Chapter Nineteen
“Good morning, Gregory.” Avery smiled at her boss as he stopped by her desk. “Can I get you anything before your meetings?” He had two that morning, one in thirty minutes.
“No, thank you.” His smile was tired and went with the bags under his eyes. His suit jacket was undone, and a small orange stain was visible on his white shirt when he lifted his arm to scratch his jaw.
“Are you sure?” She stood, smile sympathetic. “Let me grab you a coffee.”
His eyes lit up with his widening smile. “Thank you. I’d appreciate that.” He’d never been one to make her fetch things nor had he ever treated her like she was beneath him, which was why she wanted to help him. Getting a coffee was easy.
“You might want to wipe that off.” She pointed to the stain in another attempt to help. She winced when he looked down and sighed. “Rough morning?”
He tugged the material out and glared at the offending dab of food. “You could say that.” He dropped his hand, blew out a breath. “Madison got sick yesterday, and Adam decided to catch it just when his sister got better. And then Tam had an early meeting today and—” He cut himself off with a tight clamp of his lips. “Wow. Sorry. None of that is your worry.” He forced a smile. “How was your weekend? Did you enjoy the party? Tam was disappointed that you left before she got to say hello.”
Avery tracked his quick topic change with a startled laugh. Gregory only rambled when he was tired, and it’d been a while since he’d gone on quite this badly. She’d been a little stunned the first time it’d happened after his twins were born. Now, it made him human.
“I hope Adam feels better soon,” she said with complete honesty. His kids were firmly sectioned in the too-adorable category. “And I had a nice time at the event.” She willed her blush to stay down, but a secret smile slipped out. She’d had a very, very nice time both at the event, and after and the next day.
Gregory arched an inquisitive brow, and she rushed on. “I’m sorry I missed Tam too.” His wife had become a friend over the last year. Thankfully, she was a logical spouse who chose to work with Avery regarding Gregory’s schedule and job responsibilities. “Can I do anything to help? Send over supplies for the twins or a bottle of wine for you and Tam?”
His laugh held a relaxed note that Avery took as a good sign. “Just the coffee, if you don’t mind.” He turned to his office before adding, “And those IT cost reports. Please.” The last was tagged on with a tired smile.
She could almost hear his wife admonishing him for ordering instead of asking. Tam was a petite woman who smiled sweetly and clobbered anyone who made the mistake of disrespecting her or any woman. “They’re sent and waiting for you in your inbox,” she reassured him.
“You’re a godsend.”
“Remember that at my next review.” She shot him a teasing wink and laughed. “Go.” She shooed him into his office. “I’ll bring you that coffee.”
Her steps were light, smile genuine as she made her way to the break room. She’d spent almost the entire day with Carson yesterday and she refused to dwell on what that meant. A good deal of the morning had been consumed in bed after their rooftop adventure. But he’d eventually ordered takeout, which they’d eaten while watching a movie. It’d been close to dinnertime before he’d driven her home.
It really had been a perfect day, and she wasn’t going to spoil it with questions and doubts.
Even if she had no idea how she was supposed to act if she saw Carson today. She assumed they’d be back to formal association and she’d prepared herself for that. This was work, and he was still her superior.
That was all he was here.
Multiple voices flowed from Gregory’s office when she returned. Her stomach tightened when she recognized the distinctive timbre of Carson’s voice. Her hand clenched around the paper cup, her steps slowing.
She pressed her palm to her abdomen, inhaled, exhaled. I can do this.
Her smile was in place when she tapped on the door. Four sets of eyes immediately turned to her as she entered the room. “Your coffee,” she said, focusing on Gregory when she set the cup on his desk.
“Thank you, Avery.” His smile held an honest note that was confirmed when he immediately swiped up the cup and took a drink. His eyes closed, a sigh escaping. “You’re the best.”
“You’re welcome.” She glanced at Trevor, who stood at the window, before turning to the two men seated in the chairs before Gregory’s desk. “Can I get any of you something to drink?”
