SARAH
The night before the ball, they canceled my shift, leaving me with too much time on my hands.
Knox and I hadn’t seen each other again, and as easy as things had been going between us, I couldn’t help but feel nervous about the next evening. Everybody would see two people out on a date—or so I hoped—but for me, it would be as if we were going out for the first time.
I am, my heart whispered.
I’m not. It’s a fake date, my brain reminded me.
And that was the exact reason my best friend, Mitch, short for Michelle, sat on my couch across from me and sipped red wine.
“Is he hot?” she asked, waggling her eyebrows.
“He’s very nice,” I replied, wanting to sound less shallow than I felt when being around Knox because, truth was, my mind went to the gutter. His arms were strong, his abs showed under his usually tight shirts, and whenever he gave me a grin, those blue eyes sparkled like water on a sunny day.
I couldn’t care less how “nice” he was during those moments. All I wanted was for him to bend me over the kitchen counter and be rough with me.
Mitch, knowing me better than that, laughed. “So he’s very hot. Panty-melting hot? Will you forgo your underwear tomorrow to maybe—”
The doorbell interrupted her, which I was glad for. I stood. “No. We won’t talk about that because it’s a fake date,” I reminded her and walked to the front door.
Opening it, I saw Knox standing on my porch, almost as if our talk had conjured him up. “K-Knox,” I greeted him, surprised and a little embarrassed because I knew Mitch was in the living room, probably trying to listen in.
“Sarah.”
Knox stepped forward, the gesture commanding, and I took a step back into my hallway. God, he smelled good—sandalwood, coffee, and uniquely him.
“It won’t take long,” he stated, combing his fingers through his hair. He wore faded blue jeans and a black AC/DC t-shirt, making it impossible to focus on his face. It must’ve been from his teenage years because I was sure I could see every single muscle.
“Okay. I have a visitor anyway, so why don’t we just—”
His eyes went behind me. “Oh, hello.”
I didn’t need to turn to know Mitch leaned against the doorframe of the living room, holding her wineglass in front of her lips to hide a smirk.
“Hellooo, handsome,” she replied.
“Knox?” I asked, angry that his eyes stayed glued to my best friend. She was taller than me with long legs and dark hair. I’d never felt self-conscious when around her, but I suddenly couldn’t help but think I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough.
“Yes.” His gaze swung back to me and softened. “I just needed to tell you… After Saturday, I need you to not show up at my house anymore. At least not unannounced. I…” He swallowed, his Adam’s apple moving as he glanced away. “I wish I could explain, but I can’t right now. Just trust me when I say it’s nothing you did. You are amazing. It’s something different.”
My fake boyfriend was currently really dumping me, and that was before we’d even gone on our first date. I swallowed around the lump in my throat. “You know… I never wanted to force myself on you. Don’t worry about tomorrow, okay?” My voice was soft, although I felt raw inside. I realized I’d been looking forward to going with him. Now I had to face the embarrassment of going alone—again.
Knox stepped forward and reached out, cupping my cheek. “I want to go with you, Sarah, and I will go with you. I also want to talk to you afterward, but visits to my house have to be strictly limited. I’ll explain one day. I promise. But I wanted to tell you today, not tomorrow when you have such a big night. I just came from work or I would’ve been here earlier.”
His eyes flicked behind me, as if suddenly remembering Mitch stood there. Part of me hoped she’d walked back into the living room, but when he gave a curt nod, I knew it had been wishful thinking.
He brushed his thumb across my lower lip as his eyes met mine again. “Okay. I’ll leave you to your wine and girl talk. Don’t tell her my secrets. Those are just for you.” He smiled, but it was strained, probably because I couldn’t smile in response.
“We’ll just analyze what secrets she could possibly still uncover if you took off that shirt of yours,” Mitch commented, making my cheeks heat.
Knox leaned in until his lips touched the outer shell of my ear. “If I show you, will you promise you won’t spill details?”
This got me to laugh, and a little of my tension melted away.
“Depends on how impressive it is,” I replied. He chuckled, surprising me by kissing my forehead.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at six,” he promised. “Good night, girlfriend.”
“Fake girlfriend,” I corrected, and he winked.
“You’d better not say that tomorrow. Good night.” He said it to both me and Mitch, then let himself out.
