I woke before sunrise, and an achy soreness reminded me what had happened. I burrowed my face into Yukihyo, trying to hide from the memory. A warm body curled against my back, and a large hand covered my hip. It was Fitz.
“They escaped. Didn’t they?” I could taste the saltiness of Yukihyo’s skin as I mumbled against him. Sheets and blankets moved slightly with Fitz as he turned.
Yukihyo said, “Nico, Drex, Eli, and many others hunt them.” Neither he nor Fitz would say anything more. When my husbands got up to assist in the search, I remained in bed.
Later, I refused to leave my wing, but Momma kept me company. We were curled up together alone in my bed when I asked her, “What happened?”
“Farowyn ordered his men to follow your attackers and take them into custody. Then, he brought you home. Ryan treated you and verified the identity of the male who violated you through genetic samples and the residual genetic material on the eye film he used. Farowyn’s men apprehended three males who were placed in confinement a few miles from here. They were questioned. A few of your husbands claimed their right to exact vengeance, but their punishments were interrupted by an explosion at the facility.”
“Was anyone hurt?”
“Yes, there were injuries, but no fatalities.” She lifted my hand to her lips and kissed my fingers. “Teagan, Flavian and Maxim escaped. They planned ahead and had inside help. We don’t know from whom.”
“Momma.”
“Yes, my sweet?”
“I want to go home.”
“You are home, Teagan.”
My eyes spilled over. “I want to go home to Arachne for a while. You and Papa can come with me.”
“You are safe in the Palace, Teagan.”
“He was here, inside my wing, near my children. I’ll feel safer on my land with my spiders all around me, Momma.” I hid my face. Why was this so difficult? He hadn’t raped me. Had he? I felt dirty and ashamed. “He wouldn’t stop.” Momma held me, and I tried really hard not to cry.
Preparations were made for our trip as soon as Momma had made my wishes known. No one argued. Papa and Momma weren’t coming with us, though. Yukihyo was having the Empress loaded with merchandise for Hiroshi. I occupied myself with staring through my sitting room windows out over the lake at the swans. Their heads dipped into the water and then lifted as small fish made their way down their gullets.
“Princess, Cormac is here to see you,” Terre said. She pulled a blanket back over me from where it had fallen. I clutched it to my chest. “Won’t you see him for just a moment?”
“If it’s what you want, fine.”
Terre rested her hand on my shoulder before rubbing it down my back. The fabric of her skirt rustled when she walked to the doors. Zared sat across the room from me reading something on his vid-screen. He had refused to leave me since my encounter with Flavian. My cheeks burned. I had taunted Clark by calling him “little dick.” I wondered if his father had intended to punish me for the insult, but with his fingers only to prove a point. I wiped at my eyes with my blanket.
“Ensign, you have been remiss in your studies,” Cormac stated.
I laid my temple on the back of the couch and continued to watch the swans. “Is that what you came to say?”
“Days ago, you were laughing. You were happier than any of us have ever seen you. Don’t give him the power to destroy you, Teagan.” Cormac had kneeled down in front of me. I risked a glance at his eyes before looking away. “Don’t throw away what you have been working to earn.”
“I can’t stay here right now. I need to go home for a while. He was in this room. He was right here.”
“Teagan, I brought some of your friends with me. They’ve been worried about you. Will you see them?”
“Who?”
Cormac stood and walked to the door.
“Cormac! Good to see you. It appears you have brought some company to cheer up my darling.” Papa was shaking hands with people.
Otto placed a cup of coffee in my hands. It startled me. I glanced over at Zared. Telepathically, I asked, “Are these visitors dangerous? Do they have neural blockers like the one Inquisitor Flavian had?”
Out loud, Zared said, “You are safe. I will not leave your side. I will allow no one with menacing thoughts near you.” Zared’s long, dove-grey hair was tied back at the nape of his neck.
For an irrational moment, I was afraid that Papa might not be Papa, or that Cormac could be an imposter. How did I know Rolf and Otto were who they claimed to be? Flavian had looked exactly like Yukihyo. I had only been able to tell the difference through our bond. With Parvacs, I couldn’t always feel who they were.