She swept her gaze between Carson and the other man, her pulse fluttering despite her efforts to remain neutral. It froze, though. Everything froze—her thoughts, breath, even her heart for a beat or two—when she identified the man sitting beside Carson.
He was from the Boardroom.
He smiled at her, his expression neutral. Did he recognize her? Because she sure as hell remembered him.
Her focus darted to Carson, whose scowl skirted between the stranger and her.
“I’m good,” Trevor said, raising his silver travel mug. “Thank you.”
She jerked her attention to him, smile tight. Her pulse thundered in her ears with the pounding flow of her blood. That dreaded heat rose up her chest and neck in a telling wave she hated. Why had she been cursed with pale skin that showed every speck of her embarrassment?
“Me, too,” the other guy said. Dark hair, navy tie and suit on. It didn’t help that she could picture him without a tie, shirt removed. He had chest hair, a wicked smile and eyes that’d burned with heat when he’d watched her come.
This isn’t happening. Not here. Now.
She refocused on Carson when he remained silent, if only to rip her thoughts from her free fall of doom. His brows were drawn lower, his scowl harder. What was left of her smile fell before she could check her reaction. Was that aimed at her?
Annoyance raced in to admonish her thoughts. It didn’t matter. Not in this environment. She’d done nothing wrong.
Trevor cleared his throat, and the other guy nudged Carson with his knee. Carson jerked his gaze to Trevor, scowl deepening. “What?”
Gregory’s laughter rolled free before he covered it with a cough. “Sorry,” he mumbled when Carson leveled that scowl on him.
“I think that’s a ‘no,’” Trevor said. He gave her an apologetic smile. “It’s Monday. We’ll blame his attitude on that.”
“No problem.” Her response was void of emotion, and she didn’t wait to hear more. She escaped with her dignity in place even if that bubble of happiness had burst. She closed the door behind her, a sigh of relief and frustration gusting out beside the fear.
Had she really expected something different from Carson? No. She dropped into her chair as the lie eased in to mock her. She had hoped even when she’d insisted she hadn’t. Even when she’d known it was foolish. Especially when he’d voiced his claim to her and she’d dared to believe him.
And that other man. What about him? Would he say something? Had Carson brought him here on purpose? To test her or maybe simply to provoke her?
Or to remind her that it was just sex?
She blew out a long breath, eyes closing for a brief moment of meditation. The guy looked like a businessman. He was in Gregory’s office—with Trevor too. He was most likely here for a meeting. Plus he’d be bound by the NDA. He couldn’t say anything to the other men. To her, privately, he probably could.
A new wave of heat spread across her chest as it contracted with the hit of shame. No. She shook her head, resolve taking hold. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Embarrassed maybe, sure. But she would not be shamed for being a part of the same sexual encounter that he’d been in.
And she was probably making more out of this entire incident than it deserved.
She didn’t have time to focus on Carson or whatever they had—if they had anything—going on. And she couldn’t think about the intimate details the other man knew about her. Not here.
But why had she never considered that aspect before? That she could someday run into another participant? Forced naïvety? Purposeful blindness?
A simple desire to expand her sexual desires with an incredibly handsome, charming, strong, kind, funny, thoughtful man?
Her shoulders sagged and she sat back. The truth had a way of stripping the lies from her anger. Yes, she wanted more with Carson, but that didn’t mean it was true or would ever happen. And she’d gone into this arrangement knowing that.
Every reminder did little to ease the ache in her heart and the disappointment that chiseled away at the shabby barrier she’d erected around her dreams. The odds of Carson being her happily-ever-after were about a million to one.
Even if she wished differently.
And that was enough of her wallowing.
She jerked her chair forward and typed in her computer password with hard, jamming strokes. Work. This was her job. Carson was just a man. She had her pride and she wasn’t letting go of it. Her job performance had never slacked because of a man, and it wouldn’t now.
She punched in her access code to the finance system and zeroed in on the numbers. Those at least were logical. They all had a place and told a story when properly organized. They made sense and seldom lied. She could trust them and right now, they’d distract her.
Carson didn’t belong in her thoughts when she was in the office. And he didn’t belong in her dreams either, even if he had snuck into those.