I closed the door behind him, resting my palm against the wood as I collected myself. What the hell had this been about?
“You, woman, have been holding out on me. He’s fucking hot! That dark hair, those black eyes…”
I turned to Mitch, following her as she strolled back into the living room. “His eyes aren’t exactly black, but a dark blue. Anyway, you know, you could have waited in here,” I said, exasperated.
“After you greeted him? Hell no. I needed to see who has you twisted around his little finger. Damn, he’s a fine male specimen. And you actually have a date with him.” She fanned herself. “I need every dirty detail. Every. Little. Thing.”
I poured myself some wine. She’d opened the bottle for herself, but I suddenly needed something to calm my erratic heartbeat. “You heard him. He basically broke up with me before anything started. You were there. You witnessed it. I don’t know what’s wrong because when I was over there on Wednesday, he was okay. I must’ve been too…too…” I didn’t know. I was at a loss because I had tried to not be clingy.
The first sip of the wine gave me goosebumps. While I often enjoyed a glass when Mitch was over, my body was clearly telling me it wasn’t ready for one tonight.
Mitch just rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease. The way he looked at you said it all.”
I shook my head, remembering the way his gaze had lingered on her. “No, the way he looked at you said it all,” I retorted quietly.
There was a long moment of silence, then Mitch suddenly knelt in front of me, her lips parted in surprise.
“O-M-G, S. Could it actually be that you finally found a man you’re seriously interested in? And not just on the surface?” I knew she didn’t mean anything bad by it, but she knew how my love life had been non-existent for years.
I couldn’t help the small smile playing over my lips because I’d imagined how it would feel if he’d just draw me in and kiss me hard, as if he couldn’t take the time to be tender, as if he were in such a hurry…
The thoughts always left me breathless, so I avoided them now with Mitch around. She watched me too closely, would notice too much.
“You know all those damn books with insta-love?” I asked instead, and she nodded. “I won’t deny I felt insta-lust with him. Those tats peeking out from his collar and sleeves…” I shook my head, able to picture them.
Mitch sat back on her heels. “Well, girl, let Mommy tell you something. That guy is just as much in insta-lust with you as you are with him.” She waggled her brows. I rolled my eyes, glad she took a sip of wine instead of making all the inappropriate comments she most likely had on her tongue.
* * *
KNOX
I got home, my feet dragging. I had no doubt the house would be empty. Callum did what he wanted, and I had no strength left to argue with him.
Sarah was right. The work was harder than expected. However, I enjoyed feeling drained at the end of the day, body and mind too exhausted to worry about anything. The rest of our things had finally arrived, and although everything was still in boxes in the dining room, I was glad we had it all together. Granted, I wasn’t sure when I’d be unpacking them, but it would happen eventually.
After kicking off my boots, I walked to the fridge to grab a beer, taking a healthy swig. I stared at the boxes, contemplating opening one, but the truth was, I wanted to unpack them with Sarah. I didn’t know why or how it happened, but having her around had eased everything running through my mind.
Being with her in my bedroom, just talking while I sorted my things, had been intense, and I realized I’d craved that connection with a woman.
I let out a small curse at the fact I’d told her to stay away. I’d seen the disappointment in her eyes and found it mirrored in my heart, but I didn’t know how best to handle the situation with Callum. I needed someone to talk to, maybe help me sort it out, but until I did, I needed Sarah to understand that bringing pizza over would only make it worse.
Or just being here and laughing.
Jesus, how had she managed to twist my whole world around in less than a week? And why was I so willing to let her?
The doorbell rang, startling me. I checked my watch. It was past nine, and I wasn’t expecting anyone. I strode to the door and opened it, seeing one of my new colleagues, Hayden, standing there.
I blinked, surprised, as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Mind if I come in? You looked like you had something on your mind all day, and I, ah…” He chuckled. “This was probably a stupid idea.”
I actually didn’t think so. Granted, I was caught off-guard because we hadn’t spoken much at work, but I’d heard the others talking about him and knew he was a decent guy.
“Not at all. It’ll be nice having a different opinion. Beer?” I stepped side as he nodded and took off his boots, placing them neatly next to the door. I grinned at my own, sitting haphazardly next to the kitchen counter, and grabbed the beer before joining him in the living room.
