"What is that?" I asked, hoping my face showed how appalled I was with the piece of fabric before me.

"It's a sweater, Mako." Marcus replied. I stared at the fabric like it was death itself.

"It's hideous." I scrunched my face in disgust. The weird matching of brown, green and red followed by the weird yellow and black ball things that were plastered all over it made me cringe.

"Firefly, that's the point. It's an ugly sweater. It's a must at some Christmas parties."

"Humans..." I mumbled while Marcus laughed at my displeased expression.

I was hanging out in Marcus' room on a chilly Sunday afternoon. The end of the cycle approached – with that came the Christmas holiday that humans and many shifters celebrated in harmony.

I had never had the privilege of such an experience. The facility didn't celebrate holidays. The day was like any other, but the Owner was kind enough to let us sleep in an hour later than usual.

I still remembered lying on the cold, library floor, opening my favorite Christmas story of a little girl named Christina.

Christina was five-cycles-old. I assumed she was human, but I couldn't help imagining her as a shifter like me. She had beautiful blonde locks that bounced with every skip as she pranced around the room in glee, waiting for her parents to give her permission to open her gifts that were neatly wrapped underneath the tree.

The tree was such a magnificent sight to see. Its dark green, bristled leaves were covered in sparkly ornaments and tinsel. Red, green, gold, and white – with little diamonds and sparkles in snowflake designs.

I imagined the strong, fresh scent of pine when I looked at the tall tree on the page I was on, remembering the cycle Elaine had brought a miniature Christmas tree to the facility when I was six cycles.

The tree had rainbow colored lights that turned on and off in a repetitive pattern with a bright white star at the top. It reminded me of the stars that stayed high in the sky at night – the same stars I would imagine and gaze into the darkness that covered the sky outside my cell window, praying for just one chance to enjoy Christmas like Christina did.

I'd gather as many books as my little hands could carry, placing them around the single chair in the library – my imaginary Christmas tree. I pictured the books as presents – having beautiful wrapping paper that glittered and shone, wrapped with gold and silver bows so tempting that I'd have to put my hands behind my back to deter myself from opening them.

I would be like Christina and be patient too; waiting for my imaginary parents to give me permission to open the presents before me.

Her small puppy would enter the room, jumping up and down around Christina as she continued to be patient. I'd imagine my own companion – my mind pictured a kitty with mismatched eyes, walking around in anticipation to get its turn to pounce on the decorations.

Her parents would finally arrive, hand in hand, as they gave Christina the go ahead. They embraced one another as they watched from the doorway, Christina opened her first gift with a big, bright smile.

I always got teary eyed when I reached the next scene. Christina's first gift was an item of her dreams: a locket that carried a picture of the family she cared so dearly about.

She rose to her feet, with tears in her eyes as her parents approached her, lifting her up as she cried. Not only was there a picture of herself, parents and puppy, but an image of her baby brother, who was Santa's present to her.

Christina had dreamed of having another sibling – wanting to be an older sister and not be all alone when her parents were not home. She had gotten her wish in the arms of the people who loved her; thanking Santa and the gods for making her wish come true.

It didn't matter if I was the young girl or the woman I was now. My reaction was always the same – sitting in the single chair, looking at my book creation, tears rolling down my flushed cheeks as my imagination faded and reality sank in.

I never expected to be rescued that fateful day; a group of men saved me from the hands of the bear shifter, taking me into their care and revealing my true identity.

I was the Princess of Heila, and the four men who came to my rescue were my star knights – their duty was to find me and bring me back home.

So much happened after those events, some good and some bad. But with all that had happened, I got to meet people who showed me so much compassion and concern.

I was soon introduced to EliaseAnne, who'd became just as important as my star knights, as well as Kai, my fifth knight.

Now we were all together, deciding to check out a nice resort in Minato. The boys wanted to see the new establishment, bringing me along to view the freshly built resort. Due to our status, we were the first to check into the resort, spending an adventurous week within the large estate and doing plenty of activities to make the time fly.

Today was our last day, and the others said they had something to do. Marcus stayed with me, stating the meeting they had would be boring, and they wanted me to relax and enjoy our Christmas holiday.

I was happy to be able to celebrate the holiday, for the first time in my life, but I honestly had no idea what humans and shifters did besides opening presents and drinking eggnog throughout the chilly night.

I sat on the floor. My back leaned against Marcus' bed, a book in my lap about Christmas traditions – ugly sweaters being one of them. Marcus sat opposite of me, calming down from his laughing fit at my displeasure regarding the ugly sweater he'd bought last year down on Earthala.

He lowered the appalling sweater, tossing it to the side on his navy-blue suitcase stationed against the wall. He placed his hands to rest behind him, relaxing in his cross-legged position.

I couldn't help but take a moment to enjoy his attractive appearance. His brown locks were past his shoulders and halfway down his back, currently loose in all their messy glory. He'd finally gotten a haircut when his hair grew longer than mine, adding to Eli's complaints about hair clogging their shower.

His sculpted toned chest was on full display; his muscles made my hands crave to brush themselves along the lines of his pecs and abs. His large markings that rested on his right shoulder always caught my attention – the multiple thick lines only heightened his attractiveness.

