Chapter Five
Isabella surveyed the landscape as they headed over the last hill and into the small town of Bear Paw River. The lush greens and blues and the mountains behind them sang to her. “Wow, this is gorgeous!”
Caleb turned and gave her a deep smile as he parked the truck in a spot on Main Street. “Wait till you see our running grounds.”
“When do we get to go there?”
“After we meet everyone. Then I’ll take you to Mrs. Gibbons’s bed and breakfast and get us each a room.”
Why did that disappoint her? Sure, they didn’t know each other very well yet, and sure, he was trying to give her space. But still...staying overnight in the hotel last night had been really nice. He was sweet, kind, sexy, and he sawed timbers in his sleep. Just like a big guy like him should. And when he had carried her back to the room and bundled the blankets up to her chin… The way he kissed her forehead and tried to tiptoe through the room to keep from waking her up. Like she said before. Sweet.
And when she’d had another nightmare about her time at the prison, he had surged into her bed, pulled her back to his front, and held her, softly talking to her about real things, things to help her hone in on reality. She was free; it had only been a nightmare. She’d fallen asleep snuggled up against his warm, sturdy chest. The sound of his snoring became a rhythm soothing her back to sleep every time she woke up. Because she had been safe, secure. In Caleb’s arms.
And she wasn’t so sure she wanted to be away from him. He made her feel safe. Which was stupid, because all she had griped about growing up, had been getting away from people trying to hold her or stifle her. But Caleb’s arms didn’t stifle, they empowered. They made her feel freer than she ever had. But she couldn’t become his mate. Not yet. She needed her freedom, needed to be able to work the past month of crap out of her system. Know she was still in one piece. And if she wasn’t, she’d fix that, too. But she wasn’t giving herself over as a burden to someone else, even if he was her mate.
She sniffed and smiled as his scent surrounded her, wafting into her nostrils. Caleb was all man. All bear. All hers—if she wanted him. But she wasn’t ready. She needed time to heal, find herself again, gain the freedom that had been ripped from her. And he’d have to respect her wishes.
Now, how was she going to manage sleeping without him tonight without having those terrible nightmares? Even worse, how was she going to keep from begging him to stay with her, like some wolf pup who was afraid of the dark. No, she needed to wolf-up, pull her big-girl panties on, and apply any other I am woman hear me howl phrase which would work for the moment. She needed to do this on her own.
“You okay?” Concern flashed within his chocolate eyes, and she almost melted right there.
“Yeah, I just need to get my bearings straight. When do my parents get here? Is Zach here yet? And what about the guy you’re supposed to meet with?”
“Zach and Nissa are waiting at my aunt’s dojo. I called them a few hours ago to let them know when we’d arrive. He’s chomping at the bit to see you. Your mother should already be here, and Stone, I don’t know. I’m waiting on him to call me.”
“Well, let’s go. I want to meet your kin and see my family.”
He got out and rushed over to her door to help her out before she could even get it open. Dang, it should rankle her pride, but she liked it. She liked it when he did stuff like this. If he got too overbearing, she’d make sure to knock him down a peg or two, but for now, she’d embrace it.
They walked past a few parked cars and trucks and opened the door to the small dojo.
A female bear shifter—maybe her mother’s age—surged forward and pulled Caleb into a big hug. Before she could release him, another female with pink-streaked jet-black hair and tattoos barreled into the mix. Followed by another female and a male only an inch or two shorter than Caleb. Their hugs, laughter, and tears filled Izzy’s heart. She could tell they’d missed him dearly. Even though Caleb held back, he did finally return the embrace.
“Izzy!” She almost suffocated when a pair of large arms swept her off her feet and into his chest. The smell of wolf and black bear suffused her as Zach continued the stranglehold on her poor chest.
“Can’t...breathe, dork…” She elbowed him in the chest as hard as she could, and he loosened his hold with a wry grin. But he still didn’t let her down.
His eyes darkened with sadness and anger. “I thought I’d never see you again. Between Caleb, Bo, and Stone, I think I’m mostly caught up with the whole Kentucky shifter facility stuff. But I still don’t understand where you were for almost a year before you got taken. What happened?”
“Wasn’t Mikayla sharing my messages with you? I texted her every week. I even left you guys a note.” Her voice became more and more shrill with each word, and she tried to calm herself. “She didn’t tell you?” A shiver racked her body, and Zach pulled her in for a gentle hug. “She said you guys were fine, but pissy as all hell, and to keep using her as my middle person if I didn’t want to get an earful—from you, especially!”
