Sam

I thought I’d suffered enough in this lifetime, but I’m literally dying inside. How could the perfect day with Layne be so beautiful and painful at the same time?

My wolf wants to fight, but there’s no one to tear apart. No one to punish for the illness she’s suffered. The one that will steal her from this life far too soon.

I keep her in my arms or as close to my side for the rest of the adventure—the champagne toast after our landing, and the ride back.

Even so, I’m retreating into myself. Without a fight, my wolf wants the next best thing—to run. The clank of machinery whirs in my ears, getting louder and louder by the minute.

Somehow, I get us back to Laurie’s guest house, but I can hardly hear Layne when she talks, and I have no idea if I even answer.

My phone rings and I pick it up.

“Tell me I’m awesome.” A baby coos behind Kylie’s gloating voice.

I step outside to take the call away from Layne. “What did you find?”

“Another lab. I’m pretty sure it’s headquarters.”

“Where?”

“It’s a private lab, but I’ve got a funding trail that shows money from Mexico and the U.S. Government.”

“Tell me where.” My heart races.

This.

Going after Smyth. This is exactly what my wolf needs. I wanted someone to punish, and now I have him. He’s not responsible for Layne’s illness, but he did send men who tried to kill her. Close enough. This is the one thing I can do to make a difference for Layne. For the world.

“Hang on a sec.”

Jackson gets on the line. “You’re not going in there alone.” He uses his alpha tone with me, which checks my aggression slightly.

“No. I have backup.” It’s not entirely a lie. Nash agreed to go with me.

Jackson is silent for a moment. He probably knows I’m full of shit. “I don’t like this. I want you to wait for Garrett and the pack. They’ll want to be there, too.”

“Where is the fucking lab?” I bite out.

“Temecula.” Reluctance hangs in Jackson’s tone, but I recognize my victory. They’re going to give me the address.

“Garrett and the pack can probably get a flight first thing in the morning. Or they can drive over tonight.”

Fuck that. I’m not waiting until morning.

“Send me the address.” I attempt an alpha tone back at him.

“Don’t go off half-cocked. I know this is personal for you. That’s when you make the worst decisions.”

“Yeah, it is personal. That’s why you’re going to send me that address. Now.”

Jackson curses. I don’t usually get so mouthy with my alpha, which I think is why he knows how important this is to me. “Kylie will text it. Leave your goddamn phone on so we can reach you.”

“I will.” I’m breathless, adrenaline already kicking through my system. “Thanks.”

When I end the call and turn around, I find Layne standing in the doorway, a stricken expression on her face.

Damn. Not the way I wanted to end our date night.

“You’re running off to risk your life again, aren’t you?” Her tone is flat, dead.

Later, I would realize I should’ve paid more attention to her reaction, should’ve listened to the pinpricks of warning tingling my spine. But I’m high on wolf aggression, victory nearly in my jaws.

Layne may not understand, but I’m doing this for her.

“I’ll be careful.” I shove my hands in my pockets.

She steps down from the doorway. “Sam, you don’t have to do this.”

“I have to stop Smyth.”

“I know you do, and I want that, too. But what are the chances of you walking into Smyth’s headquarters and walking out alive?”

I look away. “I’m taking Nash.”

“Seriously?”

“What do you want me to do, Layne? Just give up? This is my whole life.” I make the mistake of glancing at her, just in time to see pain slice across her face.

“I thought I was in your life now.”

“Layne—”

She steps close, puts her hands on either side of my face. “Sam, I love you. I want this for you. Just... don’t throw away your life. Let’s be smart about this. Make a solid plan.”

I close my eyes. Her fingers are so gentle on my face. I breathe in her scent, memorizing her.

“I’m dying, but you don’t have to,” she whispers. “You have so much to live for. Please.”

I step away.

“Sam,” she begs, and I turn from her broken voice.

“I need to do this. I was born in a cage. I swore revenge when I was a teen. I need to see this through.”

“Let us help you. You have people who care about you. Don’t—”

I cut her off. “Stop. I’m not risking anyone else.”

“Just yourself. And Nash.”

“Yeah,” I say. “But it’s our choice.” And we’re expendable.

She lifts her chin. “If you leave, I won’t be here when you get back.”

So this is how it’s gonna be?

“Layne, I need you to stay here. I need to know you’re safe.” I’ll make it up to her when I get back. Just like I did after the fight.

“No. You’re not listening to me, Sam. I’m asking you to make a choice. Me or your half-cocked plan for vengeance.”

“Layne, I have to—”

“Save it.” She holds up a hand. “You can drop me at the airport on your way. I’ll go to London to stay with my dad.”

“Wait—”

“There’s nothing more to discuss. Just let me know when it’s safe to return. If you make it out alive.”

Somehow, I make my lips move. “I will. I’ll make it safe for you.”

“No, don’t pretend this is for me, Sam. This isn’t for me. This is you being selfish and throwing away your life and everything we had.” She shrugs. “But that’s your choice. I choose something different.”

The grinding gears rasp in my ears, making it impossible to think.

Sorrow etches her lovely face. She lays a hand on my chest and some of the noise recedes. “It’s better this way, Sam.” She leans up and kisses my cheek. “I wouldn’t have wanted you to see me die. We have our beach day to remember each other by.”

Pain explodes in my chest, dims my vision. Incredibly, my practical mind still works, even though my body’s gone numb. I call Kylie back.

“I need another favor. Can you get a fake passport and plane ticket to London for Dr. Layne Zhao? You should have her information and photo in the file.”

Kylie pauses and I hope to fate she won’t ask anymore, because I’m literally turning to dust here. “I can get that done tonight and have it delivered by tomorrow. Where do you want it sent?”

I blow out a sigh of relief and give her Laurie’s address.

When I hang up, I attempt and fail at offering a smile to Layne. “Kylie will have the passport and plane ticket delivered here tomorrow. Please just stay put and let Laurie protect you until you’re out of the country?”

She nods, once.

“I have cash in the van. I’ll get some for your trip.”

“Thanks.” Her voice is weary. Her face has gone pale. I want to drop to my knees and beg her forgiveness, but I think she might be right.

Even if I do survive my revenge on Smyth, we have no future. I’m too broken a wolf to watch her die. I’d lose the last of my sanity, going crazy because I can’t do anything. And she’d lose her dignity having me watch.

I can hang onto the memory of her happiness today. On the beach. In the hot air balloon.