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Almost Never by Amy Lamont (3)

Chapter 2

HARPER THREW HER bag on the chair just inside the front door of her apartment. She stood still in the entryway, listening. Silence met her and she let out a shuddering sigh. Thank God, she had the apartment to herself.

She went straight to her room and locked the door behind her anyway. She leaned back against the door and squeezed her eyes closed, letting her head fall back with a thump. Wetness gathered in the corner of each eye, and her eyes popped open, staring straight up at the ceiling. Her fists clenched at her sides but she couldn’t fight hard enough to hold the tears back another second. A damp trail started in the corner of each eye and slowly streaked down towards her hairline. It started with a small trickle, but in less than a minute, the tears completely saturated the hair at her temples.

She tilted her head forward and the tears found a new path. Now sliding down her cheeks and leaking into her mouth until their salt tingled on her tongue. She lifted her hands and flattened her palms against her cheeks before pulling them forward to stare at them.

She would have been less surprised to see blood on them than the evidence of tears. Harper sucked her lips between her teeth and pulled in a shuddering breath, trying to hold back the wave that was coming.

But there was no more holding it back. It broke through her with the power of a tidal wave, slamming into her chest and making it hard to breathe.

She flung herself across the room and onto the twin bed under the window, her hands scrambling for a pillow to muffle the sounds of her grief. Finally, she let go of everything she’d been holding onto from the moment she heard the words, “…it’s going to have to be a no.”

Her body shook and she clutched the pillow tight, sucking wavering breaths in through the cotton pillowcase. Every injustice she’d been served since her dad died rose up, threatening to close her throat while her tears continued to try to push their way through.

Three rapid knocks at the door made her lurch into a sitting position, her pillow clutched to her belly. Her mouth opened, but no words came out.

“Harper?”

A keening moan escaped her in response to her roommate’s call. She didn’t want Jamie to see her like this, but she couldn’t form the words to keep her out.

“Harper!” Jamie rattled the doorknob as she twisted it back and forth and backwards and forwards as she shook the door in its frame. “What the fuck is going on? What happened with Professor Costa?”

At his name, Harper squeezed the pillow, twisting it in her hands, and clenched her back teeth as she fought to find the reassuring voice that would send Jamie away. She huffed in two quick breaths and as she let them out, finally managed to get the words out.

“I’m fine.” Her voice left her in a hoarse rasp only a little louder than a whisper. She coughed and tried again. “I’m really tired, Jamie, can we talk about this later?”

A long silence followed before Jamie’s footsteps carried her away from the door. That was easy.

Jamie’s interruption had at least one good thing going for it. She’d finally managed to get her sobbing under control. She leaned over and snagged the pillow from the floor, tossing it back on her bed.

With another shuddering breath, she stood and headed for her tiny, private bathroom. She turned the cold water on full blast and leaned down to splash it over her face. She reached blindly for a facecloth and soaked it and then stood and pressed the icy cold cloth against her tear-swollen eyes. Her eyes burned and tingled as she fought to keep from breaking into sobs once more.

Finally, she pulled the facecloth from her eyes. Only to find Jamie standing in the bathroom doorway. Harper screamed and dropped the facecloth into the sink with a wet splat. Icy water hit her shirt and she jumped back with another small shriek. She tottered for a second before righting herself and reached over to brace herself on the vanity.

Harper twisted off the taps before turning to glare at her roommate. “How did you get in here?”

Jamie shrugged one shoulder. “Picked the lock.”

Harper shook her head. “That one of the skills you picked up in prep school?”

“Yup.”

“Why?”

Jamie took a step into the bathroom. “Why? Why do you think, Harper? I come home expecting to hear good news and instead I find your bedroom door locked and your voice all funny like you spent the last month crying. You! The girl I’ve seen cry once in the last two years, and that consisted of two tiny tears sliding down your cheeks before you pulled yourself together.”

Harper pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. Even talking about crying made the sobs want to rise up and pour out of her again.

“Harper, what happened?” Jamie’s voice had lost its edge, now soft and concerned.

Harper shook her head.

Jamie inched closer, slowly and carefully as if she approached a wounded animal. “Did you talk to your professor?”

Harper’s head dipped low and her vision blurred. In an instant, the hot saltiness was back on her tongue. Jamie’s hand landed gently on her back, skimming from her shoulder down to the small of her back and back up again.

