Chapter 6

Madison

“So, are you going to dinner with him or not?” Lorna asked after I finished telling her the content of my conversation with Alex Killarny from the night before. She was clearly very invested in that particular bit of information.

“Yes, I agreed to have dinner with him.”

Lorna clapped her hands together, almost resembling a seal. “Eee! I am so excited for you.”

“Lorna…it’s dinner. It’s not like it’s a date. I would not have agreed to a date. You know that.”

She tilted her head and gave me a funny look. “It’s dinner at his house. That he is preparing for you with his own two hands…his two very strong, nimble hands.”

I stopped the filing I was doing and looked at her incredulously.

“You know, I really should fire you.”

Lorna smiled sweetly. “Oh please. You know you’ll never find help as good as me in this town.”

I also knew that my best friend could see right through me and had some idea about what Alex still meant to me, even though all that time had passed. It was a weird thing to come to terms with, but I was starting to realize in the few days that I had been back in town that you don’t just throw away something that meant that much, even if it was a long time ago. We could be friends, and that would be fine. If he didn’t like that arrangement, then he could be on his way. It was no skin off my back.

“I think you could maybe give the guy a chance. He isn’t bad, you know. And even with all that stuff with your dad, honestly, it’s not like Alex could do anything about it at the time. He was as young as you were and had no control over his father.”

She was right, of course. The same thoughts had been going through my mind since Alex, and I spoke at the ranch, but I hated to give them credence. As much as I knew it was correct, I wanted so badly to have someone to blame this on, and Sean Killarny was out of reach, so Alex had seen the brunt of my anger and aggravation.

I shook it all off. “Like I said, it’s dinner and nothing more. I can do my best to be friendly with the guy, and I think it would be good to have another friend around here. There seem to be so few of them left.”

Lorna nodded. “A lot of people got out of town, but you’ve got friends left around here. You just have to go looking for them. It’s not like people are going to go wandering into the office just for a visit, not unless their cat is sick or something.”

“I guess you’re right about that.”

I could see the wheels turning in Lorna’s head as she thought up something. “Why don’t you head down to Claire’s and pick up lunch for us? That place is always full of people, and you’ll get a chance to see some folks you probably haven’t seen in years. Claire will be happy to see you, and you might just catch some good gossip while you’re there.” She looked at the clock. “It’s almost twelve. Go on and head over there. You can order me the chicken salad.”

Lorna didn’t give me much room to argue and the thought of getting out of the office for a few moments was appealing. I grabbed my purse and headed down the street to the diner, a place where I had spent many hours studying in the afternoons when I was a kid. It was the sort of local place where people crowded to get the lunch special every day, and you were bound to run into a half dozen people you knew—and that was on a slow day.

I pushed open the door and stepped instead, a feeling of nostalgia sweeping over me as I saw the same old red and dingy white linoleum flooring. It was clean because Claire would have it no other way, but the years had taken a toll on the place. I walked up to the counter and stood in line, waiting to place my order, when I saw Lillie Wheeler and Barbara Whitley sitting in a booth enjoying their lunch. They waved to me, and after I had placed my order with a high school aged girl at the counter, I went over to greet them. The two women had been good friends of my mother, and I hadn’t seen them in ages.

“Gracious me, Madison. I heard you were back in town but hadn’t had a chance to welcome you back yet,” Barbara said with a smile. “How’s the practice treating you?”

“Good,” I nodded with a smile. “It’s been keeping me busy. Lots of horses and cattle to attend to around here.”

“Oh, you’ll have your fill of that. What about small animals? My granddaughter has a chinchilla,” Lillie said. “Do you look at the small ones, too?”

I chuckled. “Well, they aren’t my particular line of expertise, but if you have any concerns, I’d be happy to look at the little thing.”

Barbara leaned forward conspiratorially. “Not that I am trying to stir something up, Madison, but let me get right to the point. How are things with that Killarny boy you dated? I heard that he was hanging around your place yesterday evening. Something going on there? You two always were the cutest couple. And I think he’s single. I think they all are, except for the oldest. Wouldn’t be a bad family to marry into.”

Barbara and Lillie knew nothing of what had transpired between my father and Sean Killarny and there was no way I’d let that bit of information make it into the gossip pool. They were sweet and caring women and wanted nothing but for me to be happy. However, they had no idea about anything between Alex and me.

