Irelyn settled onto a sofa across from Kennedy. She was nervous, which wasn’t the norm, but this woman and her opinion meant so much to her. “I want to apologize for last night.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation or an apology, Irelyn. If I had been in your position, I would have done the same thing. You were trying to save Grey’s life.”

“Nick doesn’t agree with you.”

“You know how men are. He’s just being super protective.”

Yes, Grey was like that on occasion, too. It’s what people who love each other do. The words he’d spoken before she’d walked out had almost stopped her heart. She had almost said things she’d never said before, asked questions she’d never had the courage to ask.

“Nick has every right to be angry on your behalf. Even if you don’t want my apology, I do at least owe you an explanation.”

“I understand why you did what you did last night. But I—” She waved her hand. “Look, if I’m out of line here, just tell me to mind my own business, but you said something when you came to my house that I can’t get out of my head.”

Irelyn didn’t need to ask her what that was. She regretted that moment of vulnerability, but at the same time, she realized that saying the words had been oddly freeing.

“You want to know why I killed Grey’s parents?”

“I want to know why you think you killed them.”

Even now, knowing that Irelyn was a trained assassin, Kennedy didn’t believe she could have done something so vile as to kill Grey’s parents. For a moment, her mind wandered to what it would feel like to be that innocent and trusting. Though Kennedy’s childhood had not been easy, she was fortunate to have had people in her life who actually cared about her well-being.

“Did you ask Grey?”

“Yes. He told me I should ask you. He said it’s your story to tell.”

Of course he wouldn’t have told her. Grey would never reveal their secrets without her agreement.

She blew out a sigh, and her eyes went unfocused as she thought about what had happened to lead up to that fateful day.

“I was four or five years old when Hill Reed purchased me from my mother. I assume she was my mother. Grey and I tried to find her years later, but since I’ve never known my real name, it was a dead end from the start.”

Her smile was twisted as she added, “Reed gave me my name. He said it was raining, and he was in Ireland, so it seemed to fit. The spelling came from a man who created my fake passport years later.”

Realizing she’d gotten sidetracked already, she refocused. “All I knew was that I was warm and safe for the first time in my life. I had a soft place to sleep and food to fill my belly. I don’t remember much about those days, before Reed, other than being cold and hungry. Reed gave me everything, and as he planned, I became totally dependent on him.”

“He was a father figure to you.”

Even now, years later, her stomach cramped when she thought about all the things Reed had been to her.

“Not in the sense that most people have fathers, but yes, that’s true. But everything he did to me and for me had a purpose.”

“Like what?”

“He was an assassin by trade. However, he was also the leader of a group of assassins. He took contracts for them, made assignments, took a cut for himself. In return, he provided training and support. Hill House is, or was, like a large club for assassins only. A few lived there, some only visited to socialize in a safe environment. All of them trained there. Hill Reed was considered one of the best assassin trainers in the business.”

“He trained you to—” Horror flared on her face. “But you were just a baby!”

She smiled coldly. “That didn’t happen until later. At first, all he did was make me believe I couldn’t survive without him. That if he ever left me alone, I would die a horrible, painful death. By the end of that first year, I was wholly dependent upon him. I would have died for him.”

“Was he at least affectionate toward you?”

It had taken her years to not shudder when she thought about Reed’s idea of affection. “If it served his purpose, he could be kind. It wasn’t until later on that he became brutally cruel. First, he won my affection, and then he used it against me.”

“Did you have an education? Any kind of normal childhood?”

“Yes, to the education. No, to the normal childhood. Reed had specific plans for me, so he made sure I was well educated. I had tutors and teachers. A bizarre form of homeschooling I guess you could say.”

“What about friends. Did you have any?”

“No. But it’s not like I realized I was missing anything. Everything that happened seemed normal to me. I didn’t know anything different. At least, not until…”

“Until?”

As clear as if it were yesterday, she remembered that monumental, life-changing moment when she met Grey.

“Did you know that Grey’s parents were in the same kind of business as the Grey Justice Group?”

“No. Grey never talks about them.”

“They were part of an organization called The Justice Seekers. It wasn’t a government-sanctioned group, but they were able to get away with certain things an ordinary citizen might not.”

“Is that how you two met?”

“Yes, but see…I was the villain in the scenario. Grey was my mark.”

“Why?”

“Reed was contracted to assassinate an important government official. I didn’t know the details, only that Grey’s parents somehow thwarted the hit. It not only cost Reed a lot of money, it embarrassed him. His pride was bruised.”

“And he used you to get to them.”

Even though she was naïve in many ways, Kennedy had been around long enough to see where the story was going.

