My doorbell rang while I was in the middle of packing the last of my things. I had finally decided to go on a small vacation. Okay, a big vacation. I thought that Australia would be a good place. I heard only good things about it. Hawaii was on the list too, but I was getting a bit disenchanted with it by the amount of times that I have visited it on business. I didn’t know how long I wanted to be gone either. I know I wanted to leave long enough to get a break from everyone and everything, but I wanted to be back in time to see my half brother be born.

Thinking about it made my skin crawl. I wasn’t going to be the youngest anymore. I would have none of the privileges with all of the down side. This was sure to take some of my dad’s attention off of me, but it would just make my mom that much more desperate for all her kids. If I had kids, they would have an uncle that was only a few years their elder. I hated the thought.

It took me a bit to sort through the things of mine that were by the door to get to it. I didn’t bother looking through the peephole. I would regret that.

It was her outside my door. I had no idea what to do when I saw her there, standing outside. I began to shut the door again and I groaned with it.

“Wait!” she said. She pushed the door and let herself in. I plopped down on my coach and I waited for her to talk until she was done bothering me. She followed me to the coach and sat beside me. “Let me just talk to you. It won’t take long.”

I said nothing. I walked further into my house. She followed. I was starting to regret not locking my door. I would always check the peephole from now on.

“Talking to me is the least you could do after ignoring all my calls and texts. Besides, driving here by myself is probably the boldest thing I have and will ever do so this is your one chance to hear me out.”

I turned back to look at her. She followed me everywhere I went. I should have gone on vacation the minute I got back. I decided there was no more point, and I went back to the coach. I would be gone soon. I laid with my face down.

“You have five minutes. Anymore, and you won’t be able to afford me.”

She sounded annoyed. I might have hurt her by saying that. “Ouch, okay. That’s mean. But fine.”

“Time starts now.”

“Okay, so originally when we went away, I was using you. And what I wanted to happen happened exactly.” She wasn’t helping herself. I considered cutting her time short. “But that isn’t what I wanted after all. When you saw me downstairs with Tom, I’ll be honest, he came on to me. He said he missed me. He said that he wanted what we have and I couldn’t let him think that. I didn’t want him to miss me anymore. I just wanted to be done with him. And now I am done with him, but I don’t have you anymore.”

I turned my head to look at her while she spoke. She picked at her nails, but she looked me in the eyes with sincerity. I thought about the drive from her place to here. It had to have taken at least 4 hours. I didn’t know how she got my address. I didn’t care at this point. I just wanted to hear what she had to say until there was peace in the world again. “Keep talking.”

“So, when we went away, I was already confused. I have had an awful two years, and just when I think that my life can’t get worse, it does. But then, with you, I was having a really great time. I didn’t worry about the next day, and I didn’t worry about the day before. You made me feel like I didn’t have anything to worry about at all. It was so easy to hang out with you.”

It had been easy to get to know her. I still didn’t want to talk to her. She made me feel used. I knew that that had been my job, and it was my fault for being emotional, but I didn’t think that she would have been the type of person that took advantage of another person like that.

“The whole time I was getting to know you, it seemed like we spent most of that in front of other people, so it was hard to tell if you were acting or not. And then we had that dumb fight, and I knew you weren’t acting. I knew that maybe we did have something after all. I was pretty sold. I don’t know why I decided to listen to Tom. I was going to tell him off. I didn’t even let him talk me into seeing him again. He has been calling me nonstop all week, and I haven’t answered him once. That is so unlike me. When he and I were together I would wait on him hand and foot, and now I see him groveling and begging for me to come back. The only difference is that now that I have seen him, I don’t feel that way anymore. He wants me, but I don’t want him.”

I was starting to get frustrated. I had heard enough about Tom in the past two weeks for me to write a novel on how big of an asshole he was. It made me think back to that morning. I checked all around the room for her. I looked out on the balcony, even, and she wasn’t there. When she didn’t come back with breakfast I started to worry. I went down. I was betrayed. She hadn’t done anything wrong, but she didn’t do anything right either. “Well, what exactly do you want, April? It seems like you and Tom are both confused by each other and you’re taking down other people in the process. If you know you don’t want him so bad then tell me, what is it that you do want?”

I sat on the edge of the couch, staring at her. My breathing had come erratic and I wanted to disappear. I didn’t want her to come visit me. I didn’t want to see her. I didn’t want her to know how much she effected me, how much she hurt me. She looked back to me. I saw the sadness in her eyes. I had no idea I meant anything to her.

I could feel her starting to lose her patience. I asked again. “Tell me, what do you want?” This time I said it softer. I crossed my fingers and prayed for the best. My wish came true.

“You.”