Chapter Eighteen
Maura paced back and forth inside the tiny cabin she and Aidan called home. Home. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the word.
Tommy's words haunted her all the way home. Why would he say such a thing to her unless he and Aidan had been talking? And who was this Beth Chaplin? Was it true? Did Aidan love this woman? The thought made her sick to her stomach.
"Maura." Aidan called from the front door. "Are you here?"
She considered remaining silent, thinking he might go away. But that was silly. He would just come back tonight.
She might as well hear him out, in case she needed to pack to go home. Home. It used to be very clear where her home was. Now, she was torn between the home of her parents and the home she was coming to love.
Tears stung her eyes.
"Maura?" Aidan poked his head inside the bedroom door. "Ah, there you are."
She turned away to hide her tears. She needed to put on a brave front. The last thing she wanted was for Aidan to see how much his words had hurt her. She didn't want him to see she had fallen hopelessly in love with him. It would give him too much power over her, and she needed to be in control in case she had to break ranks first.
"Maura. Please don't turn away from me. I hate that I hurt you. My mom says I need to think more before I speak. I'm apologizing for my poor choice of words. Can we talk about this? Please?"
She heard his pleas. He seemed sincere. She wanted so much to believe in him—
Maura sat on the edge of the bed, her back to him. "Say what you came here to say, Aidan. Get it all out so we can be done with this charade."
He sat down beside her on the bed, his weight pressing the mattress down. Her heart hiccupped against her ribs at his closeness. She could feel his heat. Damn it. She wanted to reach out and pull him to her, but she still had her pride.
He was quiet, and she worried he was losing his nerve to be honest with her. She knew to hear his words of rejection would be painful, but she needed the truth, whatever heartache that would bring.
Maura turned to face him, hoping to give him the opportunity to tell her goodbye and get this over with. But she was shocked when she turned to find tears in his eyes. What did she make of this?
"Maura, I'm truly sorry I hurt you. I didn't mean to imply you would steal when I asked about the money. It's just that every penny counts, and if there was money, we could use it to make a payment to the bank or buy another draft horse. I swear to you, I didn't mean to imply—anything."
Maura's heart stumbled. “You mean you weren’t meaning to imply that ne'er-do-wells like us Jacksons could be trusted to protect community property?”
“No, I didn’t mean that at all. I swear I didn’t.”
Could it be she had totally misunderstood his comment? Maybe. It was possible she misconstrued his meaning. In fact, it was probable. Tommy's words were still ringing in her ears—making her think he and Aidan had been discussing how to dissolve their marriage. But Tommy's taunting words were drowned out by her conversation with Nola on the way to town today. If you think there's something wrong, ask him.
"Aidan, do you want to be married to me?" There, it was out there. She watched him struggle with his answer. Well, that about summed it up then. Tommy had been right. Aidan was looking for a way out.
"Maura, I—don’t know how to answer that question."
She let him off the hook.
"Don't worry about it, Aidan. I have my answer." She rose and headed for the door, hoping to make it outside and out of sight before her tears gave her away. She had fallen in love with her handsome husband, but it was obvious he wanted to be free.
She didn't even make it halfway across the room. Strong fingers wrapped around her arm, pulling her against his hard chest.
"Please, Aidan. Let me go." She tried to control the emotion in her voice, but it was obvious she was devastated. Damn it. Why couldn't he just let her go with some shred of pride left?
"I can't—let you go." He pulled her around and wrapped her against his warmth, his muscled arms holding her tight against his chest.
Her emotions could no longer be contained. She sobbed against his shirt. Why was this happening? "Why are you doing this to me, Aidan? Why do you insist on making this so—humiliating for both of us?"
Maura hid her face from him. It was all out there. He had to know why she was so upset. He had to know she was in love with him so why was he being so cruel?
She pushed against him again, trying to put distance between them. Instead, he hugged her closer.
"Please listen to me. Just a minute. And if you can't agree to what I have to say, then I'll let you go. Agreed?"