“Teagan.” I turned to Zared when he called my name. He filled my mind with my forest. I breathed in and smelled the air. My eyes grew hot, and I tried not to cry, but it was naptime. Neema wouldn’t know. “Teagan, can anyone but those who are bound to you show you such sights?”
“No,” I whispered.
“I read each person who comes near you, every time, vigilantly. You are safe.” Zared went back to reading his vid-screen.
Papa walked across the room. My eyes strayed from him to Luca’s portrait, and I felt renewed sorrow.
“Hey,” a male voice said. I looked over and saw Cedrenus. Binder and Ross were with him. “We brought you this.” Cedrenus handed me a stuffed toy swan with a pink bow around its neck.
“Are you okay?” Ross asked.
I shook my head.
“We miss you at school,” Cedrenus said.
“Yes, so do the little girls. You’re coming back, right?” Binder asked.
Papa said, “Of course, she is. She just needs a little time away.”
Cormac said, “That is a relief to hear. You are part of a team. If you drop out, these boys will have to repeat the year.”
“Why should they be punished because of me?”
“You are on a team. Each of your grades is a quarter of the whole. After blowing up a ship and injuring their instructor, they won’t pass without your points,” Cormac dryly stated.
“Don’t worry about it,” Cedrenus said with a wry smile. “We earned those demerits.”
“Due to the circumstances, an allowance can be made. Rovek has agreed to accompany you and your team to Arachne. You can continue your studies and training while you are there.”
Zared said, “That sounds like a good idea. They can also serve as additional guards.”
Papa said, “Good. It is settled. Go pack your things and return.”
Cormac and my team left.
A small feeling of relief flowed through me once I was in my sitting room aboard the Empress. Thunderdrop had already begun construction of a new web above Sue’s tank. My Omnes Videntes assured me that they continually scanned the minds of everyone aboard. However, each time the lift opened, I felt a small pang of fear. I caught sight of the steely expression on Izaac’s face.
Telepathically, he said, “I’m right here. If a mind causes me the slightest concern, these lift doors will remain closed and an airborne sedative will be released into the lift.”
Kaoti stood behind me with his usual arsenal of weapons. Violet was ecstatic about visiting Arachne with Poppy and couldn’t wait to show her baby off to all of her old acquaintances. From his web, Thunderdrop blinked at me with too much innocence. I knew he was up to something. Inquisitor Rovek, Cedrenus, Binder, and Ross joined us. I offered them all quarters on my deck. The boys seemed excited. I raised a questioning eyebrow at Kaoti.
Kaoti said, “They are on your ship, in your presence, and are travelling to a different galaxy where they hope to explore a planet inhabited by sentient spiders and beautiful females, like Violet. This may be the most remarkable experience of their lives, if you don’t ruin it with your depression.”
Outraged, my jaw dropped as I stared at my bodyguard. “I never ruin anything. This trip was my idea anyway.”
“You are morose.”
“Me? Have you looked in the mirror? You could be a visual representation of the word.”
“I am a warrior in complete control of my emotions at all times. I do not allow others to control my emotional responses. That is a weakness. Toughen up.”
“Toughen up? You don’t understand.” Thoughts of laying helplessly before Flavian, helpless to make him stop ran through my mind.
“I understand.”
“You could never understand.”
Kaoti sighed. “He will be cut into bloody pieces at the first opportunity, if not by me than by any number of individuals. Personally, I enjoy the hunt and hope to claim him as a trophy. If you desire it, I will mount the offending pieces of him on a plaque for you.”
“You think this is amusing?”
“Nothing amuses me, except perhaps your hair at the moment.”
My jaw dropped as my hands lifted to my hair. It was a bit tangled. “You, asshole!” I got up and went for him, shoving my shoulder into his gut. Kaoti went down. An expression of mild surprise appeared on his face. “In control of your emotions, my ass! We’ll see about that!”
I knew Mr. Stoic Assassin’s weaknesses. I got the hems of his jacket and shirt out of the way and started tickling him. He made a snort of sound.
