Aarav gave us two days to leave, but we planned to head out by morning. Luckily, the elders allowed Mia to stay while she healed, so Jules slept with her in the medic tent for the night.

Of everything, I feared saying goodbye to Payne the most. I knew Linda, Mia, Lilly, and Aarav would watch over him, but we’d built up a strong bond in the last five months. He represented everything I once loved about Josiah. He represented the naive innocence I’d abandoned when I left Stonewell Manor.

He couldn’t come to where we were going. Although I didn’t know Dominique well, she was the reason we were able to escape. I owed it to her to keep him safe and happy, which meant I’d have to leave him behind.

He was lingering outside the tent he and Linda lived in, watching Patrick, Huxley, and me approach. “So you’re gonna leave me, huh?” he asked. His boyish face was scowling at us, and the bright, glowing trees of the Deadlands left ominous shadows along his pale skin.

“Ah, come on, kid. It'll be fine! We'll be back before you know it,” Patrick joked while nudging his shoulder. I sensed that he was trying to lighten the mood, but Payne didn’t budge.

“Why can’t I go?” he pleaded. Linda emerged from her tent to see what the commotion was. She then frowned at his dirty shirt and began brushing off his clothes.

“How many times do I have to tell you not to climb the Deadlands trees?” she scolded. “I’ve told you numerous times, we need to keep your clothes clean.”

“I don’t care,” he said with a pout while pulling away from her. “Why are you leaving me, Ash? I can help!”

I knelt so that we were eye level, peering into his crystal blue eyes and forcing memories of a young Josiah from my mind. “You’ll be safe here. We’ll come back, and I’ll show you Dormas. Don’t you want to see Dormas?”

I’d been telling him about Dormas since the day we met. Keeping my memory of home alive gave me hope. He, too, seemed infatuated with the town of cabins and kind people. He wanted to visit my bakery and check out Cyler’s treehouse. I vowed to show him one day.

“I guess,” he said. “My mom said you’d play with me forever. She said you’d be my best friend and keep me safe.” My heart ached. Payne had been forced to grow up quickly, but he was still a child, after all.

“You know we can still be friends, right? Me being far away doesn’t change that. Nothing will stop us from being friends.”

I looked behind me, and Huxley and Patrick discreetly filed into our tent. Linda stayed put, eyeing Payne with annoyance and...jealousy? I knew that she’d always been jealous of Josiah’s and my close relationship. Now she was projecting onto Payne as well. I should have wanted to keep Payne from her. She was a major source of sadness in my life. However, I also wanted some small form of redemption for Mistress Stonewell. I wanted her to be loved. I wanted her to right the wrongs of her past.

“You know Mistress Stonewell will need to learn how to fish since we’ll be gone. Do you think you could be a big boy and take her to the creek and show her? I know she's excited to spend more time with you. Mistress Stonewell loves you very much.”

Linda froze but kept her expression cool. I'd never heard her tell Josiah that she loved him. She never voiced her feelings, and looking back, I wondered if she regretted not letting him know. Josiah died thinking that his mother prioritized her affair with Lackley over his wellbeing. I knew, if given the chance to do it all over, she would pick Josiah. She would have always picked Josiah. But maybe now, she could pick Payne—in her own weird little way, at least until she returns.

Payne looked to Linda with a grin. “Do you really? Can we go?” he asked her. I found it funny how quickly a child’s emotions could flip. He went from anger to sadness. Now he seemed excited.

Linda pressed her lips but didn’t shoot him down. “Go clean up and get in bed, and tomorrow you can take me there. But I’m not touching a fish,” she quickly added.

“Yes, Mistress Stonewell,” he said, straightening his back and turning to obediently enter the tent. He paused at the entrance, though, and turned to look at me over his shoulder.

“If you see my mom, can you tell her I miss her?” he asked. I shouldn’t make promises I couldn’t keep. I knew that there were consequences for building up expectations in a child’s mind when the world was ending.

Yet, I couldn’t help myself. “If I see her, I’ll bring her back.”

Payne bit his lip to hide his grin, but I saw it anyways. And despite the nagging feeling in my chest that I would fail him, I lightened at his happiness.

“Bye, Ash,” he said before disappearing into their tent.

I turned to look at Linda Stonewell. I didn’t expect to exchange any heartfelt words of comfort and closure. She wouldn’t hug me goodbye or offer me forgiveness for her son’s death.

“Well, get on with it then,” I said, preparing myself for another one of her insults.

“Companions are a completely different breed of Walker. They’re coy and flirtatious. They are put together like an Elite but lack the same restrictions.”

I was surprised by her comments and felt unsure of where this was going. “Keep your eyes down, but don’t do that annoying thing you do when you clutch your dress in your fist. There’s an underlying confidence in the way a Companion is submissive.”

Instinctually, I lowered my gaze, feeling unsure of how to navigate this seemingly helpful conversation. Where was the insult? The pain? The feeling of unworthiness she so easily forced onto me?

