I’ll tell you what I wasn’t doing and that was sleeping. It was two in the morning and I was tossing and turning. And this time it wasn’t over a case. It was Harrison. Harrison, who gave me the perfect manicure and pedicure with antique pink polish. Harrison, who decided I should plan our next outing since that’s what friends did. Harrison, who was now coming with me to my grandmother’s charity event at my grandparents’ country club on Tuesday. It was a trivia night to benefit the local food bank. People don’t realize how low food pantries get during the summer. And if I forgot to mention, Harrison informed me he was on the SWAT team. When he suggested I plan our next get together, I asked if he was on days and he said, “For this rotation, unless I get called in for a situation. I’m on the SWAT team.”

He said it with pride. It killed me.

I sat up and turned on my bedside lamp. Sleep wasn’t happening. I rubbed my face in my hands. This man. Now I remembered the sleepless nights five years ago when I walked away from him. I was now realizing that I never fully got over him. I grabbed a pillow and held onto it for dear life. What was I going to do? Could I maintain a friendship with him all while wanting more? Did I really want to see him date and find the perfect woman for himself? The answer was a solid no, but I couldn’t be with a man in blue.

I fell asleep sitting up while clutching my pillow. My phone woke me up. It was a text from Harrison.

I had a great time last night. I’m looking forward to tomorrow night. I have Wednesday off and I already know what we should do. Do you think you can get off around sixteen hundred hours? I’ll take earlier if I can get it.

I leaned my head back and sighed, thankful on one hand I had an out, and depressed on the other that I would have to decline. Thanks for last night. My cuticles are happy this morning. And sorry I can’t meet you. I have driving school that night.

That’s what you get for hitting a police officer. I could picture him laughing on the other end.

If memory serves me correctly, you hit me, and I’m sure you were speeding.

Counselor, I’m going to plead not guilty and ask you for a rain check.

I’ll think about it. Have a good day. And brush up on your trivia. I want our team to win.

Remember my LSAT score? We have this in the bag.

I did. I wished he would have capitalized on it. I don’t think you will ever let me forget.

You got that right. Have a great day, beautiful. I mean that in the friendliest way possible.

I held the phone to my heart. Yeah, this was a problem.

I tried my best to stay focused at the office. I had people counting on me. People who needed my help. I was researching case law, statutes, and case dockets, but it wasn’t gelling in my mind. I kept looking at my pretty fingernails or thinking about the sweet things Harrison had said last night. Or the fact I didn’t want to wait until tomorrow night to see him.

My thoughts were interrupted by Grady popping in. He shook his head at my stack of books and two laptops I had going. I took my research seriously. “Are you gunning for a position on the supreme court?” He walked in smiling and took a seat on the very edge of my desk where there was some space.

“I would never put myself through the nomination process. Not like the President has come calling.”

He laughed. “Has Harrison come calling?”

I bit my lip. “In a friendly way.”

“I bet.” He smirked. “You know he’s into you, right?”

I looked down at the laptop closest to me. “Yes? But we agreed friends is the way to go.”

“You mean you decided and he’s following along, hoping you’ll change your mind.”

I looked up and met my brother’s peering eyes. “What should I do? I can’t just hit and run again.”

“What does that mean?”

“That’s what Harrison called what I did to him five years ago.”

“Why don’t you try telling him the truth?”

“Sorry, I can’t see you anymore because the job you adore doesn’t work for me.”

He leaned more toward me. “No. The real truth. Tell him about our parents.”

I shook my head no.

He narrowed his eyes. “Why, Kallie Rae?”

I looked up toward the tray ceiling in my office. “You don’t know what it was like. You were long out of the house. Mom chose someone else over me. I had to go live with Grandma and Mason. Do you know how embarrassing that was? Not to mention the pity it invokes talking about it. It is just easier to leave Mom and Dad out.”

“Didn’t you ever tell him anything about our parents?”

I faced my concerned brother. “I think I told him Dad died in a traffic altercation and Mom pursued her goals outside of the state, so I went to live with our grandparents.”

“That’s quite the spin on it.”

“It’s the truth.”

“I’d hate to face you in the courtroom.”

I gave him a small smile. “I didn’t want him to feel sorry for me.”

“I think you’re afraid of letting him in. I wonder what your excuse would be if he wasn’t a cop.” He got up and walked out, leaving me speechless.

Well, that was . . . completely preposterous. Right?

~*~

I woke up tired again on Tuesday. The men surrounding me were wreaking havoc. I had Grady making absurd assumptions and Harrison was texting and calling me like we were more than friends. He had talked to his captain about Shop with a Hero and his captain thought it was a great idea. He asked Harrison to work with their public relations department. They now wanted to meet with me. I was tangling myself up with him. It wasn’t a bad place to be—not at all—but it was a hard place to be. I was torn. I wanted him. There, I said it. But I knew I couldn’t have him.

Harrison sent me trivia questions by text all day. Like, Who was the legendary monk that invented champagne? That was an easy one— Dom Perignon. He did send me hard ones like, What kind of weapon is a falchion? The answer was a sword, but I had to Google it. Then he texted me this gem: How many times a day do I think about you?

I sat at my desk for a good five minutes trying to think of a response. Trying to calm my beating heart. I knew I thought of him often.

Give up? Too many times to count. All friendly, of course. Okay, that’s a lie, I’ve had some pretty steamy visions of you and me. But you can’t blame me. You’re beautiful in more ways than one.

That didn’t help. And no, I couldn’t blame him, not when I’d had the same thoughts. I kept staring at my screen.

Kallie?

Yes?

Please don’t let that scare you. I’ll pick you up at eighteen hundred hours.

He could read me so well. His job demanded that skill.

By the way, what do I wear? I hope not a tux.

I smiled at his message. Business casual would be appropriate for tonight. I would have given you a heads up if this was a formal event.

Do you go to a lot of formal events?

On occasion with my grandparents.

See you tonight.

Huh. That was an abrupt ending. It was a good thing. I needed to focus on my work. Or try harder. Harrison was consuming my thoughts.