“You can’t help it, Kaoti. You can try not to laugh, but you can’t help it. Neema and I know you’re a big faker!”
Fear I was losing had me blowing a big raspberry on Kaoti’s ribs. That did it. He started howling with laughter and tried to get away from my fingers that had found the right spots on his ribs. When tears started to leak from his eyes and he was gasping for breaths in between deep uncontrollable laughs, I stopped.
“Take that, fierce warrior.”
With a straight face, Kaoti said, “I was laughing at your hair.”
I whacked him on his arm. “I’ll wash my fucking hair. You’re such an asshole.” I stormed off to my bedroom.
Kaoti got to his feet and repaired the disarray of his uniform and weapons. Violet invaded his personal space, wrapped her arms around his neck, and gave him a toe curling kiss. “It’s going to take her at least thirty minutes to get those tangles out. Come with me to our quarters.”
Dutifully, Kaoti followed his little Arachnean bride but not before grinning at the other males on the deck. The cadets stared at him with open mouths.
“He needs a raise,” Fitz said.
“Oh, he’s getting one for Violet right now,” Phillip said. “Ow!” Phillip yelped as he rubbed his arm where Terre had pinched him.
“Oh, it’s not for what you just said. It’s that you didn’t think of it yourself. I cannot abide with her sadness. You might make an effort to be more charming, like Captain Aegisthus.”
Phillip spluttered. “Charming like Kaoti? You think he’s more charming than me?”
Terre crossed her arms over her chest, raised a delicate eyebrow, and tilted her head ever so slightly as she raised her left shoulder. Then, in a swirl of long skirts, she followed after Teagan.
“Terre, baby! You wound me!”
“Do not refer to me as an infant, Dr. Svenson,” she said without turning.
Yukihyo sat on a chair with a vid-screen and laughed.
“What are you doing?” Phillip demanded.
“I’m sending Hiroshi a video of you striking out, yet again.”
“Yet again?”
“Yes, I have been cataloguing your courtship.”
“Asshole,” Phillip mumbled.
After stepping into my shower, I felt my ship lift up into the atmosphere. Already, I missed Momma and Papa, but I had to get away for a while. Why had the Inquisitors taken me? Was Flavian retaliating against me for embarrassing his son, or because I had paved the way for females to join their ranks? What did their merchant accomplice, Lewis Soval have to do with it? No one was telling me anything. When I stepped from the bathroom, I found Terre waiting for me with an expensive floral-patterned dress. Large green leaves and yellow blossoms rested on white. Since I liked the flowers, I put it on, even though I would have preferred black pants and a grey shirt. Next, she did my hair. Then, she fastened the necklace Quaid had given me around my neck with its palm-sized emerald.
When we entered the sitting room, Nico kissed my cheek and then stared into my eyes for a long moment before taking my hand and leading me over to sit beside him on a couch. Whatever it was he had tried to tell me with his eyes had been indecipherable.
Neema stood, and toys scattered noisily to the carpet around her. She ran to the nursery. “Pierce, I want dress like Mommy!”
Pierce grinned at me and followed after her.
Out of the corner of my eye, Farowyn caught my attention. He was staying on my deck, but his men were quartered a deck below with my Ponidi brothers, guards, and crew. I felt safer having him with me.
The journey to Arachne was peaceful. Sparrow and Xavier came out of their room long enough to grab some food and would then disappear again. Tracy and Jazon were a bit more sociable, but not by much. Drex, Eli, and Rovek often disappeared to the command deck. After a few days in space, I began to feel better and not so jittery.
I found Cedrenus, Binder, and Ross on Deck Three gazing out of a viewport. They turned to me and gave me the looks I couldn’t stand, the ones that were full of concern. “I’m getting really behind in chemistry and math. Actually, that’s an understatement. I stopped understanding anything two chapters ago.”
Binder grinned at me. “Let’s get you caught up.” Forty-five minutes later, I was still lost. “If we show her, she might get it. Let’s go to the Medical Bay.”
Frowning, I tagged along behind them.
