Tia

My chest squeezes when I walk into Giles’ room and see him sitting up, his eyes open, and a smile tugging at his lips when his gaze lands on me. Not sure if I’ve ever seen a better sight. But it doesn’t stop the guilt from creeping back up my spine. I wanted to be here when he woke up.

“Hey,” he says, reaching a hand for me, his green gaze full of emotion.

God, I love this man.  

“How long have you been awake?” I step into the room and take his hand, sitting on the edge of the bed beside him. “I told the guys to get me if you woke up.”

“You needed your sleep.” His voice is raspy. “And I’m not going anywhere.”

I frown at that and swallow hard. “But you almost did.”

“I know.” He lets out a long, deep sigh. “I’m sorry.”

Leaning towards him, I kiss him softly, tears burning my eyes.  

He’s all right, I remind myself. But still, the fear lingers. What would I have done if I’d lost him?

He drags his knuckles across my cheek and butterflies dance in my stomach.

“Have you had anything to eat?” I ask, knowing I don’t deserve the tenderness he so easily gives.

“Emerson brought me some soup. I think that’s all I can handle right now.”

He places his palm on my cheek. “Banks said you were pretty amazing. That if it wasn’t for your quick actions and knowledge, I wouldn’t have made it.”

I know he’s fishing, wanting answers.

“Banks is the one you should thank.”

“I have.” His lips twist into a frown and worry lines wrinkle his forehead. “The men aren’t going to be patient much longer. You’re going to need to start answering questions.”

“I know.”

“And soon,” Salinger says abruptly, coming into the bedroom. “Like right fucking now.”

“Sal,” Giles warns.

“There’s a car on its way here, ready to take you into custody,” Salinger’s dark gaze bores into me. “It’s not a fucking joke, Tia. I don’t know what they have, but it’s enough to bring you in for questioning. If the Alaskan government starts digging and they find out you lied on your application, you’ll be deported. Immediately. And that’s if they can’t pin that mercenary’s death on you.”

Giles’ breathing quickens and so does my heart rate.

We all knew this was a possibility. But so much time has passed since the incident, I’d started to think that I’d caught a lucky break. I should have known that luck was never on my side.

But this is my mess. Straightening my spine and gritting my teeth, I look between my two husbands, and I know what I need to do.

“You’re better off not knowing anything,” I say. “That way you can claim deniability.”

Salinger narrows his eyes at me. “You’re going to give yourself up?”

It’s not what I want, but who gets what they want anymore? No woman I’ve ever known. And I need to be grateful for the time I’ve spent here in this compound. Even with all the heartache and strain in the house, this time here has been better than a lifetime with Lawson, the man to whom I was betrothed and within the clutches of my father.

It’s more than I deserve after what I’ve put my husbands through. “No,” Giles growls, shifting on the bed like he wants to physically restrain me. He lets out a frustrated sigh and I see the color drain from his face from the sudden movement. But he has enough strength to bark out another, “No fucking way, Tia.”

I place my hand on his and hold his gaze. “Do you see any other way?”

His jaw clenches and he gives a sharp shake of his head. “Anything but that.”

“Tell me who you are,” Salinger demands, taking another step into the room. Hands in the pockets of his slacks, his expression is pulled and strained. “Tell us the truth, and I’ll do everything in my power, even beg my fucking father, to make sure nothing happens to you.”

I know this is my only chance. But I’ve been holding onto this secret for so long, it’s hard to just blurt it out. Plus, my mind wars with what the right thing to do is. Keep my men protected or let them finally try to protect me. Try, being the keyword.

I swallow and glance down at Giles and my joined hands.

“Tia, please,” Giles begs. “Let us help you.”

One.

Two.

Three.

Each second beats wildly in my ear.

“Hypatia Curie isn’t my real name,” I finally admit.

“No shit,” Huxley says, coming into the room, arms crossed, blue eyes cold. I deserve the distrust I see there.

“My father is a powerful man.” I chew on the inside of my lip and meet Salinger’s dark gaze. “If he ever finds out that I’m here, there’ll be no stopping him from bringing me back. And hurting anyone who gets in his way.”

“We have laws here. Laws that protect you.” Salinger’s tone is hard.

“You and I both know they are not foolproof. There will always be men who will break the law.” I glance at Huxley. “For personal gain.”

Huxley grunts and the corners of his eyes crinkle as he glares at me.

“Then I guess you’re going to have to decide what the worse threat is.” Salinger’s jaw twitches. “The Alaskan government, on its way to interrogate you and all of us, or your father.”

“Which one are you more afraid of?” I shoot back, knowing the fear of our fathers is one thing we have in common.

Salinger doesn’t respond, just keeps his gaze locked on me.

“I’m not trying to be deceptive,” I say, wishing he could understand that. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“I believe you,” Salinger says. “But by trying to protect us, you’re just putting us more at risk.”

Huxley grumbles an agreement, and even Giles nods.

I’m starting to think they’re right.

“Why the hell is there a government car coming up our driveway?” Fallon yells, startling me as he storms into the room.

“They’re here already?” Salinger says, face a mask of composure, but I see the sliver of alarm that slices through his blue eyes. “Where are the others?”

“Banks and Emerson are downstairs,” Huxley says grimly. I look around the room and see faces taut with tension. Silent pleas for me to say more. For me to back down. For me to give them what they want.

