The following morning I woke up. Which was a good start. I might have had a concussion - having still not done the protocols - and could easily have died in my sleep.

Good to start the day on a positive note.

But if I had had any hope that the events of the night before would all be resolved come the morning, then that hope was immediately dashed. The whole thing was still confusing and still hovering between real and unreal. I still had no idea if I was suffering the ill-effects of a bang to the head or was slipping into psychosis. I knew that such things could be hereditary - I had done my reading, for obvious reasons. Of course, the smart thing to do would have been to make an appointment to see a doctor, someone who would be able to tell me if this was physical or mental, someone who could put the matter to rest one way or the other. Surely it would be better to at least know?

Problem was, that was exactly what I had said to my mom a decade and a half ago. I had dialed the phone myself to make the appointment. It had never occurred to me that there might actually be something wrong in her head. Something that medical science was still at a loss to fix. That's not supposed to happen to moms. They’re supposed to be invincible. It was not that I had been expecting good news, it had never even occurred to me that there could be any other kind.

I suppose that if I hadn't made that call then things would have eventually gone the same way; only, maybe then, Mom could have harmed herself or someone else, even me. But still, I was the one who had made the appointment from which she never returned. However illogical it was, I had never been able to shake the feeling that I was the one who had sent her into that institution, inadvertently sending myself into foster care. I didn't think that was a guilt from which I would ever be free. Truth be told, I didn't want to be. I carried the guilt with me and that was what I wanted. I never wanted to be okay with making that call.

Yeah, there was no way I was calling a doctor now.

Remi was seated at the kitchen table having breakfast when I came in.

"Coffee? Cereal? How you feeling this morning? Oh, and thank you for putting the chain on the door - that didn't make getting in a pain in the ass."

I shrugged. "Sorry. Force of habit."

Chain locks are pretty easy to get around. Sorry to break that to you, I know it’s a bit of a mind fuck.

"And yes to coffee. And cereal. And I'm feeling pretty good, thank you. You're up early."

Remi gave a cocky smile. "Haven't slept yet."

"You haven't been to bed?"

"I didn't say that. I just said I hadn't slept."

I laughed and shook my head. Remi wasn't the kind of guy who stayed for breakfast. Nor was he the kind of guy who brought women back to his own home - that just meant they could find him again. The thing that still kept him in the ‘good guy’ realm…at least, in this aspect, was that he never made false vows of love or commitment. Might not seem like much, but made all the difference to me.

"Any aching? Head or knees?" he asked, brow knit with concern.

"Both fine," I assured him as he plonked a mug of coffee and bowl of cereal down in front of me.

It was true. I wasn't aching. I had suffered no physical ill-effects as a result of last night's adventure. Mentally was another matter. I wondered if I should tell Remi about my visit from Alexei and friends.

I should. I told Remi everything. No secrets.

"Where did we land on the frog thing?" asked Remi, a little more anxiously.

"I guess weirder shit has happened."

As much as I wanted to, I couldn't bring myself to tell him about the guys. Not yet.

He was already worried that I was losing it because I had seen the frogs. What would he think if I admitted that I had been visited by three men who may or may not have been here, that they had told me I had a god for a father, and that I had been cordially invited to save the world? That made raining frogs looks pretty fucking sane by comparison. If I told him all that, then he would be the one calling the doctor, and he would be the one with the lifelong guilt over what happened next. Besides, if he knew that I let three strange guys into the apartment then he'd be furious. Owing to the number of people we'd conned, we had a list of enemies as long as your arm and our only real defense was that they didn't know where to find us. You don't let strangers in - that's common sense. I needed some time to figure out a way to explain it to him that didn’t make me sound nuttier than a shit-house rat.

We finished breakfast and flipped on the TV to check the news. It's important for any con man to stay up-to-date with current affairs because there may be something you can work into a grift. That said, I was still secretly hoping that some reports of raining frogs might have come in overnight. I didn't like hanging about, waiting to find out if I was sane or not.

Usually, when you turn on the news partway through, then you never know what story you might hit, and you might have to wait for the main headlines to come around again. But when there is a big story, swallowing up all the others, then that's what you see.

"Once again," the presenter said, "we are live from the Hudson River which has, at some point overnight, turned red!"

The camera tilted away from the newscaster to the river itself - a familiar sight to any who've lived in the city their entire lives, but now red. And not just any red - blood red, vivid and viscous. I gaped in astonishment.

"No one has yet been able to conclusively explain this truly remarkable phenomenon," the newscaster continued. "But scientists we've spoken to have suggested - and I must remind you that this is still just a theory - that the color change may be the result of an algal bloom. Possibly some form of super-algae, that has developed as a result of toxic dumping in the river. We are still waiting for confirmation of this, pending tests - and we've been watching scientists in white safety suits taking samples all morning. Nothing yet. A number of politicians, pressure groups and organizations have jumped on this, contacting the media or posting over Twitter, blaming lax regulations for chemical companies or defending the chemical companies and denouncing an alarmist response based on no evidence. Other theories include aliens, Al Qaeda and a sign from God."

"A sign from God." I whispered the words but I could feel Remi's eyes on me as I said them. I looked at him. "You are seeing this, too, right?"

