Chapter 14

Hestia slowly sat up, not quite comprehending what she’d heard.

Tulay?

Who the hell was Tulay?

A wave of nausea hit and she only just made it to the basin. God, she’d given herself to him and he hadn’t even known who she was. He’d been making love to a woman called Tulay.

She stood rooted to the spot, her feet melding with the wood of the floor. In the dawn’s light she drank in his naked torso, worshipping his form, following the trail of light curls down to where the sheet lay rumpled over his groin.

She’d just had the most magical experience of her life and it had meant nothing to him. No, it had meant worse than nothing. He hadn’t even thought of her at all.

Tears pricked her eyelids. She angrily swiped her hand over her eyes. No, she couldn’t cry; she’d brought this on herself. She’d let herself believe, once again, that there was more to his feelings than there really was. He had never declared any kind of feelings for her; she’d merely let her own love, desire, needs, and wants cloud her judgment.

She stood with her head bowed as the gathering dawn began chasing away the night. Her head dropped to her chest and tears slid down her face, then on down her neck and over her naked breasts. She let them fall. They were her penance, silent reminders of her stupidity.

Thank God he had not woken and seen her in his bed. She would not be able to live down the embarrassment. What would he have thought of her wanton ways?

She hurriedly dressed, not once looking at the bed. Jacob would be here soon to check on His Grace. If Alex had the strength to make love to her he no longer needed a nursemaid, as he’d called her.

Thank God for that. She could never sit in this cabin again without remembering the most beautiful and, unfortunately, the most soul-destroying night of her life.

Wiping the tears off her face, she composed herself as best she could before slipping from his cabin. She met no one as she made her way to the sanctuary of her bunk.

She lay upon the covers and berated herself. Consequences. There were going to be consequences to her actions. She thought she’d learned about consequences from her past mistakes. Her capture by Murad taught her never to put herself in a position of risk again, but it would seem, where Alex was concerned, she’d forgotten her resolve. She wished she’d never come on this trip, and she cursed her father for putting her in this position.

Alex’s brain thumped against the inside of his skull as if an ax-wielding Norseman had taken up residence in his head. He gingerly lifted an eyelid; damn it was bright this morning. He shut his eyes and lay still on the pillow. For some reason the wound in his side was throbbing so much he thought he’d gone ten rounds in the boxing ring.

He knew he’d been restless during the night. He sensed the sheet scrunched up at the end of the bunk, leaving him naked, was testimony to that.

His mouth felt like a rag was stuffed in it. Drink, he needed a drink.

Laudanum. He assumed Hestia had given him more in his wine last night. He didn’t really need it any longer, but the dreams were hard to give up.

Then he remembered his dream.

A slow smile formed on his lips as he reflected on last night’s dream of Hestia. It had been so real, so intense, and so erotic—more so than usual. The dream fed his five senses. He felt her, tasted her, heard her cries of pleasure, and saw every inch of her porcelain skin. He even thought he could smell her still on his sheets; her orange-blossom fragrance seemed to surround him like an early morning fog. If all his dreams were this potent, he’d want to sleep all day and all night.

How could he be upset at her continuing to feed him the opium when his dreams had been so fulfilling? He’d disgraced himself like an eager schoolboy. He couldn’t even bring himself to be embarrassed at Hestia’s likely view of his dream. His body heated just thinking about what her reaction might have been. Would she have been embarrassed, or did it make her body burn with desire?

He’d need the sheets changed and his stitches checked.

Risking a stab of pain from the light, he opened his eyes and rose to his elbows to look down the bed. He’d lost weight, and in a fit of pique he noticed he’d also lost a bit of muscle tone.

As he perused his body a splash of red caught his eye. Had he opened his wound? God, he hoped not. They were behind schedule as it was.

He rolled onto his good side and looked at his bandages. No sign of blood. He unwound the bandages only to see that the stitches were all intact. In fact, the wound had almost completely healed. The stitches were ready to be taken out, so he only lightly rewound the cloth.

It would not be long before he regained his strength. A few gentle exercises starting today. Hestia’s warning not to overdo it reverberated in his head. He would heed her and David’s advice, because he had to be fighting fit to face Murad.

He saw spots of red again. If not his wound, where had the blood come from?

Slowly through a haze of memory a thought began to form, a thought so horrifying he closed his eyes on a curse.

No—it could not be.

A terrible cold crept up his spine like impending doom. The past two weeks, Hestia normally waited for him to wake before leaving. He missed her cheery disposition. Where was she?

