CHAPTER FOURTEEN

 

 

She woke up insanely hot. She felt like she was sleeping inside a furnace. In reality, she was just sleeping on top of a naked man. She blinked blearily at the clock next to his bedside only to laugh.

“What?” he asked.

“It’s only been twenty minutes. I was expecting to look up and see hours had passed.”

“Mmm.” He kissed her hair, smoothed a hand over her back. “You were sleeping hard.”

“Did you sleep?”

He chuckled. “No. I’m pretty sure I’ll have to inoculate myself for years before I’m able to fall asleep with you naked and pressed up against me.”

Lying across his chest, she stacked her fists under her chin to see him better. “How are you?”

“How are you?”

“I asked first.”

He frowned. “Me? I’m… the best I can ever remember being. I didn’t think I was capable of being this content. This happy. It’s almost creepy.”
She laughed. “Only your negative ass would find happiness to be disconcerting.” She snuggled further under the covers. “Me, though? I feel happy. And satisfied, but also still pretty horny.”

He laughed. “And here I thought I’d done my job.”

“You did your job. I just kind of want you to do your job again.”             

There was something in his eyes, some sort of pause that had Kaya pulling back just a tiny bit. Maybe her inexperience was showing. Maybe now that he’d gotten his he wouldn’t want to do any more tonight. Or maybe he couldn’t do any more tonight. What little she knew about male recovery times she knew because of books and television. It was fine with her if Jackson could only go once a night. More than fine. She didn’t want him to feel bad about it at all. Completely unsure how to ask the questions she had, she just sort of flailed about, hoping he’d fill in the blanks. “I, um, didn’t mean to make things end so quickly before?”

He looked down at her, his eyes dark and inscrutable.

“I thought,” she continued, “that you were warning me because you weren’t sure I’d want it in my mouth. I didn’t think you were telling me that I might be… ending things prematurely.”

“Ending things prematurely?” His brow furrowed as he repeated her words, a look of confusion on his face. “Oh, you think that I’m done for the night?” He laughed and rolled her over to her side, spanning a hand down the curvy length of her. “No, Kaya. That’s not what’s going on. I mean, it’s been a long time since I’ve had a twofer, but nah. I’m good for it.”

“Then what’s making you all hesitant? Shouldn’t you be jumping me right now?”

The laughter faded from his eyes and that same hesitant contemplation returned. Again he was smoothing and fixing her hair as if he couldn’t bear to keep his hands out of it. She made a mental note to wear it down more often.

Just when she was tempted to break the silence again, he finally spoke up.

“If you were satisfied with what we just did, I would be totally fine with leaving it there for the night. I don’t want to push you further or faster than you want to go.”

“Jackson,” she said candidly, “I would really like to bone.”

He laughed and groaned and tugged her closer. “Message received. It’s just that I’ve been… kind of nervous about hurting you.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve never been with a virgin before.”

“Hurt me how?”

He glanced at her, apparently trying to gauge just how badly public school sex ed had failed her.

“Oh!” She laughed. “You mean because of my hymen?”

The tips of his ears went charmingly pink. “Uh. Yeah.”

“Jackson, I’m really sorry if you’ve been harboring some sort of maidenhead scenario, but that ship has definitely sailed.”

He furrowed his brow, looking confused. “What do you mean?”
“I mean that I’m twenty-five… I’ve lived a life. Ridden bikes, done gymnastics.” She paused. “Used dildos and vibrators.”

He swallowed convulsively and something thwapped her leg. Kaya looked under the covers in confusion and saw that apparently he really didn’t need a ton of recovery time for a man of almost forty. “I’d like to see that some time.”

She grinned. “I’m sure you would. But like I said, I don’t think that you’ll hurt me that much.”

“But even so, you’re really tight, Kaya. You could barely take my fingers.”

“My underwear was in the way!” She wasn’t sure why she was so insistent on this point. “I can take fingers. I take my own all the time. I’ll prove it.”

Before she could think twice or even hesitate, Kaya lifted the blankets and pressed her hand between her legs, swirling the pads of her fingers through the remaining wetness from her earlier orgasms. She was still shockingly sensitive, in a way she’d never known before. She wasn’t sure if it was from the suction of his mouth or from his stubble. Either way, she split her lips open, propping one leg up, and sank two fingers deep inside herself.

“Kaya,” Jackson groaned in a voice that sounded much more broken than she’d ever heard before.

She took her hand away from herself, reached up and took his hand, guiding it between her legs. “Please, Jackson,” she whispered.

If she’d thought her being rough with him earlier, her pushing him and teasing him, had garnered a response, well, it was nothing compared to what her begging him did. Suddenly she found herself pushed onto her back, his mouth latched onto her neck, his fingers tracing her slit. He licked and sucked at her nipples, turning her skin pink and sensitive. She gasped and wiggled as he anchored one arm underneath her and pushed his middle finger inside her.

