After their pulsating had finally ceased, they laid on that floor, still breathing heavily, still in each other’s arms, as those deep feelings they always seemed to feel whenever they were in the other’s company, surfaced again.  And alarmed them both.

Especially Amelia.  She was still reeling from the way Hammer had put it on her.  Now those deep, indescribable feelings too?  “I’ve got something to tell you,” she said quickly, to change her heart’s attention.

Hammer looked at her, understanding it too.  “What?” he asked.

“Remember that night in that cloak room?”

He smiled.  How could he forget it?  “Yes.”

“You asked about my parents and my siblings.”

He didn’t expect it to go in that direction.  “Okay.”

“I know who they are now.”

Hammer stared at her.  “Do you?”

“I found out that my half-brother is somebody you probably know.”

This concerned Hammer.  “Who?”

Amelia looked at him.  “Mick Sinatra,” she said, and then searched his eyes to see the full impact of his reaction.

But she didn’t have to search at all.  She could feel his dick begin to deflate inside of her.  “Mick Sinatra is your brother?” he asked.  “Mick the Tick?”

Amelia smiled.  “Yes.”

That Italian motherfucker, he wanted to say, as if he still couldn’t believe they were talking about the same person.  “He has a black sister?” he asked instead.

Amelia smiled.  She understood his shock.  She was shocked too.  “We have the same mother, but different fathers.  Our mother gave me up when I was a baby because I was black, and her husband wasn’t.  She tried to kill me, and so did her husband.”

Hammer was shocked.  Shit, he thought.  This woman had been through hell since the cradle!  But he hesitated for a different reason.  Mick Sinatra? He didn’t need that Sinatra illegal drama shit in his life!  But he wanted Amelia.  No doubt about it anymore.  “How do you feel about being hooked up with him?” he asked her.

“I’m pleased,” she said truthfully.

“Pleased to be Mick the Tick’s sister?  You must don’t know that bastard very well.”

She laughed. “I know him well enough.  And yes, I’m pleased.”  Then she stared at him.  “How do you feel about it?”

“I would rather you didn’t have that connection.  For your sake.”

“And yours?” Amelia asked.

“And mine, yes,” he said, and then explained.  “I have a well-deserved reputation for being a badass.  I’ve done a lot in my life I’m not proud of.  But I still believe in the rule of law, and right and wrong.”

“As does the Sinatras,” Amelia said.  “They clap back, but they don’t go around starting shit.”

Hammer exhaled.  “The FBI have their sights on that group.  I was CIA.  They weren’t in my orbit very much.”

“But sometimes they were?”

He didn’t respond.  He just continued to stare at her.  And she could see concern in his eyes, which made her realize how easily she could fall for him.  And get her heart broken.  The prospect alarmed her.  And she bailed.  “I’m not settling down,” she said suddenly.

Hammer looked at her.  There was something about her that made men want to control her, and dominate her, and bend her to their will.  Hammer was a man, and had it in him, too.  But he cared about Amelia, deeply, and knew her dead husband treated her that way.  He knew she didn’t want that.  “I’m not settling, either,” he responded, which he knew was more than what she meant.

Amelia stared at him.  “So what is this?”

“This?”

“You and me.  What is it?  A one-night stand?”

Hammer leaned his head against hers, inhaling her sweet perfumed scent.  “No way,” he said.  “I have to have more.”

Amelia did too.  She could still feel him lodged inside of her, despite the fact that he had deflated.  And all of a sudden, instead of getting smaller, he began getting big again.  And she decided to dare him to go there.  “What are you saying?” she asked him.

“It’s not a one-night stand, that’s what I’m saying,” Hammer said.  “It never will be.”

“What is it then?”

Hammer stopped resting his forehead against hers and looked at her.  She surprised him because she almost sounded needy and clingy, which, he knew, wasn’t her at all.

Amelia realized she had revealed too much.  She wanted him, and now he knew it.  Which gave him power over her she couldn’t allow him to have.  She course-corrected quickly.  “We get to have our cake, and eat it too?”

He stared at her.  He knew she was covering up her mistake.

“An open relationship, in other words,” she went on.  “We get to see other people.”  She said this and looked at him, as if his response was everything.

The idea of another man touching her, entering her, and experiencing her so intimately the way he just had, disturbed him greatly.  But he wasn’t about to beg her ass.  Besides, this woman could make him sick in love, and he didn’t want that either.  “Yes,” he said.  “We get to see other people.”

