The last time I’d sat in Balthazar’s living room with some of the men from the Academy, I’d felt wide-eyed and confused, straightening out my cream-colored dress. I didn’t feel quite the same now. When I caught my reflection in Balthazar’s mirror, I hardly recognized the black-clad woman who stared back at me, the one with the wild hair.

I kind of liked her.

Raphael sidled up beside me, a sensual smile on his lips. “L’aurore. Queen of Venom.” He tilted his head. “You look like a new woman.”

“I’m not a new woman,” I told him plainly. “I just had to find the real me.”

I turned, looking at the others. Raphael dropped down on the sofa next to Sebastos. Across from them, Balthazar and Holly sat in armchairs before a pot of tea. Sam and Ragnar were notably absent.

I plopped down in a chair next to Holly. “Maybe some of you helped me find the real me little bit.”

Holly raised her hand. “Special mention to me, your lifelong—no, eons long—best friend.” With an easy smile on her lips, she reached across Balthazar, lifting the teapot. Steam curled into the air, faintly perfumed, as she filled the teacups in front of her. “I know we have important things to talk about, but any guesses as to what kind of tea this is?”

Balthazar had seven unlabeled jars of tea in his kitchen, and it was anyone’s guess what we were getting.

“Sod all this Assam and Nilgiri shit,” said Raphael, snatching a cup of tea from the table. “Give me regular black tea with a splash of milk, the way the gods intended.”

“And eight sugars, right?” With an arch of his eyebrow, Sebastos plucked a delicate teacup from the table. It looked ridiculous in his enormous hands. “Like the gods intended. Right, you philistine?”

Ignoring him, Raphael closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. “Ahh… it’s Earl Grey. I’d know the smell anywhere. Smells like a whore’s perfume.”

Balthazar frowned, drumming his fingers on his armrest. “Of course you’re the only one here with expertise in whore perfumes.”

“Guys,” I called over the chatter, effectively silencing the bickering. “I think I’ve earned my place enough here to ask a question. A single, simple question.”

Four sets of eyes turned to me.

“I just want to know who I am,” I said. “What you all are. I remember the different cycles, the iterations. I remember that one of us is supposed to die every time, or the world ends. But why?”

Silence hung over the room, and I gritted my teeth.

“I’ve earned your respect, and I’ve fought as hard as any one of you. I deserve to know who and what I am, beyond this whole apocalyptic explanation. Why do I have these powers? Why am I destined to be part of this?”

Balthazar sipped his tea. “We can’t tell you that, Dawn. Only what you already know. Each time, one of us has to die, or the apocalypse begins. The Judge oversees it all. Only this time, it seems he wanted to keep us apart.”

“Like he wants the apocalypse to happen,” said Sebastos.

An icy shudder rippled over my body. “The Judge. Right. Can we find him?” I shot Holly a quick look. “Luke, I mean.”

Holly set her tea down on the coffee table, leaning forward. “We’ve inspected his apartment. He’s not there anymore, Dawn. He hasn’t been there since just after he kidnapped me. He’s completely disappeared, and we don’t know what he looks like. The Judge has always taken many forms, worming his way into your life, making sure you behaved as you should. It’s just that, now, he’s acting differently. Sending his shadow angels to kill us all.”

Balthazar’s dark eyes glinted. “Here’s what you need to know, Dawn. We have to keep the fucking world from ending. Why this is your destiny, I can’t tell you. Not because of the curse, but because I have no idea. It just is. And you’ll have to deal with it.”

I leaned back in my chair, still grappling with everything I’d learned. As soon as I cleared my head, I was going to check in with Mom, to tell her that maybe I’d been wrong about a few things. That shadow angels were real, and magic flowed through my veins. Did she know what I was? Had she known all along?

I pulled a teacup off the table, inhaling the ‘whore’s perfume.’

Whatever the case, apparently I’d found my destiny among the members of the Academy of Light. When we were together, I felt like a deep wound in my chest was beginning to heal. I’d once thought that that sense of feeling incomplete was a normal part of being human, but maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was that I was meant to be a part of something larger than myself.

“All right,” I said. “I guess I’m an official member of the Academy now, and it seems we have a common goal. Finding the Judge. I’m still a tad uneasy about Ragnar, considering he kidnapped me and locked me in a room.”

Sebastos leaned forward. “Believe me, we are all uneasy about Ragnar.”

“Vampiric prick.” A rather unhelpful comment from Balthazar.

Raphael loosed a sigh. “He spent too long on his own among the ice and mountains with only the occasional lover to keep him company. He lost his mind. I’m not sure if he feels anything at all anymore. But he’s driven to protect you, just like we all are.”

I thought of the way it had felt when he’d kissed me. He’d definitely felt something then, and he had layers beneath his fury that I hadn’t even begun to explore.

Sebastos met my gaze. “Dawn, as much as the curse allows, we will let you in.”

I shrugged, picking up my teacup. “Well, at least I don’t have to find a new job.” Despite everything that had happened, a smile curled my lips. As confusing as it was, I’d found my place in this world.

And I had no intention of giving that up.