Chapter 29
Vivian
I’m pretty sure it was the bacon that woke me up.
The gorgeous, greasy, mouth-watering smell of bacon wrapped in a subtle hint of maple. The soft sizzling sound that carries the promise of salty, fatty, breakfast bliss.
A smile crawls slowly across my lips as I inhale deeply and pull the covers back. I swing my legs over the side of Clinton’s sofa-bed and slowly rise up off of the mattress. Except when I sit up, it isn’t my muscular, tattooed lover I see standing by the stove.
It’s Lisa.
Yelping, I pull the blankets up over my breasts. She looks at me with her shoulders hunched all the way up to her ears. “Oh, did I wake you? I’m so sorry,” she whispers. Because whispering makes it all better after you’ve already woken someone up. “You were out like a light. I thought I could make some breakfast for the kids real fast and you’d never notice.”
I really don’t mean to be rude but this is just messed up, waking up to find my boyfriend’s landlord barefoot in his kitchen, helping herself to breakfast while I’m fully naked and smelling like sex. That’s just—no!
“Where’s Clinton?” I croak out, pushing dark tufts of messy hair from my face.
“Not too sure. Heard him jump on his bike a few minutes ago and I figured I’d come in here and use his stove while he was out. I wasn’t expecting to find you in here but you were sleeping so…”
I probably shouldn’t yell at her but she seems to have no sense that this—barging into someone’s apartment when they’re not around—might be improper.
“You can’t just come into a person’s place and start cooking whenever you feel like. It’s a complete invasion of privacy. What kind of landlord does that?” My gaze roams over her features and I think hard. I’m know her from somewhere. I’m sure of it.
She cocks a hip and chuffs incredulously. “Landlord? Clinton told you I’m his landlord?”
I blink a few times. “Yes, that’s what he told me…”
“So, I’m guessing he didn’t tell you who my children are to him?”
My lips tremble but I don’t have an answer for her.
Shaking her head, she turns back to the stove and flips the bacon angrily. “He is the most secretive motherfucker I’ve ever met,” she mutters in irritation under her breath. “If he’s embarrassed by me and these kids, he doesn’t need to be here. I don’t need him here.”
What the hell is she talking about?
A trillion questions are swirling in my head. But before I can commence my thorough cross-examination, the door opens and Clinton strides in with a carton of eggs in his hand. The smile slowly slides from his face when he sees Lisa standing at the stove.
“What are you doing here?” he snaps.
“I’m just getting some food for me and the kids.” She snatches the pan off of the stove, bacon sizzle and all. “Don’t worry. It won’t happen again. Now that I know I’m just your landlord. Nothing more.” She stomps out, slamming the door behind her. Bye bye, bacon…
Clinton’s attention turns to me as he sets the eggs on the counter. I’m already getting dressed.
“Are you okay?” he asks me.
I fasten the clasp of my bra and yank my shirt over my head. “What the hell is going on between you and that woman?”
He looks flustered which is totally out of character for him. “Nothing. Nothing’s going on between me and Lisa.”
I plant my hands on my hips. “So you’re telling me that she’s just your landlord? You’re sticking with that story?”
He takes a step closer. I match it with a step back. He pauses, jaw clenching, chest heaving in frustration. “Vivian…”
“I won’t have you lying to me, Clinton. I’ve asked you about her before and I let you give me the runaround but I won’t accept that anymore…” My eyes tingle with tears as I struggle with whether or not to add the next part. “…because I’m in love with you.”
His whole expression softens when I say the words. I’ve already laid myself bare to him physically, allowing him to have my body without protection. That may have been a stupid move but now, I’ve got to protect my heart. It’s the very least I can do.
He reaches to cup my cheek in his hand but I move out of his grasp. “Please…” His eyes beg me for understanding.
“You can say it’s none of my business. You can totally choose not to answer. But if you care about me at all, tell me the truth. What the hell is going on between the two of you?”
He sighs and rakes a tense hand through his hair. “I don’t want to talk about this. I can’t talk about this.”
“Fine.” I don’t waste one more second. I grab my coat and yank the sleeves up my arms. I am so done with this shady situation.