"Oh yeah."

I could feel the beginnings of a major, full-blown freak-out building within me. I wanted to scream or throw the TV out the window, or something. But the feel of Remi's hand on mine calmed me and brought me back to Earth.

"How about we check online?" he said, forcing a smile. "Maybe there's something in this algae idea. I mean; you know the crap they put in the Hudson."

There was no denying that. The Hudson was the unfortunate repository of half the city's legal waste and who knew what else that was sneaked in when no one was looking or had been paid to look the other way. When you thought about it, the wonder was that the river hadn't turned red, or some other color, years ago.

Still, there was something poking at the back of my mind as we fired up Remi's laptop, some thought that harked back to something someone had tried to teach me years ago when I wasn't listening, about rivers running red. And for some reason, my brain was making a clear connection between it and raining frogs.

It didn't take long to find out why.

"Plagues of Egypt," murmured Remi, reading from the screen.

Raining frogs and rivers running red were both among the plagues God had visited on Egypt because... A better student than me would no doubt know the answer to that already, and I was in no state of mind to read any further into the article. On the one hand, this was yet another Biblical plague that had damn all to do with Greek gods. On the other, that discrepancy had already been explained to me. Then again, was that just my fucked-up brain, which, lacking any information about the messages ancient Greek gods used to send, had reached for the nearest equivalent? I'd lost track of what I was hoping was true. I didn't want to be crazy - and the fact that Remi was seeing this, too, along with the rest of New York, argued that I was not - but the alternative didn't currently seem much better. I was the daughter of a god? A god who was still a deadbeat dad? What's up with that?

"There're people online saying it's a portent to the end of days," said Remi. This was starting to freak him out almost as much as it was me.

Of course, there are people online who think that increasing social security benefits portents the end of days, but a river running red? That sort of thing will get the attention of even the most skeptical.

Remi looked up at me. "Cat, is there... Is there anything you feel you should be telling me?"

"What?"

"Well, I'm just thinking; the whole of New York wakes up to this, but the frogs - that was just you. Seems too much of a coincidence for the two not to be connected but... that means it's something to do with you. So..."

He let the sentence trail. It was not like Remi to think that I might be keeping something from him. But then, it was not like me to be keeping something from him.

"I..."

I actually didn't know where that sentence was going to finish. Perhaps I would have told him everything about what happened last night or perhaps fear and insecurity would have stopped me. It didn't matter, as I was interrupted by a knock at the door, and I knew without looking who it was.

"I'll get it."

I opened the door to find, as I had expected, Alexei, Nico and Christoph outside, looking huge and handsome and as real as they had the night before.

"Good morning, Cat," said Alexei, politely.

"Hey," said Nico.

Christoph just nodded, but it was relatively friendly. I wondered if he was shy and used this taciturnity as a defense mechanism.

"Morning," I said, trying to keep the stress I was feeling out of my voice.

"We have returned to..."

I held up a hand, stopping Alexei mid-sentence. "Sorry. There's just something I need to check. Remi!" I called back into the apartment and Remi joined me at the door. "Can you see these people?"

Remi looked at me like I was crazy – which, under the circumstances, was ironic. "What do you mean; can I see them? They're right there." He ran a discriminating - and not unimpressed - eye over the three men. "Are these all yours? I mean, kudos, but that's a little awkward - them all showing up at once."

"It's not like that," I said, although my mind ran through the possibilities in pleasingly graphic detail, which at least gave me something to think about other than the crashing down around me of my basic reality and everything I had previously thought and known to be true. "They're... friends of mine."

"We are henchmen of Cat's father, Dolos," said Alexei, incredibly unhelpfully. "Trickster god of deceit to the people of ancient Greece. Glory to Dolos!"

"Glory to Dolos!" Nico and Christoph echoed.

Remi's glazed stare turned to me. "Cat, I don't want to judge - and you know I've never pried into your personal life - but I really feel like you're not hanging with the right friends."

There seemed to be only two options here – three, if you counted the possibility that I was dead and this was some twisted purgatory, but I was still unwilling to accept that. Option one was that none of this was real, and I had lost my mind. Since Remi was also seeing red rivers and the burly but beautiful henchmen of Greek gods then that unavoidably meant that he, too, was a figment created by my broken brain. If this was true, then I had finally fallen into the same pit as my mom, and would live out my remaining days in an institution, no longer able to understand what was real and what was not. That seemed like the worst possible option until you considered option two, which was that all this was real and everything I knew about the world was turned upside down. I really was the estranged daughter of a Greek god currently being tasked with saving the world.

I didn't even know which of those two sucky options was preferable.

"Cat?" asked Remi, and the sound of his familiar, grounding voice - a voice I'd known and trusted for so long and which had helped me through tough times - convinced me that all this was real. Remi was real, and so everything else had to be.

“Yeah, soooo…” I said. "It turns out my useless Dad is a Greek god who, rather than sending a birthday card or email to connect with his child for the first time, has decided to go with the less common strategy of calling upon me to save the fucking world. As one does."

Remi stared at me, trying to work out if I was serious or in the middle of the most elaborate con we had ever pulled.