Kaya called his name as her back arched off the bed. They’d both been right. It wasn’t painful for her to take him, but it was definitely different than having her own fingers inside of her, or even a sex toy. His finger was wide and rough and hot and foreign. He was huffing out breaths, panting and groaning as he started to lightly grind the heel of his hand against her clit. Another finger joined the first and then she was truly stretching around him.

He kissed his way down her body, biting her hip and then licking her clit as he moved two fingers inside her. He curled those fingers as he licked at her and Kaya experienced a feeling she’d never felt before. She wrenched at his hair and arched. So close. So close.

But then he laid his cheek on her thigh, taking his tongue away from her clit. His face was only inches away from her pussy and he seemed entranced by the sight of his fingers inside of her. She looked down his body only to see his hips working against the mattress in the same rhythm as his fingers worked inside of her.

Well, that did it. She’d had enough. Her fingers still tangled in his hair, she tugged him. “Don’t hump the bed. Hump me, for fuck’s sake.”

His eyes darkened and he laughed. “Are you sure?”

She remembered the effect that begging had just had on him. “Please, Jackson. Please. I can’t take it anymore. I need you.”

And just like that he was crawling back up her body, reaching over her to the nightstand, and pulling out a condom. She watched in unbridled curiosity and fascination as he rolled it onto himself. “We can stop at any time. Or go slower. Nothing you do will be wrong. I’m so fucking grateful to be here with you. I never thought I’d ever be this lucky in my whole life.”

He punctuated each statement with a kiss somewhere on her body. Her breasts, behind her ears, her mouth, her neck. She was so wrapped up in him that she barely noticed him rolling the two of them until she found herself straddled across his hips.

“You want me on top?”

His hands traced up the hourglass of her midsection, stopping to let his thumbs play with her nipples and then continuing up to her cheeks, her hair. “At least at first. That way you can control how much you take of me.”

She felt her nerves start up a little bit; this would be easier if he were to just take charge and show her how to do this. For the first time, she was scared of her inexperience showing. She lifted her hips tentatively, but then, there he was, reassuring her. He put one firm hand on her hip and used the other hand to line up his cock with her opening. When he was notched half an inch inside of her, he put both hands on her hips and firmly guided her downward. The tension left her heart. He wasn’t letting her flounder in her innocence. He was still guiding her patiently. Even from the bottom.

The same feeling she’d had in the restaurant swamped her. That as long as she was with Jackson, she was safe. Nothing you do will be wrong. He’d said that to her and meant it. She’d seen it in his eyes. It was that, more than anything, that had her loosening and letting him push her down on his cock.

She took a full inch and then another. She hissed in a lovely, stinging discomfort and paused. He paused, too. His dick was twitching within her, his eyes completely dilated. Nothing you do will be wrong.

In a burst of unexpected surety, Kaya brought the pads of two fingers to her clit, and she stroked herself the exact way that he’d been petting her with his tongue. She let her eyes blur, imagining that it was his mouth against her and not her fingers. She felt herself slide down his hot hardness another two inches.

“Fuck,” Jackson groaned, making the word last for about eight seconds.

His fingers gripped her hips so hard but it felt good, safe. It felt like protection to her. His arms were a sort of armor against the world. Here in this moment, only the two of them made up the entire population. She stroked herself again and let him in further. When she looked down and saw that there were still a few inches to go, impatience got the best of her. She jammed herself the rest of the way down.

They were both silent as their bodies arched against one another, Jackson slamming his head back into the bed and Kaya tossing her face to the ceiling. He canted his hips upward, making her take another impossible centimeter. She gasped and let herself tip forward, experimenting with this new feeling. She’d never felt anything like it.

“So. Full,” she gasped, planting her hands on either side of his head and letting her breasts brush his chest.

“I wasn’t ready,” he groaned, slamming his head back again. “I so wasn’t ready for this shit.”

She wasn’t quite sure what he meant and made a note to ask him later. For now, she was too busy experimenting, twisting her hips in one direction and then the next. She lifted an inch and sat back down, wincing when that brought a little pinch of pain. Figuring that an orgasm would probably just make everything even softer and more forgiving down there, Kaya dropped herself forward, burying her face in his neck and rubbing her clit against whatever part of his body was jammed up against it.

“Kaya,” he choked, his arms banding around her back.

“Mmmm.” She was lost in this experience, barely able to process anything. Maybe this was weird sex, she didn’t know, she’d never done it before. But it didn’t feel weird. It felt wonderful. Their bodies were grinding together and he wasn’t pulling out almost at all. His cock was an insistent pressure inside her, nudging at the deepest place within her. Her clit scraped against his hard body, against the added delicious scratch of his body hair. She was shivering and grinding and hugging him. He was hugging her back, nuzzling her hair, sucking on her earlobe, biting at her neck.