“They were too careful, too prepared, to be caught by Reed in a normal way. So, he decided to use their son instead.”

“You lured Grey? How old were you?”

“I was fifteen, though I lied and said I was seventeen. Grey was seventeen... Actually, he wasn’t Grey then. His name was Liam. His parents were Natalie and Andrew Bishop.” She smiled and added, “You’re the only one I’ve ever told that to.”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“I know that. Anyway, I stalked Grey for several weeks, learned his routines. When I decided I knew what I needed, I went for him.”

“How?”

“I knew the route he would take from his home to his classes. I knew the time. I simply arranged for a flat tire. Even back then, Grey was a knight in shining armor. He stopped to help.

“I guess you might say we had chemistry right off the mark. We started dating. He was…” Her heart lurched a little as she remembered. “He was both a gentleman and a gentle man.”

“What happened?”

“Exactly what Reed and I planned. Grey and I dated for several months. He was a bit private, but I played him brilliantly. When he finally took me to meet his parents, I knew he was already half in love with me.”

“You didn’t…I mean, you wouldn’t…”

“No, I didn’t kill them outright. Reed wanted them for himself. I arranged for the meeting. They walked into a death trap that I set up.”

“How?”

“I charmed them, just as I charmed their son. They believed I was neglected, mistreated. I came up with this elaborate lie that my parents were abusive, didn’t care for me. It was a poor-little-rich-girl scenario, and I played it like I was born for the stage.”

It still hurt to talk about it, but backing away from the truth never solved anything.

“I arranged for them to meet my so-called parents at my so-called home. The Bishops didn’t say anything, but I got the impression they were going to ask if I could live with them. Grey would have been going away to university soon, and…” She swallowed past the giant lump in her throat and covered her awkwardness with a shrug. “They were just that kind…that good.”

“What happened?”

“I realized too late that I couldn’t go through with it. I screamed, tried to warn them. Reed wasn’t having it. He killed them both.”

“And Grey?”

“He was at school. The authorities called him.”

“What happened to you?”

“Reed was furious. I was punished for my betrayal.”

“Punished how?”

“He choked me until I passed out. When I woke, we were back at Hill House, in the training room.”

“What did he do?”

“He beat the bottoms of my feet with several different instruments. I had been punished like that before, but not quite so severely. When he finished, he walked away. He knew I couldn’t walk, so he didn’t worry I would leave.”

Tears shone in Kennedy’s eyes. “How did you get away from him?”

“I waited until everyone went to bed, and then I crawled out of the house.”

“Oh, Irelyn,” Kennedy said softly.

She rarely thought about those horrific hours anymore. The pain had eventually gone away. She had healed. The pain of what she did to Grey and his parents was much less bearable.

“There was a telephone kiosk down the road. I called Grey, and he came to get me.”

“You crawled all that way on your knees?”

“My knees. My ass. I would have crawled my way across England to get away from the bastard.”

“Did Grey know what happened? About Reed? The setup?”

“Not until I told him.”

“You could have lied.”

“No, I couldn’t. I was through lying. I was willing to take whatever punishment Grey wanted to give me. I deserved death. I deserved every hateful, hideous punishment he might want to inflict on me. Instead, Grey gave me a new life.”

“He had to be furious with you.”

“With me. With himself.” She closed her eyes for a moment to refocus. Seeing his grief, knowing she was the cause, had been so much more painful than dealing with his anger.

“It couldn’t have been that simple…that easy.”

She smiled a little. “Nothing about Grey is simple or easy. You know, most people, if they live long enough, are given at least one defining moment in their lives. The moment when they choose a certain path or make a monumental decision that will change them forever. I was given that choice early in life. And I made the wrong one.”

“You were a child.”

“I was old enough to know the difference between right and wrong.”

“But that was the problem. You weren’t taught what was right and what was wrong. You were manipulated, brainwashed.”

“Excuses can only go so far. Believe me, I’ve thought of all of them. Tried to give myself an out. Bottom line, I betrayed two people who did everything in their power to save me. They were the best people I ever knew, and I’m responsible for their deaths.”

“Why did Grey do it?”

“What? Save me?”

“Yes. One would think he would want nothing to do with you.”

“But that’s Grey. I asked him why early, and he said it was what his parents would have expected him to do.”

“Was that the only reason?” There was hesitation in Kennedy’s voice as she continued, “Do you think he kept you close to punish you?”

“That might’ve been in his mind at the time. I don’t know. On occasion, I felt like I was being punished, but that was more my guilt than any overt action from Grey. I think, more than anything, it was his way of dealing with the pain. As long as he focused on what he needed to do, he didn’t have to deal with what happened.”