“No, kiddo. Nothing. We thought…” His grip tightened. “We didn’t know what to think. I’m going to kill the bitch myself.”
“It’s not necessary, Wacky. I’m okay now, thanks to Caleb.” She nodded toward Caleb and a few other people lingering behind them, giving them space to greet each other. “Can I stand now?”
“I don’t know.” His gaze became playful. “If I put you down, are you going to run off again?”
A young, blonde female about Izzy’s age came up and stroked his arm in a soothing way.
“We’ll have to get you updated on everything,” he said. “But, for now, all that matters is you’re safe. We’ll all have a nice dinner, and you will go back home with Mom tomorrow.”
“I’m not going back.” The growl erupted from her, and her teeth elongated. A loud intake of collective breaths sounded around her, and she calmed her wolf. “Sorry. I haven’t shifted in a while, and I seem to be a bit off-kilter.” She took a deep cleansing breath, using the moment to scent all those in the room. The room was filled with faint remnants of both humans and shifters, young and old. But only shifters stood here now. Several bears, a few wolves, and a tiger. “Sorry. It’s been a long trip.”
They all nodded, understanding in their gazes.
“Okay, we can talk more later. I didn’t mean to stress you out.” Zach motioned the woman next to him forward. “This is my mate, Nissa. Nissa, meet my little sister, Isabella.”
She shook the other woman’s hand and smiled. Nissa was energetic, had a good strong bear inside her, and love for Zach poured from her.
“Call me Izzy, please. Have you guys met Caleb? My knight in furry armor?”
Caleb frowned and shuffled his feet, lowering his head.
After another round of handshakes and hugs, a tall, muscular, tiger shifter strode forward.
“I’m Stone.” He clasped hands with Caleb. “I’m glad you made it out safely. Caleb, Isabella, are you ready for our debriefing?”
“One second, asshole. My sister just got out of a fucking prison. She isn’t strong enough or rested enough to be doing any of the work you should have done from the get-go!” Zach growled and got up in the taller man’s face. “You should have saved her the second you found out she was there!”
“Hey! I’m right here.” Izzy got between the men and shoved Zach back. Granted, he outweighed her by fifty pounds, but she had little-sister privileges. “Get a grip on your wolf. I can take care of myself. I did so for almost a year, okay?” She softened her voice and reached up to stroke his hard cheek. “I’m okay, now. I’ll rest when I need to. But my first priority is helping those other shifters, and if I can be of any assistance, you can bet your furry ass I will do so. Get me?”
He frowned down at her, but his breathing slowed. “I don’t like it.”
“You don’t have to like it, Wacky.” She again inserted the nickname she knew would make him smile. The corner of his lips turned up, and he released a long sigh. “Now that we’ve established I’m a big girl and don’t need an older brother coddling me, I’d like to address my own needs.”
He stepped back.
“I’m going to go get a quick shower and a snack. Can we hook up this afternoon?”
“Sure, yeah. I can work with the rest of my team and talk with Caleb while we wait for you. I’m sorry we didn’t get you out sooner.” Stone’s eyes filled with remorse. “If I’d known who you were…”
“Who do you think I am?”
“The princess of the largest wolf pack in the United States, third in line to the throne of the Royal Herne Clan. My daughter.” The feminine voice cut through the room. Her mother.
Izzy frowned and turned toward the speaker whose presence should have comforted her. But seeing her mother, standing there by herself—no father in sight, how typical—brought a pang of anger to her chest. “Mom.” Straightening her shoulders, she greeted the woman whose amber eyes were filled with tears. She didn’t want to hug the woman who leaned toward her. She missed us, her wolf said, practically jumping up and down inside her at the sight of their beloved parent.
“Your father thought you were dead, but I knew the truth. I would have felt it if you had…” The beautiful, older woman shook herself and straightened into a more regal posture. What the heck? Though royal in status, her mother had never been the sort to act like it. She was more the people’s princess/wolf’s queen, whatever. Warm, caring, emotional, a bright light surrounding her that easily brought shifters to peace… Her father was more of the Don’t show emotions in public guy, especially around other shifters. Then again, things had changed since Lexi’s death.
“Are you…” Her mother fumbled for words the first time in Izzy’s experience, her eyebrows pinched together. “Are you well?”
