Tiffany…

“He scares the shit out of me,” I confessed in a whisper and Nik glanced over my shoulder at Reaver who was striding through the door of the gym. He stopped by Mali and they bumped fists.

“Ah, yeah, he’s half-cracked, that one, but you don’t have anything to worry about. I promise you that. He keeps his crazy pretty well contained when it comes to it.”

“Good to know I’m not crazy,” I muttered.

“Nah, but I wouldn’t go trying to psychoanalyze him either. He’d pick up on it and probably wouldn’t be too happy.”

“Noted,” I said quickly under my breath as he and Mali came this way.

“Now is when this shit gets fun!” Mali declared and I straightened.

“You don’t like guns,” Reaver said, “So I’m here to show you a thing or two about knives.”

I shuddered inwardly at how his eyes lit up when he said the word ‘knives.’

“Okay,” I said cautiously, and Mali stepped in front of him.

“First we’re going to go through some of the drills we went through last week, though. Then, when Reaver has a grasp on how much you know, he’ll introduce the sharp shiny objects and how to deal with them in the same sort of scenarios. Sound good?”

No. It sounded really fucking overwhelming, actually. What I said out loud, however, was: “Sounds great.”

We went through everything we’d already been through and I was super glad that Nik and I had practiced an hour or so the day before after our sex and a movie date and a couple of days before that after work.

Mali seemed pleased we had too and I can’t tell you how grateful I was when the ‘sharp shiny objects’ that came into play weren’t, in fact, the real thing but rather were rubber variations for practice purposes.

“I think you’re right, Mali,” Reaver said, after the third or fourth go at a particular scenario. “Her dancing is helping her out by, like, a lot.”

“I can’t tell you how much I hate that I’m over here panting and dying while you’re standing there cool as a cucumber and haven’t even broken a sweat,” I said between gasping breaths.

“I’m used to these moves and cardio, cardio, cardio,” he said with a grin.

“I do cardio all night every night five nights a fucking week!” I cried and he laughed. “I’ma punch you,” I muttered flippantly and he laughed harder.

“So much for being a pacifist,” he teased, and I was beginning to like him.

I took a drink of water and shrugged, “I wouldn’t call myself a pacifist,” I said. “Granted I don’t like violence, especially when there are other options, but when you run out of those options and it’s the last resort…”

“You find yourself here, with us, busting your ass to make sure it’s covered,” Mali said and nodded. “Trust me, Sweetheart, I get you. I’m just a little more proactive than reactive, if you catch my drift.”

I nodded, I understood her. She probably would have handed Silas his ass before he ever got the chance to use a broken beer bottle on her face. I was young and dumb, though, and had thought that I could still change him. Trust me, all those stitches and the lesson on how stupid that viewpoint had been had been sewn into my very being with every single one of them.

“I really hope he just fucks off, but I just know it from the bottom of my soul that he’s out there looking for me and to cause trouble.” I scowled. Men like Silas didn’t quit. It hadn’t been in his nature when it came to riding bulls and with something that was so fundamentally a part of someone, well, it was likely something that hadn’t changed.

“Okay, explain that look,” Reaver demanded, scowling. I shifted from foot to foot.

“I still haven’t heard from Delia and she’s not answering her phone.”

“That the best friend?” Reaver asked, but he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking over my shoulder at Nik who was leaned up against the wall. Nik nodded.

“She ever did anything like this?” Mali asked.

“Gone off with a guy for a few days without so much as a text?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Reaver looked me over.

I nodded. “Not totally unusual for her,” I said. She would typically let me know she was off for a couple of days and that would be it. She always showed up to take me to work and I would always bitch her out for making me worry, but this time was different. This time there was like a one-hundred-percent chance there were ulterior motives at play. I said as much.

“Cops won’t listen,” Mali said with derision.

“Which is why we should,” Reaver said. “Pigs are good for nothing and once again, reaction versus pro-action.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is proactive,” Mali said dryly.

