Chapter Seventeen

Every detail from the previous night ran through his head. It’d started out fantastic. He’d had the woman he loved by his side and his family and friends around him. It had ended in fiery disaster. Drew touched the empty pillow next to him. He’d brought it on himself. From the beginning, he’d known enlisting Jack’s aid was wrong. He’d done it anyway, convinced Kelsey would never find out. If not for the party and his brother’s big mouth, maybe she still wouldn’t know. He never should’ve let Mom plan the reception. He and Kelsey could’ve handled it, and he would’ve left Jack off the guest list. He could’ve easily kept the two from ever meeting.

But nope. He’d been confident he had everything under control, and he’d given Mom the green light to invite anyone.

Drew rubbed his hands across his face and tried to wipe away the memory of Kelsey’s expression when he’d slipped and mentioned Ian. He’d managed to keep the promise a secret for almost four years. It should still be a secret. Fear and frustration had caused him to slip last night. Once he’d mentioned Ian, he had to come clean.

She believed he’d married her because of his promise. He couldn’t fault her for reaching the conclusion, considering what he’d said and done. He wished he could. After all, he’d first come up with the idea to marry her so he could take care of Kelsey and keep his promise. When he said the vows in Hawaii, his promise had nothing to do with it. He loved her. It’d taken him years to realize his true feelings for her, and the idea of losing her scared him to death. Somehow, he needed to convince her he hadn’t married her because he felt obligated.

“You’re not going to do it sitting in bed.”

The scent of coffee and bacon met him outside the kitchen. His stomach rumbled. His nutritionist insisted he avoid bacon, but it’d always been one of his favorite breakfast foods. Kelsey knew how much he loved it. Had she made it for him? Maybe it was her way of saying she understood and wanted to work through what happened last night?

“Are you sure?” Kelsey’s voice reached him. “After I finish breakfast, I’ll pack and come over.”

So much for his brief fantasy. Sleep and time apart hadn’t helped the situation.

When he walked in, she looked in his direction but didn’t smile.

“See you soon.” She put the cell phone down and reached for her coffee mug. “Good morning. There’s coffee if you want some.”

She’d probably addressed her customers at Masterson’s in a friendlier tone. He wouldn’t let it bother him. She had every right to be angry.

“Morning.” He always greeted her with a kiss. The ice barrier around her told him to skip it this morning. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine.” She took several sips of coffee before picking up her fork. French toast covered with strawberries and bacon sat in front of her untouched. “There’s no extra French toast, but there is some bacon left.”

Drew took the stool opposite her. “I’m not interested in breakfast, Kels.” He reached across the kitchen island and took her hand. “I’m interested in us. What I asked Jack to do was wrong. I’m sorry. If I could undo it, I would.”

“I’m not sure there is an us.” She yanked her hand out from his. “Cat and Tony are letting me stay with them. After I pack, I’m heading over. The insurance company will still pay for me to rent a place while my house is being rebuilt. I’ll figure out what’s best while I’m gone.”

He’d been sacked by 250-pound linebackers, and it’d hurt less than Kelsey’s announcement. “Don’t move out. If you want, stay in a guest bedroom, but please don’t leave. This is your home as much as mine now.”

“Why? Because you made some stupid promise to Ian? I told you before, Drew, I don’t need another brother. And I don’t need someone to take care of me. Especially not you.”

“I know you can manage fine on your own.” She was making this so difficult. Maybe he deserved it. “I want you here because I love you. I married you because I love you. Please stay so we can work through this.”

Her rigid posture loosened. Had he gotten through to her?

“Drew, I’ve loved you most of my life. More than anything, I want to believe you….”

“Then do.”

Sadness hung over her like a giant cloud. “It’s not that simple. You lied to me about other things. I’m not sure I can believe anything you say anymore. I can’t be around you right now.”

If ever. He heard the unspoken words in her voice. Damn, this was turning out far worse than he’d ever imagined.

She loved him, but couldn’t stay. Not after all she’d learned last night, no matter what he said. Maybe he did love her. Maybe he hadn’t married her to keep a promise, but she’d never figure it out sleeping down the hall from him. Staying with Cat and Tony was only a temporary solution. She couldn’t impose on them indefinitely. Crashing at their house for the next several days would at least give her a chance to reassess her life and what her next move should be. Even if the next move was getting a divorce attorney.

“I’m not hungry anymore. You can have this if you want. I’m going to go pack.” She pushed the untouched breakfast toward him. There was no point in wasting a perfectly good meal. She didn’t stick around to see if he ate it. The sooner she got away from him, the better.

Kelsey didn’t fold anything. She grabbed stacks of clothes from drawers and dropped them in the suitcases. The few things in the closet followed. Within forty minutes, she was backing out of Drew’s driveway and closing the garage door.

