Chapter One – Kim

“There, Archie, eating veggies wasn’t so bad, was it?” Kim put the spoon back in the empty bowl and wiped Archie’s face. “I’m not sure how much went in your mouth.”

Archie gave Kim his ridiculously cute smile, complete with one tooth poking its way through his gum. That one solitary tooth which often made sleep intermittent and daytimes fractious.

“How is that son of yours?” Fiona, dragon shifter, and fairy godmother, to some extent, entered the kitchen and set her purse and briefcase down on the kitchen table.

“My son is going to grow big and strong because he ate all his veggies.” Kim got up from the table, and washed Archie’s bowl and popped the bib in the washer. “Coffee?”

“I could murder a cup.” Fiona sat down at the table and made faces at Archie. “It’s been a long morning.”

“Anything I can do to help?” Kim offered.

“No, it was an adoption hearing. For the two children Dean and Elizabeth are fostering. It’s finally over and Jenny and Jason have new parents. And a secure, permanent home.” After making Archie laugh, Fiona opened her briefcase and pulled out her laptop. “I decided I was going to catch up on administration for the rest of the day. Which means I can look after Archie and you can have a few hours to yourself.”

Kim leaned back in surprise. “You’ll babysit Archie while you work?”

“I will.” Fiona leaned forward and tickled Archie’s chin. “Harlan will be back soon and Archie and Harlan Jr. can play in the backyard for a while. It’s a beautiful day.”

“Thank you, Fiona, I’ll catch up on the laundry and all the other chores that seem to take twice as long with a baby in tow. I might even slip into Bear Creek for some groceries.” Kim picked up her coffee and sipped it, while mentally planning what she needed to do. Priority should be the laundry.

“Or, you could borrow a pair of hiking boots and go and get some fresh air. There’s a big mountain out there, waiting to be explored.” Fiona studied Kim carefully, then she reached out and took her hand. “Kim, you are allowed to enjoy yourself.”

Kim looked down at her hand. Warmth flowed from Fiona, through her skin, seeping into her bones, comforting her. “It doesn’t seem right.”

“To who?” Fiona asked. “Do you think we will judge you if you do something for yourself? Or Archie would begrudge you a few hours outdoors? Or Jay?”

Kim’s breath caught in her chest at his name, and she seemed to cave inwards, as if she might disappear. “No.” She pressed her fingers to her eyes, not wanting to cry. Again. Kim had made a promise to herself, and Archie, a couple of days ago to stop crying. She didn’t want Archie growing up thinking his mom was miserable. Anyway, tears were worthless.

So is hope, a voice in her head reminded her.

“Then go. Breathe fresh air, walk over the hills. Let go of all this. I can promise you, it’s not going anywhere. It will all be waiting for you when you get back.” Fiona opened her laptop and tapped her keyboard, logging on to the social services system. “You’re still here.”

Kim kissed Fiona on the cheek, a thing she never envisioned doing when she arrived at the house Fiona shared with her dragon shifter husband and children. Was it only a week since Kim sought shelter here? “Thank you.” Kim kissed Archie’s soft baby cheek. “Bye, baby. Be good, I’ll be back later.”

Archie gave her a cheesy grin, reminding Kim of his dad. Her heart clenched, and tears threatened, welling up inside her, ready to erupt if she let her self-control slip one tiny bit.

She turned around and walked out of the kitchen without a backward glance, not daring to look at her small child’s face, because if she did she would fall apart. Stopping only to change into a pair of hiking boots Fiona’s eldest daughter, Sapphi, had loaned her, Kim burst out of the house. She stopped dead in her tracks as the sun warmed her face, and the fresh mountain air filled her lungs.

The smallest pleasures were often overlooked. The giggle of a child, a comforting touch from a friend. The kiss from your true love… Kim cleared her mind of Jay. She focused on the here and now. The breeze on her face, the rustle of leaves and the breath in her body.

In and out. Inhale, exhale. Swallowing the lump in her throat, consisting of all her unshed tears, she calmed down. Falling apart was not an option. She had to hold it together, for Archie. For herself. And for Jay.

Kim looked up at the trees, tall, strong, and ageless, and drew in their strength. She had to be like a tree. She had to dig deep and draw on her inner strength. Yet all she wanted to do was run to the room she shared with Archie and throw herself on the bed, pull a pillow over her head and sob until there were no more tears.

But she’d tried that. When she was alone, back in the city. Waiting for a man who never came home.

“Oh, Jay, where are you?” Kim asked the trees and the mountain. They gave no answer. But why would they know when no one else did? It was as if Jay had disappeared, gone. Or perhaps he was never here.

Stupid. She had Archie to prove he was real. The little boy, growing in the image of his father, was proof her time with her bear shifter was real. The nights they lay in each other’s arms and talked until the sun rose in the east did happen. The words of love he’d whispered as they made love were not a figment of her imagination.

“Grr.” Kim vented her frustration, pushing herself as she took one step then two. Big long strides that stretched her muscles and worked her heart and lungs. Exercise was what she needed, to walk until she could walk no more and then collapse in an exhausted heap, and sleep a dreamless sleep.

The trail she followed was steep, and her fast pace soon left her fighting for breath, but still, she kept going, punishing herself for not saving her mate.

“He isn’t dead.” She repeated the same phrase over and over as she hiked along the trail, through the trees and then out onto an open plateau. “He. Isn’t. Dead.” Kim pushed each word out through gritted teeth. He couldn’t be dead. She would not allow Archie to grow up without knowing his father.