“Was it rough? Living together, having this between you?”

“For a while, it was hell for both of us. He was never cruel. Angry and hurt, but never mean. We would go days without speaking.”

“Then why didn’t he just leave you? Or why didn’t you leave him?”

“Because, for Grey, it was the right thing to do. And I left him plenty of times.”

“You did? Why?”

“At first, because I hated myself so much. Could barely stand to look at myself, much less him. He would find me and bring me home, or I would come home on my own. I eventually stopped running.”

She swallowed back a lump of emotion. Had she really stopped running? Every time she’d left him, hadn’t she really been running away again?

“What about Hill Reed? Did he not try to come after you?”

“We didn’t see him for a long time. We moved around a lot. When we finally scraped up enough money, we moved to Paris. It wasn’t until we came to Dallas and my name became associated with Grey’s that he contacted me.”

“I imagine both of you wanted to just kill him outright.”

She wished she could say that was true. Even though it had been years since she’d seen Reed, and she hated him for all that he had done to her, there had still been that slightest smattering of affection she hadn’t been able to deny. While her mind recognized him as a monster, her subconscious still had difficulty accepting him as one. That insidious thread that Reed so carefully weaved into her psyche had still existed.

“Grey believed Reed could be used. So instead of killing him, I reestablished a relationship with him.”

“Wasn’t that hard? I mean, he was a hideous person.”

It had been hell. In the middle of that first meeting, she had excused herself, gone to the bathroom, and thrown up violently. A few minutes later, she had returned to their meeting, all smiles.

“I’m a good actress.”

“So Reed never knew that Grey was Liam Bishop?”

“No. He would have had him killed. I made Hill believe I conned my way through Europe before coming to America and attaching myself to the wealthy Grey Justice. It’s what he taught me to do, so he easily accepted it as fact.”

“Was renewing the association worth it?”

“On occasion, he would drop bits of information that were helpful. In turn, I gave him little tidbits. Harmless stuff. I think, more than anything, he liked to think of our association as familial.”

“It’s so strange to be talking about this man,” Kennedy said softly. “He was responsible for Thomas’s death, and many others. Yet, to you, he was someone else, something else.”

“No. He was a hideous monster. Period.”

“Renewing your association must have been hard on Grey, too. Did he ever meet Hill in person?”

They had never even discussed such a prospect. It would have been disastrous. “Never. Grey’s good at hiding his thoughts, but even he has his limits.”

“How long did it take for Grey to forgive you?”

“You’re assuming he has.”

“Yes.” She leaned forward. “Irelyn, you have to know how he feels about you.”

Did she? Yes, she knew he cared. Even when he was at his angriest, that was never in question. And she knew he desired her. From their first meeting, they’d had a connection. They’d just been children, but even then there had been an amazing bond. Beyond a few kisses, they hadn’t acted on those feelings. And then the world had crumpled, and other things, like staying alive and surviving, had taken precedence. It had been years before they made love the first time.

“I know he cares.”

“Cares? Seriously? Irelyn, he’s crazy about you.”

She never had the chance to be a teenager giggling with a girlfriend over boys or crushes. And while she felt a little foolish now, she couldn’t resist asking, “Why do you think so?”

“His eyes follow you. They light up when you talk. I can’t believe you don’t see that.”

Maybe that was because she was too busy doing the same thing. When she was around Grey, everything and everyone often disappeared for her.

“And after you left, he wasn’t the same. He became grim, almost reclusive. You’re so good at reading people, I can’t believe that you don’t see it. He’s in love with you, Irelyn.”

Yes, she was excellent at reading people and usually good at reading Grey. If what Kennedy said was true, why hadn’t he ever told her? Why were things the way they were between them?

“He’s never said the words.”

“Saying the words can be hard for some people. Have you said them to him?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Gut herself open and spill her feelings? She didn’t doubt her courage and strength in other things, but when it came to her heart, she was a weakling.

“I guess I’m one of those people it’s hard for. Besides, it’s a little more complicated than just saying the words.”

“No, it’s really not, but it is scary.”

Scary was a mild word for the panic ratcheting up inside her at the very thought.

“Until this is over, and the threat against Grey is gone, I can’t think about that or the future.”

“And when it’s over?” When Irelyn didn’t immediately answer, Kennedy added, “You gave me some great advice once. It helped save my life. So I’m going to give you some now. Don’t be afraid to open yourself up and let Grey see your love for him. You deserve to be happy, Irelyn. And so does Grey.”