“Yeah, that,” he said with a cheesy grin. I laughed, and so did Nik.

“What? Out of all of y’all, I’m just a po’ dumb country boy. Y’all motherfuckers are much more well-read than me.”

“No one’s arguing that, Bro.”

“Yeah, fuck you,” Reaver said, grinning.

“Ah, yeah, nah!”

“I don’t know, Zeb, that sounded a little indecisive if I’ve got my Kiwi translation right,” Mali joked, tone sly.

I shifted slightly and wanted to scream, ‘What about Delia!? Can we get back to that, please?’

Reaver looked me over, “Try your friend now,” he suggested. “Shoot her a text, though. Don’t call.”

I did as he asked, and we all stood around waiting for something ‒ anything ‒ to come through in return, but after a couple of minutes went by with nothing, he frowned.

“Whereabout does she live?” he asked.

“Other side of town, in the Maple Green apartments,” I said.

He frowned, “I don’t know where that is, but at the same time, I probably know where that is.”

“As in been past it like a thousand times, but never really put the name to it?” Mali guessed with a raised eyebrow.

“That would be it, yes. You interpret my crazy so well, young Padawan.”

“Fuck you, who schooled who that one time?”

He rolled his eyes and I met Nik’s gaze as they bickered. He frowned and said, “Guys!” They stopped and looked over at me.

“Look, I may not be happy with Lia right now, but her heart is and always has been in the right place where I’m concerned. She did a lot for me after…” I pursed my lips and rolled them together. “After Silas.”

Mali snorted and said, “Like turned you into a stripper who’s a prostitute on the side?” she asked. It stung but her next words cut even deeper and made me want to stand up for my friend. “With friends like that who needs enemies?”

“Mali,” Reaver scolded, and she had the grace to look embarrassed.

“Look, I get how it looks to someone like you –“

Mali scowled, “Someone like me? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” I said. “Just someone who hasn’t had to make any really hard decisions, I guess it what I meant.”

She laughed a bitter barking sound. “Oh, oh. That’s rich, but fair. Definitely fair, that was a shit thing for me to say.” She swallowed hard and looked me in the eyes. “I’m sorry, but please don’t think I haven’t had to make any tough decisions. I definitely shouldn’t be one to judge or poke holes. I’m sorry for being a dick.”

I wanted to give her the finger, I mean I was mad, but I really needed to keep learning from her, and she was teaching me and teaching me pretty well, and asking nothing in return. Plus, she had just apologized, even if it looked like she’d sucked on a lemon as she’d done it. So, I swallowed my anger for the time being and grated out, “It’s okay, I’m used to it.”

“Ouch, and now I feel like an even bigger asshole,” she declared and sighed, scrubbing her face with her hands.

“If you two were dudes, I’d tell you to beat the shit out of each other and go have a couple of brews already, but when it comes to bitches, I’m at a loss for how you all handle this kind of shit,” Reaver declared.

“Ask your wife,” Mali said darkly. “Because I’m too much of a dude on the inside to have a clue, either.”

“Good idea,” he answered, then added, “And yeah, you are.”

I glanced at Nik who I expected to be laughing but nope, he was looking at me, his eyes clouded with concern. He didn’t look at all happy with Mali.

“Maybe it would help if I explained from the beginning…” I said.

“It’s really none of my business,” Mali said. “Especially after the crack I just made, but yeah, if you want to talk, I’d listen. I at least owe you that.”

I sighed and leaned my butt against the stairs leading up to the boxing ring in the center of the gym.

“I was just a dumb-ass runaway when I met Lia. We worked the concessions stand together at the rodeo and she was just so much more down-to-earth than me, you know? She really took me under her wing and kept me out of trouble. She was taking pole dancing classes and got the idea to strip from another girl, one of the other cowboy’s girlfriends who was bringing in over two grand a week. When she heard the money was that good stripping it was too much to pass up for a girl who had been as broke as her all of her life. We both had grown up poor, and I have to tell you, money may not buy happiness but it definitely does buy security. It’s really nice not having to worry about where you’re going to sleep every night or where your next meal is going to come from. She was all for stripping, had always been a wild child that way and the bolder of the two of us, but back then she was waiting to turn eighteen so she actually could, you know?”

