I stared out the window, watching as the waves lapped at the beach. I sighed, my eyes zoning out past the horizon, wishing desperately to be outside and not cooped up in my stuffy office. I sighed, looking around the place and grimacing. I’d found since I’d been back that I hated it here, resented every part of being in California. But I didn’t have a choice, so every day I dragged myself to work until it was time to go home again, and sometimes I’d manage to have enough energy to stop by the beach on the way home. The beach—California itself—was the only thing keeping me sane now that I was alone here. It was the only thing keeping me from losing my mind, getting caught up in all of the racing thoughts that seemed to captivate my mind at any given moment.

“Lily,” came a voice from the door. I looked to see Marilyn, and my face lit up in a smile. I stood up and she crossed the room to me, wrapping me in her arms.

“I’m so glad you’re back,” I said to her, looking into her eyes. She looked tired and worn, like she hadn’t slept in days, but she looked better than she had when I’d last seen her at the retreat, just before I’d left.

“How are you, Lily?” she asked, studying my face.

“I’m kind of miserable,” I said to her.

“Oh, honey,” she said softly. “I know you are. But I swear it will get better.”

I sighed. “I know.”

“You should go home for the day,” she said. “Go to the beach, go home, drink wine, go to sleep. Relax.”

I laughed. “I just got back from a vacation.”

“You deserve another vacation,” she said, grinning at me, then glanced over her shoulder. “Seriously, go home. I’ll totally cover for you.”

“I really could use some time at the beach,” I said, looking out the window again, out at the clear blue waves. I picked up my purse, deciding to go. I couldn’t waste another minute inside this place, not knowing what else was out there for me to experience. Since I’d been back, my office felt almost like a prison, one that I had to escape from at every chance.

I left the building, breathing in the fresh, salty air as I walked home to my apartment. I looked around as I made my way toward the beach, taking off my shoes so I could walk barefoot through the warm sand. I felt somebody come up behind me and wrap his hand around my waist and I jumped, swinging my arm to hit whoever it was. A familiar laugh stopped me and I turned to see Logan grinning down at me, dressed comically in clothing that was much too warm for California.

“Logan,” I said, my eyes widening when I saw him. I couldn’t believe that it was him, that he was real. “What are you doing here?”

“God,” he said. “I know you were supposed to come back in a week, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t wait to see you.”

I grinned at him, my whole body lighting up as he took me into his arms and took my mouth in a slow, sweet kiss.

“Did Marilyn know you were out here?” I asked him.

“I asked her to help me set this whole thing up,” he said. “She did perfectly.”

“Set what up?” I asked him. He smiled at me, taking my hand and pulling me through the sand and away from my apartment.

“Where are we going?” I asked him.

“Marilyn showed me a good place to take you somewhere private,” he said, leading me down to the beach and toward a rocky outcropping. I looked at him, puzzled, as he stepped on top of the rock and reached down to take my hand.

“What is this?” I asked him skeptically.

He smiled at me, gesturing for me to take his hand. He pulled me onto the rock, then down onto the other side and into a small cave I’d never known was there. I looked around in wonder at the dark, craggy rock, at the blanket set out on the ground next to a wicker picnic basket. I grinned at him as he led me over to the blanket and we sat down, crossing our legs in the sand.

“What are you laughing at?” he asked as I looked him over.

“You’re dressed like you’re still in Colorado,” I said, reaching over to finger the hem of his shirt. “Why didn’t you wear something cooler?”

“I had a feeling I wouldn’t have my clothes on for long, anyway,” he said, his eyes sparkling.

“Don’t you think highly of yourself?” I asked, smiling as I opened the basket. The moment I did, my heart stopped in my chest. I looked from the basket to his face with my mouth open.

“What?” I asked him.

“Open it,” he said. I reached in and pulled out the small green velvet jewelry box, holding it in my hand. I didn’t open it, but looked at his face.

“What are you doing?”

He laughed. “Open it, Lily,” he said.

I flipped it open, nearly gasping when I saw the ring inside. It was old, obviously an antique, glittering in the light that was coming into the cave. My breath caught as he took the box from me and gently pulled the ring out of it, holding it up to me.

“Lily,” he said softly. “I tried to plan a big romantic speech for you. I did. But it all came down to the same sentiment, over and over. I—I really did love you the very moment I met you. I knew it the first time we went on that mountain.”

“Oh,” I said to him, trying to keep myself from tearing up. The truth was, I felt the same way. When I thought back to it, I’d fallen in love with Logan the first day we’d gone to the mountain together, and every moment I’d spent denying it afterward had been a waste of time.

“Will you marry me?” he asked, taking my hand in his.