But they don’t understand. My father is not merely a man. There are parts of him I admire, but other parts that leave me trembling in fear. My eyes well up with tears at the memory. So many women at Saint Augustine’s came for refuge and left in a casket. My father’s doing. I hadn’t wanted to believe the rumors. Hadn’t wanted to believe that the man I loved could really be the monster that people whispered about in shadowed corners.

He was a genius. A man that demanded respect. Who filled a room the moment he walked in. A man with a single purpose: to find a cure for the population crisis. But it was his mission that pushed him over the edge.

I don’t know everything that went on in his laboratories, but I know that there was some truth to the rumors. Even I wasn’t exempt from my father’s research. Even married to Lawson, I would have still been subjected to his experiments. I saw the contract. Knew what they both had planned.  

It was enough for me to want to run for my life.

A cold shiver races down my spine, and my fingers go ice cold like all the blood has rushed from my body.

There is no way this will end well.

My husbands watch me, waiting. And my heart beats hard as I fight for the right words. But I’m lost. I’m no longer the strong woman who ran to the wilds of Alaska, searching for freedom.

Now I’m on the verge of losing everything I’ve grown to hold dear.

My husbands.

Their love.

A future with them.

“Anything you want to tell us before we face these guys?” Salinger finally says when I don’t speak.

“We don’t have time for this,” Fallon says on an exasperated breath. “We all know our stories. Know what we have to do.”

Salinger’s nostrils flare, but he nods. “Fine.”

They’re angry with me, and I know they have every right to be. But things aren’t as black and white as they all seem to think.

The men leave the room, and I’m left alone with Giles.

The silence stretches between us.

“I promise you, after all this, I’ll tell you everything,” I say with tears in my eyes. “It’s not because I’m trying to hurt you… It’s the opposite. I’m trying to protect you.”

“Tia,” he says, stopping me when I start to leave. “Don’t do anything stupid or rash.”

I laugh, but it’s a high-pitched sound. “When have I been known to do either?”

He chuckles, but like my laugh, there’s no humor in it.

“I love you, Giles,” I say, going back to him and kissing him once more.

“I love you too,” he says with so much conviction my heart aches in my chest.

I walk downstairs solemnly, knowing if the guards ask me to go with them, I will. And I’ll say and do anything to keep my husbands safe.

Anything. Even face the past and the monsters that I ran from.

The men are all in the study when I walk downstairs, their angry voices fighting to be heard over one another.

In the living room, I glance out the front window and see two guards and one man in a suit approaching. I recognize the older man from the lottery, with his familiar face that looks like an older version of Salinger’s.

The Director.

I suck in a steadying breath as I watch them approach.

The man is legally my father-in-law, and if Salinger is on my side, which is slightly doubtful at this point, then maybe he can talk to him, help smooth everything over.

The guards use key cards to get through the gate. And I frown, realizing that men, other than my husbands have access to our house. I wonder if the others know.

At least they knock when they get to the door.

One by one, my husbands come out of the study, faces pulled tight with strain.

Fallon is the one who answers the door. “Director Ward,” he says, allowing Salinger’s father and his guards to come in. “Is everything all right?”

The Director’s dark gaze scans the room, finally landing on me. His expression is hard and scrutinizing like Salinger’s was only moments before. But unlike Salinger, this man doesn’t have the same softer edges that make him approachable.

“Father,” Salinger says, walking towards him.

“I’m sure you’re already aware that we have some questions to ask your wife.”

“I’m sure whatever it is can be dealt with here.” Salinger juts his chin out, voice steady, unwavering.

I see the faintest twitch to Salinger’s jaw, but he holds himself with more control and authority than I’ve ever seen from him.

“I’m afraid that what we need to discuss is a greater matter than can be dealt with here. I can assure you that your...wife,” the Director bites out with nostrils flared, “will be treated fairly in accordance with our laws.”

There’s a threat in his words. I hear it. And I know the others do too because I see the way they shift nervously and give sideways glances.

“Can we speak in private?” Salinger asks.

His father gives him a hard look before nodding.

The two men disappear into the study, shutting the door behind them, while the guards stand rigid, not making eye contact with anyone.

No one speaks. There’s so much tension in the room that it makes it difficult to breathe.

Fallon approaches me and takes my hand. “It’s going to be okay. We’re on your side.”

I choke on my tears, wishing it were true. At my core, I know it’s not that simple.

This world is no longer about whose side you are on.

It’s about the living and the dead.

And I am the one who murdered a man. Not my husbands.

I steady my breath, wipe away my tears. I fled Saint Augustine’s, so I’d no longer be beholden to men who saw me as a commodity, something to barter and trade. I wanted more.

I wanted freedom.

I want that for my husbands, too.

There’s no way in hell I’m going to be the one who takes that away from them. I know my choice comes with risks. My father is powerful enough that he could already have made an agreement with the Director to return me if I’m found. At this point, I’m willing to take the risk, be sent back home, to a life with Lawson if it means keeping these men safe.

After all, it is exactly what they have vowed to do for me.

Lawson murdered my suitor. Even if he was cleared of that crime I know what he did. And I don’t doubt he will do it again, times six.

Clearing my throat, I know what I must do. “I need to speak with the Director.”