He dared not, Amelia thought.  But instead of showing how hurt she was, she smiled.  “My kind of man,” she said.

“Still soaking?” he asked.

Amelia jumped at the sound of his voice.  She was back in the present now.  She was still in her jacuzzi tub, and had been lost in her thoughts about that night they conceived their son.  But the fact that she jumped so nervously proved how much that ambush and kidnapping she had just endured had affected her.  And how jittery she still was.  “Yes, I’m still soaking,” she said.

“How do you feel?” He stood there staring at her, as if he was assessing her the way a doctor would assess his patient.

“I feel . . . jittery,” she said.

“Nothing my dick can’t cure.  What about physically?  Did those bastards do any damage?”

His first comment, about his much-sought after dick, didn’t go over her head.  Because he was the master at stress relief.  “They were a little rough in the way they handled me.  But I’ll be okay.”

“Did you know them?” he asked.

“No.”  She guessed who they worked for, and guessed right, but she didn’t need Hammer calling in cops to arrest them, or the FBI.  She needed to exact her own revenge.

“Going to tell me who they work for?” he asked.  “Or you got it?”

She looked at him.  She loved the fact that he respected her abilities.  “I got it,” she said.

“When you finish with them, let me know.  They took out some of my men, too.”

“I’ll be sure to remind them of that very fact,” she said.  “I’ll let you know.”

But Hammer wasn’t satisfied.  He sat down on the Queen Anne-styled tufted armchair that stood prominently in the large bathroom, slouched down, and stretched his long legs out.  And as she continued to soak in the tub, he stared at her.

His suit coat and tie were removed, and the top three buttons of his shirt were unbuttoned.  She knew that meant he planned to spend the night with her.  Although she still ached from the way those assholes manhandled her, and was therefore too sore for sex, she would gladly give him some anyway if it meant he would hold her afterwards.  Hammer’s sex was great, and more wonderful than any she’d ever had, but his affection was even better.  She needed the warmth and protection of his big, loving arms tonight.   She was acquiring a weakness for that affection, and it bothered her mightily. 

“What went wrong, Amelia?” he finally asked her.

“You mean other than everything?”

He smiled.  “Other than that, yes.”

But she wouldn’t elaborate.  Weasel and his crew had her so out of sorts that she didn’t know which way was up.  And she had to find Jerardo.

Hammer knew she was lost in her own thoughts.  But he was also angry with her for nearly getting herself killed.  “Watch yourself, Amelia,” he warned her.  “You know who I am.  You can’t do any shit you want to do and expect me to continue to turn a blind’s eye.”

She looked at him.  And her anger rose too.  “Who you are has nothing to do with what I’m doing.”

“Like hell it doesn’t!  You’re the mother of my son.”

“Here we go.”

“I expect your ass to behave as a woman with more than just herself to be responsible for.”

“I do that.”

“Then why was your ass on Potomac at one in the morning?  Why was your ass ambushed if you’re so upright and forthright and not involved in any underhanded shit?”

“You’re one to talk.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hammer asked.

“You’re just a friendly little nightclub owner the way a lion is just a friendly little cat,” Amelia said.  “That’s what it means!  Don’t motherfucking judge me.  Your ass ain’t no choir boy either.”

“But my ass got enough sense to keep my shit undercover,” Hammer shot back.  “My ass wasn’t ambushed on Potomac at one in the morning because my ass has enough sense not to be anywhere near that rathole that time of morning!”

“I was driving on a street.  How fucking irresponsible of me.”

“Just watch yourself, Amelia.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.”

Amelia was surprised he didn’t say a whole lot more.  Because she knew how he felt about her business.  But Hammer, unlike anybody else, understood her need to do her own thing.  “I’ll be careful,” she said.

Hammer stared at her.  “Your brothers know you’re trafficking in that shit again?” he asked.

Amelia didn’t respond to that.

“They wouldn’t approve, I’m willing to bet.”

Amelia looked at him.  “You keep them out of it.”