But life didn’t always give you choices. Sometimes it gave you crap and all you could do was suck it up.

She loved him too much. No. She loved them too much.

Until she knew otherwise, Jay would live on, in her head and in her heart. No matter what the cost.

“Hey there.” A voice came from behind Kim, and she whirled around to see a man approaching. A man she didn’t know. Her immediate reaction was to run. Where to? She looked around for an escape route. If she headed back down the trail, could she outrun him? “Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“You didn’t.” Kim tilted her chin, lifting her eyes to meet his. There was no way the men who were after Jay could find her here on the mountain. Could they?

“Kim, right?” He walked closer, and the need to run became overpowering. “I’m Avery’s husband. Jacob.”

“Oh.” Her breath left her body and she sagged forward.

“Hey, sorry I frightened you. I should be more careful.” Jacob rushed forward, pulled out a water bottle, and offered Kim a drink. “It’s nice and cold, I filled it up at the mountain stream a few minutes ago. Fresh as it comes.”

“Thanks.” Kim took the water bottle from him, realizing how unprepared she was for a hike in the mountains. She took a good long slug, the cold water was like a slap in the face, waking her up. “You’re right, it is good.”

“Better?” He grinned.

“Much.” Kim handed the water bottle back to him. “Good to finally meet you, Jacob. Avery has been so kind. I apologize for overreacting.” Kim gave him a weary smile.

“No need to apologize. I can only imagine what you are going through right now.” He pointed along the plateau. “I’ll walk with you if you’re going this way.”

“I’m not sure which way I’m going.” She shrugged. “That could be a metaphor for my life right now.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Jacob said kindly. “I’m heading to a friend’s cabin. He lives on the mountain and doesn’t get many visitors. If you want a cup of dandelion coffee, why not tag along?”

“Thanks.” Kim fell into step with Jacob, although she was certain he shortened his strides so she could keep up. “You’re a ranger, right?”

“Guilty as charged. I love it out here.” He breathed deeply. “Mountain air, nothing like it for waking the senses.”

“How far do the mountains stretch?” Kim asked.

Jacob considered her question. “The range goes a couple hundred miles, to the north and the west. Bear Creek and Bear Bluff sit in an elbow. Wolf Valley is over to the west, with Cougar Ridge higher and to the north.”

“Do you walk all over the mountains? I mean, as a ranger, do you have a certain area that’s yours to patrol?” Kim had spent the time since she arrived in Bear Creek collecting as many facts about the mountain range as possible. She was piecing together a map in her head and adding all relevant information she gleaned from the local people.

“I have a large area I’m expected to monitor. In tourist season it’s more important to focus on the busier trails.” He looked at her sideways. “Are you after a job?”

She gave a short laugh. “No, I’m just interested.”

“In the mountain range itself, or whether someone might get lost up here?” Jacob asked gently.

“Not lost.” She shrugged. “But if someone wanted to walk over the mountain. From the north…how long would it take?”

Jacob’s expression filled with sympathy. “Honestly, it’s hard to say. The terrain is mixed. Hard in some places, easier in others. There are valleys that are practically impassible unless you go high up, or down to the road.” He stopped walking. “Kim, Jay could be out here. Or he might never have reached the mountains. If anyone found him, they would have reported it to the police.”

“I know.” She nodded, unable to meet his eyes. Didn’t it depend on who found him? “I hate not knowing.” She sighed. “It’s so unbelievably hard. What am I supposed to tell Archie? That I never looked for him? That I didn’t do everything I possibly could to find him?”

“He’s too young to need an explanation right now. He’s also too young not to have his mom there for him. A mom who’s done her best for her child. Jay will understand that, too.” Jacob’s words were kind, but it didn’t stop the guilt she carried inside. Guilt that resonated with every beat of her heart.

She was Jay’s mate, the woman he was supposed to be with. He’d explained the whole shifter mating bond to her, and he’d shown her how much she meant to him. And even though she wasn’t a shifter, she could feel it, sense their connection in a deep, unfathomable way.

“Jay doesn’t know about Archie.” Kim couldn’t look at Jacob, she simply kept her eyes on the ground, one foot in front of the other as her muscles complained.

“Did you do what you thought was right?” Jacob asked. As she suspected, Jacob already knew this piece of information. It was natural for Avery to talk over the case with her husband, her mate, the man she trusted. Telling Jacob hadn’t betrayed Kim’s confidence.

“I did.” It was true, she did believe she made the right decision, no matter how difficult it was to live with it. In her heart, she knew letting Jay go was what he needed. The death of his parents had hit him hard, especially when his father had been blamed for the death of his wife, and then his own suicide. Jay knew that wasn’t the truth. And Kim knew he would never rest until the world knew it, too.

“Then let it go, Kim.” Jacob placed his large, strong hand on her shoulder and squeezed it lightly. “Let go and forgive yourself.”

“I’ll try.” She walked in silence for a moment. “So this guy lives in the mountains all year round?” Kim’s tone was upbeat, interested.

“He does. I’ve never been able to get out of him why. All he’s ever said is he’s cursed.” Jacob shrugged. “One day he might share his story. But it’s his story to keep.”

“I guess we all have secrets we keep.” Kim looked behind her, out across the valley below. Was Jay out there, somewhere, in need of help? Or was he hiding out, waiting for it to be safe to join her?

Or was he dead? Kim swallowed down her fear, she would never believe it until she saw Jay’s body on a cold hard slab.