the stray limbs and other unrecognizable things that clung to my plastered head of hair.

“Trust me.” I put my hand on my hip after I realized I looked nervous. “I’d done killed the jerk if he’d showed up here.”

“Hank.” Detective Burke jutted his chin in the air gesturing Detective Hank over. “You stay there, Ms. West,” he instructed me.

“Listen, this is my campground and if there’s something to see, I’m going see it.” I stomped on my way over before he could stop me.

“Is that a foot?” Henry asked over my shoulder.

“Foot?” I let out a nervous laughed. “No.” I leaned a little closer and it sure looked like something that could be a foot, but nah. “It’s part of the broken dock.” I nodded, completely convincing myself.

“I might not be real educated, but I’m thinkin’ it’s a foot that’s attached to a leg.” Henry curled his nose and then his brows rose as the leg floated to the top of the lake and was attached to a body. “Definitely a foot. And a leg.” His nose curled.

“Ahhh!” I screamed and jumped when the head of the body popped up like one of those red button things on a pressure cooker that let you know when it was finished cooking. “Paul,” I gasped, bringing my hand up to my mouth.