Chapter Nine
Rowe
“Feeling better?”
His mouth full of sandwich, all he could do was bob his head up and down, trying to express his gratitude that way. The sandwich was great and he genuinely was thankful. Rowe hadn’t expected her to make him food, but when she’d immediately started bustling around and asking him what he liked on his sandwich and what he didn’t, he’d just sort of went along.
Now he was eating the fruits of her labors, and feeling himself come back down to normal. Part of him thought it was cute the way she’d gone into provider mode, but more of him was upset that it had been called for in the first place. Rowe needed to have better control of his emotions, and to pay more attention. She’d almost caught him in a situation in which he was unable to explain his actions.
Such as how he’d gone out without a flashlight. Or how he’d traveled to and from the border without the ATV. The entire time she’d been staring at him he’d been terrified she would ask something like that. Thankfully she hadn’t.
“Well I guess this makes us even,” she said casually as he downed the last bite.
“Pardon?”
“You saved my life earlier. Now I saved it myself, by feeding you.”
Rowe tapped his chin. “It sounds to me like you’re attempting to get out of paying your tab.”
“I said thank you for saving my life. What more do you want? If you keep demanding things it might seem to me like you’re not doing it out of kindness, but because you expect something.”
He just sort of stared. “That’s not…I…” Rowe sighed. “I was just trying to have some fun.”
“Fun? Stealing kisses from me is fun?”
“I was sort of hoping that you’d give this one up for free,” he admitted helplessly.
Cheryl laughed at him. “You think so?”
Buoyed by the fact she didn’t seem to be getting angry with him, Rowe nodded, taking a step closer.
“What are you doing?” she asked, suddenly nervous.
Rowe grinned. “I see what’s going on now.”
Chery’s throat bobbed as she swallowed. “You do? What do you see?”
He took another step forward. “I see you.”
“You’re not blind. That’s good.” She was trying valiantly to keep her sarcastic nature up, he could tell, but as he closed the gap between them until it was a handful of feet she began to falter.
The more he realized she wanted it, but was just scared of it, the more his confidence grew.
“No, I’m not blind. I can clearly see the beauty standing in front of me,” he whispered, taking another large step.
Cheryl tried to back up, but she bumped against the table, trapped as he matched her step for step.
“Listen, Rowe. I’m not that type of girl,” she told him, her voice growing quieter.
“What type of girl?” He was almost on top of her now.
“To just jump into bed with someone purely for sex.”
He nodded, feet carrying him until less than a foot separated the pair. “I know. You have respect for yourself. I want you to know I respect you too.”
“Then you understand why I can’t sleep with you.”
“No, I don’t.”
“Because.” She grimaced. “You just want to fuck because you think you can.”
He reared back. “Is that truly what you think? That I only want you because you’re here? Like some sort of conquest? Have I not shown you that I’m truly interested in you?”
She hesitated. “I just find it hard to believe. You’re so hot, and I’m—”
“Just as sexy,” he supplied before she could say something insulting about herself. “I love the way you look. Your curves, the softness of your stomach and your body. It calls to me. I crave it. Please believe me. I’m not making that up.”
“Rowe…”
Her resistance was fading, and Rowe took his chances.
When their lips touched he knew immediately that he’d made the right decision. Every hair on his body tingled with the electricity that passed between them, a shockingly powerful sign of their connection. If he’d still had any remaining doubts about her being his mate, that would have eliminated them, but Rowe was long since convinced of that. They belonged together. Dragon and human.
“I can’t believe we’re doing this,” she gasped as he lifted her up onto the table, so that he could kiss her better.
“Why not?” he asked, speaking between kisses.
“It’s just so…I told myself I wouldn’t!”
He paused, giving her a huge smile. “I don’t understand why you would do that. You deserve this.”
Cheryl lifted her eyebrows.
“I mean you deserve to do what you want. Not that you deserve me. I don’t know that. I only know that you want me.”
“Well of course I want you,” she whispered, lifting his shirt to look at his stomach. “I mean, wow. Who wouldn’t want you?”
“I just care what you want,” he growled, pulling the shirt from over his head.
Cheryl fell silent, but her eyes continued to do the talking as they roamed freely over his upper torso. Rowe watched in silence, noting how her pupils were big and round, dilated from the sight before her.
“Now you’re just teasing me,” she all but moaned as he pushed her legs open and stepped closer.
“I would never.” Rowe grabbed her hands and put them on him, letting her touch and feel him wherever she wanted. He shivered as she slid her hands up his side and across his chest, playfully circling his nipples.
“So smooth,” she observed. “Yet so strong and powerful.”
Her hands continued up over his shoulders and down his arms, fingers spread wide as she gripped his biceps.
Rowe flipped his hands around as she slid down his forearms, until he clasped her hands in his. Slowly, keeping his eyes on hers, he raised both of them to his mouth, kissing the backs of her hands one at a time.
“We shouldn’t be doing this.”
Rowe shook his head. “There’s absolutely no reason we shouldn’t.”
