Chapter 20
It was remarkable how one decision, one series of events in quick succession, could entirely change one’s life. Harry found herself wondering if she and her mother had taken a different route home from the card party and not needed rescue from a highwayman, would she have pursued Rob alone? Repeatedly? She doubted it.
Unquestionably, she would still be attending balls and fetes as a debutante collecting posies and calling cards from potential suitors. Of course, she had not been interested in a single one of them. No, she had to be intrigued by the one who apparently had no wish to marry her, claimed he wasn’t a good person, and did not want children.
It had never really occurred to her to question the having offspring. For many reasons. Being the second child in a large and affectionate family, she was accustomed to the closeness such a thing brought. She adored her brother and sisters, the way they teased each other, caused trouble, and ultimately supported each other.
She couldn’t imagine not having siblings.
Frankly, she had always imagined herself surrounded by children. She adored babies, as there had been several of them as she’d grown up.
There was nothing so wonderful as a baby’s first smile, its face learning to make cheeky expressions as it discovered the world. It seemed she was not to know that. Which she could barely fathom.
No children.
Could Rob truly mean that?
Surely not.
But his emphatic tone had been unshakable in the coach and it explained why he had been so determined that he was not the man for her.
His wishes were different than hers. Yet, she’d never felt as drawn to another man as she was to him.
It was far too cruel.
“My dear, are you ready?”
It seemed only moments ago that her mother had peered in on her on the night of her first court ball. Now, she was to be married in a chapel in Town. And then, she and her husband were going to be riding off to his estate to avoid some of the scandal that had already begun to blossom within the ton.
After a few weeks in the country during the summer, which was most unusual for a duke, they would return and give a triumphant ball.
Or at least, that was the plan that their mothers had laid out upon learning of the state of things.
She would never quite forget her mother and brother’s faces when she had returned home from the opera.
Her brother had looked as if he was about to suffer apoplexy and stormed out of the house.
Her mother on the other hand. . . had looked at her, smiled gently and, much to her shock, had whispered, “I always knew it would be Rob.”
Those fateful words had shaken her. She clung to them now.
“I suppose I am ready,” she replied at last, turning away from her looking glass.
“They are all downstairs,” her mother said, an assuring smile on her beautiful face.
“How does he look?” Harry queried, her stomach in knots.
“Your future husband?” her mother asked.
She nodded.
Her mother laughed gently then replied, “Like someone has killed his dog.”
“Marvelous,” Harry drawled.
“It’s to be expected, I suppose. Men never particularly like being pushed into marriage.”
“I didn’t push him,” Harry pointed out.
“No,” her mother agreed readily. “His honor and your brother did that. Nonetheless, here we are.”
“Is it too late to turn back?” Harriet asked quietly.
“Turn back?” Her mother stared at her for a long moment. “If that is what you wish, my darling girl, I will take you to the Continent myself and support you with my own funds. We will find you a house in Venice or a cottage in Salzburg and you can live out the rest of your life quietly. But it will be almost impossible for you to come home.”
Tears stung her eyes at her mother’s passionate yet kind words. She did not miss the truth in them. If she were to come home again having not married the man who had ruined her, her family would be rocked by scandal which, of course, her brother and mother would weather. But her sisters. . . her sisters would be forever tainted by her actions.
“Do you like him?” her mother asked pointedly.
“I do. I do like him,” she said truthfully.
“Then that is a beginning.”
“But Mama—” She gulped, hardly daring to speak the truth.
“Yes, my darling?” she asked, patient.
Harry bit her lip then blurted out, “He doesn’t wish to have children.”
Her mother stilled. “He told you this?”
Harry nodded.
“Why did you hide this?” her mother asked, her face quite serious.
“I suppose I kept hoping this would all resolve some other way. . . or that he might visit me and assure me all would be well.”
But he hadn’t. Rob had avoided her steadfastly, having only sent a small, green velvet box with an emerald surrounded by diamonds for her to wear. There hadn’t even been a note.
“He is young yet,” her mother said resolutely. “Give him time. Who knows what he will think in the future. A duke must have an heir, after all.”
But there was the crux of it. She felt certain in her bones that Rob was determined to never, ever have an heir. What had happened that had made him so terrified to have children of his own?
Somehow, she would find out, and then perhaps. . . perhaps, she could change his mind.
But what if she could not?
She would face that when she had to. That was the only thing she could do.
Standing slowly, Harriet smoothed her hands down her ice blue silk gown. “We best not keep them waiting. Harley will have a fit if he thinks I’m not going through with it.”
Her mother smiled sadly. “Your brother has embraced being the head of the family with a touch too much dedication.”
It was true. For all that her brother was a handsome rake who was one of the most fashionable men in London, he held his family to the highest standard and would let nothing hurt them.
It was both his dearest and worst quality.
Her mother took her hand and squeezed it. “You are going to be a wonderful duchess, my dear, and a good wife.”
“Thank you, Mama,” she whispered, confident she could be one of them. . . and certain that Rob might not let her be the other.