I nodded as he slipped the ring onto my finger. Then he leaned in and took my mouth in a slow, luxurious kiss, tasting me as he held me close against him. I could feel the familiar heat spreading through my body, the one that always came at even the slightest of his touches. It was something that had always overwhelmed me and something I knew always would. I breathed against his lips, deepening the kiss while he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his body. I found myself rubbing against him, pushing him onto his back in the sand and climbing on top of him.

“Are you hot in these clothes?” I asked him.

He nodded, grinning at me as I started to unbutton his shirt. His body was glistening with sweat by the time I stripped him of all his clothes, and I took a moment to look him over with the beams of sunlight radiating off him. He was perfect—his skin smooth, muscles hard and well-lined. I wanted to lick him all over, but what I wanted more than anything was to have him inside of me. I knew he could read what I wanted just by looking at my face—he took my jaw in his hands and pulled me down to kiss me fiercely as I started to take his pants off, stripping him naked on the blanket.

“Lily,” he said as I planted kisses on his neck, his chest and his abdomen. I wanted to taste him, to take him into my mouth like he did with me. He inhaled sharply when I brushed my lips over the swollen head of his cock, tasting just the tip of it with my tongue. I teased the head in a circle, tasting the rim before taking the length of him into my mouth. I sucked on him gently, slowly, using my hand at the base to stroke the area I couldn’t reach with my mouth. He groaned softly when I pulled back, focusing only on the head, sucking it firmly between my lips as he stroked my hair.

“God, I have to fuck you,” he said in a low voice, trying to pull me upward, but I planted myself between his legs and continued to suck and lap at his cock. I wanted to enjoy it, to make him need to fuck me before I let him. I knew that the longer I used my mouth on him, the more urgent his desire grew. It only fueled me more, and I happily took him into my mouth over and over, tracing along the bottom of his cock with my tongue in just the way he liked it.

“Come on,” he growled, grabbing me roughly and pulling me upward before I could stop him. I couldn’t help but mold to his body and give him what he wanted, though I did hesitate again by simply rubbing my lower lips up and down over his shaft, coating him with my juices. I rode against him like that, fighting him every time he tried to take control. The head of his cock rubbed against my clit whenever I moved, and I found myself close to coming as I tried to tease him.

“This is backfiring,” he said with a chuckle, lifting his hips against mine, grinding harder against my clit. I moaned as my hips started to move beyond my control, my breathing growing ragged as I rubbed against him. I felt myself starting to come but he stopped me, lifting my hips so that my needy pussy throbbed with frustration. I almost growled when he continued to hold my hips away from his, especially when he lowered his mouth to take my nipple between his lips. He sucked on it tenderly, tasting it with his tongue as he slowly aimed his cock inside of me from below. I pushed myself onto it, taking him deep inside of me and beginning to rock back and forth on his lap, moaning softly.

“I can’t wait to do this every fucking day,” he said underneath me, his voice low and gruff as he raised his hips to meet my rhythm. “Every fucking morning and every night.”

“What if I get tired of you?” I asked him.

He grinned, jerking his hips upward to knock hard against the back of my pussy, nearly knocking the wind out of me. He did it again, then again, so that he was fucking me hard from below, just as hard as I liked it.

“Do you think you’ll get tired of this?” he asked, thundering into me, holding my hips still while I moaned.

“Yes,” I said teasingly, wanting more from him, wanting him to prove to me all the ways in which I was wrong. He flipped me over onto my back then and wrapped my legs around his hips, his hand under my ass to hold me as close as possible. He started grinding inside of me in shallow strokes that he knew drove me crazy, made me desperate for more and more.

“Still?” he asked. “Even this, baby?”

I nodded, though I wasn’t able to speak anymore. He reached down and started to rub my clit, slowing his hips down so that his movements were long, hard, and deep.

“What about this?” he asked, his face in my neck, his teeth sinking into me as his hips started to pound into mine. I accepted him eagerly, moving against him, our bodies dancing together on the ground in passionate embrace.

“This is good,” I said to him, and he smiled while he continued to pound me, occasionally slowing down to savor the feeling. It took him a long time to make me come but it was worth it—I felt it building and building for what felt like hours until I finally let go, wrapping my legs around him as he filled me with his come at the same time.

“So what’s happening at the retreat?” I asked when we were finished, our bodies intertwined on the blanket on the ground. We ignored the food beside us in favor of laying together, kissing often, breathing each other in.

“We’re upgrading. Getting a new lift,” he said.

“I’m still never ever going on that thing again.”

“You will,” he assured me, kissing me. “I’ll hold your hand, Lily. Always.”