“Sit,” I told him, sitting down myself. He grinned and accepted the beer, remaining standing.
“I’m too restless to sit. I hate Fridays. I usually have weekend plans with Leah, my best friend, but she’s out of town with her mother, so…” He shrugged.
Best friend? Obviously a woman, but that was still unusual. I wondered if I should comment on it, but he just nodded toward me as he took a sip of beer.
“So, what’s up, Knox?”
I glanced out the front window. The last thing I wanted was Callum walking in on us and getting even more pissed than he’d be anyway. “Ever told a woman you really like that you can’t see her anymore?”
Hayden arched a brow. “Are we talking the have sex all the time way of liking, or the rest of your life way?”
“Can’t it be both?” I smirked, then sobered again. “I don’t know her well enough yet to be sure it’s one way or the other, but when she’s around, it’s like…” I thought a second, “the calmness of a mountain cabin hidden in the woods. Her mere presence puts me at ease.”
Hayden sat, no longer any amusement in his eyes. “But?”
“I have a teenage son who’s developed a crush on her.”
A small smile crossed his lips. “You two clearly have the same taste. You’re crushing on her, too.”
I groaned because that sounded as if I were only a teenager, but Hayden laughed.
“Okay. What word would you prefer? Lust after her? Head over heels?” He tapped his beer bottle against his chin in thought. “Want to water her lust garden?”
I chuckled. “Okay. I think we’re drifting off. My son made it very clear that we’d have trouble over her. She’s probably twice his age, and I… He and I have enough shouting matches as it is. I don’t want to add another reason.”
“Hence you telling her to stay away?” he supplied. I nodded. “Must be some woman if it bothers you that much.”
I stood, pacing the length of the living room. “She is. Sarah is—”
“Sarah?” he repeated, surprise in his voice. He couldn’t know whom I was talking about, could he? It wasn’t a unique name. “Sarah Burke?”
Jealousy coursed through me. I had no right to feel that way, but I started seething anyway.
“Yes.”
He combed his fingers through his dark hair, making the strands messy. I knew women probably considered him handsome. He was tan, his green eyes shining…and I hated him at that moment. “She’s a good one, but let me tell you something, Knox. She doesn’t date. She doesn’t do relationships. She’s—”
“Taking me to the police ball tomorrow.”
Yes, it was just a fake date, but she was still taking me, and the disappointment in her eyes when I told her not to come around anymore had been real.
Hayden stayed quiet, his brows furrowed.
“So?” I prompted, gesturing at him with my beer bottle. “Share. What’s on your mind?”
He shrugged, lifting his bottle to his lips without drinking. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“How do you know her anyway? Don’t you live on the other side of town?”
He grinned, color creeping up his neck. “I don’t think there’s any man in this town who doesn’t know her.” Another wave of unwanted fury threatened to pull me under, but Hayden continued. “She’s helped a lot of lost souls. You know, those evenings when it seems the world truly sucks and you get into trouble, although you’re usually a good guy? Weekends when she’s on shift are our safest bets.”
Curiosity almost killed me, but the way he spoke made it clear he wasn’t going to elaborate. Plus, he’d pointed out she didn’t date, so I knew she wasn’t helping them by keeping their bed warm.
“She’s…different.” It wasn’t a big enough word, but the only one I could say without making her sound cheap.
“Sarah Burke… How did she react to you telling her you couldn’t see her after tomorrow? Man, how in the hell did you manage to get those words out? I think any guy would bite his tongue off instead of shutting down any future chances.” He shook his head, placing his beer bottle on the table.
“You ever ask her out?”
He chuckled. “Not when I was sober.” He winked. “She didn’t accept, although from what little I remember, she was very gentle when putting cuffs on me. And, sadly, not the kinky kind.”
Without realizing it, I curled my hand into a fist. Hayden shifted, holding up his hands in a pacifying gesture.
“Look, I don’t want to date her. But I sometimes say stupid things when I’m drunk and lonely. So, how did she react? Don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t answer.”
I blew out a breath. “She was upset.” Which was true. I’d wanted to kiss her at that moment, but knew I’d get my chance tomorrow. In my head, the evening was all planned. I’d make the most of my role as fake boyfriend—little touches, inconspicuous kisses, holding her close.