“I take care of you and our son.  Why do you need to do that shit?  You don’t need---”

“I don’t need a man taking care of me, that’s what I don’t need.”  She looked at him.  “I can’t go down that road ever again, Hammer.  You don’t know what it was like.  He fed me.  He clothed me.  He told me when I could shit gotdammit!  And you think I’m going to allow myself to go back to that way of life again?  Where some man handles me like that?  My brothers are domineering.  Your ass is even more domineering.  I let y’all run my life, guess what’s going to happen?  Y’all are going to run my life!  I’m not going out like that.  Not ever again.  You got your own shit.  Mick got his own shit.  Charles got his own shit.  Guess what?  I got mine, too.”

But the look in Hammer’s eyes had softened.  Surprisingly so to Amelia.  Then he spoke: “It was hellish, wasn’t it?” he asked her.

Amelia was about to sip from her wine, but stopped.  And sat it back down.  She knew exactly what he meant.  “Yes,” she said.  “After you saw me that day in that alley, and I got away from you, he was waiting for me in a van.  He blamed me when that bank heist failed.  I wasn’t even in the bank.  I didn’t have shit to do with it.  But he blamed me.  He beat me so bad I had to be hospitalized for months.  And he had security there with me the whole time, in case I decided to tell somebody that some stranger didn’t beat my ass, my husband did!”

She paused.  “That night we were in that cloak room, he beat me after that too.  One of his goons spotted me coming out.  That beating was so bad he wouldn’t even let me go to the hospital.  I just had to tough it out at home.  And all y’all Washington DC bigwigs were hailing that monster as some paragon of virtue when he could make Jeffrey Dahmer look like a good guy.”

Hammer could see the anger, the bitterness, and the pain in her eyes.

“I can no longer be the quiet little girl some big strong man wants to take care of,” she said, “because I was that girl, and I can’t go out like that again.  I can’t allow it to happen.  You don’t go through what I went through and be untouched.  That shit touched me.  It knocked the hell out of me.  I’m still trying to get my footing back.  It’s easy for you and Mick to tell me to quit doing what I do.  It’s easy for Big Daddy to tell me to find a good man, settle down, and live a good life.  I want that shit, too.  But not if it means I have to give up myself again to get it.”

Then she shook her head and grabbed her wine glass again.  “I’m fucked up,” she said.  “That’s the truth.  I’m a fucking handful.”

Hammer felt such strong affection for Amelia that he inwardly had to wrestle with himself to keep it tamped down.  But he had to let her know something.  “I can handle you,” he said heartfelt.  “Don’t you worry about that.”

Amelia needed to know that she hadn’t scared him away.  She smiled too.  “If any man can handle me, and that’s a big if; but if any man can, it’s you,” she said equally heartfelt.

         And it was real at that moment in time.  Maybe too real.  They both looked away, and she returned the subject to their original conversation.  “I didn’t see it coming,” she said.  “That’s what went wrong.  We took heavy casualties.  All of my men and most of yours too.”

Hammer nodded.  “Yep.  It was a pro hit, no doubt about that.”

“And I should have seen it coming.  That was my fault.  But after the first wave, when I got away, I thought I was home free.  I’m not usually that careless.  But I was that time.”

“So were your men,” Hammer said.  What she loved most about him was the fact that he didn’t patronize her.  If she messed up, he called her on it.  She messed up.  He didn’t try to tell her it wasn’t her fault.  “Half should have stayed and fought, but the other half should have escorted you.”

“Your men weren’t exactly titans of battle either,” she said, and then looked at him.  “Oh, yeah, I knew you had me followed.  What am I stupid?  I told you I didn’t like that shit, but you keep putting those fools on my trail anyway.  I don’t like spies, Hammer.”

“They aren’t spies.  They’re there if you need them, but they don’t report back to me on your activities at all.  I promise you that.”

Amelia stared at him, unsure if she could believe that promise.  She knew why he was going all out on her protection like that: she was the mother of his son.  But that only begged her other question: if she wasn’t his son’s mother, would he even be with her?  “I don’t need protection,” she said, and sipped from her glass of wine.

But Hammer begged to differ.  “You need it,” he said bluntly.

“Why?  Because I’m JoJo’s mother?”

Hammer stared at her.  She’d never know how proud he was that she was the mother of his son.  But that wasn’t ever going to be the only reason he cared about her.  “Among other reasons, yes,” he said.

She smiled.  “Other reasons my ass.  What other reasons?”

Hammer didn’t respond.

“You’re silent because there are no other reasons, and your ass knows it,” Amelia said.  “You weren’t concerned with my safety before you knew I had your son.”