The simple gesture broke Harper. When was the last time someone had comforted her as she cried? Sobs broke from her and she slowly sank to the floor.

Jamie followed her down, hugging her close. “Shh…it’s going to be okay, sweetie.”

Hysterical laughter bubbled up in Harper’s throat and came out mingled with her sobs. “H-how? How is th-this going to b-be okay?”

Jamie rocked her gently and pushed back the tear-dampened strands of hair clinging to Harper’s cheek. “Tell me what happened. We can figure this out. I promise.”

Harper turned her face towards her roommate. “He said no, Jamie. Barely even looked at me. He…he won’t even consider me for his program.”

Jamie’s arms tightened around Harper, pulling her in close. “Oh, sweetie. I’m so sorry.”

Harper allowed herself to be comforted for a few minutes while she reached deep for her normal pragmatic self. Her jaw clenched against the onslaught of more tears. Enough.

She leaned back and swiped at her wet cheeks. “Professor Costa told me I’m not a standout. Whatever that means.”

Jamie gave Harper’s shoulder another squeeze. “So he wouldn’t even take an application? With your grades?”

Harper shook her head. “He told me I wasn’t on his radar.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

A small smile tugged at the corner of Harper’s mouth at Jamie’s outraged tone. Then her thoughts turned once again to the moments in the lecture hall. Her smiled fell and she shrugged. “He had no idea who I was. He said he usually already has a few candidates picked out before he even starts accepting applications. The students he accepts for his program usually have more going for them than just good grades.”

Jamie’s nose wrinkled. “You have more going for you than just good grades. You maintain your scholarship while working two jobs. You’re an amazing cook. You’re compassionate. You….”

Harper hugged her knees and a small laugh escaped her. “Maybe I should have had you go convince him to let me in the mentorship program.” Her mouth twisted into a grimace. “Or maybe I should have had Declan Cooper do it for me.”

At the mention of that name, Jamie’s eyes narrowed. “What?”

Harper filled Jamie in on the conversation she’d overheard between Declan and her professor.

“Rat bastard.”

Harper nodded her agreement and then rested her chin on her knees. “Entitled rat bastard. I work my ass off and get nothing. He slacks and has the professor agreeing to anything he wants.”

Jamie snorted. “Too bad you couldn’t get Declan to plead your case.”

Harper’s head flew up and she pierced Jamie with her gaze.

Jamie held her hands out in front of her. “Kidding, kidding. Jeez.”

“It’s not a bad idea,” Harper said.

“Yeah, right. While you’re at it, why don’t you see if you can skip right over the rest of undergrad and toddle off to med school?” Jamie rolled her eyes.

“Seriously, Jamie. He needs to pass Biology. I could make that a breeze for him. And I need help doing just what he did today—making Professor Costa sit up and take notice of me.”

“You’re nuts. You can’t possibly think this is a good idea.”

Harper didn’t respond, just held her gaze steady on Jamie.

“Shit.”

“WHY DON’T YOU at least wait until tomorrow? Maybe you’ll see things differently once you’re feeling less emotional?”

“No way, Jamie. I need to find him before one of his groupies offers him help.” Harper strode down the street where most of the campus’s fraternity houses were located. She wrinkled her nose at the front porches full of beer-stained sofas and assorted frat boys. She halted in front of the one that had a slight tilt to the left. “This is it, right?”

She hunched her shoulders. She didn’t really need the clarification. Even though she’d only been in this house once, and that two years ago, she could probably pick her way from the front door to the basement with her eyes closed.

Jamie stopped beside her with a loud sigh. “Harper, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Harper turned her head to look at her friend. “I know you don’t. But I promise, I know what I’m doing.”

Jamie looked at her for a few long beats and then shook her head before sighing again. “Fine. But if I can’t talk you out of this, I can at least go in with you. You don’t need to confront him alone.”

Harper rolled her eyes. “It’s hardly a confrontation. More like…a business proposition.”

Jamie snorted and shook her head but when Harper moved toward the front door, she stayed close behind her. A few feet from the front steps, Harper stopped dead. Jamie plowed right into her back. Harper stumbled a few steps forward before finding her footing, darting a look over the lawn and porch to make sure nobody witnessed her almost fall. She shot a narrow-eyed glance over her shoulder. “Are we doing our Lucy and Ethel impression today?”