She felt him twitch inside her, let his scent fill her nostrils, reveled in the masculine sounds of both denial and reverence. Unexpectedly, she felt herself start to come with very little lead-up. Strangely, it started deep inside of her and started to radiate outwards, in slow, rolling waves that both flattened and lifted her at once.

When it was over, she collapsed against his chest, amazed he had the strength to roll them over. He braced himself over her, arranging her legs so that they were clasped around his waist.

“That was… there are no words for that,” he told her. “No one has ever fucked me like that in my life.” He winced, as if he was just realizing that he probably shouldn’t bring up other sexual partners while he was still hard inside of her, but she didn’t care. She took the compliment.

“Like what? Describe it to me.”

He grumbled in the back of his throat and pulled out of her by a couple of inches, the most he’d been parted from her since she’d sat down on him. “Like you were trying to climb inside me. Like you were lost with how much you wanted me. Wanted pleasure.” He pushed back into her and she gasped. There was no pain this time, only a lovely electric jolting of sensation as he split her open. He pulled out and did it again.

“More,” she told him. Wanting more of everything. The sex. The dirty words. Him.

“You’re so hot, so wet.” His eyes rolled up for a second. “So tight.”

He lifted one hand and touched his fingers to where they were joined. “You have the prettiest little pussy,” he told her. He started to pump harder, his breath coming in intervals, his mouth open, his teeth bared in a feral grin.

He came down to his elbows and buried his face in her hair. “I’ve thought about this for so fucking long. Every lonely night I imagined being between your perfect legs. What your mouth would taste like. How you’d look at me.”

He took her mouth then, his eyes open as his tongue swept into her. His teeth tugged at her bottom lip and then his tongue was invading her again, their teeth clacking. He started fucking her in earnest then, and Kaya realized just how powerful a creature she currently had inside of her. This man was strong. The bed started creaking underneath them and Kaya couldn’t help but wrap her legs and arms even tighter around him, trying to climb onto him. She started raising her hips, catching the rhythm, meeting him halfway and making their skin smack together.

“I thought about it, too,” she whispered into his ear. “I imagined you coming into my room at night, crawling into bed with me without a word. I imagined you fucking me without a condom. You trying to pull out but I wouldn’t let you. I would feel my own wetness between my legs and pretend it was yours.”

He made a sound like a wounded animal and thrust into her sharply, changing the angle and making her cry out. He bit her lip hard, his tongue warring with hers. “Is that true?” he panted. “For fuck’s sake, please tell me that’s true.”

“It’s true.” And it was. She’d never, in her wildest dreams, imagined telling a single soul about her secret fantasy of Jackson barebacking her. But there it was. Out in the open and she didn’t regret it.

“You wanted me.”

“So badly.”

“You wanted my come inside you.”

“So badly.” On instinct, she bit down on the place where his neck met his shoulder, holding onto him in yet another way. He groaned again and was plunging into her so hard the bed was knocking against the wall. She heard her empty glass of water tumble to the floor. The lamp went next.

His face was buried in her hair, his lips at her ear. “I love you,” he told her. “I love you so much. I’m so unbelievably in love with you.”

Her eyes widened in shock at those words, him never having said them to her before. But almost as soon as he was done saying them he was gritting his teeth and tensing, holding her tighter than he ever had before. She felt his cock jolting inside of her and knew he was coming into the condom. He went lax on top of her, but only for a moment. Seconds later, he was pulling out and crawling down her body, latching his mouth between her legs and kissing her as passionately there as he had on her mouth.

She knew he was soothing her and thanking her and loving her. But he was so freaking good at whatever the hell he was doing that it didn’t take long for her hips to buck upwards and her body to pull tight and unravel in a final, soft, sweet orgasm. She fell to the bed in a sweaty heap.

 

 

***

 

 

Time spun out for Jackson as reality caught up to him. He’d just had sex with Kaya. He’d just had sex with Kaya. He’d just had sex with Kaya. His brain turned over this information a hundred different ways. If it weren’t for the completely relaxed and sated feeling in his body, he might not have believed it, he’d been waiting for it for so long, telling himself it would never happen.

But he’d never felt quite this relaxed before. In all his days on this earth, with all the other women he’d been with, he’d never felt this bone-deep rightness. It was like he’d finally found the right place to come. Right between her legs.

He never wanted to do it any other place. He wanted to live between those long, golden legs. He wanted to make a home in that perfect, pretty pussy. His heart wanted him to roll over and lose himself within her again. But he was a mortal. And he’d had more sex in the last hour than he’d had in the last year. He figured he needed some food and sleep before they could try any of that again.