I knew I’d miss her after that evening, but I needed to sort things out with my son first.
“Don’t hurt her, man. Seriously.” Hayden sounded intense, but he reminded me more of a big brother than someone in love with her, which eased my mind tremendously.
I stretched out my legs, rolling the beer bottle between my palms. “I don’t plan on it, which is why I told her today we cannot hang out for a while. I wanted the terms set.”
Hayden smirked, shaking his head. “A date with her… I cannot believe you just moved here and managed what no one else ever had.”
I cleared my throat. “I’m supposed to play her ‘boyfriend’. Seems she didn’t want to go alone, so she lied about being in a relationship. I’m okay with that. It’ll be nice to get out.” And see Sarah in a dress. “I just want to…not worry about my son for one night. I know he’ll be here all evening because he’ll be glad the house is empty. I—”
As if I’d conjured him up, the front door opened and Callum walked in, skateboard in hand. “Knoxley, when’s Sarah coming over next?”
It pissed me off that he called me by my first name occasionally. I knew it was because he felt more grown up that way, but I hated it.
“She’s not coming anymore. She has a job and a life. She was just being a nice neighbor for the day. Anyway, how about saying hello to our guest?” Or me, for that matter. “Hayden, my son Callum. Callum, this is a colleague.”
Callum didn’t even look at Hayden, who probably thought I’d failed at raising my son.
“She didn’t mind coming over here, and she was clearly lonely, too, so…” He shrugged. “I guess I’ll just tell her we still have boxes to unpack. Maybe I can do that with her next week while you’re at work.”
I inhaled quietly, hoping it would calm me down. “You’ll be in school during the day, and I’m sure I’ll be home in the afternoon so we can do it together.”
There was a moment I thought it could go either way—easy acceptance or extreme blowout. When he stepped toward the sofa, I knew.
Getting back to my feet, I wished I could have one night without stress.
“I know what you’re doing, Knoxley, and you cannot keep me away from her just because you’re worried about a little competition.” He wasn’t quite as tall as me yet, but he was definitely close.
“Isn’t she a little old for you, buddy? I mean, I get having a crush on an older woman, I totally loved my teacher in school, but Sarah isn’t your teacher,” Hayden asked. I groaned, wishing he’d just stay out of it.
Callum narrowed his eyes at him. “Age doesn’t matter. I know she likes me, too. Y’all will see. Then she’ll be in my arms.”
Chuckling, Hayden stood. “And you’ll do what? Fumble around because you have no idea what to do with a woman? Maybe you should find someone your own age before you plan on making a real woman happy.” As calm as he appeared, he looked formidable with his arms crossed his front of his chest, his stance wide.
Sadly, he knew nothing about my son, who stepped right up to him. “Maybe I will still do that. Just because you are clearly insecure about your sexual abilities doesn’t mean I am. If you’d like, I can give you pointers.”
What the fuck happened to the sweet guy who’d draw me dinosaur pictures for my office?
“Callum, apologize right now or, I swear, you’ll be grounded until the end of days,” I growled. He stared at me, eyes hard, yet I didn’t back down. Most days, I would’ve turned away, knowing I could punish him one way or another, but I wanted to prove I could be a parent.
“I’m sorry,” Callum finally stated, his tone sour, then he turned to me. “However, I will see Sarah again, whether you like it or not.” With that, he vanished up the stairs.
I closed my eyes. “I’m sorry about this. I seriously am.” I rubbed my temples, wishing I could find a solution to this problem called the teenage years.
“I’m sorry he’s a dick, but so was I when I was that age. What he needs is a best friend. A female one. It got me out of that phase.” He clasped my shoulder. “You’ll be okay. But I don’t think not seeing Sarah is the right way. She has a house. You could see her there. Or do that weird thing called a date.” He winked.
“I’m hardly home as it is now. If I start spending my time at Sarah’s… Besides, we don’t know if she’d even want that.
“Anyway, I need a shower and sleep. You guys are slave drivers.”
Hayden laughed, walking over to the door and slipping into his boots. “You’re too weak for the job, but you’ll get there.” He smiled, then nodded at the stairs. “He’ll come around. They all do eventually. Hang in there.”
I didn’t reply to that, just thanked him for dropping by, then closed the door behind him, hoping he was right.