I sighed, “She was my only friend before and after Silas… I stayed working the concession stands and then eventually didn’t even do that because he didn’t want me to, but Lia stuck to her plan. She blazed her own trail and ended up at Sugars. She and I never lost touch, even though I kept traveling with Silas and the rodeo. We, I mean Silas and me, happened to be in town with it on Delia’s birthday weekend. He didn’t want me to go out, but Lia talked me into it, and I wanted to spend my best friend’s birthday with her, you know? Then this happened,” I drew a finger along the curve of my cheek and sighed again, sniffing as tears threatened to spill over. I always got emotional talking about how Lia saved my ass.

“Delia stuck by me, let me stay with her at her place, rent free, I might add. She was at the hospital every day, went to every court date with me, and kept me from letting the depression swallow me whole. She got me into pole dancing with her as a means to stay fit and really just as a way to get me out of the apartment at first, but then she was the one who came up with the whole ‘Francesca’ persona and the mask idea. She’s the one that got me into this life, sure, but more importantly, she’s the one who got me out of my old one and kept me from giving up on life altogether. At the time, she gave me a life back when I thought it was over. I can never repay her for all that she’s done for me. Never in a million years.”

Silence fell over the four of us and Mali finally let out a gusty sigh of her own, “Well, shit,” she said on the tail end of it. “Now I really feel like an asshole. Me and my fucking mouth.”

“Pretty sure we keep warning you about that, just sayin’,” Reaver sort of sang out and she scowled at him.

“Shut the fuck up,” she snapped.

“Case in point,” he said and hung his head.

“Yeah, yeah, tell me something I don’t know.”

“Well –“

She cut him off with, “That was rhetorical, Jackass!”

He laughed and I did too, jumping slightly when Nik pressed himself to my back, hands on my hips.

“I get that you’re worried, but you said yourself this isn’t out of the ordinary, eh?”

“I did say that, and it’s not… I just can’t shake the feeling something bad has happened.”

Reaver shrugged and said, “You got a lot going on with your douchebag-ex getting out of the slammer. You sure it’s not just that.”

I shook my head, “That’s just it. I can’t be sure that it’s not just that. Still, I feel better for having said something and I’ll keep trying tonight.”

“That’s all you can do,” Mali said, and she and Reaver exchanged a significant look.

“You have her actual address?” he asked, scrolling through his phone and I swear my insides went liquid with relief – but I didn’t want to get my hopes up just yet.

“Yes,” I said.

“What is it?” he asked and I told him, holding my breath, waiting for him to confirm what I pretty much already knew he was committing to.

“It’s on my way home; I’ll swing by and check things out and call Zeb with what I find out. You guys will be hanging together after this for a while, right?” he asked, an innocent look that wasn’t fooling anyone plastered to his face. He didn’t lie exceptionally well. Either that, or he didn’t care about keeping up appearances, at least not about Nik and I spending time together beyond the scope of him having my back and looking out for Silas.

“Yes,” I said but it was hesitant; suspicious as to why he would even be fishing. I mean, were Nik and I the subject of gossip? Was Nik getting a hard time about me? I mean, going by Mali’s judgment call about me and Lia, it wasn’t a stretch of the imagination to think that he was. I felt bad about that. I felt bad about so many things and was seriously beginning to wonder if there was anything left to feel good about myself for…

“Excellent,” Reaver said and sighed. “I think we’ve done enough for today. Next week?” he asked Nik.

“Same time, same place, thanks, Bro.”

“No problem, keep working on your form and your speed, you need to be faster. You don’t have the size advantage, but no one should be able to top you for speed. Especially judging by the pictures of this asshole.”

“Pictures?” I echoed, surprised.