Cheryl sighed and bit her lip as he dropped her hands to grip her knees, slowly running his thumbs up the inside of her thighs, stopping just short of the arch between her legs. Her eyes closed as he dug his thumbs in a little deeper, sliding them up the sides of her bikini line before resting them against her soft, thick sides.
“Rowe.” His name was a half-moan pouring from her lips, a plea for him to both stop and keep going, all at once.
“Yes?” He spoke into her neck, gently nipping at the skin there, drawing a visible shiver from her.
He loved to please her, to watch her body react to his touch. Rowe could see her nipples as they poked through the thin long-sleeve shirt she was wearing. He so desperately wanted to run his fingers over them, to see how she would handle his touch somewhere more sensitive. More sexual.
“We should stop.”
“I disagree.” He showed her why.
Fingers scraped down his shoulders, leaving marks. “That’s a really good reason.”
He smiled and kept teasing her. Touching here, squeezing there, always moving, always exploring. Cheryl was losing herself in it, and when he finally caressed her breast she barely flinched, and then only to arch her back into him, urging him on.
“You’re good at this.” She moaned softly as his thumb drew light circles across the outline of her nipple. “Very convincing, but I still don’t know.”
Rowe was torn. He wanted to continue on, but Cheryl’s continued uncertainty was making him reconsider about pushing further. “Should I stop?”
The reply was a very long time in coming. “What happens if I say we go on?”
He grinned. “If you say so, then I’ll slide this hand from your knee all the way up…”
“And?” she asked, nearly out of breath. “What then?”
“This time, I won’t stop.” He paused his hand in time with his words.
“No,” she gasped. “Please. Keep going.”
“Why?” he breathed the question into her ear, towering over her, using his naked torso to his advantage.
“I need it.”
He inched his fingers closer to the peak between her legs. Cheryl responded by spreading her legs wider, inviting him to keep going.
“You told me to stop,” he reminder her, pulling her head in to his chest.
“I know.” Her voice was half moan, half whine.
Rowe lifted his fingers a fraction of an inch higher. Cheryl jerked, muscles tightening as he drew closer than ever before.
“Why does this have to be so difficult?” she gasped, her lungs rising and falling rapidly.
“Because you don’t trust your feelings.” He sucked gently on her earlobe, drawing a fragile shiver that ran from her head to between her legs. “But you should.”
“Why?”
“Besides that it would feel good, and that there’s obviously a connection between us?”
Cheryl nodded, gripping his upper shoulders even tighter. “Yeah, besides that.”
“You want it. I want it. There’s no reason we can’t, as consenting adults, enjoy each other’s company.”
“I do want it.”
His dragon leapt into the driver’s seat then without warning. Rowe’s hand slid up her thighs, not stopping until he reached her center. Using her moans as a guide, he quickly discovered the way she liked it.
Cheryl leaned into him, shaking each time his fingers pushed through her pants and across her clit. Rowe watched her intently, noting the way her face and body twitched as he touched her. Everything was filed away into his memory, furthering his own arousal.
“Rowe,” she gasped, shaking violently without any warning. “Oh fuck.”
He didn’t change a damn thing that his hand was doing as she climaxed right there on the kitchen table in front of him. Rowe growled and held her tight as she gasped and was suddenly done, going limp in his arms. She was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen, and now he was holding her after she’d just come for him.
Although his dragon was still riled up, it subsided as he watched his mate smile that happy, empty smile that signaled extreme satisfaction. For now it relinquished control. Rowe prepared to pay for its abrupt actions, but judging by the reddish glow in her face and the huge pupils, Cheryl wasn’t overly upset with him.
“This is awkward.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he told her, wishing it were true.
“Look, I’ll just straight-up say it. That was amazing. You’re good, and I apparently needed that. It’s just…”
“You don’t want to go any further,” he supplied.
Cheryl threw her hands in the air, frustrated. “I don’t know. I do, but I already have so much on my plate, and I don’t know. Now just doesn’t seem like the right time. Does that make any sense?”
“No,” he argued, letting his emotions show. “It doesn’t. Now is exactly the right time. You want it. I want it. It works, as we’ve just seen. So why not just let ourselves be happy? There’s no need to punish us; we haven’t done anything to deserve that.”
She hesitated, and hope blossomed inside him. Then whatever was blocking her slammed back into place and the hope went out. Rowe desperately wanted to know what it was that was preventing her from being with him.
It had to be something big. Something bad. Maybe she’d been horrifically hurt in the past? A betrayal so bad she no longer trusted anyone? There was something that kept sliding into place, scared of the power of their bond. If he could just figure out what that was, he could address it, and they could finally be happy together!
“Rowe, I need you to know, I don’t regret this. I enjoyed myself. I just can’t do more. I’m sorry. Not right now.”
He opened his mouth to protest, but she slipped close, pressed a finger to his lips before tucking it under his jaw and pulling him down to her level. Then she kissed him hard and furious.
“Goodnight,” she whispered, and fled.
Rowe stood in the kitchen for a long time, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened between him and his mate.
It was good. Progress. And yet…it was really, really bad.
Women are so confusing.