There should have been something soothing about sitting on the couch in Charlotte and Rebel’s house. Something familiar. I’d taken up that particular post since the day my sister and I had packed our stuff and moved in with the guy. Wolf. Whatever. I’d sat in that exact spot while they talked about their days, while they planned their futures, and while they argued. And man, could they argue. Sometimes Rebel’s eighteenth-century ideals clashed hard with my sister’s twenty-first-century ones. Still, they worked things out and stayed together, building a team of two that could weather anything life threw at them, it seemed. And they’d always included me in their discussions and plans.

I’d sat in my spot when they told me Elijah was coming—a nephew that I would never see but would still love with all my heart. I’d sat in that spot when they’d told me about mates and claimings and what my bond with Angelita meant. And in the last couple of years, Angelita had sat right at my side as my family and hers grew more entwined because of us. I’d sat in that spot through some of the biggest moments of my life.

So I should have been comfortable and at peace. Instead, I bounced my leg and picked at what felt like a ridge of fabric under my arm. I couldn’t sit still. Something was up with Angelita. She’d been distracted for days, ever since the morning run she’d taken with Rebel and Bez. Not just distracted…distant. Not physically. No, that aspect of our relationship was as strong as ever. The more emotional stuff was there, too. But the rest…the talking. The attention. The feeling that I knew everything about her…gone. Something was wrong.

“Where’s Angelita?” Charlotte asked. Elijah squeaked and squealed, which meant he was about to be fed. The kid seemed happiest when he got to eat. Hell, he was just plain happy most of the time. Me…not so much.

“She went to the city with Bez. Something about a used bookstore she wanted to visit.” Distance.

“I’m surprised you didn’t go with her.”

I grunted, avoiding that topic. I’d wanted to go, was more than willing to stumble around after her. But she’d wanted to spend time with Bez. Another thing that didn’t sit well with me—she never wanted to spend time alone with Bez when she visited me. Not that I blamed her or would have gotten in the way—he was the closest thing she had to a father these days. No, it wasn’t that I wanted to stop them. It was more that she seemed determined to get away from me this morning, and that fact had been eating at me for hours.

“Do you ever—” I froze, unable to say the words. Or unwilling.

But my sister wasn’t really one to let people get away with hiding. “Do I ever what? Need space from Rebel?”

It was irritating how smart she was. “No. Do you ever feel left behind by him because you’re not…like him?”

She went silent. Elijah gurgled and made smacking noises as he ate whatever she was feeding him. The wind whistled past the windows, and the sound of a dog barking somewhere too far away to worry about punctuated the otherwise still house. Too still. Too empty, as well.

“You want her to change you into one of them,” Charlotte said. Not asking.

I nodded, wishing for the first time in a while that I could actually see her face. That I could gauge her reaction with my own eyes.

“Are you sure you want that commitment?”

There was only one answer. “Yes. I’m not worried about my commitment to her. I love her, she’s my mate. That’s not the issue.”

“So then, what is the issue?”

“She doesn’t want to turn me.”

Charlotte hummed. “She’s afraid of losing you.”

“Yeah.”

“You understand why, right?”

“Of course.” And I did. It was something we’d talked about a hundred times—her losing her family and me losing most of mine. “But I’m more fragile as a human.”

“Except during the turning.”

“I’ll make it through.”

“And if you don’t?”

Her simple question pulled me up short.

“Julian, not all humans have the strength to live through that, or they finish the turning and their minds and personalities have completely disintegrated.” She made a cooing noise and something rattled, which probably meant Elijah was done eating and she was setting him up for playtime on the floor.

“Bring him to me,” I said, craving a distraction. Elijah’s warm weight landed on my lap a few seconds later, and his sweet baby smell filled my senses. “Hey, buddy. Did you have a good snack?”

“He did,” Charlotte answered for him as she moved away from me. Probably heading to the chair closest to the windows. If this was my spot, that was hers. “He’s a good eater. Reminds me of you when you were little.”

“You always say that.”

“And I always mean it.” She grew quiet again as Elijah grabbed hold of my face and pulled me closer.

I kissed his nose, smiling when he giggled. “She’s going to remember every little thing about you, kid.”

“Just like I do with you,” Charlotte said. “And just like Angelita will as well.”

“She’s my mate, not my family.”

“Yes, but she loves you. My memories come from that place—both the good ones and the bad ones.”

“Char—”

“Do you know how hard it was to watch you suffer?”

I couldn’t answer her, a fact she seemed to understand because she certainly didn’t stop.

“I’d just lost Mom and Dad, and I was so relieved that I at least got to keep you. But then the doctors started trying to explain what was going on and what you’d lost. You nearly died twice while I watched.”

“But I didn’t.”

“Right. But you’re not the same boy I knew. You never will be.” She sighed. “Julian, you are so strong. Fiercely independent and smart in ways that eclipse me. But there are still times when I miss pieces of you that we lost that day.”

“My sight.”

“No, not that. You’ve never let your blindness get in your way. More your easy laugh and carefree attitude. You were so confident and free before the accident, but afterward, a lot of that disappeared.”

“And you think that’s why she’s reluctant? She’s afraid I’ll change enough for her to…lose me?”

“What do you think?” Her footsteps moved closer, and Elijah squealed as she lifted him from my lap.

“I think she’s afraid, but I’m not sure why.”

“Men are clueless, Elijah,” she said in a singsong voice. “She’s not just afraid of losing you from her life entirely. She’s afraid of losing bits of you that she loves. Bits that love her just as fiercely. If you knew something would change her personality and possibly make her not care about you anymore, would you want that?”

Easy answer. “No.”

“So?”

“So I need to try to understand where she’s coming from and stop pushing her.” I hated when she was so right.

“Sounds smart to me.”

But as Charlotte walked away with Elijah, I still didn’t feel as if I’d solved anything. Angelita’s reasons for not changing me were clear enough. It was her reasons for pulling away over the last few days that were bothering me so much. Where was she, and why didn’t she want me to go with her? My mate was focusing on something that she wouldn’t share with me, and that was definitely not the norm.

I needed to get her to talk to me.