Maura's brain was a little slow in processing his words. Agree with what he had to say? She stood still locked in his arms for a bit longer than necessary, but she wanted to commit his feel to memory in case it was all she had.
"Maura?" he asked again.
She nodded. "I'll listen." He guided her to sit back down on the bed next to him, but he didn't release her. It was as if he feared she wouldn't give him time to explain. But on the contrary, she wanted to give him all the time he needed to be crystal clear where he stood on the subject of their marriage.
Aidan looked into the red, tear-swollen face of his wife. She had turned out to be so much more than he had ever imagined. His thoughts drifted to Beth but only for a second. He realized how special this woman was becoming to him. And that fact surprised the hell out of him.
He had grown up thinking the Jacksons were evil people. Not to be trusted. Like Tommy said. Rattlesnakes. But he was surprised by all of them. Mary Jo was a very sweet woman. Harvey was a hard-workin' man, even though he was abrupt and a little rough around the edges. Aidan could admit he didn’t fully trust the man. After all, he had a reputation he had built over a lifetime. But, he was trying to give the man the benefit of any doubts he might have.
And then there was Maura. Beautiful. Hard-working. Intelligent. She was a wife any man could be proud of.
His mom was very proud of Maura, too. Hell, it was obvious both his parents had grown fond of her. That thought made him feel ashamed when his mom had called him greedy. But what else could she think when she witnessed his behavior with her own eyes? In his defense, it hadn't been his intention to be greedy. Not his intention at all.
"Aidan, you are stalling. Either say what you have to say or let me go."
"Right. I'm sorry. I was thinking what an ass I've been." He grinned, thinking she would smile at his joke. She didn't.
"Okay, so humor is inappropriate at the moment."
"Oh, was that supposed to be a joke? I’m sorry, I thought you were admitting the truth finally."
He nodded his head in agreement. "I guess I had that coming." He grinned at Maura, hoping to ease the tension. It worked. He wouldn't say she grinned back. More of a one sided grimace, but it was a start.
"Maura, I have no excuse for my behavior. I don't. And if you decide you've had enough of my boneheaded antics, then say the word, and I'll stand aside and let you leave."
He watched her face, hoping to see something to let him know what she was thinking. She wasn't going to let him off the hook.
"I didn't mean what I said. That comment came from years of believing that you Jacksons couldn’t be trusted. You can't tell me you didn't grow up thinking the same thing about us Langleys. Especially since your Great-uncle George accused my dad of poisoning his stud. You've got to know my dad would never intentionally hurt a horse, no matter who it belonged to. You’ve seen how much he loves his horses.”
Aidan watched Maura relax a bit. He felt sure enough she wouldn't run to take his hands from her arms. He gave her a second to decide to run or stay. She stayed.
"You might be right about us Jacksons thinking the worst about you Langleys. But I know your dad is a good person. He wouldn't do anything like Great-uncle George said he did.”
“I wasn't around at that time. And neither were you. All we have is hearsay. So, I have a suggestion."
She watched his face as if she were looking for something. Signs of deception perhaps? Well, she wasn't going to see any today. Not this time.
"I'm listening." she prompted.
"I won't hurt you, you know. At least not intentionally." His tone was tender. She didn’t say anything, so he continued. "You are different than I thought you would be."
"You mean because I don't have fangs and two heads."
"Na, you still have fangs and two heads. But you seem more human somehow."
"Human? That is an odd choice of word.”
"Yeah, I suppose. But, you have to understand that as a kid, I used to think of you Jacksons as monsters who lived under the stairs. You only came out in the dark when you wanted to eat little children.”
"I see. Well, then I see our nightmares as children were the same. Except my monster under the stairs went by the name of Langley."
They both laughed at their similarities when all this time they thought the other so different.
Aidan was the first to speak. "I say let's start all over and make up our own minds about each other." he offered.
"How do we do that? We can't go back in time—"
"No, but we can wipe the slate clean. Start from scratch and leave all those rumors and innuendos behind in the past. Where they belong."