His eyes flashed open and his blood sparked in his veins. Christ, it couldn’t have been real, but her perfume and the scent of sex clung to the sheets and to him.

It had been real. It wasn’t a dream. He’d made love to her.

Oh dear God, he’d taken her virginity. It was the blood of her innocence on his sheets. And he had not been particularly gentle as he recalled.

She had been heaven in his arms. He swallowed and stilled. Why had she not stopped him?

Unless…He fought down bile. Unless he had taken her against her will? God, please no. I can’t have hurt her. For one moment, blackness threatened as dizziness hit.

What else was he to think? She wasn’t here, she wasn’t curled up next to him so he could gather her close and make love to her all over again. His desire for her was already growing inside him, tightening his balls and hardening his cock, heating his every nerve ending.

He had to dress and find her. There was only one thing to do of course. Damn her father. He had to marry her now.

He tried to stand before sinking down on the edge of the bed. A new thought hit. If he’d taken her by force, would she want to marry him?

He ran a hand through his hair and cursed under his breath again. It would be best if she did refuse him.

Best for whom, a voice in his head whispered.

What if she was with child? His child. He inwardly laughed. Unlikely. He’d never had a mistake happen in his life and the two years with Tulay had not borne fruit. He assumed the issue lay with him.

The problem he did have—well, one of them—was, it was one thing to ask Foxhall to marry her because Alex needed to keep her safe while he dealt with Murad. It was not honorable to expect his friend to do so knowing Alex had lain with her—if she was with child David would never know whose it was.

Alex could marry her and send her home with Foxhall. Her father would likely kill him if Murad didn’t first, but there was no other way. If Alex died seeking his revenge, Fredrick would have no need to kill her because her wealth came to him upon marriage. Besides, Foxhall would deal with Fredrick.

He needed to bathe and change the sheets before Foxhall arrived. His friend would likely want to beat him to a pulp for taking advantage of Hestia.

He pulled himself to his feet.

Hestia wasn’t a timid girl. He remembered how she’d slapped Murad’s ugly face and more recently fought like crazy to escape from Connor. She was brave. She would have found a way to stop Alex if he took her against her will. Hell, she could have screamed for help.

Heat stole into his face as realization struck. She’d wanted to be in his bed. She’d made no secret of her affections over the years.

Fear crawled along his skin. He didn’t want her to love him. He’d destroyed the last woman he loved and he could very well destroy Hestia too. He could not afford to love anyone. Love might distort his plans—would distort his plan.

After he’d washed in the basin and dried his body, he was just about to pull on his drawers when the cabin door opened.

He quickly drew up the material to cover himself. “Doesn’t anyone bloody knock anymore?”

Jacob merely grunted. “I thought you’d be in bed and Lady Hestia would still be here. She didn’t come to breakfast.”

“She was tired so I sent her off. By the way, I don’t need a nursemaid any longer.”

Jacob looked at him and then the bed. “So it would appear. Best you get rid of those sheets and open more portholes before Foxhall arrives. He’ll likely put you in your grave. I must admit I’m tempted myself.”

With that Jacob turned and left the room.

He threw down the facecloth and with gritted teeth stripped the sheets from his bed and threw them out the nearest porthole, destroying the evidence. He was too exhausted after his wash and sheet stripping to remake the bed, so he simply opened his door and yelled for Ned.

Served him right for having a night of passion when he really wasn’t up to it. He hated to think what Hestia thought of his clumsy lovemaking, but then she’d have nothing to compare it to.

As Ned scurried about his cabin making the bed, he sat at his desk with his head in his hands. He really did not need this right now.

He was about to face the devil himself, and only one of them would come out of the confrontation alive. He would prefer it to be him. So he needed to focus. Nothing else mattered.

When Ned finished Alex said, “Fetch Jacob, lad. I want to know how far we are from Corfu.”

“I can tell you that,” Foxhall said as he entered the room. “Good to see you up and about.”

“I wouldn’t say about, but I am up.” He motioned for Foxhall to take a seat on the newly made bunk. “How long before we reach Corfu?”

“Two days, and before you ask, yes, the sloop is still following.”

Damn. “We must try to lose it within the many smaller islands around Corfu. Fredrick’s men will have no idea where we are going, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“Where are we heading?”

“For a hidden cove just south of Pentati. I have loyal men there who will update us on Murad’s movements and where we might find the earl.”

“And this is where you want me to wait with Hestia.”

