Chapter Eighteen
The next couple weeks were stressful for Charlie. Although the office gossip had cooled considerably, she was still miserable. Jake no longer pursed her, but Charlie couldn’t help feeling something was missing. When he’d dropped Kristy off that first weekend, she’d invited him in for coffee, but he’d declined. The only thing he wanted to talk about was arranging for Kristy’s next visit with him.
It shouldn’t have hurt, but it did. But she only had herself to blame. She couldn’t get that look of pain in his eyes out of her mind. At their last encounter when they’d had a quick fuck on her couch, she’d wanted to call him back, but her fear wouldn’t allow her to.
Charlie picked at her lunch, not really feeling up to eating.
“Okay. Spill it. What’s wrong, Charlie?” Laura demanded. She’d invited Charlie to lunch because they’d both been busy at work lately. This was the first time in a couple weeks when their schedules actually meshed.
“What’s there to tell? I’ve been keeping busy.”
“How’s the grand love affair?”
Charlie groaned inwardly knowing her friend was going to bring the subject up when she had invited her to lunch, but she still wasn’t prepared for it. “Can we not talk about it?”
“I think we do need to talk about it. I hope you don’t take what I say next the wrong way, but you look horrible. You look like you’ve lost weight and you’re wearing a miserable expression on your face. Please tell me what the matter is. Does it have anything to do with the grand love affair?”
Charlie sighed, knowing how Laura could be relentless when she wanted to be. “There is no grand love affair.”
Laura frowned. “What do you mean? I thought you’d decided to have an affair with Jake.”
Charlie shrugged. “When I made him aware of the plan he wasn’t of the same mind.”
“What happened?”
“Jake asked me to marry him and I turned him down. I told him I’d rather have a no-strings-attached affair.”
Laura, who had been in the middle of taking a sip of her soda, spit it out on the table. “What? Did I just hear you correctly?” She grabbed her napkin and blotted the mess she’d made.
“Yes, you heard me correctly.”
“Are you insane? You turned down a marriage proposal from Jake Fox. Wow, you are officially bonkers.”
“Please stop. You’re not making me feel any better.”
“I’m sorry, but I just don’t get it. Jake’s a great guy who’s apparently crazy about you and Kristy. That you could turn him down is beyond me.”
“I think it’s for the best.”
Laura shook her head in obvious disbelief. “How is it for the best when you’re obviously miserable and you’re depriving your child of a full time father?” She took a deep breath. “I’m not trying to judge you but—”
“Well, you’re doing a pretty good job of it,” Charlie snapped, losing her patience. When she’d agreed to have lunch with Laura it wasn’t to be beaten over the head with the foolishness of her rash decision.
“Don’t play the injured party here. I’m your friend, and as your friend it’s my job to tell you when you’re being a butthead. What did Jake say about your grand scheme?”
“He was angry.”
“Justifiably so I would say.”
“He hasn’t said a word to me since, that wasn’t related to Kristy. As a matter of fact, he’s supposed to be picking her up tonight. He’s taking her to the circus. She’s looking forward to it,” Charlie babbled to stop from breaking down.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think you do, Char. You’ve fought so hard to not fall in love with him, but it ended up happening anyway. And now because of your insane decision, you may have lost any opportunity you may have had with him.”
“I don’t love him!” Her voice rose louder than she meant it to, drawing stares from the other diners.
“If you say so.”
“I do, so can we please drop the subject.”
Laura reached across the table and grabbed Charlie’s hand. “I’m not trying to be a pest, but I’m only bringing this up because I care about you.”
“I know you do, Laura, but trust me to know my own feelings. I do appreciate your concern, but can we just let it go?”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
Laura gave her a skeptical look. “I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
So do I, Charlie thought.
Charlie was furious. She knew Jake was upset with her, but he could at least have granted her the courtesy of calling her to tell her he’d be running late. Jake said he would be there before eight to pick Kristy up, but when ten o’clock rolled around there was still no sign of him. Charlie grew angrier with each passing minute.
Kristy was especially upset, crying as Charlie bathed and put her to bed. “Where’s Daddy?” she asked Charlie between sobs.
“I don’t know, honey. Daddy is just running late.”
“Daddy won’t come?” Kristy asked tearfully.
“When you wake up, he should be here.” Charlie kept her fingers crossed on that one. Damn you, Jake. She had been so sure Jake was sincere about spending time with Kristy so where the hell was he?
Eventually, Kristy drifted off to sleep and Charlie tried to phone Jake to see what the deal was. She tried his home phone and his cell phone. She received no answer on both lines. When she saw him again, she was going to give him a piece of her mind. Kristy had cried herself to sleep, and it was all Jake’s fault. You just couldn’t play with a little kid’s affections like this.
By midnight Charlie finally decided to go to bed herself. As she was getting undressed the phone rang. If it were Jake, he was in for it she thought.
“Hello?” She answered the phone aggressively thinking it was Jake.
“Charlie, is that you?” A female voice anxiously asked on the other end. The voice was familiar but Charlie couldn’t quite place who it belonged to.
“Yes, who is this?”
