Pull

Demetri took everyone’s papers. “I’m not going to read these. They’re private. Between you and what you regret. But if anyone’s willing to share, I think it would be really cool.”

Holly spoke up. “I lost my baby.”

Aaron held her tightly as she began to softly cry. “In high school I got pregnant and I had a miscarriage. It was really hard and… well, it almost destroyed my relationship with Aaron.”

Aaron cleared his throat. “It was a Friday night. I was angry at Holly. She had been drinking and instead of staying with her at the party I ran off.”

I listened intently as Holly continued where Aaron left off. “I was so upset he would abandon me that I slept with one of the football players. I found out I was pregnant at the beginning of football season. I told Aaron and he threatened to kill the father.

But I refused to tell him who it was. It wasn’t his business, and it nearly killed us both.”

The room fell silent. Holly choked back a few more tears. “It felt good. To write that letter. To talk to Aaron about it. I feel better.

Thanks, Demetri.”

Demetri smiled warmly. “Anytime. And don’t worry, the first time Mrs. Murray asked me to do this I cried for days. And if that ever gets leaked out into the press I’ll hunt each and every one of you down.”

Everyone laughed nervously.

“Let’s plan to meet in a few more days. I want all of you to think about regrets this week. Live your life as if each moment is your last. This isn’t about going crazy. It’s about appreciation.”

Suddenly Demetri seemed so much older than I. He had gone through a lot in his life, and it showed in the way he spoke about regret, about living. If there was one thing I was confident about, it was that Demetri knew how to live, and I desperately wanted to follow in his footsteps. But what do you do when the very person’s footsteps you hope to follow in is the exact person you want to carry you?

Chapter Twenty-four

Demetri

“I’m like James Bond minus the British accent,” I announced to Alec on the phone that night.

“Yeah, you’re a regular 007. Tell me, Goldfinger, is the world ever enough?”

“You only live twice, Octopussy.”

“Demetri Daniels, Man with the Golden Gun.”

“I have decided to Die Another Day.”

“I’ve got nothing.” Alec cursed. “Damn, how is it that you beat me at the movie game every single time?”

“I’m sorry, did you not get the whole 007 reference? I’m freaking awesome.”

Alec sighed. “Fine. Tell me what made you like James Bond, and hurry. Nat’s been begging for me to take her to the mall so she can buy you a birthday present.”

“Tell her nothing pink. It makes me look pale.”

“Noted. Now speak, Dr. No, before I hang up on you.”

I nodded in appreciation, even though he couldn’t see me. “I totally forgot about Dr. No, good one. You still lost, but good one.

Anyway…” I moved my guitar and lay across my bed. “I got everyone out of the house without any of the paparazzi seeing them.”

“How’d you do that?”

“Magic.”

Silence. “What, you used your wand?”

“Hilarious. No, my brain. You know all that Cristal our publicist sent over from the record agency and everyone else?”

“Yeah?”

I laughed. “Let’s just say we had a lot of really happy reporters on our front lawn. I passed out all the free shit and they flocked. I gave autographs and the whole time the rest of the gang walked out the back and down the street. Bob drove the cars one by one down the block until they all had their rides and all without any pictures taken.”

“Wow, brilliant Demetri, and without drugs or your wand.

I’m impressed.”

“I live to impress my older brother.”

“And Nat,” Alec interjected. “Don’t forget Nat.”

“Am I on speakerphone?”

“Why can’t I get you pink, Demetri? Remember the pink shirt I got you at —”

“No, I’ve blocked that memory, and it said I sing for Seaside. I almost got punched when I wore that shirt. No pink, Nat. No pastels. Get me a guy gift. It is my nineteenth birthday. I think I deserve it.”

“Fine,” she grumbled. “Alec, you ready?”

“Gotta run, bro. It’s time to go into Nat’s quantum of solace.”

“Huh?” Nat said as Alec and I both burst out laughing.

“Some things are just for our eyes only, Nat,” I said and then hung up. Damn, I missed my brother sometimes.

I looked at my phone. I wanted to call Alyssa so bad. My fingers ran across her number. Should I? Shouldn’t I? Someone punch me and put me out of my misery. For some reason I felt like she needed her space today, after everything that happened; it just seemed like she was distant.

I decided against it. Space. I needed to give her space and stop being such a damn girl. Trying to distract myself, I ran down the stairs and pulled out a soda from the fridge. I flipped the TV on and jumped onto the couch, causing enough air to move that the papers from group fluttered off the coffee table.

Cursing, I bent to grab them and froze when I saw a name.

Brady.

Thinking it was Alyssa’s I picked it up.

It wasn’t Alyssa’s.

Oh God, I thought I was going to be sick. It couldn’t be Alyssa’s; there was no way it was. Part of me wished it was hers. I needed to look away. I needed to throw the paper away and pretend like I didn’t see it, but I did. I saw everything.