“Don’t look at me. You’re the one who put on the brakes.”

Harper sighed and turned her gaze back to the door. “I just realized I’ve never actually stormed a frat house. At least not in the light of day. Do I knock? Just walk in?”

Jamie shrugged. “Like I spend time in frat houses? Just go knock.”

“Can I help you ladies?”

Harper turned to find three guys coming up the walkway. She recognized the fraternity brothers immediately despite never having exchanged two words with them before. One of the drawbacks of attending a school as small as Warren College. Not to mention the one on the end was the guy who helped start the rumors about her to begin with.

She opened her mouth and then clamped it shut before turning wide eyes on Jamie. The last couple of years she’d made a fine art of avoiding confrontation with any of the guys from Declan’s frat house. Now, faced with the possibility of having to talk to them, she couldn’t make herself speak.

Jamie just stared at her and tilted her head back towards the guys.

“Um…” Harper turned back to the trio. “I’m looking for Declan Cooper?” She wanted to cringe at the way her voice trailed into a question. If she was going to convince Declan her plan was a good one, she should at least be able to sound confident. Right?

“Is Declan up again?” The snide comment came from the guy on the end. The one who listened when Caitlyn Capshaw whispered in his ear.

She wrinkled her nose. “Excuse me?”

“Wasn’t Declan your first target? I just figured you made the rounds through the guys on campus and Declan must be up again. Second times the charm, right?”

A sharp pain lanced through her chest. She’d known exactly what kind of poison Caitlyn was spreading that night two years ago. But since then, she’d spent two years keeping her head down and avoiding confrontations just like this one. He had to know by now the rumors he spread were crap.

Jamie plunked her hands on her hips, all blonde hair and attitude. “Fuck you. You don’t know…”

“Jamie.” The word came out on a sharp staccato, all hesitation gone. She’d had enough today. Harper narrowed her eyes on the guy who had spoken. “My business with Declan is my business. Do you know where he is?”

“Like I’d tell you. The last thing Declan needs is another gold digger trying to whore her way into his wallet.”

Jamie jumped towards him. “What…”

Harper wrapped a hand around Jamie’s arm and gave her a gentle shake. She kept her grip until Jamie’s full attention was on her and then she gave a small shake of her head. They didn’t need to get into a brawl with this ignorant asshole on the front lawn of the frat house. She’d spent years avoiding being at the center of the rumors circulating around campus. She couldn’t do anything about the things people made up, but she’d be damned if she was about to give them fodder for their gossip.

Harper slid her gaze to the sniggering frat boys. Why did they always seem to travel in packs? Like jackals. “Again, my business with Declan is my business. But it would be interesting to hear how he feels about you defending his honor so strenuously. Does he know you vet the women who want to get in his pants?”

The tips of his ears reddened and he leaned forward. “It’s no secret around here that you’re a fucking whore,” he spit through clenched teeth.

Harper fought to keep her expression one of extreme boredom—the look she’d used on her aunt every time the woman got on one of her rants—before she asked coldly, “Is there another kind of whore?”

Jamie’s head whipped around, her eyes going wide.

Harper held back a sigh. No, this wasn’t her usual style. But seriously, enough was enough. She’d been watching these rich pricks since the day she arrived. They thought they owned the campus and they’d cut down anyone whose parents didn’t fall in the same tax bracket without an ounce of remorse. She may have to kiss some ass to get into the mentorship program, but this ignorant asshole was not on her list.

“Let me ask one more time.” She shot a look at the two guys who’d stood there this whole time doing nothing more than smirking at their buddy’s comments. “Anyone know where Declan is?”

“Right here.”

A chill ran down her spine and she spun on her heel. Declan stood on the bottom step of the front porch. His jaw clenched so hard a vein throbbed in his cheek.

But his gaze wasn’t resting on her. Nope, it was burning into the three boys standing in front of her.

“Dec, I was just telling these,” the vocal frat boy’s lip pulled up in a sneer, “ladies, you aren’t interested in what they’re selling.”

Declan’s glance moved over Harper and Jamie, and if she didn’t know better, Harper would say his gaze softened for a fraction of a second. But when it returned to the young men, there was nothing soft about it.

“Fuck off, Drew.”