That had been his intention. He’d thought to see David wed Hestia before he set sail after Murad and her father. If Murad had got wind of his mission to find the earl, he knew that it was now a race to find Hestia’s father first. Murad would go after Hestia’s father to use him as bait to capture Alex.

Another reason why Hestia would stay at Pentati. With people loyal to him, and no one who knew they had any connection to him, she would be well guarded, by both Foxhall and others.

However, he had to confess all before letting Foxhall marry her.

“We have to lose the sloop before we reach Pentati. I won’t risk revealing my hideaway.” He knew what David would say next, and he dreaded the answer he had to give.

“I’m not sure Hestia will be ready to listen to your other plan by then. When do you propose to tell her that she should marry me?”

Alex cleared his throat. “I have changed my mind. I think it best if Hestia marries me. Even if something should happen to me, she’ll have the safety of my name and title. As a duchess she has more power and therefore more protection. My brothers would see to that.”

David sat looking at him, and Alex noticed his eyes narrow and his nostrils flare in anger. “So I’m not good enough all of a sudden.”

He sighed. “That is not the case and you know it.”

David rose to his feet and began pacing. “Then why this change of heart? You told me you had no intention of marrying her and you let me—”

“Let you what?” Then realization dawned. “You’ve developed feelings for Lady Hestia.”

David turned to glare at him with hands on hips. “Have you?”

Cornered. What did he reveal? Not exactly, but I slept with her. That did not seem to be a prudent answer.

“I have always had a fondness for Lady Hestia.” That was true.

“But her father does not want her married to you. I do know that.”

He tried to keep his temper in check. It had been his idea to pair David with Hestia, and it appeared he had done his job too well. “He has not had a chance to learn I have conquered my demons.”

David’s face flushed with color. “I wonder if you actually have. Hestia told me she found more laudanum on your ablution stand. I had not put it there, as I didn’t think you needed it. So where did it come from? A private stock perhaps? Can you tell me you no longer use opium in any form?”

Anger slipped its shackles and Alex’s voice rose. “Careful you do not overstep the bounds of our friendship, Foxhall. My use, or lack of use, is none of your business.”

“I shall make it my business if I think it will hurt Lady Hestia. Or if it is not her father’s wishes.”

“You go too far, God damn it,” he shouted. If he were not as weak as a spring lamb he’d thump him for such a comment.

Some of the anger seemed to leave David as he smugly suggested, “Why don’t we ask the lady her thoughts on the subject? Let her choose?”

A wave of fear splashed in his stomach. That is what he was afraid of. Whom would she choose?

A part of him hoped she would pick David because then he’d be able to go after Murad with a clear conscience, but he would have to tell his friend what he had done. After last night, Alex was sure she’d pick him. Hoped Hestia would pick him.

“Fine. When we get to Corfu we will ask her for a decision.” That should leave him enough time to ascertain just what happened last night and to find out how Hestia felt about it.

David nodded and turned to leave. “If you see Hestia, could you ask her to come and see me?”

“She’s sleeping. She’ll be at supper tonight. Do you think you can eat with us at the table?”

Alex forced himself to stand up, tall and straight, ignoring the pull on his stitches. “Yes. Before you go, can you take out my stitches? The scab is well healed.”

David twirled his finger indicating he should lose the bandage. Alex gritted his teeth as his friend roughly prodded the wound.

“These can wait until Corfu too. A few more days will ensure the scab doesn’t split open should you do anything too physical.”

He’d already done something physical and they’d held nicely. So nicely that a thought that he’d like to make love to Hestia again flashed through his head. He needed to talk with her, and it was going to be a long day waiting for her to wake up.

“Fine. Can you ask Jacob to find some time this afternoon to see me, and send Ned back in? I need a bath.”

David merely nodded and left, closing the door with a bang. Alex shook his head and sighed. What a mess. He should have known Hestia would appeal to a man like David. His friend was as kindhearted as she. He needed money, and he was handsome enough to understand he could sway any woman. David had never been so inclined until now.

He could not fault the man’s taste. Alex had all but told David to make Hestia fall in love with him. Had David managed to sway Hestia?

Her willingness to fall into Alex’s bed said otherwise. That filled his chest with relief and it shouldn’t. Revenge consumed him, and he could not afford to look forward to a future. He had to be prepared to die and leave this world. If killing Murad meant his death, so be it. He would have his revenge in this life, not the next. It was not fair to Hestia to leave her a widow with a broken heart.

He wished he could remember more about last night. He glanced at the clock on the desk at the far end of his cabin. He wasn’t a patient man, and supper this evening seemed a long way off.