When we walked in, Dr. Savelli drew a scanner faster than Kaoti could draw a blade. “How may I be of service?” he asked as he descended upon me.
“We need to conduct an experiment for class,” Binder said.
At least an hour later, I understood why salt was an ionic compound and that I hated chemistry. When the boys went over to look at Dr. Savelli’s pet slug from Talpa, he asked me, “Are you alright? I’m here if you want to talk.”
“I’m upset about what happened on Parvac, but I don’t want to talk about it. However, you can help me with the headache this assignment gave me and promise to do all of my chemistry for me from now on.”
Dr. Savelli smiled and placed a tiny pain patch on my forehead. “I can’t make that promise. It’s important that you pass or fail them on your own. Commanding officers need to know your strengths and weaknesses, so they can assign tasks appropriately.”
“Oh, I didn’t think of that.”
Leaning in closer, he said, “So, don’t sweet talk those young males into doing your assignments for you.”
“Oh, I won’t. They wouldn’t do something like that anyway.”
“They wouldn’t?”
“No, they know why this is important. I’m not doing it for me. I don’t even want to be an Inquisitor, but I want to graduate.”
“Then why?”
“Well, for the females who do want it. Anyway, I still get to keep my rank, and if I graduate, then I can prove to myself that I’m not stupid.”
“You aren’t stupid.”
I shrugged at him. Time would tell. Unfortunately, when I took my chemistry test, even with all of the tutoring, I failed it by six points.
“Don’t feel bad. Just fail with as high of a score as you can. You’ll do better in another subject,” Ross said.
That subject was not math. It had progressed to the point where I was beyond frustrated. Even worse, I got a demerit when Inquisitor Rovek caught me trading the promise of sexual favors with Fitz for each math problem he solved for me.
One night, Nico rolled closer to me in bed and nudged my hip, eager for affection. Suddenly, my heart sped up, and pain sliced through my chest, making it difficult to breath. Nico swooped me up and darted from our room. “Phillip!” he bellowed.
A disheveled Phillip appeared. He moved my hand from my chest and scanned me. Then, he dropped the scanner and simply held and patted me. “It’s okay, Cupcake,” he said gently while I wheezed for air. “What happened prior to this manifestation?”
We had woken up everyone on the Imperial deck. Nico told him. “Is it her heart?” he asked.
“No, it’s a panic attack. She’ll be okay.” He held me until I could breathe again.
Over the next few days, I was ashamed and my husbands were, too. I couldn’t enjoy intimacy with my husbands, even Zared who tried to calm me through our bonds. Phillip and Dr. Savelli only advised us to be patient. I felt like a failure. I couldn’t do math, chemistry, or my husbands. Flavian was controlling me through fear, and it angered me.
“Fitz, may I speak to you privately?”
“Of course,” he said as he followed me into his quarters.
I sat on the end of his bed, and he sat beside me holding my hand. “I don’t know what to do about this or how to get over it.”
“There is no rush. Take all of the time you need to heal. I will always love you, our intimacy has nothing to do with that, but it makes things a lot more fun.” Fitz stroked my hair, gently twisting it together and then letting it fall down my back.
“Could I try tying you up? Maybe, if you weren’t able to move….”
Fitz didn’t give me time to finish my sentence. He stripped and handed me some restraints. With a grin, he jumped on the bed and laid back. “I’m yours to do with as you will.”
After I had Fitz bound so that he couldn’t move, I slowly undressed and crawled to him on the bed. My lips met his, and I kissed him with all of the love and tenderness I felt for him. “I love you, Fitz Jiri.”
“I love you, Teagan.” His words and eyes were full of conviction and truth.
I held him and nuzzled his neck, rubbing my hand over his chest that was now nice and hairy. My hand roamed farther down and froze as fear washed over me. With Flavian, I had been terrified that he would force that part of himself into me, as he had done with his fingers. My bravado with him had been fake. My hand began to shake uncontrollably. I felt no passion, only fear. Trying again, I couldn’t do it, nor could I roll pleasure through my husband. Quickly, I slid from the bed before freeing Fitz’s wrist.