“Dec, man,” Drew held his hands out in front of him, ”I was just looking out for you.” The sneer had left his face. “No harm done.”

“No harm done!” Jamie’s indignant voice snapped out at him. “You called Harper a whore!”

“What?”

In unison, all heads turned to the front porch. The one word spoken with such quiet force caused goose bumps to rise on Harper’s arms and a small tremor to ripple through her body.

Nobody said a word as Declan moved steadily down the steps, his eyes never leaving Drew. “What did you say to her?”

“Listen, Dec, I’m sorry.” Drew kept his hands up, palms out.

Harper wanted to smirk at the backpedaling. But she was too busy drinking in Declan—the broad shoulders that all but hid the guy in front of him. His black Henley, sleeves pushed up, clung to his biceps. Even standing a few feet away from him, she could swear she felt his heat, and it took all her strength to keep from closing the distance between them so she could burrow into his back and absorb that heat into herself.

Fuck. Aside from yesterday morning, this was the closest she’d stood to Declan since that party. And her emotions had been all over the place before she came up with her plan. How could she still feel his pull after two years, and knowing firsthand what a jackass he could be?

For the first time since storming out of her apartment with Jamie hot on her heels, doubts about her plan crept in.

“It’s not me you owe the apology,” Declan said, his voice a low growl.

Drew tilted to the side and made eye contact with Harper. “Sorry.”

But the look in his eyes told her he was not. As snotty and obnoxious as he’d been a minute ago, now there was a new coldness in his expression. Something about the way his arctic eyes bore into hers made her want to step back. But she held her ground.

And taking her eyes off Declan for a moment made her plans take center stage in her mind once again. If she was going to get into the premed mentorship program, she was going to have to suck it up and deal with whatever feelings Declan managed to stir up. She’d spent too much time mapping her future right down to the tiniest detail. She wouldn’t back down now.

“Whatever,” she said, lifting a shoulder carelessly. “I need to talk to you, Declan.”

Declan stared at her a long moment. She bit the tender flesh inside her cheek to hold steady. She had no clue what to expect, but little would surprise her. Maybe he’d laugh outright and tell Drew he was only kidding and call Harper a whore himself.

But finally, he crossed his arms over his chest, turned to look at his fraternity brothers, and then jerked his chin towards the house.

Without another word, the three men filed past and up the front porch. Declan waited until the door closed behind the trio before he pinned his gaze to Harper.

“Jamie,” Harper said, “would you mind giving us a minute?”

Jamie wrinkled her nose at Harper. “I think I should stay.”

Harper turned pleading eyes on her friend. “It’s fine, Jamie. Please.”

Jamie focused narrowed eyes on Declan. Harper tried to be patient as her friend gave him a dirty look that easily communicated her unhappiness at the idea of leaving the two of them alone. Even if she was just a few steps away.

For the first time in twenty-four hours, Harper wanted to smile. She didn’t. She needed to keep her cool. But seeing her friend standing there, ready to slay all of Harper’s dragons, made her have to fight the impulse.

She took two steps forward and gave Jamie a quick hug. “It’s fine. I promise,” she whispered in her friend’s ear.

Jamie huffed out a breath and stepped back. “Fine. But I’ll be right there.” She pointed to a bus stop bench in front of the house next door.

Harper nodded and kept her eyes trained on Jamie until she was perched on the bench. She slowly pulled a deep breath in before straightening her shoulders and turning to face Declan.

His pose was the same—arms crossed over his chest, eyes trained on her. His expression didn’t give anything away.

Her adrenaline spiked in that moment, urging her to run far, far away. She dug her heels into the sidewalk and held her ground.

The alternative to fleeing wasn’t her best choice either. Picking a fight with him wouldn’t get her what she wanted any more than running.

He titled his head and raised an eyebrow. “You called this meeting.”

She took a deep breath. “I did. Thanks for…” She glanced at the front door of the frat house where the three guys had disappeared.

He nodded, his gaze never leaving her.

“I heard your discussion with Professor Costa yesterday.”

He nodded again.

“I’m having a little trouble with him, too. I thought maybe we could help each other out.”

“Help each other out?” He ran a hand through his already unruly hair. “It was a Genetics class I walked into yesterday, wasn’t it?”

It was her turn to nod.

“You hoping I’ll tutor you?” His lips twisted into a smirk.