Aidan watched Maura's expression. The girl should play poker because she was good at keeping her emotions in check and not giving her hand away.
Late afternoon had given way to dusk while Aidan and Maura talked. They sat in the waning light until they had said everything that needed to be said. Now, there was only one question left to answer.
"Maura? Will you give me another chance to show you I'm not the person you think I am, and maybe think about the possibility that we might make a good team? You and I."
He reached out to pull her close to him. She resisted. For about half a second. He felt her surrender, and he pulled her into his lap.
"Does this mean—?" his heart thumped in anticipation of her answer.
"Don't read too much into it, Aidan. You've got a lot of groveling to do before I will trust you enough to forgive your behavior."
He grinned in relief. "I promise, you won't be sorry."
Maura sat still on his lap. Not moving away. But not moving toward him either. It looked like it was going to be up to him to get this new Chapter in their lives started. He leaned in, and she didn't move away. That's a good sign he thought to himself.
In a bold move, he took a chance and pulled her into his embrace. She didn’t resist. And then he kissed her.
She was reluctant at first, but then he felt her surrender. Relief flooded through his body. Suddenly, he realized how much he wanted this woman in his arms, in his bed, and in his life. He deepened the kiss, and she responded.
Hours later, they lay wrapped in each other’s arms. The summer night sounds coming in through the open window.
“Maura?”
“Ummmmmm.” Her voice was languid from their night of lovemaking.
“We haven’t really talked about the fact that you were—um—not” He stumbled over his words. This wasn’t the way he wanted to open this subject.
“Aidan? Are you trying to ask me about the reason I’m—I wasn’t—it wasn’t my first time?”
“I was wondering, I suppose.” He was more than wondering. He needed to know.
“Aidan…” She turned to him in the darkness. He could just make out the outline of her face in the glow of the rising moon.
He suddenly felt unsure. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. What if she was still in love with the guy?
“It was such a long time ago. So long ago, I barely remember his face. We were seventeen, the both of us. And we fancied ourselves in love.”
Aidan pulled Maura to him wrapping her against his body, surrounding her with his arms. He smiled against her hair.
“Seventeen, huh? I’ll bet you were somethin’ at that age.” He kissed Maura on her temple.
“Yeah, I guess I was.”
“Go on. Tell me about him.” He drew circles on Maura’s arm with his fingers. He loved the feel of her skin.
“He went to the boy’s school across town from the boarding school where I attended. The two schools always came together at the end of the school year for a dance. Joey asked me, and I was more than happy to go with him. We had seen each other over the last year during school events. I thought he was cute.”
“Oh, did you now.” Aidan teased and tugged on one of her curls hanging across his chest.
“Ow, you did that on purpose.” She slapped at his arm.
“Yes, I did. Now, tell me about this Joey who stole your heart at seventeen.”
“We went to the dance. He was a very good dancer.”
Aidan’s heart skipped a beat at the thought of Maura with another guy, even a kid of seventeen. He couldn’t stop himself from asking. “What else was he good at?”
“Aidan, we were two seventeen year old kids trying to find their way into grown up love. I was kind of left on my own during those years. Papa didn’t seem to want me home. And it was easier on Momma if I stayed away. Joey was a nice kid. But that’s what he was. That’s what we both were—kids.”
“Is that the only—”
“Yes, Aidan. He’s the only one—until you.”
Aidan hadn’t realized how much the knowledge he wasn’t Maura’s first had bothered him. But, now he knew they were just kids, and there was no one else. A sudden thought catapulted through his brain. There was no other guy. No recent guy. Which means, if Maura does find herself with child, it will be his.
Elated at the realization, he couldn’t wait to set Tommy straight. He never really thought Maura would stoop to something to low, but he had let his friend’s words sway him when he should have put his faith in his wife.
Emotions threatened to overwhelm him. Sometime during the last six weeks, he had fallen in love with his pretty little wife with the Ireland green eyes. He wanted her in his bed and in his world. He pulled her against him and kissed her. She melted into him. He wanted more.