“That’s what you think,” he said.

Amelia looked at him.  Hope sprang within her.  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I was concerned with your safety before I found out about JoJo.”

She wanted desperately to believe it.  “You were?”

“Yes!”

“Why?” she asked, and stared at him.

He was uncomfortable as hell.  Why was she always so inquisitive?  “We had a relationship.  I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“Oh, Hammer, get real!  All we did was sleep together, and even that wasn’t exclusive.”  Although it was for Amelia.

“I still stand by what I said,” Hammer responded.  “We had a relationship and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

“So you have a security detail on every woman you sleep with?  Is that what you expect me to believe?”

Even Hammer had to smile at that.  “Not quite, no.”

Amelia smiled too, although this was an extremely serious subject for her.  “Not quite, hun?  Okay, how many?  How many of your numerous women do you have your men following to make sure they’re okay?”

“It’s getting late,” Hammer said, looking at his Rolex.

“No, now, Hammer, don’t even try that!  Your ass was the one who said our relationship was what caused you to have your guys on me.  So I want to know how many other women in your little black book have you also provided security for?”

Hammer didn’t respond.

“How many, Ham?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“How many, Hammer, I’m not changing the subject.”

“None, alright?  Satisfied?  None.”

She was satisfied indeed.  “It’s not a question of being satisfied,” she said.  “It’s a question of why.”

Hammer felt as if it was a moment of truth for them again, but he wasn’t at all sure if either one of them was ready to face that truth.  But he barreled ahead anyway.  “I don’t place you in that category.”

Amelia continued to stare at him.  “What category?”

“Everybody else falls into one category.  You fall into another one.  You’re in a category all your own.”

Amelia felt a swell of emotion, but she maintained her cool.  Besides, she was no bright-eyed, bushy-tailed kid.  She had issues, and so did Hammer.  “If I’m in a category all by myself,” she said, “what category does Reggie Dell fall into?”

Reggie Dell, Hammer thought.  She was always bringing up Reggie!  That was why he had already taken it upon himself to set up a meeting.  “She’ll be in Canada day after tomorrow,” he said.  “On Friday.  I want you in Montreal, too.  The three of us are going to have a little chat.”

Amelia was shocked.  It would be the first time she and Reggie had ever been in a room together that she knew of, or even spoken a word to each other.  Hammer always kept them separate.  “What will this chat be about?” she asked.

“The three of us.”

Amelia shook her head.  “I don’t do that threesome shit,” she said.  “If that’s what that’s about.”

“Just bring your ass to Montreal on Friday and see for yourself.”  Then he looked at her.  “Okay?”

Amelia had a sinking feeling this meeting would be all about how important Reggie was to him, and how she could forget all thoughts of supplanting that.  More heartbreak for her, in other words.

But she was too curious to let the opportunity to finally meet the apparent love of Hammer’s life pass her by.  She had to hear it from the horse’s mouth.  Maybe then she could move on.  “Okay,” she said.

He rose to his feet.  “Now get out of that tub before you wrinkle.”

She laughed.  But she stood up.

Hammer grabbed a towel, wrapped it around her body, and then lifted her into his arms and carried her into the bedroom.  He stood her on her feet, dried her off, and then pulled back the satin sheets.  After he had her snuggly in bed, he undressed and got in with her.

He laid on his back, and she turned sideways, toward him, and laid her body against him.  Then she reached down and began stroking his penis.  But he touched her hand and lifted it to his muscle-tight, bare chest.  Although he wanted her, and had the hard-on to prove it, he knew she was still in a state.

“I just want to hold you tonight,” he said.

Amelia smiled as she looked into his loving eyes.  And she snuggled against him and wrapped her arms around him, too.  No man had ever been as kind to her, and had done as much for her, as Hammer had.  She loved his arms around her naked body.  She loved the feel of his hard body against hers.  She loved . . . him?

She closed her eyes.  Too much to deal with right now.  She had a lot on her plate already than to dig deeper into her feelings for Hammer.  She had to assess the damage to her operation.  She had to find that asshole Jerardo Jovanni and damage him.  And that meeting with Reggie Dell, the one woman who just might take Hammer away from her, was soon to come.  But somehow that meeting with Reggie became front and center on her mind as Hammer held her, and trumped all else.