Chapter Seventeen
Ella
I woke up to the sound of soft knocking on the door. I was reluctant to get out of the bed, but a look out the windows told me I'd been asleep for a while. It was full dark outside and the moon was climbing high.
Jacob's house – my room – hadn't been bad. It was comfortable. Homey. But Zarik's guest room was something else. It looked like something straight out of a luxury hotel. The four-poster bed had a canopy and mattresses that looked like I could sink deep into.
Everything – the walls, the bedding, the carpets – were done in soft earth tones. It was a place that was peaceful. Relaxing. The wood in the room – the armoire, the dresser, desk, tables – were all a dark oak and looked to be hand crafted.
It was an amazing room.
I got out of bed and padded to the door. When I opened it, I was greeted by Zarik's smiling face.
“Sorry to wake you,” he said.
I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and tried to smooth down hair that I knew was probably sticking out in a million different directions. I felt the heat rushing into my cheeks and suddenly felt a little self-conscious about my appearance – something I'd never really felt before.
“No, it's fine,” I said and looked out the windows again. “I should have been up a long, while ago.”
“I wanted to let you get some rest,” he said. “You've had a day.”
I gave him a small smile. “Yeah, that I have.”
“Come on,” he said. “I've got some food for you. I bet you could use a meal.”
I didn't feel all that hungry, but as I walked down the hallway with him, the smell of Chinese food filled the air and my stomach began to rumble. Apparently, I did need a meal.
The dining room table – with a gorgeous view of the city – had been set nicely, complete with a pair of white tapered candles. Zarik wore dark slacks, a black button-down shirt, and looked very nice. I looked down at myself, in my ratty old boxers and a t-shirt – my typical sleeping attire – and suddenly felt underdressed. Out of place.
“You look wonderful,” Zarik said, as if reading my mind. “You're beautiful, Ella.”
“Yeah, about that,” I said. “Just give me a minute to at least put on something halfway –”
I didn't get to finish my thought as Zarik smiled at me and then began to strip down. He tossed his shirt and his slacks onto one of the chairs and kicked his shoes and socks underneath it. In the blink of an eye, he'd gone from a well-dressed man to a man standing there in his boxers.
I stared at him wide-eyed and slack-jawed for a moment before I burst out into laughter. The sight of him standing there in his boxers was incredibly nice to look at, but also incredibly hilarious at the same time.
“What?” he asked, a wide grin on his face. “I didn't want you to be the only one in their boxers at the dinner table.”
He moved around to my chair and held it out for me. Still giggling, I sat down and allowed him to push it in. He took the seat to my right and began to dish out the food. I had to admit, the food smelled amazing and I was hungrier than I'd thought. As soon as everything had been served, we dug in, eating in a companionable silence for a while.
“So, do you want to talk about it?” Zarik finally asked before popping a piece of egg roll into his mouth.
I didn't want to talk about it. Not really. But part of me felt safe enough with Zarik that I could. It wasn't a common feeling in my life – there were very few people I trusted enough to be completely open with. And I had to admit, it was a nice feeling.
Without even realizing I was going to, I began to speak. To tell him everything that had happened with Jacob earlier in the day. I probably went overboard, giving him way too much backstory and information. I told him about my childhood, my parents, what life was like growing up in the Order. It was like once I'd started talking, I didn't seem capable of stopping myself.
I must have spoken for half an hour straight. I didn't feel like I'd even stopped to take a breath. And through it all, Zarik listened to me. He really listened and I could tell, took in everything I was saying. I'd had heart-to-hearts with Jacob before, of course, but there was something different about opening up and sharing with Zarik. I didn't need to censor or filter myself. I could just let it all come pouring out. And I did.
“Sorry,” I said. “I didn't mean to verbally throw up on you quite that much.”
“No, it's okay,” he said. “I'm so sorry for all you've been through, Ella. For being so young, you've been through a lot. More than most people. But you're so strong. To have come through what you have and be the person you are – it takes a tremendous amount of strength and courage. I'm simply in awe of you.”
My cheeks were burning and I was sure that I was an embarrassing shade of red. Still I had to admit that his praise felt nice. Especially because it felt sincere.
“I've been part of the Order for my whole life,” I said. “And now that I'm – not – I just feel adrift. Kind of lost.”
“For what it's worth, taking that sort of a stand against something you feel is wrong takes a special kind of person. A person with a strength uncommon in most people.”
A small smile touched my lips. It meant a lot to hear him say, but it didn't take the sting out of walking away from everything I'd ever known in my life. It was for the right reasons, but it still hurt.
“The thing that hurts the most is losing Jacob,” I said. “He's been like a father to me. He's been good to me.”
“Would it help at all if I talked to him?”
I gave him a rueful grin. “If he saw you, he'd probably try to kill you.”
He shrugged. “Perhaps,” he said. “But perhaps he wouldn't. Perhaps, he might be wanting to find his way back to you.”
“Maybe,” I said. “But he's a stubborn man. Set in his ways. Very old school.”
“I know people like that,” he said. “There are many among the Dragonborn much like that.”
“I honestly don't know that Jacob and I will ever find our way back to each other,” I said softly. “I left the Order. I'm the enemy now. If they see me, they'll kill me.”
“They can try,” he said. “But I have a feeling they would find it more than a little difficult.”
I sighed. “I just wish things didn't have to be this way.”
“Things can change,” he said. “It may just take a little time.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Maybe. Maybe things will change eventually. We can hope, right?”
He nodded. “We can hope.”
An awkward silence descended over us and I started to feel antsy. I needed to get out into the fresh air. Needed to feel the night breeze on my skin. I was anxious and I just needed to do something. Do what I'd been trained to do. What had been part of me for so long.
“I need to get out for a while,” I finally said. “I need to hunt.”
“It's dangerous out there,” Zarik said.
“I'm dangerous,” I replied. “Besides, I need to do something – normal – tonight.”
“There is nothing about our lives that is normal,” he said, a soft smile touching his lips. “Do you want me to come along?”
I shook my head. “No, not this time. I think I need to hunt on my own tonight.”
Zarik nodded. “As you wish. But please, call me if you need help,” he said. “Or you just want some company.”
I stood up and looked at him, sitting at the table in his boxers and had to stifle a giggle. His gesture though, was sweet. And it was one I appreciated. I leaned down and gave him a soft kiss.
“Thank you,” I said. “For everything.”
“Of course.”