“Yep.” Mali popped the ‘p’ a little and winked at me. “It’s what my man does best. Digs up all the dirt. If there’s records or pictures, he’ll find them. Speaking of which, if there was any record of you or your current whereabouts on the net? He wiped it before your ex even got out of prison. If he’s looking, he’s hitting nothing but big roadblocks full of a whole lot of nothing on you.”

“Really?” I asked. “How did I not know about this?”

“Ah, I guess I forgot to mention it,” Nik said.

Mali rolled her eyes and lifted her jacket off the corner of the ring. “Way to go, Romeo. Probably could have saved her a little anxiety, don’t ‘cha think?”

Nik colored and I blinked. It took a lot for a man with his dusky skin tone, not unlike Mali’s, to visibly blush even though he wasn’t especially dark.

“I’ll call you,” Reaver said, buried in his phone and heading for the door.

“Thanks, Bro!” Nik called after him.

“Later, you two,” Mali said walking backward at first, before turning and following Reaver out.

I turned to Nik and felt my shoulders drop. He pulled me into his arms and wrapped them around me, holding me tight, chin on one of my shoulders before pressing his lips to the top of it.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“For what?”

“Getting me wiped off the internet, I guess? She’s right. That takes a load off.”

“Ah, yeah, I can’t take credit for that. That’s all Data, and, I’m betting, Dragon.”

I closed my eyes and nodded. “I don’t know if I should feel guilty, I mean, I haven’t exactly thanked him lately.”

“Haven’t seen him, have you?”

“No. No, he hasn’t been into the club,” I said, meaning Sugars. “Not since I went to see him, but that isn’t exactly unusual.”

“You could text him, eh.”

I shook my head. “Never did get his number. Our, ah, arrangement, wasn’t like that. That’s why I went to the motorcycle club in person in the first place. I didn’t know how else to get a hold of him without waiting for him to come into Sugars.” Which could have been any time, and at the time, I didn’t think it could wait… I still didn’t. I couldn’t tell Nik or Reaver, or any of the MC just how grateful I was for their help and if Delia was okay, it was seriously worth any price they wanted me to pay down the line.

“Talk to me,” he said softly, and I sighed and held him tighter.

“A lot of judging going on,” I said.

“Eh, yeah, Mali was out of line. I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be, and I didn’t just mean Mali just now. Delia has had some pretty harsh judgments about you all. Honestly, I was afraid if any of you knew, none of you would be as willing to help me or her.”

He leaned back and cocked his head and said, “What she thinks doesn’t have a lot to do with you. What you think is what’s important, isn’t it?”

“True, and what I think is that you all are far kinder than anyone gives you credit for and at this point, I will gladly pay any price for the kindness you all have shown me.”

He smiled a little and shook his head, “If it comes at a price, it isn’t kindness, now is it?”

“No, I suppose not,” I murmured.

“Is that what she thinks? That you’re going to somehow owe us for what we’re doing?”

I nodded and sighed, “I know, it sounds awful –“

“It does,” he said, cutting me off.

“But?”

“But I’m not surprised. Citizens oftentimes think the worst of us and typically we wear it like the badge of honor that it is.” He sighed and went on, saying, “We came by our reputation honestly; we aren’t nice men, once someone gives us a reason not to be. That’s just it, though. You have to give us a reason not to be.”

“Like what?”

He smiled and said, “Not even worth talking about, Girl. You’re not the kind of person that would ever give us that kind of a reason.”

“I hope not,” I said softly and he bowed his head, pressing his lips to mine. I kissed him back, a little thrill of fear trickling down my spine. The cold calculation in his eyes during the short conversation told me that I really never wanted to give any of these guys a reason to be upset with me, but that was a scary prospect when you didn’t know what it would take to upset them.

“Come on, a hot bath awaits,” he whispered and I nodded carefully.

“That sounds good.”

“Good, after that, I’ll cook.”

I had to smile then. “That sounds even better.”

He laughed and we gathered our things so that he could lock up and we could go upstairs.