“Teagan, it’s alright. Please, don’t cry.”
“It’s not alright. This is just you and me. We always have fun together. I’m not afraid of you. You’ve never hurt me, and you never will. I just can’t make this irrational fear go away. Should I ask Zared to hide it from me?”
“No, we have spoken of that amongst ourselves.” Fitz released his other wrist and his ankles. Evidence of his passion had vanished with the onset of my terror. He pulled on his pants. “This is something you need to work out. If you don’t, it might resurface and be more difficult.” He pulled the blankets back and patted the bed. “Let me hold you for a while.”
Needing what he offered, I got in bed. Fitz covered me up and laid down beside me. With my head on his chest and his arms around me, we took a nap.
The next morning, I went to the gym to spend some alone time with the treadmill. Ross, Binder, Izaac, and Cedrenus were already there sparring. The four of them were fighting rough and grinning like berserkers while they did it. I could hear Binder’s punches and blushed. He had been babying me each time we had entered the ring at the Academy. They all had, except Clark. Eli appeared next to me and started jogging. He wore exercise clothes rather than his uniform.
“Any updates?”
“No. That, in and of itself, is cause for grave concern.”
“Why?”
“The only Inquisitors I hear from are those with like minds. From the others, there is only silence. It is the same with the others.”
“What does that even mean?”
“There is a code amongst us. We are not like the other branches. We deal in secrets, justice, and death. At present, we are divided in two with no grey in between.”
“What are the Inquisitors fighting over?”
“That, I do not yet know with any certainty. It is not our way to discuss and compromise, but to study and strike.”
“Is Papa safe?”
Eli turned to me. “Yes, this has nothing to do with him. Of that, I am certain.”
“Is it because of me?”
“You need to keep your wits about you. Whatever this is you are going through, you need to grow stronger because of it and move on. Fear is weakness. Control is power.”
“He took my control.”
“Only in your mind.”
“No, he had me trapped beneath him. He….”
“I know what he did. I was questioning him before the explosion. He admitted assaulting you and enjoying it.”
I looked away from Eli and at my treadmill’s display. The tip of my nose tingled, and my eyes began to fill.
Eli said, “He also admitted to other things, how you felt to him, the softness of your skin, the smell of you. It was as though you had become an addiction.”
“I don’t want to hear that. It’s sick.”
“Only in your current mindset.”
Hurt, I glared at Eli.
He said, “You are the one with the true power. He wants you. You can thwart whatever plans he has and control him with his own lust. Don’t let him break you. The battle is only ended when you concede defeat.”
Calmer, I asked, “Did Zared share with you what Flavian said to Clark and his team?”
“He did. Flavian’s secrets mean more to him than the life of his only child, the last of his line.” For a few moments, our footsteps and the sparring in the center of the gym were the only sounds. “Why did you spy on Clark?”
“We got into a fight. He was vehement in his dislike of me. Then, suddenly, he acted like he was afraid of me, his entire team did. I thought one of you had threatened him. I wanted to know if it was you, Drex, Zared, or Kaoti who had done it.”
Eli shook his head. “Drex, Cormac, and I would never involve ourselves in your Academy affairs, no matter how much we love you. It would be dishonorable. You must earn your place among them on your own, or it means nothing. I want you to know, there is nothing to be ashamed of if you fail out. What matters is that you do your best.”
“Have Clark and his team been questioned?”
“No.”
“Why? Clark knows something. I’m sure of it! Why else would his father threaten him?” I felt my cheeks heating with anger.
“They haven’t been questioned because Clark and his team went missing a few hours before Flavian took you. We suspect they were the ones responsible for the detonations that freed Flavian, Maxim, and Soval. Consequently, Soval’s remains were found in a transport in front of a market on Parvac.” The sounds of sparring had stopped. Izaac and his new friends had been listening. Eli stopped jogging and turned to them. “Be vigilant. To assume that you can trust anyone would be a dire mistake. You may be cadets, but should the need arise, and her life be in danger, you know what you must do.”