The only clothes he wore was his navy-blue sweatpants, which hung rather low on his waist as he sat back; those addictive V-lines made an attempt to seduce me as they peeked out of the waistband.

I wore a grey spaghetti strapped shirt; the top part low enough to display my cleavage and to show the patterned design on my sapphire blue bra – wearing that specific color and matching panties when I found out I'd be spending my time with Marcus. My shorts matched his sweatpants; the navy blue, short shorts fit firmly on my thighs. From my workout sessions and regular eating habits, I was gaining muscle in my hips, thighs, and booty. I was just happy it wasn't going to my waist, giving me a nice curved body.

I was impressed at the reality of how comfortable we'd all become with one another. Only a few rotations ago, Marcus would only walk around shirtless when we would train or if he was half asleep and forgot. Now, he didn't hesitate to stroll in during breakfast bare chested.

It felt like an accomplishment to be at the comfort level we currently were with one another; especially since, I had to become comfortable with five lovers unlike many other shifters who’d taken rotations to get comfortable with just one lover.

I licked my lips, uncrossed my legs, and changed my position to my hands and knees as I leaned forward, giving Marcus a soft kiss.

He smiled against my lips, returning the kiss with one of his own; his hand found my cheek as we deepened it. We made it short; our little make out routine before I switched books. My kindle was still charging, so I enjoyed the mini library in each room, changing books whenever I finished which took between thirty to sixty minutes.

I rose to my feet, walking over to the bookshelf and returning the previous book to its section. My eyes scanned the multiple titles – they were mostly Christmas books due to the time of the cycle.

My fingers trailed the spines of the books aimlessly as I continued my search for the next book to devour as we waited for the others; my eyes landed on a familiar spine.

My finger stopped on the dark pink, covered book – Christina's Wishful Christmas written in white lettering made my heart skip a beat. It couldn't be.

I immediately pulled the book out slowly, taking caution as if it was the same tattered book, whose pages barely clung to the run-down spine back at the facility. I smiled at the cover of the little, blonde girl looked up at the starry sky with her hands pressed together in prayer.

I made my way back to my spot, sitting down before I began to re-read the story as if I didn't know it by heart. This book was one of the first things I remembered reading at the facility – Elaine had used it to help me learn to read. I tried to ignore the tremble in my hand as I turned the pages smiling; my eyes stinging with tears.

I couldn't believe all these rotations had passed; this little story book had been my savior when my heart ached and craved for the love I never thought I would obtain. I took my time reading the words; each colorful page appeared even more vibrant in this version.

When my eyes landed on the page where Christina's parents informed her that she'd be a big sister soon, a tear dropped onto the page. Tear after tear stained the final colorful page as my eyes were glued to it.

I could imagine little me on the floor, yet again, reading the final page and realizing, I'd never have a family to hug and hold close to my heart.

A hand brushed against my cheek, wiping the tear that had just fallen from my pooling eyes. I looked up to see Marcus – those sapphire jeweled eyes flickered with worry and sadness.

"Firefly? What’s wrong baby?" He whispered. I gave him a sad smile, swallowing the lump in my throat as I tried to compose myself. I closed the book not wanting to continue staining it with my tears.

I was going to speak, but the tears continued to fall; the past still affected me. I knew it was behind me now; my life at the facility long gone, but it still felt as if it was yesterday that I'd awakened in the dim room, chained to the wall as I waited for that ugly bear shifter to come and drag me to breakfast before the same events began – experiments, torture, and fighting.

Marcus shuffled forward; his crossed legs barely touched mine before he pulled me into his arms, cradling me in his lap. I cried into his bare chest; my tears streamed down as sobs broke out of me. I needed this moment to vent the emotions that always clung to me at this time of the year.

Just once, I wished for a happy Christmas like the storybook – to go sledding or have a snowball fight or even have a nice dinner together with all my friends around the table. Most importantly, to be able to give to the loved ones that made my holiday so special.

"Makoto, talk to me. Please?" Marcus whispered against my ear, brushing the strand of my hair that had fallen from my messy bun.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying. It's just...that book." I whispered. Marcus didn't rush me, allowing me to calm down and relax in his embrace; his left arm wrapped around my waist as his right hand continued to brush away the tears.

I took a deep breath, composing myself enough to continue. I lifted my head to face him; his concerned eyes landed on mine which were probably red and glossy.

"When I was at the facility, we didn't celebrate Christmas. It was just the same old schedule - breakfast, experiments, arena fighting, and maybe, I'd eat lunch or dinner depending on my condition. I guess you can say the only difference is he allowed us to sleep in for an hour." I let out a low laugh, looking away.

"Mako." Marcus whispered; his hand navigated my head to look back at him. I continued.

"Since I was the Owner's favorite, I got a few hours off depending on the day. On Christmas, the staff always had a huge party that the Owner did just for them, so I'd get a moment to sneak off to the library. That book was the only Christmas storybook, so I'd read it every single cycle, to the point the pages were barely staying attached to the spine." I explained. I lifted my hands to stare at them for a moment as if the book that was a few inches away was in my grasp.