I shook my head. “Alex and I are old pals. We were just catching up. It’s been years since we’ve seen or spoken to each other.”

Lillie winked at me. “It’s good to catch up with old friends. But don’t close your mind to any possibilities there. He’s a good catch, I think.”

Thankfully, someone called my name from the counter, and I said my farewells as I went to fetch the brown bag that contained my lunch. I waved to the two ladies and then headed back out and down the street to my office.

There had been no gossip to catch, other than the fact that people still thought that Alex and I could be a thing, something I was bound and determined to prove false.

Hours later, after spending far too much time trying to decide what to wear, I arrived at Killarny Estate, and my SUV ambled down the road to Alex’s house. I had stopped to ask for directions to the place as the property was massive and I had never been to Alex’s house. The place had been built after I was gone and I was surprised to find myself very anxious and curious to see what kind of place he had built for himself.

It did not disappoint. As I rounded a bend in the road and drove down into a low place that was surrounded by tall, ancient pecan trees, I saw the beautiful little farmhouse peeking out of the timber.

It was white, and the porch was wide, wrapping around the front side of the house. It was the most picture perfect little thing I had ever seen, from the porch swing up to the gabled roof on the second story. It was exactly the sort of thing I would have drawn up as my dream house.

I pulled to a stop in front of the house and hopped out carrying a bottle of wine. It struck me at the last minute that I should be hospitable and bring something. The bakery was already closed by the time I headed out, so I grabbed a bottle of red that had been gathering dust for a while. It was a good vintage, and I hoped Alex would have some appreciation for it, although I remembered him preferring brown liquor for the most part.

He greeted me at the porch, opening the screen door, a sly little grin on his face. The one I had come to know very well over the years.

“Welcome to my home,” he said as he held the door open for me to enter.

“Thank you,” I said as I took a look around. It was pretty sparsely decorated, but nice for a place that a bachelor called home. “You’ve got a nice place here.”

“It took some work to get it exactly the way I wanted it, but I was pretty happy with the finished product.”

“Did you design it yourself?” I had a flicker of a memory of a conversation we had when we were kids, about the kind of house we wanted to live in when we got married.

He nodded. “We’ve all got houses on the property, and when it came time for me to have one built, I brought in a guy and drew up the plans with him. Got exactly what I wanted.”

“Well, you had a lovely vision, and it seems to have come to life.”

I watched him as he moved toward the kitchen and I followed him into the room where steam was rising from a pot.

“Now, you don’t try to do anything. I’m cooking for you. Just have a seat there at the bar. I’ve already got some wine chilled. Pour yourself a glass, and you can just watch.”

And watch I did. As I sipped the cold wine, I watched him stirring and adding things, but my attention was more focused on his body and the way he moved than anything he was doing. His body was broader now than it had been when he was in high school and playing baseball. Back then he had been muscular but trim. Now, I would guess thanks to all the work around the ranch; he was a bigger man. I could see he had a strong back and shoulders and I wondered how it would feel to wrap my arms around him, pressing my palms into the muscles of his back. I shivered as I let my gaze travel down the length of his back to his firm buttocks.

He turned and caught me staring, and I took a sip of wine, trying to act as normal and unaffected as possible.

“Ready to eat?”

Dinner was lovely, and he had gone to a lot of trouble to make it perfect. Apparently, over the years, he had really worked up a love and a talent for cooking, something I could appreciate now more than I would have as a teenager when we were dating. But something was still tickling the back of my mind. I didn’t know why he had asked me here. Of course, he had said it was a thank you, and I wanted to take it for what it was—a kind gesture for an old friend. But were we only that?

I sat my fork aside and folded my hands under my chin.

“What’s this all about, Alex?”

He shrugged nonchalantly, plainly trying to play it off like him putting together an really nice meal, picking out a good bottle of wine, and serving it all up for me in his home was some kind of regular occurrence. Of course, I had been out of his life for so long that maybe it was normal for him. I had no way of knowing without polling all the women he had slept with in the past ten years, and I honestly didn’t have the time for that.

“What do you mean? I wanted to serve you a nice dinner, that’s all. It’s thanks for your advice about the filly. I know that having a young one like that is a risk and I appreciate that you are so willing to help us out and be there when we need you.”