“It’s Moira Fox.” Jake’s mother? Why in the world was she calling at this time of night?
“Hi, Moira. Is everything okay?”
“No. Everything is not okay. Jake’s been in an automobile accident. They’re saying he won’t make it through the night.” Moira began to sob through the phone.
“Oh my God!”
“Will you please come? Bring Kristy with you. Bill and I want close friends and family around before he goes,” Moira said between sobs.
“Of course. What hospital is he in?”
“Fairfax Memorial.”
“I’ll be there in a half an hour.”
“Thank you, Charlie.
Charlie collapsed to the floor after she hung up. She hadn’t even told him she loved him and she was doomed to lose him anyway.
The family was waiting together in the lobby of the critical care unit. Charlie went immediately to Moira’s side and hugged her tightly.
“Charlie, I’m so glad you and Kristy could make it,” Moira said, smiling through the tears glistening in her eyes.
“How did it happen?” Charlie asked.
“He was just leaving our house actually. He stopped by after working late at the office. Jake left our house around seven because he said he was going to go pick Kristy up for the weekend. Apparently midway between our place and yours he was blindsided by a drunk driver. Why do people drink and drive? Now, I’m going to lose my baby.” She broke into noisy, heart-wrenching wails. Bill Fox came over and hugged Moira. His eyes were bloodshot as if he too had been crying.
The entire room was filled with a somber-looking crowd. The entire Fox clan was there, kids included. Steve was there, and a few other people Charlie didn’t know. The family who had been laughing and joking only a week before was now shattered with grief.
“What’s she doing here?” Helen asked, charging toward them, red eyes shooting daggers at Charlie.
“I called her here, Helen, so don’t you dare start anything, missy,” Moira warned.
“Oh, I’ll start something with her alright. After what she did she has a lot of nerve to show her face right now.” Helen advanced on Charlie as if she wanted to hit her. Fortunately, Jason was close by to grab his wife before anything happened.
“I’m sorry, Charlie. She’s a little distraught. Emotions are running high right now,” Jason explained apologetically. He turned to his wife. “Helen, let’s go get some coffee,” Jason suggested. Helen glared at Charlie one last time before allowing her husband to lead her away.
“We’re really sorry about that, Charlie. She didn’t really mean it. We love Helen but sometimes she thinks without speaking,” Bill apologized.
“It’s okay. Can we see Jake?” Charlie asked anxiously.
“The doctor is allowing only one person at a time to see him. We’ve already seen him. Carl is in the room right now. He should be out any minute. You can go next. We’ll keep an eye on Kristy for you,” Bill said.
Charlie took a seat with Kristy in her lap. She cradled her daughter close to her. Silent tears coursed down her face. She hadn’t felt like this since the night Paul died, but only now, the feeling was ten times worse because she was finally able to admit to herself she loved Jake and now it was too late.
If she could turn back time, she would have said yes when Jake proposed. Even if she knew she only had a short time to be with him, he would have at least died knowing how she felt about him.
Carl came out to the lobby. He was wiping a tear from his eyes. “Whoever’s next, can go in,” he said taking a seat next to his wife.
Charlie looked over to Moira and Bill for reassurance. Moira nodded. Charlie took a deep breath and stood up with Kristy in her arms. Kristy looked up with a glazed look in her blue eyes Charlie attributed to sleepiness. “Don’t cry, Mommy. The man said everything would okay,” Kristy whispered.
Charlie looked at her daughter oddly. “What man, Kristy?”
“The man in the blue shirt.”
Charlie looked around. There was no man in the lobby wearing a blue shirt. Obviously Kristy was delirious from lack of sleep. “I hope everything will be okay, honey.” Charlie leaned over to give Kristy a kiss on the cheek. She handed Kristy to her grandpa who directed her to Jake’s room.
Charlie wasn’t prepared for the sight she saw. Jake lay on the bed, broken and bruised. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, and he had bruises and cuts all over his exposed skin. He was connected to several machines and he looked so pale. Charlie walked over to his bedside.
She began to cry softly. Her Jake, her beautiful perfect Jake lay in the hospital bed so helpless. “Jake, if you can hear me, this is Charlie.” Charlie stole a nervous glance at the EKG machine, which was steadily beeping away—for now.
“Jake, I’m so sorry. I’m so very sorry. I lied to you, Jake. I lied about still being in love with my husband. I mean, I’ll always love him but not the way I love you. I love you, Jake. Don’t you die on me!”
She got angry. “Don’t you dare leave me and Kristy. She needs you. I need you.” Jake lay there silently. “Did you hear me, Jake? Wake up! Wake up you son of a bitch and live! Live, because if you don’t, I’ll die too!” Charlie broke into body shaking sobs. How could God be so cruel? Jake didn’t deserve it. “It should be me, God!” Charlie shouted heavenward.
Just then a nurse walked in. “Ma’am, you’re making way too much noise in here. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
“Please. I’ll be quiet,” Charlie begged, not wanting to leave Jake’s side.
Just then Charlie heard a sound she’d only ever heard on television and movies. She turned to the EKG machine in time to see it flatline.