“Don’t go.” His words are pleading but his voice is a firm command.
I ignore him. Now, I’m roping my scarf around my neck.
“Vivian. Don’t you leave! Don’t!”
I slide my feet into my flat leather loafers and reach for the doorknob. I feel him come up behind me. His presence weighs down on my body. He grabs my arm and gently snatches my fingers off the handle. I’m trapped between the door and his hard chest.
I feel his restrained strength in each shaky breath that rattles his ribcage. All I want is to turn around and brush my lips across his skin, to drop to my knees and take his shaft in my mouth. All I want is for things between us to be good. But he’s keeping a secret and I’m not willing to be his fool just so I can have his arms around me as I fall asleep at night.
He drops his forehead to the door, his stomach pressed against my back. “I’m taking care of them. Okay?”
I struggle to turn around. “What do you mean, you’re taking care of them?” Pushing him back softly, I look up into his eyes, trying to read his expression.
He shrugs roughly, becoming more upset. “I don’t know. I pay the bills. I buy the food. That sort of thing.”
My eyes squint in confusion. “Why would you do that?” My stomach twists into a tight knot. “Wait—are those your kids? Are you the father of Lisa’s babies?”
“No. God, no.”
“So, you’re having sex with her? That’s why you’re paying her way?”
“No, never! I’ve never had sex with her. You don’t honestly think I’m sleeping with Lisa. You know that I’m crazy about you. There is no other woman who could get me to look their way. I’m all about you Vivian.”
“I don’t know what to think. I mean—is she family?”
“Vivian, stop!”
I won’t. I need answers. “If they’re struggling, there are resources in the community to help them. There are places where Lisa could apply for work. They’re always hiring at the factory just off the highway. And there’s a farm in Reyfield that’s always looking for helpers. And if for whatever reason she can’t work, there’s a food bank at Pastor Becker’s chur—” My words cut off. That’s when I remember exactly who Lisa is.
I met her a few years ago when I was volunteering at the women’s shelter. She’d come after a stint in rehab to deal with a drug habit. She gave birth to a little girl. The sweetest baby. Lisa was having a hard time finding her footing so the Beckers allowed her to stay. They were convinced that she’d get herself together with a little more time and care. But then, she fell pregnant again and Pastor Becker was so disappointed in her. He started making arrangements to have her transferred to a facility that was more appropriate for women who were struggling with their addiction issues. That’s when she disappeared. I remember Blythe being devastated when it happened. She was inconsolable for days. But apparently things worked out relatively well for Lisa. Well enough that she has a home for her kids now.
“Fucking stop it, Vivian!” Clinton explodes. “Why are you doing this? Why are you asking all these damn questions? And making all these suggestions? And complicating things?”
Is this guy serious right now? “Because you showed up out of nowhere and you stormed into my life and now I’m starting to need you. I’m also starting to realize that I don’t know a thing about you.”
“You do know me. I’ve told you more about myself than I’ve shared with anybody in a long time. I haven’t had anyone to share myself with until you stormed into my life.” He cups my face and this time I let him because fighting him is too hard and his touch has a wicked power over my body and mind. “Vivian, you have no idea how I feel about you. There’s no one else in my bed or in my heart. Only you.”
For so long, I’ve ached to hear those words fall from a man’s mouth. I’ve longed to hear a man say those magical things to me. My resolve is melting. I’m weak. I know it.
“Don’t leave me just because there’s a part of my life that you don’t understand. Please…”
“Make me understand, Clinton. Tell me the truth. Why are you taking care of Lisa and her children?”
“Because they need me…” is the answer he gives before ducking down and taking my mouth with his. Now, his thumb is rubbing circles into the small of my back, igniting a fire under my skin. I feel myself slipping under his spell as my rage dissipates.
“You’re not playing fair,” I whisper, my heart clenching. I summon all of my strength and push him away. “You can’t sex your way out of this, you jerk.” Moving fast, I spin around and yank the door open before he can stop me. “When you’re ready to tell me what’s going on, you know where to find me.”