Well, two could play at this game. Her mother would do anything to avoid a scene. If she told her how much it hurt her to know they knew she was alive yet didn’t make a single move to come find her, she would fuel her own rage, which would in turn hurt her mother. And her father? All he cared about was the pack and hiding behind his walls. Of course, he wouldn’t search for her or come to greet her upon finding out she was safe. Resentment built in her, leaving a foul taste in her mouth and throat. Her mother had always stood by her father, but Izzy had been a little girl when their family broke apart. One tragedy after another, and mates stick together, even to the detriment of their remaining living children, right?
Stiffening her spine, as her father had taught her since she was old enough to walk, Izzy bowed her head in respect. She might be angry at her mother, wish she could tell her how lost and alone she felt. How all she thought about during her time at that vile place, were memories of her freaking mother holding her. In her arms, softly singing about Disney princesses and rocking her after a nightmare. But those had stopped long ago. Izzy was a big girl now. And big girls didn’t need mommy to keep the monsters at bay. Women took care of their own damn monsters—even the human ones who tested on them, beat them, and… Tears filled her eyes. “I missed you.”
Her mother swooped in, engulfing her in her embrace. The scent of sandalwood overpowered Izzy, and she cried, allowing the moment to take over. The hug ended much too quickly, but soon they straightened into a posture of calm control. Like mother like daughter. Everyone else waited several feet away, giving them space to reconnect. Right now, Izzy needed to process, figure out what her next step was. And it was definitely not going back to the compound with her mother. She’d explain that as soon possible. Izzy had escaped the second prison in her life, and there was no way she was going back to the first. Not willingly. Besides, she still had work to do. She had inside knowledge about the facility—from a prisoner’s perspective—and she would do whatever it took to help the others.
“What’s your plan to free the rest of the prisoners?” Izzy stepped toward Stone, and he gave her a quick dip of his head—the kind of movement she’d seen other shifters give her parents. “That’s not necessary, Stone. Seriously, I’m not more deserving of respect than any other shifter.” She wrinkled her nose and grinned at him, hoping to lighten his serious mood. “Except for cats.”
She giggled at the way his eyes rounded and his mouth shaped into a huge O. If she had been an alpha male, likely he would have been offended, and fur would have flown. But he snorted a half laugh, half choke before finally grinning down at her. “I can see you are as strong as Caleb said you were. I apologize for offending you. Truce?”
“No offense taken. I just hate being treated like a porcelain doll. Yeah, truce. Give me some time to get my head on straight and I’ll come give you everything I can remember.”
He pulled his fist over his heart. So many alphas did this with their own packs and with her father. But never with her before. A sign of great respect. He saw her as an equal.
She fisted her hand and thumped twice over her heart, never taking her gaze from his. Another thing she had watched her father and brother do over the years. Eye contact was the biggest form of respect. Or a way to make sure your opponent wasn’t going to kill when you turned your back.
When he turned to address the real royal in the room—her mom—she addressed Caleb. “Mind showing me this place I’m going to be staying?”
He took her hand. “Let’s go.”
“I’ll be back in a few hours. Thank you, everyone.”
Her mom handed her a small satchel. “Some things you might need.” Most likely clothes and money, knowing her mother. “We can meet later this afternoon, after you’ve rested.”
Izzy impulsively threw her arms around her mom’s neck and reached for Zach. A quick family hug that brought tears to her eyes. Her father once again missed out on an important family moment. He had other priorities.
~.~
The pain increased as the darkness consumed her. Blaring music in her head. Numbers never ending, in no particular sequence, poured through her frantic mind as she bit her lip and tried to keep from crying out. Bossman smiled at her from the corner, waiting for her to do something. Frankie was doing his freaky creeped-out thing where he cracked his neck like five times then his shoulders then his wrists, every part of his body. Crack, giggle, crack, snort. “Look at her vitals. This is amazing. You were right when you thought she might be unique,” Frankie told Bossman. “Think we can make her shift?” Heavy breathing with a tinge of psychotic murmuring. Oh my God. Frankie was getting off on all of this.
It’s just a dream. Wake up. She begged her mind to shut off the details, but it wouldn’t obey. Each scene played out in vivid detail. Her capture. Waking up only to be drugged again. The needles, the ice-cold fluids sinking into her veins. Her wolf’s growls and rage at her treatment while she impotently lay there wishing they would go away. Then red, black, brown, pink. The blackness disappeared, and she saw blood. Even in her dream state she was doped to the gills with the fricking stuff that made her see double and almost puke. It’s a dream, she reminded herself louder. Wake up! Blood everywhere. So many dead men. Some shifters some humans, seemingly all piled one on top of each other. Which were memories, and which were nightmares? The nightmare of Romina being savagely tortured was definitely not real. Romina had been kept in Bolivia while she was flown stateside. What about the dream about her mother and Zach clawing each other’s throats out? All nightmares. Please stop, she begged again and again, screaming herself hoarse.
