Somehow Amelia had gotten four whole days off starting Friday thanks to Bonnie saying she’d take on some of her work. She was going to spend four days in a cabin with Kai and she was actually excited. It was what Disneyland must be like for five-year olds, not that she knew many, but Amelia watched those cute videos online.

“Are you going to bring sexy lingerie?” Bonnie asked. She was sprawled out on Amelia’s bed, watching her go through everything she owned. “I strongly suggest buying more clothes. Always buy more clothes. It’s the right answer to everything.”

Amelia glanced back at her friend and rolled her eyes. “I don’t have a lot of clothes on purpose.”

“Yeah, yeah I know – you’re the minimalist, capsule wardrobe type. But you’re regretting it now, aren’t you?”

She was, but she’d never admit it. And it wasn’t like she could borrow anything from Bonnie. The girl was like five inches taller than her with an ass for days. Amelia sighed. After a year of squats her ass was nothing to sneeze at, but she just wasn’t as voluptuous as Bonnie.

She flipped through the clothes hanging in her closet again. Bonnie disappeared downstairs and then came back up with ice cream and two spoons. She threw herself on Amelia’s bed and then rolled over onto her stomach to watch the struggle.

“At least you have cute winter gear,” Bonnie said. “All that saving paid off.”

Amelia nodded in agreement. It had been expensive, but she’d been able to buy what she needed and have it tailored to her short frame. The knee high winter boots had been half her paycheck, but totally worth it for the fur lining. Amelia loved the cold, but she wasn’t stupid about it. It could easily kill you if you didn’t dress properly.

“I can’t believe you don’t have one sexy piece of lingerie.” Bonnie took a massive bite of the rocky road and watched Amelia rip clothes off hangers with amusement.

“I didn’t realize it mattered,” Amelia said. “I buy what I need and use it until I actually need more. You know that.”

“But still…no thigh-highs? You only have two sexy dresses for when we go out. How do you function?”

Bonnie had an entire room as a closet so her confusion was understandable, but Amelia just couldn’t handle that much stuff. Not when she could very easily have to move one day when the universe came back to fuck her. And it would, she just didn’t know how yet.

“I function just fine,” Amelia snapped, putting her entire wardrobe into her suitcase. “A black dress is timeless and so is a red one.”

“Everything you own fits in there,” Bonnie said, impressed. “I wish I could downsize like that.”

“My workout clothes are in the drawers,” Amelia muttered, finding her warm socks and pajamas – of the functional – not sexy variety.

“Still, I have way too many clothes. Here, come eat with me.” Bonnie patted the spot next to her.

Amelia sat, grabbing the second spoon and digging in. She was packed and ready to go, but she felt anxious.

“I’m really proud of you for going on this trip,” Bonnie told her. “That’s a really big deal.”

Amelia shrugged, going in for another massive bite. “I’m nervous. What if I do something stupid?”

“Well, he’s giving you the keys to his car right?”

“Yeah, but there’s probably no cell reception and what if he’s taking me up into the mountains to wear my skin or something?” Amelia’s mind raced with all the horrible, gory possibilities she’d ever seen in every movie or T.V. show.

“Just bring your gun then, you crazy gun lover. Those things make me so nervous.”

Amelia got up and took the locked box out from under her bed, plus the separate ammunition. It had been the first thing she’d purchased after getting her own place. Part of her had never felt safe living alone, no matter how much she loved the freedom.

“Didn’t you take self-defense classes too?” Bonnie asked, eyeing the gun case uncomfortably until Amelia slipped it in the suitcase and pushed both away.

Okay, that was actually the first thing she’d paid for. Then it had been a gun permit and safety classes to go with her shiny new pistol. She bought that before anything else, when she only had a mattress on the floor.

After David, Amelia had never wanted to be that helpless again. He’d never physically hurt her, but when she stopped and thought about it, how many times had she sat in his lap, let him grab her ass, or have sex with her because it would keep him from getting mad?

No wonder she’d lost it on that waitress.

“Yes, I did take self-defense classes, but we will be isolated and in the snow. I hate driving on a sunny day, let alone in two feet of snow.” Her parents had instilled a ‘healthy’ dose of fear in her.

Bonnie shrugged and put down her spoon. “Then don’t go.”

“Bon, you know it’s not that.”

Her friend crossed her arms in irritation. “I know you don’t want to let anything good happen to you in case it gets taken away, but that’s no way to live Amelia.”

The words stung, but Bonnie was right. Amelia took a bite of the rocky road and savored the chocolaty deliciousness while she considered her real issues. “Fine, I’m afraid we’re going to go on this trip and I’m going to fall in love with him and do something stupid like I did before. Then I’ll lose my freedom and independence.”

Then she flopped onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Why did she have to be so weird?

“Ground rules babe, all you have to do is give him your ground rules and you’ll be fine. The gun will keep you safe in case he does try to wear your skin, and you’ll have his wheels. I can come check in on you Saturday if you like.”

Amelia silently thanked her best friend for not asking what had happened before. She’d told Kai some of the details after a hefty dose of whiskey and the strange way he always concentrated so fully on her. She didn’t know how Bonnie would take the gory details, but Amelia wanted to work through it a bit herself first.

It was easier to talk to Bonnie than Amelia ever remembered it being. She knew that was Kai’s doing. “I’d actually love if you came up and met him. It matters to me what you think.”

Bonnie grinned. “To be honest I’m dying to meet him. I can’t believe he actually cooked for you. And seriously, I don’t think it would be a bad thing if you fell in love. You deserve something good. I’ve known you for a few years now and you’ve kept everyone at arm’s length. Kai sounds perfect for you.”

Amelia sighed like a little school girl with a crush. The biggest smile ever was on her face as she remembered the taste of his sweet potato casserole. “The whole night was pretty amazing.”

Bonnie squealed like they were in high school. “Did you guys do it?”

Amelia snorted and pushed her friend back, careful of the ice cream. “No, he had to leave for some work thing, but he sure knows how to use his hands.” It actually made her giggle to gossip with Bonnie and it felt good. Like a weight lifted off her shoulders and all her worries kind of just fell to the wayside.

“Oh, that’s my kind of guy,” Bonnie said with a wink. “Does he have a friend?”

Amelia shrugged. “I’ll let you know.”

She still wanted to know what Kai did for a living that required he leave at night like he had, and why his eyes turned silver. Amelia wasn’t going to let it drop until she had enough answers to satisfy her anxiety, but she also felt bad for Kai.

She would probably never be normal, or fully confident in their relationship, and Amelia worried that would wear on him until he simply gave up and walked away. And when it did happen, she wouldn’t blame him either.

Amelia drove people away and sometimes it felt like that was the only thing she was good at.