"I'd read the first half of it with such excitement and joy, taking a moment to pray to the Starlight gods that this cycle, I'd be able to celebrate Christmas with my family. Obviously, I didn't know I truly had a family as I assumed I was an orphan; the Owner, Elaine and Lily had been my only family. I'd imagine that we'd all sit around the table, laughing as Elaine made us a huge feast, and we would rejoice that we had a moment to relax with one another. The next day would be me and Lily running to the Christmas tree to open gifts while the Owner and Elaine watched us from afar.  Hah, I even imagined a little kitten with mismatched eyes running around in glee."

My shoulders sank as my hands fell to my knees, which were pulled against my chest as I rested in Marcus’ lap. I continued.

"Even after Lily’s passing, I couldn't change the image I created. Even though Elaine stopped coming and the Owner became wicked and evil, my mind would not wander away from that same image I'd created all those cycles before. I'd taken all the books from the shelves and packed them around the single chair in the room, pretending it was a Christmas tree, and the books were my presents from all the shifters of the facility who loved me."

I returned to look at him.

"I'd pick up the book and finish it, landing on that page before I'd break down. I realized my dream would always be that – a dream. I would never receive gifts from my loved ones, being both envied and joyous over my good luck. I would never get to see Lily smile in delight again. I would never witness the kindness that appeared in Elaine's eyes as she served a Christmas dinner, larger and more extravagant than any we've ever had. I would never get to see the proud look in the Owner's eye as he watched me open my gifts from afar.

“Gosh, I'd never have a pet of my own. That's what always plagued me and caused me to cry helplessly for hours in the cold room. So...um, that's why I suddenly broke down. I'm sorry." I apologized. I didn't want to put a damper on our time together with the past.

I'd honestly thought I'd moved on from my past at the facility, trying my best to keep it locked away, so it wouldn't interfere with my new life – a fresh beginning. Yet, it was times like these where the lock came undone and the memories rose to the surface.

Marcus was silent for a moment, before his lips pressed against my forehead; his arm tightened around my waist before his hand gently pulled me to lay back against his chest.

"Don't apologize Makoto. You have no reason to." He whispered as his hands soothingly stroked my hair.

"But..." I began but trailed off.

"When I was young, I was in a similar situation. The place I was...it was difficult to celebrate Christmas. I'd be able to pick one book to read to waste the time, so I'd choose the Christmas book we had there, a boy similar to this girl you talked about. He'd been poor for most of his life and had wished for one Christmas to be with his family in a nice warm house with food and presents around a Christmas tree." He explained, taking a strained breath before continuing.

"This particular Christmas he wished he could do one good thing for his beloved mother, so he stood on the street for hours, begging for change. There were kind shifters who generously gave, while others kicked mud and snow at him. A man stood from afar, watching the little boy stand there for hours before he approached. He asked what he was doing on the street and where his family was.

"The boy explained his situation to the man, and he nodded in understanding. He helped the boy get his mom a nice gift for Christmas and asked the boy to show him where he lived. When he found out they lived in a cardboard box on the street, the man was horrified. So, he told them he'd be right back, and they waited for his return."

I looked up at him, my eyes wide. "Does this have a bad ending? Cause, if it does, that won't help cheer me up." I confessed. He chuckled, leaning down and kissing me real quick.

"No, now let me finish." He had a small smile on his lips.

I nodded, wanting him to continue.

"They waited for hours till the clock reached fifteen minutes to twelve, and the boy realized, the man wasn’t coming back. He was just about to return to his cardboard home when the man returned by car and asked him and his family to hop in. The man took them to a huge, warm house, the aroma of delicious food filled the air around them and the sight of the long, food-filled dining table had the boy’s mouth watering. The man told the boy and his family to eat till their bellies were full and that the house was a gift to the Mom from her son. He then told the boy that as long as you work hard and prayed to the gods, you’d always be rewarded." He finished.

I smiled; the final set of tears rolled down my cheek. "What a happy ending." I whispered.

He nodded. "I read it over and over, telling myself that if I worked hard and prayed to the gods, I'd eventually be rewarded." He replied.

I could hear the pain in his voice. He blinked his eyes, looking away to compose himself. I let my arms wrap around his neck as I changed position, pressing my body against him as I gave him a tight hug.

He kissed my neck; his face rested on my shoulder as we hugged.

"Did you ever receive your reward?” I whispered.

He nodded. "Yes. I landed in Heila and met the boys on a mission to find you. With our hard work and prayers to the Starlight gods, we finally found you. Now my ultimate prize is having you in my arms."

I leaned back to look into his eyes. "I love you." I whispered. His smile widened; a single tear rolled down his cheek.

"I love you, too, Makoto Heart. I know the past is hard, but I promise this Christmas will be different from those cycles. I swear it; the gods as my witnesses." He vowed.

I relaxed in his embrace; his arms around my waist as we sat in a comforting silence.

I'll make sure to enjoy this Christmas, with the men bestowed to protect me and who have accepted all my flaws. I will drown my sad memories with new ones filled with happiness, laughter, and love this holiday.

In stars, we trust.