I picked up my wine glass and took a sip. “Well, you pay me. It’s my job. I’m not doing it as some kind of favor. You will be getting a bill.”

Alex laughed at that, and it was good to hear. Something I had missed.

He nodded. “Fine, fine. Bill me, I’m expecting it. You’re great at what you do, and you deserve to be told that.”

I looked at him cautiously, not quite sure of what I wanted to say next, but I felt like after the conversation I had stumbled into in Claire’s diner earlier in the day I needed to confront the situation head on instead of waiting for it to boil over into something bigger.

“So this isn’t about trying to get back together with me? Because you know that’s not on the table.” I didn’t want to seem presumptuous. Maybe Alex was just kind to me, but as Lorna had said—everything about this smelled like a date, and I needed to know for certain the kind of expectations Alex had if he had any at all.

“It isn’t?” He said with a raised brow.

I shook my head. “It definitely isn’t. Things between us now are business and friendship as far as I’m concerned. I’m not interested in anything else.”

I wondered if he could see right through the lie I was spinning. At one time he had known me very well and could have determined when I was fibbing, especially about something like that. My raised pulse and the flush I felt growing across my neck was going to be a sure giveaway, and I silently cursed that it wasn’t December and thus unseasonable for a turtleneck to hide the feelings that were starting to grow inside of me.

“You know, I think you're not honest with yourself.”

“What on earth would make you say that? You don’t know me. We haven’t been in each other’s presence for a decade now, and I’ve changed, Alex. I’ve changed a lot. Don’t presume to know me.”

He reached across the table and put his hand on mine.

“Tell me you haven’t thought about us getting back together since you’ve been in town. Tell me the truth about that and if you haven’t, fine then. That’s that. But I think you have thought about us together. What it would be like if we started seeing each other again. Because I think you know there is something between us that draws us together and it’s impossible for either of us to resist it.”

My hand felt hot under his, but I didn’t move it. He was right of course, and he had seen right through the facade I was trying to maintain. Maybe it was only physical. It had been several months since I had been with anyone and my last relationship, while brief, had ended over a year ago. There was no one else in my life right now, and I definitely wasn’t getting the kind of physical release that I wanted on a regular basis.

“I’ve thought about us.”

Alex grinned. “Tell me what you’ve thought.”

I looked down at the table and then back up at him again. “Not about us being in a relationship. You know that can’t happen. It would be too much. Too much for my father to handle and there’s no way I’m going to put any additional stress on him. But I’ve thought about it. There’s no way around it when I run into people who used to know us when we were together. I was in the diner today, and there were women talking about us. You know, the grandmother type. How cute we are and how nice it was to see that I was back in town and that you could really use someone to help you settle down. That it just makes so much sense for us to get back together again after all this time.”

He chuckled. “And what would be so bad about that?”

I tried to pull my hand away then, and his grasp tightened. It wasn’t squeezing, but he was holding onto me firmly, letting me know that he had no intention of letting me go. My body temperature was rising, and I wanted some fresh air.

“I’ve told you why. So it’s off the table, and that’s not even what I’ve been thinking about.”

The words were out before I realized how they sounded and what they revealed.

“What have you been thinking about then?”

I pursed my lips and thought for a moment. I was a grown woman, a little different from the girl Alex had known. I had needs and desires, and I knew how to ask for what I wanted. There were limits I could put on things. If I wanted to be in some kind of friends with benefits situation, then I could have that. The idea of having it with him seemed a little precarious, given our history. But the point was that I was old enough to know what I wanted out of life, and I wasn’t making any excuses about my sexuality. If I wanted to have sex with a man and call it a day, then I could. And if it was Alex Killarny I slept with…well then. We knew a little about each other and had some experience together. I was playing with fire if I thought I could get into bed with the first man I’d ever slept with and not have some feelings bubble to the surface, but maybe I could deal with those and let them float away with the passing breeze.

“I’ve been thinking about fucking you.”

He smirked. “Funny enough, I’ve been thinking about the same thing.”

Alex’s finger was tracing a circle on the top of my hand and the flesh there was so awake and alive, like he was kindling a fire and it was starting right there, just waiting for the spark to catch and the tinder to go up in flames.

“Let’s face it, Maddy. There is something here between us. You can deny it all you want, but I know that inside there you’ve got some kind of internal war going on. We won’t even deal with the relationship talk right now. That’s not what this is about. You are a grown woman who deserves to be treated well, and you know that I’m capable of doing that.”