She rolled her eyes. “No, I don’t need a tutor. I need…”

How did she explain this? Really, she did need tutoring. And she wished it was in something as simple as Biology. Could he tutor her so that she was less socially awkward?

She sighed and glanced around the yard, focusing on a crumpled beer can under a half-dead shrub in front of the house next door. Anything to avoid making eye contact while admitting to Declan Cooper that she needed his help. “I’m trying to get accepted into a premed mentorship program. Professor Costa won’t consider me because he apparently didn’t have the first clue who I was before the moment I spoke to him in class today.”

Declan snorted and her gaze darted back to his face. He was looking down at his boots shaking his head. “Was that really a surprise, Harper?”

She scrunched her forehead. “Well…yeah. I have a 3.9 average and I’m acing his Genetics class. The class the science majors refer to as the Equalizer because it brings down the GPAs of the students who usually ruin the curve.”

He grinned. “Students like you?”

She shook her head at his amusement. “Well…yeah. But don’t you think he’d at least recognize the name of the student known for ruining the curve in all her classes?”

“No one has the first clue you’re ruining the curve. Most of the people on campus don’t have the first clue who you are.”

That wasn’t true. He’d made sure of that. “Your friend Drew seemed to know exactly who I am.”

His mouth twisted. “He’s the exception. He was there that night.”

She knew exactly what night he was talking about, but damned if she was going there. “Look, I noticed Professor Costa knew exactly who you are. Even though you’re flunking.”

He shrugged and the expression on his face said it all. Of course everyone knew Declan Cooper. The son of a rock star, she was surprised his name wasn’t on half the buildings on campus.

She gritted her teeth to bite back the snide comments rushing up in her throat. She looked down and fought to keep her cool before going on. “I just thought…maybe I could help you with Bio and you could, I don’t know, help me get on Professor Costa’s radar.”

His body jerked, like he’d taken a blow, and his eyes narrowed on her. He folded his arms and stood up to his full height. “That’s what you wanted to talk about?”

A shiver worked its way through her at his tone, but she nodded and waited for his response.

She didn’t have long to wait.

“No.”

“What? But, I can help you.”

He shrugged and his mouth flattened. “I can pay a tutor. I’ll pass the class. I don’t need straight As to keep a scholarship.”

Each word he spoke struck like a knife plunging deep. She was right to be worried when he was confronting Drew. It was a joke. He had no intention of really listening to her. He might as well have stood there with the other three and called her a whore.

Harper straightened her spine, turned on the heel of a black Doc Marten, and held onto the lasts shreds of her control to walk rather than run to where Jamie waited.

For the first time since she came up with the idea to approach Declan, she was happy to have her best friend along. She’d need her to get home without losing it again.

* * *

DECLAN STOOD RIGID on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the front pockets of his jeans and his eyes glued to Harper’s retreating back until she and Jamie disappeared around the corner.

What the fuck? The last thing he expected to find when he stepped out of the house was Harper Warden on his doorstep. And especially not there asking for him.

When he heard Drew called her a whore, a white hot rage streaked through his head. How he left Drew standing was still a mystery to him.

Once he was alone, face to face with Harper, his mind raced. Part of him had been waiting for this moment since he’d figured out she wasn’t the gold digger he’d thought her to be. The other part of him wanted to tell her to run. The girl in front of him, the one who protected herself by living on the fringe of things on campus, would hate being part of his life.

But he wanted to hear what brought her to him. Finally.

Guess he learned his lesson. For the last two years he thought he’d misjudged her. Her flat out telling him she wanted to use who he was—he snorted because everyone knew it wasn’t about who he was, but rather who his father was—to get what she wanted blew a hot black hole through his chest. The hit was so hard he’d almost reeled backwards.

He looked down at the sidewalk and swiped a hand over the back of his neck. Maybe it was a good thing he’d has his illusions shattered. Maybe now he’d let go of his obsession. Maybe.

He didn’t know how long he’d have stood there, but the door opened behind him. He twisted his neck towards the sound.

Drew ambled out. “Dec, man, I’m sorry.”

Declan stepped up onto the porch, giving Drew a hard look. But the image of Harper acting like the user he’d once thought her to be drifted through his mind and he stepped past Drew toward the open door. “You know what? Don’t even worry about it.”

He was done with Harper Warden.