I threw the first bouquet out.

I refused delivery on the next one.

My secretary volunteered to take the next 2.

We've been taking the rest of them to a nearby nursing home and donating them to the residents there.

The man has spent a lot of money on roses this week.

It hasn't gotten him anywhere.

I haven't answered a single text or returned a call.

"Brent's devastated," Kari laughs halfheartedly as I hand her the vase filled with pink and white roses from today's delivery.

"Yeah, well no one's trying to break up their bromance," I sneer as I settle into the booth across from my sister, "as long as Brent doesn't bring the jackass to family Christmas, they can keep seeing each other for all I care."

"You really aren't going to talk to him?"

Brent and Lori love the guy. They haven't exactly been supportive of me ghosting him. Lori keeps begging me to give him another chance-- reminding me about the awesome sex I wish I'd never told her about.

My brother, Brent, just keeps asking me if I've talked to Chris yet and telling me to "at least hear the man out."

That leaves Kari as my shoulder to cry on slash sidekick with a shovel to bury him in the desert. Sisters really are the best.

I shake my head emphatically as I skim over the diner menu as if I had any intention of ordering anything other than my usual.

"I'm really not going to talk to him," I tell her as soon as I've ordered my burger and shake, "and I'm really planning on getting my money back from Raven."

I mumble that last part but not low enough that my sister doesn't hear it.

"You're going to ask Raven for a refund?"

She sounds incredulous.

"It is her policy-- if I'm not happy, if the match doesn't result in marriage, I'm entitled to a refund."

"Why not just have her start over and find someone else?" Kari asks.

Why indeed.

I sigh and recite the little explanation I've been rehearsing for just this occasion. I watch Kari's head bob up and down in absent agreement with me as I tell her that the match making process took over a year and that I'm gun shy on trusting Raven's opinion again.

Kari knows it's all bullshit, but she doesn't call me out. She nods, makes a face, and dives into her food leaving me to eat my own dinner lost in thought.

Thing is-- I liked Christopher. Maybe not at first, our first meeting was rushed and apparently he wasn't the only one who made a bad a first impression.

I thought our second impression went much better. And third and fourth and fifth impressions.

The thought did occur to me to have Raven start on a new match but it didn't feel right. I may have gone into the match making process with an open mind the first time, but now I can't imagine getting matched with someone else.

"Well," Kari says, "at least we won't have to go through another round of interviews, I guess."

I force a laugh, trying to sound light, like this is no big deal. I'll just shrug it off and move on.

My sister knows me better than that, I see it in her face.

"You're all right?" She asks.

Nodding, I plaster a brave smile on my face, "Yeah, it's not like we were even together long enough to fall in love or anything," I scoff. "It just stings to realize that it was all a front so he could get laid before he tossed me back."

I can admit to that. It's the L word part that I won't acknowledge.

"If that's true, though," Kari plays with the edge of her napkin and I can't tell if she's playing Devil's Advocate or actually defending the slimeball, "why is he trying so hard to get you back?"

Her eyes dart to the bouquet he sent today that I just re-gifted to her.

The thought has been plaguing my mind since the flowers started arriving. I shrug, "Who the fuck knows what's going on in a mind like his?" I answer as I push my plate away from me.

Kari shrugs as she slides out of the booth and reaches back for the flowers, "He's spending a ton of money on these," she comments, "that just doesn't seem like a guy that isn't sincere."

"He's got plenty of money," I point out as I follow her outside, "it's not like he's done anything really sincere. Anybody can give the florist their credit card number-- or have Rod do it," I add sarcastically.

"Has Rod called you yet?"

It's a change of direction in the conversation that I'm not prepared for, "Why would Rod call me?"

"Rod and Marina really like you," Kari says as she figures out how to strap the vase into the passenger seat so the roses don't end up all over her floorboards, "it just seems like they'd want to get in touch and maybe try to talk you into talking to Chris. You know-- if he was serious about apologizing."

"Or that Rod would get reined into doing Christopher's dirty work," I say dryly as I hug my sister and hold the driver side door open while she buckles in.

Kari grimaces as she pulls the door closed and turns the key in the ignition. The window between us slides down and she turns to look at me, "But if he's not serious about straightening things out between you, why is he still sending flowers?"

"I don't know," I shrug, "I haven't answered any of his calls. Maybe he just wants to part on good terms so I don't do anything to hurt his precious career."

Kari's head shakes from side to side, "Sis, you know I've never been an outspoken fan of this guy--"

I smile and nod.

"--but he's not all bad and this doesn't seem like the guy I met. Maybe you oughta talk to him? Or to Rod or his sister? Or maybe talk to Raven? It just doesn't feel right to me when you guys were doing so well."

I promise Kari that I'll take her advice as I step back and watch her SUV roll out of the parking lot.

I'm not at all sure I want to hear his side. Or anyone else's side. I'm afraid if I let him explain, I'll fall for whatever excuses he makes when it seems obvious that he's not serious about following through with the plan to get married.

Walking back to my own car, I try not to let myself think about how disappointed I am. I tell myself that it's just that the matching process took so long, it's an inconvenience to be back at square one whether I have Raven find my next match or try it the old fashioned way.

An inconvenient set back is all it is.

This feeling has nothing to do with a broken heart.