Sam didn’t share any more of his history with Arkas after that, but he’d given enough details for me to get a pretty clear picture of what had happened. But I was still curious, particularly about Uriel’s part in the whole ordeal. As we all boarded the boat the next morning, I couldn’t help but cast a few curious glances his way. He’d always been the friendliest of the fallen angels, but he’d also been the biggest enigma. There was a darkness lurking in his eyes, and pain. He tried to hide it, but it was there.

Az, I understood. He was wicked, but charmingly so. He was angry about what had happened to his family, and he wanted nothing more than to get revenge on those who had harmed him. Ramiel held the weight of his leadership on his shoulders, finding it difficult to open up, even to his fellow fallen angels. And Sam. Well, Sam was a lot like me.

“You enjoying the show?” Uriel asked with a lopsided smile when he caught me watching him stack a few boxes of supplies on the deck. His muscles rippled as he moved, bulging against the thin cotton material of his t-shirt. It occurred to me that he’d never made a move to kiss me. Was that because he didn’t want to? Or because he didn’t think I wanted to? These were the important questions.

A flush crept up my neck. “Always.”

“You alright?” he asked, pausing in the box stacking. “You seem quieter than normal.”

I was wondering why you haven’t kissed me, I thought.

But out loud, I said, “I’m so sorry about what happened on the boat, Uriel.”

He grinned, leaned forward, and tweaked my cheek. Heat flushed into my neck. “It was an accident. Accidents happen.”

“Yeah, but I could have—”

“Could have. Might have.” He shrugged. “But you didn’t. I forgive you, but I don’t think you need to be forgiven. So, are we okay?”

I nodded, but my heart still hurt. Uriel might forgive me, but I couldn’t forgive myself. Not yet, anyway. “Were you here the last time the portal got opened?”

“I was.” He turned back to his boxes and stacked another on top of the pile. “It was absolute carnage. The demons were so excited to finally have direct access to humanity that things were not pretty at all during the first few months of their new reign. There were a lot of deaths.”

I sucked in a sharp breath. “Do you think it’d be like that again now?”

“Honestly? Yes. That’s why we don’t have a moment to waste.”

* * *

Sailing a boat was something I definitely hadn’t learned in angel school. Why would they teach us about sterns and jibs and starboards when we would never (okay, almost never) have to use that knowledge? Angels have wings, and wings are a hell of a lot faster than a yacht. Luckily, the Order of the Fallen seemed to have a knack for this kind of thing, and they’d even rounded up some human crew members who were more than eager to get off the mainland. And the boat looked strangely better in the daylight. The dark red that had painted every surface seemed…faint somehow.

I sidled up to Sam and gave a nod toward the human crew members. “So, your boat looks like shit, but not as much as it did in New York.”

“The men here cleaned it up for us. It’s not perfect. That would take far more time than we have. But at least she’s in decent shape now.”

“Basically, we don’t have to sale for two weeks next to old blood stains.” I shuddered. “What do you think they were doing on this boat?”

Sam’s shoulders went tense, and he ground his teeth together. “What do you think they were doing, Erela?”

“Murdering humans,” I said softly, just as a hot tear ran down my cheek.

He gave a nod.

I blew out a breath and blinked away the tears. Now was not the time to cry, as much relief as that might bring to my tightly-wound emotions. “Sam. Do you ever feel like, I don’t know, we’re just as bad as they are? We have that darkness inside of us.”

Sam turned to me, and his fiery eyes matched the fear churning deep inside my gut. “No. Because all I have to do is look at you.”

My heart clenched tight.

Sam took my elbow and steered me toward the doorway that led down into the cabin area of the boat. I cast a glance over my shoulder at Ramiel, who stood tall, directing the crew members. “Why don’t I show you to your cabin?”

My heart thumped hard. “Am I the only one getting a personal tour?”

A cheeky smile spread across his lips. “No one else is getting a tour. I know which cabins are the best, remember? I want to make sure you get first pick before the others swarm in and take it themselves.”

“That’s sweet,” I couldn’t help but say with a shy smile. “But I don’t need the best room, Sam. I’d rather Ramiel have it. Or Lizzie.”

“Ramiel will want the room closest to the door. If you and Lizzie want to swap cabins at some point, then be my guest.” He led me down a long, thin hallway before pausing in front of a sleek wooden door that sat at the very end, all by itself. “First, I’d like you to see what I’m offering you.”

