Ethan

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DEAR RACHEL,

I want you to know that no one at our school is going to miss you after you move away this week. You were the ugliest stupidest girl in the class, and everyone always laughs at you because you are the only one who always fails the spelling tests. Your hair also always looks like a wet dog is sitting on top of your head.

GOODBYE and don’t you dare write back,

Forget You FOREVER,

Ethan

PS—I know that you stole my Captain America toy so I burned your Wonder Woman doll at my cousin’s camp party last week. Hope you weren’t looking for it.

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DEAR ETHAN,

I am so happy that I’m finally moving away from you and out of this boring neighborhood! I can’t tell you how glad I am that I won’t have to deal with you anymore. I promise I won’t ever write you another letter and I promise I’ll make WAY MORE friends than you when I get to my new house, and I hope your new neighbor is another girl that won’t like you.

I’ve already forgottin you,

Rachel

PS—I was the one who burned your box of video games last year. THEIR. You deserved it.

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UGH! IT’S T-H-E-R-E! Why does she always use the wrong one?

I looked out my window and watched as Rachel stomped away from my mailbox, heading back to her house.

I grabbed my pen from my drawer and began writing my response. I had two hours before Rachel’s family moving van was due to take off, and I wanted to make sure I got this letter to her in time. I wanted to make sure I got to write the last word.

I’d never been so happy to see someone leave this street and I couldn’t wait until she opened her box of comics to see the “gift” of dog shit I’d left inside when she made it to her new house.

“Why don’t you two just call each other?” My mother asked, setting down a glass of juice. “It must be exhausting walking up and down the street every hour to pass notes.”

“These aren’t notes, Mom. They’re letters.”

“Oh, I see.” She laughed. “Are they love letters?”

“Ugh, never.” I rolled my eyes. “Rachel is the ugliest girl on this block, and everyone knows it.”

“Ethan!”

I shrugged. “It’s the truth.”

“It’s mean, and I know that you don’t really mean it,” she said. “Hopefully, you two will get closer and become friends over time. I think this is just a phase.”

“Nope.” I printed the ‘Forget You’ neatly in my letter and signed my name. “Now that she’s moving away, I don’t plan on ever talking to her again.”

She laughed and patted me on my shoulder. “We’ll see about that.” She started talking about all the reasons why I should be “nicer” to Rachel, but I tuned her out. Rachel didn’t deserve any niceness. Ever.

She was a liar who snitched whenever things didn’t go her way, and she blamed me for everything. The only time I took sympathy on her was when the other girls made fun of her and hurt her feelings, or when they refused to play with her and told her that she dressed like a boy. Then again, she deserved it, and she did dress like a boy.

We have some of the same shirts...

“I know your father grounded you for throwing Rachel off her bike last week,” my mom said, lowering her voice. “But how about I take the two of you to the movies this weekend while he’s at work?”

“You can take me by myself,” I said. “I don’t want Rachel anywhere near me.”

Before she could say another word, I walked out the front door—ready to place my final letter in Rachel’s mailbox.

It was already too late, though.

Her family’s yellow moving van was pulling onto the street. 

Sighing, I tucked the letter into my back pocket and looked at the bright side of things. Rachel was leaving.

Rachel was leaving. Rachel was LEAVING.

I waved at the van as it began to move faster, rolling my eyes at Rachel as she threw up her middle finger from the back seat. I was tempted to rush out to the street and toss my parting letter to her anyway, but the van suddenly started to slow down.

Then it turned into the driveway right next to my house.

Then it stopped.

What is happening?

Rachel’s parents parked the truck, and they didn’t back out of the driveway. They just sat there, as if they belonged. As if this was where they were planning to move. 

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” Rachel’s mom stepped out first. “I don’t know why you always give Ethan such a hard time, Rachel. He’s here waiting to help you move into your new room.”

“What did you say?” My jaw dropped. “Rachel is moving right next door?”

Her mom didn’t hear me.

My dad was suddenly at my side, patting my shoulder. “They wanted a house with a pool like ours and the James’ had finally put their house up for sale. Isn’t it funny how life works out sometimes, son?”

I was speechless, and from the way Rachel’s jaw was hanging open, she was speechless as well.

“I think we made the right decision by not telling them until move-in day.” Her father laughed and opened the back of the trailer. My traitorous parents laughed as well, and then they began helping them unload their things.

Rachel remained glued to the back seat, and I stood rooted in the grass. It wasn’t until several minutes later when my mom placed a box marked “Rachel’s new room” in my hand that I realized that this was really happening.

The dog shit I’d left for Rachel was seeping through the box, onto my shoes.

I set it down and looked up at Rachel, wondering if I should be the “bigger person” and offer a truce, but I saw my Captain America toy in her hand. Saw her smiling at me as she held it up high.

I looked around, ready to show my mom how evil Rachel really was, but our parents were all inside.

“Give me my Captain America, and I won’t burn any more of your stuff,” I said as she rolled down the window.

“Okay, that sounds fair.” She shrugged and stepped out of the van. She held out the figurine, but she didn’t hand it to me.

She dropped it, down the sewer drain. “Oops!”

I knew I was supposed to snitch on her for doing that, that I should run to the house and get her into trouble, but I was sick of her shit.

I kicked her to the ground, and she quickly pulled me down with her. I didn’t give a damn that she was a girl. She fought harder than any of the boys on this block, and being grounded for hitting her again wasn’t going to kill me.