She wiggled and moaned a little, making him find the energy to lift his head and check on her. “How you doing?”

“Mmm,” she groaned. “No words. So sweaty. So hungry. So sleepy.”

He laughed. “Hopefully that’s a good thing.”

“Yes. Good.”

Grateful for the opportunity to tend to her even further, Jackson yanked them both up from the bed. He basically frog-marched her into the bathroom where he started to draw a bath and sat her down in the filling tub. “Think you can manage to stay afloat while I’m gone?”

“Mmm,” she said, sinking down into the two inches of water.

He laughed again, immensely enjoying the sated, satisfied, relaxed look on her face. He’d never quite seen her look like that before and it was thrilling him to no end.

He was back in less than three minutes with their food from the restaurant, another glass of water, and a beer.

She leaned forward to let him in behind her and that’s how they ended up eating Mexican food in the bathtub, sharing a beer, reveling in the warm water, in the quiet sounds of the water lapping the sides of the tub.

“The sex with you was the best I’ve ever had,” he told her after a while, when the food was cleared away and they’d dragged themselves out of the tub, into sweatshirts and sweatpants, and out into the living room where she was searching for a movie to watch on TV. She turned to look at him. “But this right here, this might be the happiest moment of my life.”

“This moment?”

“Yeah. I mean, every moment with you is so freaking special to me. But it’s also always defined by longing. Wanting. Unquenched desire. But right now I’m close to you, touching you, smelling you. And I’m satisfied. I never thought that could happen.”

She smiled at him. “You’re not feeling quite as tortured as usual?”

“Not at all.”

Her smile turned smug. “Glad I could help.”

He watched her profile as she channel surfed. He’d never been much of a talker after sex so he was surprised that he felt so compelled to keep her chatting. “How are you feeling? I know that can be a big moment.”

She clicked off the TV and turned to look at him, an indecipherable expression in her eyes. “Which moment? The moment where I lost my virginity? Or the moment where you told me you loved me for the first time.”

Jackson felt all the blood run right out of his face. He’d been running their sex through his head on a constant loop since it had happened. But he hadn’t really been thinking about the things he’d said to her. He had just sort of filed it under sex talk. Not that that made it untrue. But perhaps he’d been a little more carried away than he’d thought he’d been.

He leaned forward and dragged his hands over his face.

All he ever wanted was to make things good for this woman. All he ever wanted was to give her as much as he possibly could. All he ever wanted was to not be a dumb putz where she was concerned.

He turned and looked at her, unable to wipe the chagrined look off of his face. “Oh God. I said it during sex. That sucks. Fuck. I wanted to tell you in a romantic way. Give you a memory you’d treasure forever. And instead I blurt it out like… God. This is so embarrassing.”

He dragged his hands over his face again, shutting his eyes against his own stupidity. His eyes popped open again when he heard Kaya laughing.

She had one hand over her mouth, her eyes wide and mirthful. She was swimming in his oversized sweats. He wanted to eat her alive.

“You’re laughing?”

“Well,” she said on a chuckle, cocking her head to one side. “It’s pretty funny. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you quite so off-kilter. You should see your hair right now.”

Considering he’d just been tugging at it in distress, he wouldn’t be surprised in the least if it looked fucking ridiculous. He tried to get his mind to understand her reaction. “You’re not mad that that’s the way I told you?”

“Mad? No.”

“Skeptical? Irritated?” He swallowed. “Disappointed?”

Her eyes searched his for a long moment. “Jackson, did you mean it when you said it?”

“Yes,” he answered immediately, giving no hesitation because there wasn’t a molecule worth of hesitation in his body. “I meant every word of it.”

“Then, no, I’m none of those things. Instead, I’m happy. Relieved. Warm. Satisfied. Snuggly.” On the last few words, she crawled the short distance over to him and snuggled up against him. “Now, what should we watch?”

He wrapped his arms around her, nice and firm, and tried to convince his brain that this was all real. That this was all happening.

They watched a shitty action movie, raided his freezer for ice cream, and fell into bed. They slept the night, not making love again until the morning when he woke up to one of his all-time favorite fantasies, Kaya naked in his bed, kissing on his neck and putting her hand in his underwear. He spooned her and took her from behind, loving her slowly, luxuriously, until she came, and then he rolled her over, finishing as furiously as his body demanded of him. He told her he loved her over and over again, because apparently he couldn’t be inside her without telling her.

She didn’t say it back, but for Jackson, that was okay. He felt it in the way they came together. He felt it in the way their bodies fit with one another. They were mates, and with that, love inevitably followed. If she didn’t love him yet, she would. For the first time in his life, he was utterly certain.