A wooden door decoration with the words Happy Spring printed on it along with white daisies hung on Cat’s door. “Happy, my foot,” Kelsey mumbled, ringing the bell. She was a lot of things but certainly not happy. Right now it didn’t feel like she’d ever be happy again. “At least Drew looked miserable too.” She hoped he was because he deserved to be.

Cat opened the door, looking worried. She hugged Kelsey before saying a word. “C’mon in. Tony is out. We have the house to ourselves.”

She liked Tony, but was glad he wasn’t around to see her arriving with her suitcases in tow. “Are you sure he doesn’t mind? What did you tell him?”

“Only that you need a place to stay. You didn’t tell me much on the phone. He said you have the guest bedroom as long as you like.” Cat took one of Kelsey’s suitcases. “Let’s get out the ice cream and wine, so you can fill me in on what the idiot did. We can unpack later.”

“It’s only eleven o’clock.”

“Fine, we’ll make brownies and have them with wine then,” Cat said. “We’ll save the ice cream for tonight and invite Ella over.”

Kelsey laughed. No matter what, she could always depend on Cat and Ella.

While Cat mixed up a batch of white chocolate chip and walnut brownies, Kelsey sipped her wine and shared all the events from the previous night. Ian’s request didn’t surprise Cat. Kelsey hadn’t been surprised either. Ian had teased her and driven her up a wall at times, but he’d always looked out for her. He would’ve wanted to know someone was there to do it when he was gone. Cat, like Kelsey, didn’t fault Drew for promising Ian he’d fulfill the role.

“I can’t believe the jerk went behind your back the way he did.” Cat set the oven timer and refilled their wine glasses. “When a guy believes he knows best, he doesn’t stop and think. Tony included sometimes. You were handling it. He should’ve left it up to you.”

“He did admit he shouldn’t have done it.”

“Did you record it? It could come in handy the next time he makes a stupid mistake.”

It wasn’t lunchtime, but she didn’t care. Kelsey took a sip from her second glass of wine. “There might not be a next time.”

“You’re not serious. I get it, you’re ticked, and I don’t blame you. I would be too. But Drew loves you. Let him stew for a few days and then go home.”

She wished the brownies would cook faster. She could use some comfort food. Kelsey took another sip of wine and went to the freezer. Inside she found three containers of ice cream. Opting for the peanut butter one, she got down a bowl and packed it full.

“Get me a bowl too, but the mint chocolate chip instead,” Cat said.

She filled Cat’s order, afraid to admit her fears regarding Drew and their marriage. Ignoring the fear wouldn’t make it go away though. “Maybe he doesn’t, Cat.”

“Doesn’t love you? He married you. Of course he loves you.”

Kelsey dove into her ice cream before she sat down. “Maybe. Or maybe he married me because of his silly promise. What better way to take care of me than to make me his wife?”

“How much wine have you had? You can’t really believe what you just said.” She wrapped her fingers around Kelsey’s arm, making it difficult to get ice cream to her mouth. “Drew would never marry you because of Ian. Look after you and try to help you, yes, but not marry you. He’d never go that far. Besides, anyone with two eyes and half a brain can see he loves you. He couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night.”

She wanted to believe Cat. When they were together, his feelings and actions seemed genuine. People could act though. Make another individual believe and see things that weren’t really there. Was Drew that good of an actor?

“I’m not sure what I believe.” One of the things Kelsey loved about research was identifying a problem, developing a strategy for attacking it, and then finding a solution. She’d identified her problem, her and Drew’s relationship. Unfortunately, she didn’t have a strategy for finding a solution. “For now, I need to be away from him. Hopefully, I’ll figure it out.”

***

He placed an unopened beer bottle on the headstone, then opened one for himself. It’d been almost four years since Ian’s death, and today was the first time he’d visited the cemetery since the funeral. Sitting on the damp grass, he stared at the words carved into the granite, and took a swig from his bottle.

“Wish you were here, buddy.” The cemetery was empty, and the headstones wouldn’t repeat what he said. “I tried to keep my promise. Really, I did. Instead I screwed things up.”

No matter how much he pleaded, she’d refused to stay. Watching her leave had been one of the hardest things he’d ever done. The only thing remotely close was getting the phone call the night Ian died.

“Kelsey left me. I’m not sure how to fix things. She’s as stubborn as you. No matter what I say, it doesn’t help.”

The cold, lifeless gray slab taunted him, a visual reminder of what his life would be like if Kelsey didn’t forgive him. “She doesn’t believe me, Ian, but I love her.”

Drew sat nursing his beer while he wondered how the hell he was going to fix the disaster he’d created. When a couple approached a nearby headstone with a potted geranium, a flower he detested because it reminded him of cemeteries, he stood, removed the unopened beer from Ian’s headstone, and left. Sitting on the ground wasn’t helping. Instead he’d go home and come up with a new play. One way or another, he’d convince Kelsey he’d married her because he loved her, end of story.