He turned my hand over and started rubbing the same circular pattern on the soft, fleshy part of my palm. My breathing was coming a little faster, and I squirmed in my chair absently. There was an electric current running from where his finger touched me, straight to my clit. I was surprised because I had never experienced anything like this before with another man. Sure, guys could turn me on with a touch, but this was something slow and simmering, building up in the deepest parts of me, and I was savoring every second of the attention he was giving me.

“Do you want me to fuck you, Madison?”

There was something about the way he said my full name that made me shiver with delight. How to answer him though. I knew I didn’t need to overthink it. It was a problem I always had, but right now at this moment…I knew exactly what I wanted.

“Yes.”

“Tell me then. Say it.”

“I want you to fuck me, Alex.”

His chair scraped against the wood floor of his dining room, and he came around to my side of the table, reaching out a hand for me. I placed my hand in his and stood, and he swept me up into a kiss, one I had been waiting for since the moment I saw him in the hardware store. He could have done it there—pulled me close and kissed me full on the lips in the middle of McCall’s Hardware, and I would have been his again. I realized that now.

But here, in the solitude of his home at the back of the ranch, we had the privacy that he never could afford when we were dating, and he took advantage of it without any hesitation. Breaking the kiss and moving his lips up the line of my jaw I could feel the scrape of his stubble against my cheek and the musky scent of aftershave, but still somewhere, maybe on his clothes, the sweet smell of hay. I held back a smile and instead let my body follow his lead.

He kissed a trail up to my ear and said, “I’ve wanted this for a long time.” Not wasting a second, he picked me up, startling me as he carried me up the stairs and into his bedroom, leaving the door open behind us. He put me back on my feet in front of the bed and stepped back, undressing with the kind of intent that showed me he had one thing on his mind.

“Take off your clothes,” he said, a gruff tone in his voice now.

Slowly I unzipped the dress I was wearing and let it fall to the floor. I stepped out of my shoes and unhooked my bra, freeing my breasts and baring them to him. I heard him breath in deeply and watched him take a single step closer, hooking his thumbs in the sides of my panties and pulling them down as he sank to the floor, spreading my legs slightly and leaning in to breathe in the scent of me.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he said as he spread my lips and dipped his tongue in for a taste, pushing me back on the bed and pressing my legs apart.

I was so wet from his words at dinner and the thought of him fucking me. In all my life I couldn’t remember being so aroused, and he was there, licking up every drop of me. His tongue felt like a dream, swirling around my clit and sucking gently as he worked two fingers inside of me. I cried out at the sensation of them filling me, and he sucked harder, refusing to stop as I arched my back. I could feel it building, carrying me higher, and Alex knew exactly what it took to make me come. He wasn’t going to stop until I was there. I let go of all my trepidation about this moment, and in a second the warmth turned to an explosion, and my legs were shaking around his shoulders as he sucked and licked until I begged him to stop.

“I want you inside me,” I said as he moved up to the bed, crawling on top of me and pulling his boxer briefs off. His cock sprang out, and I reached for him, aching to touch him—to feel him and remember.

He shuddered under my touch and pressed himself against my wet and still quivering pussy. It was electricity and heat, and I wanted it all, every second of this pleasure to keep going forever. Slowly he slid inside me as I guided him, lifting my hips to bring him deeper. Finally, when he settled completely inside me, I let out a sigh of contentment and wrapped my legs around him, cradling him against my body.

“I’ve wanted this for a long time, too.”

Alex groaned and thrusted slowly. I could see how much restraint he was using, and I wanted to tell him to go fast, to fuck me as hard as he wanted, but I was enjoying the slow, delicious rhythm of him making love to me.

I reached for my clit, rubbing as he picked up his pace.

“Don’t hold back,” I said as I looked up into his eyes. Finding them trained directly on my face, almost unblinking, made me gasp and cry out. He was looking at me like he never had before and it was frightening and exciting all at once.

He thrusted hard and deep, his pulsing cock driving me over the edge of another orgasm that rippled through my body and made me cry out for him, digging my fingernails into his back and pulling him tight against me. He groaned loudly and thrusted twice, hard and fast, as the throes of his climax overtook him.

We laid there, basking in the heat of what had passed between us until we could stand it no longer and reached for each other again.