Was he talking about the cabin? Or something else?

I wet my lips. “Let’s see it then.”

Sam pushed open the door, rolled back his shoulders, and ushered me into the cabin with a satisfied smirk on his face. And I could see why he thought the room was pretty spectacular. There was a large, king-sized bed with fluffy white bedding, sandwiched between two gleaming wooden tables. A soft lamp illuminated the space, the light glinting off the porthole that gave an expansive view of the ocean outside the boat.

“How did you manage this?” I turned toward Sam. “I thought the demons had destroyed this place.”

“Like I said, we’ve been busy.” He gave a shrug and smiled. “While our new crew members were working on the decks, I cleaned up down here. I took the bedding from Lilith’s house. I thought you’d like it if we brought a part of her along with us.”

“Oh, Sam.”

He grinned. “Does that mean you like it?”

“Oh, I more than just like it. Some might say that I…”

Love it. But while Az had made a declaration to me during a tense, emotion-filled moment where none of us had been sure exactly how bad our casualties would end up being, Sam and I hadn’t yet expressed those kind of emotions. The two of us had shared far more than I’d shared with any of the other Fallen, but I didn’t want to voice my feelings aloud. Not yet, anyway. In fact, maybe it was because we’d shared so much that I was scared to voice my truth. I didn’t want to lose what we had. Just in case he didn’t see me that way. I knew he wanted me. I knew he cared. But I didn’t know how much further than that it went.

Of course, I wasn’t opposed to enjoying his affections, however deep, for all they were worth.

He arched an eyebrow. “Some might say that you what?”

Leaning forward, I pressed my palms flat to his warm chest. “Some might say that I want the room.”

He got the point. With a low growl, he lifted me from the floor and tossed me onto the bed as if I weighed nothing more than a single angelic feather. The bed itself was surprisingly soft and bouncy, and I sunk into the luxurious covers as a gasp slipped out of my throat.

“I love it when you throw me around,” I whispered, gazing up at him while he slowly pulled his shirt over his head. The chest laid bare was sculpted to perfection, hardened from years spent training for battle. There were scars, too. Two small crisscrosses that dotted his abs. It only added to the allure of him.

He was strong. He was powerful. He was mine.

He grasped my wrists in his hands and pinned them to the bed on either side of me. I squirmed against his touch, only half-heartedly trying to break free. Sam was taking control, and the thrill of his raw maleness made an aching heat spread between my thighs.

“Do you know that from the moment I saw you…” He trailed hot kisses across the curve of my jaw as he murmured his words, “I wanted to have you underneath me just like this? Squirming for me? Aching for me?”

My core clenched tight. My god, what was he doing? Sam and I had spent more than one night together but never like this. His words were so raw. They were animalistic. And something deep within me was answering to it like my body never had before.

His grip around my wrists loosened for just long enough for him to rip my shirt wide open. I gasped and glanced down at the shredded material, my chest now bare for his hungry eyes. He dropped his gaze to my peaked breasts, smiling with appreciation. And then he rubbed his thumb against my nipple, and I shuddered in response.

“There is no one else like you, Erela. And there never will be.”

He pushed off the bed and slid his jeans to the floor, shimmying mine from my thighs after he climbed back onto the bed. When he settled back over me again, I thought for a moment that his dark, flashing eyes meant he would grab ahold of my wrists, taking control just like before. But instead, he grabbed me by the waist, flipped me over, and growled into my ear. My entire body shuddered in response.

I gasped as he pushed my face against the silk sheets, his fingers twisting tightly in my hair. For a moment, he stilled. The only sound was my heart hammering loudly in my ears.

“Is this okay?” he asked. “I only want to do something you’d enjoy.”

“Of course it’s okay,” I whispered, my whole body taut with anticipation of what would come next.

His fingers tightened around my hair, and the length of him pushed inside of me. Stars lit up in my eyes. Hot electric pleasure shot through my core. The first few thrusts were slow and caring, just as they’d been when we’d first made love. But it didn’t take long for the animal to return. He grasped me tight, his slow rhythm intensifying into pounding thrusts. I could barely breathe around the aching pleasure that filled up every molecule of my being.

He pushed down on my face even harder. His hands tightened even more around my hair. He was taking me as his, fully commanding my body. And the roughness of it all made it that much more exhilarating. My pleasure was building up inside of me strong and fast. I screamed out his name when it finally shook through me, my whole body spasming like it never had before.