When the final nightmare came, she almost passed out. Could you pass out while you were sleeping? It felt like it. Like she could tumble into the huge black pits in Bossman’s eyes and keep falling forever. Malcolm, the meanest guard lay in his own blood. Her wolf claws sparkled above him as if she had doused her hand in a gallon of hot-pink glitter nail polish. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t get away.
She screamed.
Strong arms wrapped around her body, and she fought. She had to get away before they hurt her any more before they turned her into a monster. She lashed out, bit the arm then stopped when she heard a low curse.
“Hey, hey, it’s all right, Princess. You’re having a nightmare. Come on back to me, baby.”
Princess? Baby? The smell of woods and musk? Caleb. She released his arm and sat up. The room was brightly lit, and Caleb was sitting next to her on her sweat-soaked bed. A small line of red soaked through his shirt, and she sniffled as the tears built.
“Sorry.” She allowed Caleb to pick her up and place her on his lap, his big, comforting body surrounding her now.
“Another nightmare, Princess?” His growly voice soothed her, and she burrowed into his warm chest.
Why was she acting like this? It had been horrifying, and vile and, even the scents had made it into her dream. But it was a nightmare. That’s what happened when you got kidnapped, tortured, and treated like an animal. She was definitely going to have to work through some PTSD after all of this. But why was she allowing this male to comfort her?
Yes, he smelled amazing, since the masking scent he’d used had mostly worn off. He smelled like the woods right after a hard thunderstorm. Running in wolf form, as night descended. His musk sent her hormones into overdrive. But her wolf still hadn’t accepted him as her mate. And, as a royal, wasn’t she supposed to do things a little quicker, a little easier than other shifters?
She snuggled against him. His low voice rumbling through his chest as he spoke about pretty much anything under the sun. He made no sense, going from chess, to movie quotes, to climate change, and potential weather disasters in the far-away future. He just talked. And she breathed, scented, relaxed as the fear finally dissipated.
Why couldn’t this male be her mate? He was brave and strong and smart. Everything she would have wanted in a man. But her wolf had not claimed him yet. And she had a bit too much to get through before she considered settling down. She had to get past these nightmares. Had to help save the captive shifters. What happened to poor Romina? Then there were the current issues.
Why had her mother been in town talking to the healer? Why could she still taste the blood on her lips? Why was her aggression building, especially toward her family? Izzy had sniped at Zach during dinner, and even sworn. She didn’t swear. Not much anyway.
What’s wrong with us? she asked, but her wolf grunted and rolled over and went back to sleep. Okay, fine. She’d regroup while on the lap of the big grizzly who had saved her.
A vision of sinking her teeth into his jugular flitted through her brain, and she sat up quickly, wrenching from his grasp.
“You okay, Princess?”
“I need some space, okay?”
He cocked his head as she stood up. Heck, with him sitting she could see eye to eye with the large man.
“Thanks for coming…” She paused to glance at the connecting door between their rooms. It looked like it had been wrenched open with the strength of a grizzly. “I appreciate it, but this is my room and I need to get through this myself.”
A frown appeared as his eyebrows sank. “You don’t have to go through anything by yourself, you’re my m—”
“Don’t say it!” She took a deep breath and reminded herself it was the middle of the night and everyone else was sleeping. “I don’t want to talk about…the...M stuff right now. Thank you for waking me. I really do appreciate it.”
His gaze softened as he stood.
“My head hurts, and I want to go back to sleep.” Stop lying to him! Her wolf snapped. “I’m sorry, the truth is all of this scares me. I appreciate you helping me get past the occasional nightmare, but I’m not ready for more. And I don’t want to give you false hope or lead you on.”
“Get some rest.” He smiled. “Mind if I leave the door between our rooms ajar in case you need anything? I won’t get false hope, promise.”
The fact that he would stand guard over her dreams, without anything in return, made her want to cry in relief.
“Thank you.”
“Good night, Princess. Call out if you need me.” He lumbered through the door, leaving it open a crack.
After filling a glass of water at the bathroom sink, she set it on the nightstand and climbed back into bed. The overhead fixture now blazed as bright as noon. Maybe the nightmares would hold off if it was too light.
As she snuggled into the covers, she listened to the deep breathing of her next-door neighbor. She had to get past all of this junk. Get some answers and fix herself. Only then, when she was normal again, would she even consider getting to know the guy who called her his mate.