"Right. I guess you guys had better come in."

Whatever he had decided in his head was going on, and whether he thought I was losing it or not, Remi always had my back.

"Thank you," said Alexei, a little thrown by Remi's presence. "I didn't catch your name."

"Remi."

"I am Alexei. This is Nico and Christoph."

"Can I get you anything?" asked Remi, there was a slight strain in his voice, which I had noticed in my own last night, as he clung to the small vestiges of normality at the edge of an insane situation. "Coffee or anything?"

"We're good."

We all sat down, Remi keeping protectively close to me.

"I wish," Alexei began, "that we had more time to acclimatize you to this and explain in more detail. There are millennia of history relevant to the current situation over which we will have to skip. Time is of the essence. You need to come with us, Cat."

"Today?" I asked.

"Today. Now."

"Why?" That was Remi.

"You are to meet with Zeus." Alexei continued to address himself solely to me.

"King of the gods," Nico put in.

"I'm sure she knows that," said Alexei, a little irritably.

"Yeah, well, you're doing all the talking. I don't want her to think that Chris and I are just mannequins."

"The fate of the world is at stake," pointed out Alexei. "Do you really think your ego is what we should be concerned with? I'm sorry," he turned back to me, "we don't get out much. As I was saying; you must meet with Zeus." He shot Nico a dark look. "The king of the gods. Zeus will give you six tasks. If you can complete them within the next month, then Earth will be saved. Do you have any questions?"

Did I have any questions?!

"How long do you have?" I asked.

Alexei glanced at his watch. "We can spare three minutes for questions."

I shrugged. "I'll just stick to one question then; what the actual fuck?"

Alexei looked at his comrades for guidance.

"Let me give it a go," said Nico. "You tend to sweat the ponderous stuff."

Alexei nodded and sat back while Nico leaned his muscular torso forwards. "Here's the deal; some of the old gods love Earth - love it! They had some good times here back in the day and they still like to watch what crazy shenanigans you humans will get up to next. Others of the gods, hate the lot of you, and, unfortunately, Zeus is very much in that group. Partly, it's because you've taken just the worst care of Earth - global warming, deforestation, and who the fuck thought whaling was a good idea? Plus, he had a soft spot for the dodo. That said, I think the main reason is that you all stopped worshipping him."

"Nico..." Alexei began in remonstrating tones.

"Okay, I can't claim to know Zeus's mind," Nico back-pedaled. "But these are gods - they used to have thousands of worshippers making sacrifices and asking for shit and now they get nothing. People have stopped worshipping the old gods and have turned to new idols like Buddha, Yoga or Rhianna. Some of the gods have adjusted to retirement and others haven't - like some old guy who remembers how things used to be and blames that Korean couple who moved in next door."

"Nico!"

"Okay, point is; Zeus gave mankind fifty years to get their shit together."

"When was that?" I put in.

"Fifty years ago," said Christoph dourly.

"Didn't he at least tell anyone about it?" I asked, suddenly feeling a little cheated. "I mean, he can't expect us to fix things if we don't know there's a problem."

"Arguably," Alexei spoke again, "you did know about it. You knew there were problems with the environment and yet, despite a lot of talking, nothing has been done to fix them. Also, Zeus did tell some people."

"He went old school," Nico reclaimed his story. "Tried to find a champion who could save the world. Great men and women who were also given six tasks to prove Earth was worth saving. They all failed. Mostly because they didn't believe in any of it and so they didn't try."

"I can identify," I said, fervently.

"Yeah, well," Nico continued, "where they failed for the last half century, you have to succeed in the next month."

"Why me?" If all these 'great men and women' had failed, then why was I even an option?

"Your father, Dolos..."

"Glory to Dolos!"

"Give it a rest, guys. Your father has always liked Earth. Back in the day, he was a bit of a one for transforming himself into things and seducing women. Sorry," he added, realizing this might be a sore spot with me. "Nowadays, Earth appeals to him as entertainment. Shit used to move so slowly, but globalization has given you guys the opportunity to create chaos at a hell of a pace and Dolos watches it like you'd watch a soap. He doesn't want it to end."

"Can't he speak to Zeus?" I couldn't quite believe I was in a conversation in which suggesting that two gods sit down for a chat was a reasonable thing to say.

"They don't get on," said Nico. "Gossip is, that Zeus always resented Dolos seducing human women, which was kind of his and Poseidon's thing - they used to go on boys' nights out and... well, you don't need to know the details. Only a human - or at least someone with some human blood - can take on the tasks. Back in the good old days when the gods - and the male gods, especially - got out a bit more, there were lots of demi-gods; Hercules, Perseus and so on. Now there's just you."

"I'm a demi-god?" I can be a pretty arrogant person; I know I'm good-looking, good at what I do, good in bed etc. Never would I have considered myself a demi-god.

"That's the technical term," nodded Alexei. "You are also mankind's last chance of a reprieve before Zeus accedes to the wishes of the other trigger-happy gods - Poseidon would happily see you all fry for what you've done to the seas - and razes the face of the Earth. You are humanity's last hope."

I ran for the bathroom and threw up like a demi-god.