“I never liked you. A pretty, little, immune Walker. A pet. Just another trophy on my husband’s mantle I had to compete with. Josiah clung to you, but I don’t think it was ever really love. My son was so starved for affection, he stole it from wherever he could. I failed him in that regard. He wanted me to be the bad guy. He wanted to blame me for Lackley’s influence in his life, but he craved a father just as much as I craved a husband. You know who the real victim is in all of this?”

I didn’t move. Didn’t breathe. This was the most authentic conversation Mistress Stonewell and I had ever had, and I was equal parts broken and thankful. Linda never respected me enough to tell me the truth. I was never deserving of her time nor her effort. These words hurt, they cut me to the bone, but it also meant that she found me worthy of her honesty.

“No one. No one is the victim. We all are a product of the decisions we make, and we all have to suffer the consequences. I’m not going to give you my forgiveness. Nor am I going to wish you luck. The greatest lesson I could ever give you is to never seek validation from others.” With that ominous statement, Mistress Stonewell left me to join Payne in their tent. And for the first time since knowing her, I didn’t leave feeling bad about myself.

The next morning, there was a strange mix of fear and anticipation in the air. We’d spent the evening not talking about last night or the inevitable danger ahead of us. Aarav and a tired looking Mia met us in the camp center to say goodbye. She was pale but stubbornly trying to stand. Luckily, Aarav kept his hand on her shoulder, gently encouraging Mia to sit in the makeshift wheelchair they’d made out of a repurposed wagon.

Jules hugged Mia tightly, and for a moment I felt envious of their friendship. The Resistance had bonded them. Adjusting my pack higher up on my shoulder, I shuffled closer and grinned when Mia’s face brightened.

“Ah, my Agrio! Look at you, dressed to kill and ready to take on the empire,” she joked while holding her arms out for me to hug her. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around my Scavenger friend, breathing in her woodsy scent and reveling in the contact. “Do you remember what your name means?” Mia asked while pulling away. “It means Wild One. Remember that there is structure even in the wild. Act with intention. Take time to think, and give ’em hell.”

My eyes watered a bit, and Huxley bent down to give his dear friend a hug as I went to see Payne. Linda had opted to sleep-in this morning, but I wasn’t bothered by her absence. I was taking her advice to heart, I wasn’t seeking her approval anymore.

“You listen to Mistress Stonewell,” I said while smoothing his light blond hair, pausing when I realized I was mimicking her fussing so I ruffled his boyish tresses instead. “But challenge her to do fun stuff too,” I added with a wink.

His bottom lip jutted out in a slight pout, but his steel eyes were locked on me as he nodded enthusiastically. “I’m taking her fishing today,” he said with forced excitement.

“Be sure to make her hook the worm.”

Standing, I looked around the camp as the sun rose over the white leaves of the glowing trees. I wondered where Lilly was but smiled when I heard her worn voice calling out with huffs as she climbed the hill in the distance.

“You idiots better not leave without saying goodbye to me, first.”

I smiled as Kemper ran to assist her. She was carrying a pack almost bigger than she, overflowing with various jars containing herbs. Her hair was frizzy and eyes red and puffy.

“I thought I had two days to prepare for your leaving. I’ve been gathering supplies all night,” she complained while rubbing her nose and fumbling towards me.

“I included the basics. I enjoyed tutoring you, Agrio. I hope to see you again.”

Lilly's eyes shone with emotion, but she blinked it away before letting a single tear fall. Although our time together was short, I had grown to appreciate Lilly and her abrupt ways. “Teach them a thing or two, will ya?” she joked. We had spent many hours arguing over the benefits and shortcomings of modern medicine, and I genuinely looked forward to showing Maverick some of what I’d learned.

“Thank you, Lilly,” I said with a grin. The time and knowledge she’d poured into me were invaluable. I didn’t doubt for a moment that I would use it.

“I have something for you,” I said while snapping my fingers. Behind me, Patrick dug through my pack and pulled out the sketch pad I’d been working on since studying under Lilly. “It’s for your next student. I sketched all the plants and labeled them with their healing properties. Hopefully, it can help.”

Lilly greedily took the leather-bound journal from me and thumbed through the pages as a single, fat tear rolled down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away before it could fall on the sketchbook. We’d spoken briefly about how she wished there were a way she could share the information with more people, but she didn’t know how to write.

“You’re making an emotional woman out of me, Agrio,” she huffed. “Travel safe.”

She then clutched the journal to her chest and filed in line beside a smirking Aarav. It was rare the grumpy healer showed emotion, and the moment she caught him chuckling at her, she popped him behind the head.

Huxley placed his hand on my lower back, gently encouraging me to leave. But Jules was less subtle in her desire to get moving.

“Alright, idiots, let's get the show on the road. If we leave now, we can be there by nightfall.”

My guys looked to me, and I sensed that they were waiting for me to change my mind. I appreciated that they were willing to let me take the lead.

“Let's save your brothers,” I said with a sigh. “So I can kill them.”

Jules whooped. “Now we’re talking!”