“Good morning, sunshine!” Lailah teased, a bemused smile upon her lips, as she danced around the kitchen at the ungodly hour of five in the morning.
“Why are you so chipper? Aren’t new parents supposed to be tired and grumpy all the time?” I asked, shuffling toward the coffee pot in a daze. It wasn’t that I was unused to getting up at this hour on a routine basis, but it was usually three hours later.
At my regular time.
Eastern time.
Not at five in the morning, Pacific time, after I’d stayed up until midnight listening to my younger brother ramble on about destiny, fate, and love.
And a bunch of other bullshit.
“If you paid attention or actually came to visit every once in a while, you would notice that Jude and I aren’t exactly new parents anymore. Meara is nearly a year old. She eats solid food. She’s walking. We’re solid pros at this gig by now.”
I’d finished pouring a fresh cup of coffee, and I could already feel the stiff black liquid warming up my veins. As a man who pretty much lived on caffeine, I was proud of myself for having heard half of what she’d just said, considering my buzz still required a few more cups until it was safely in place.
“Pros, huh? Well, Mrs. Professional, if you’re so good at this gig, where’s the little one now? She’s usually attached to you, in one way or another.” I gestured to her and the baby she was currently not sporting on her body.
Instead, she wore a frilly apron and held a worn spatula in her left hand. There was a stack of piping hot pancakes next to the stove, and the smell of bacon in the air was making my stomach growl with desire.
“She’s outside,” Lailah answered, pointing to the large deck just beyond the kitchen.
The sun was beginning to rise, casting a halo of light over the murky blue water.
I caught the faint smirk of my sister-in-law as I wandered toward the slider, and then I instantly froze. Outside, Cara was slowly bouncing my niece in her arms, looks of pure contentment upon both their faces. A small giggle broke the silence as Meara laughed, causing Cara to smile from ear to ear.
Jesus.
“They’ve been out there for thirty minutes or so,” Lailah whispered, standing next to me.
I hadn’t even noticed that she’d moved. I’d been completely rendered immobile by the scene playing out in front of me.
“I bet, if you went out there, Cara would teach you how to hold her,” Lailah said with an impish grin before meandering back to the kitchen.
I knew she was goading me, egging me on, like I was some insolent child who didn’t know any better.
But I went anyway.
Sliding the door back, I caught Cara’s attention almost immediately.
“Good morning,” she greeted me, settling her gaze back down on her tiny charge.
Normally, I’d feel dismissed by the sudden loss of eye contact, but seeing her attentiveness to my niece did something to me.
I felt like that damn Grinch who stole all the Christmas presents but then ended up growing a heart in the end—the sudden rush of emotions overwhelmed me.
Desire, longing, and something innately primal.
A need to make her mine.
“Did you sleep well?” I asked.
Clearing my throat, I lifted a shaky hand toward my niece’s tender head. I’d never actually touched her. The uninvolved, careless bachelor in me said it was against the rules. Men like me didn’t touch things as precious as her.
As precious as both of them
My hand fell back to my side.
I didn’t deserve any of this.
“Yes.” She smiled weakly. “As well as could be expected with jet lag.”
“Mmm,” I agreed, looking out toward the waves in hopes of gaining some clarity.
There were a few stragglers on the beach. Runners, walkers… some just strolling down the shoreline, staring into the endless ocean.
For answers? Peace? Serenity?
It made me wonder how many of us had peered at these same waves year after year, wishing for all the holes in our lives to be filled. How many hopeless dreams had been wasted on these swirling tides?
“Do you want to take her? I need to go get ready,” Cara announced, holding Meara’s fragile body out toward mine.
The little child glanced up at me with raw curiosity, her bright green eyes assessing me with a peculiar sense of awareness.
“No.” I held my hands out, stepping back toward the open door.
I turned and fled.
Fled the beautiful child who hadn’t been sullied by the harsh realities of the world, all the pain and suffering, like I had.
And I fled the woman who could make it all go away.
“Nice shoes.”
Cara was sitting behind her desk, dressed in the heather-gray sweater dress she seemed to love more than life. Her scuffed chunky heels were back as well as the tight ponytail that made her look years younger than she already was.
“Nice dress,” I answered back, surprised to see she’d beaten me to the office.
I was usually the first to arrive on Mondays, the most hated day of the week. While most people were sluggish and tired from their weekend spent with family and time in front of the TV, I found myself recharged, hopped up on caffeine, sex, and sleep.
And most of that was still true today.
Minus the sex.
I’d been an absolute nightmare for the remainder of our trip to California, feeling like a lunatic, as I tried to sort out my feelings for Cara. I was like an out-of-control pendulum, agonizing over my desire for her one minute and pushing her away the next.
After an entire day of meetings with Jude and our West Coast division, I’d decided it would be in my best interest to stay focused and just keep my eye on the prize. I’d busted my ass for this company, and in less than two months, our entire board would be arriving. This wasn’t the time to become overly besotted with my assistant.
But then the pendulum had swung again.
This time, it wasn’t a baby or sweeping emotions that had pushed me over the edge.
It was just her.
We’d said our good nights and good-byes, knowing that Cara and I would be catching an early flight out the next morning. With Jude and Lailah’s crazy baby schedule, I hadn’t wanted to wake them when we left, so I thought it would be better if we hired a driver and let everyone sleep.
As I meandered through the house, collecting phone chargers and random items that still needed to be packed, I found myself face-to-face with Cara.
Wearing very little clothing.
“Oh!” she nearly squeaked.
A look of surprise painted her red cheeks as my eyes moved up and down her body. She must have thought she could sneak to the bathroom, unnoticed, because she was in only a T-shirt and panties.
And damn if I hadn’t caught her.
“I was just running to the bathroom to grab my toothbrush,” she explained, awkwardly trying to pull the hem of her T-shirt down. It barely grazed the top seam of her panties, exposing a bit of tender flesh around her abdomen.
God, how I wanted to lick her. Right there.
Everywhere.
I took a bold step forward without even thinking. A slight gasp escaped her mouth as she looked up at me, her warm breath against my neck.
“Then, I guess you’d better do it,” I whispered.
Time stopped.
For the second time in my life, it stopped. And I never wanted it to start again.
I felt her lean in as her breath faltered. Her eyes fluttered closed for the briefest moment.
And then reality stepped back in.
She stepped back, her eyes wide open, filled with emotion. “I can’t.”
The next morning, as we’d both groggily gone through the motions of flying back home, the incident was never spoken about. Cara had gone about the day as if it’d never happened, and after a while, I’d found myself wondering if I’d dreamed it.
But, every so often, I would catch her looking at me… as we’d fixed our morning coffee or when she’d thought I was sleeping beside her on the plane.
And now we’d returned to the normalcy of the office. She might have started the morning off with a joke, trying to maintain the status quo we’d once had, but deep down, she knew.
We were anything but normal.
Days had turned into weeks, and nothing had happened.
The glow of our trip slowly faded… and nothing happened.
Our flirty banter continued but still…
Nothing fucking happened.
I wasn’t a man used to waiting. I got what I wanted, and when I didn’t, I simply just took it.
She wanted me. She wanted us. I could see it in her eyes when she thought I wasn’t looking. I could feel it in the air, pulsating around us, as she’d delicately maneuver around me, plainly trying to avoid my touch.
She felt it just as much as I did, and that only furthered my desperation.
The only question was, Why is she denying it?
Anyone with half a brain could see that she wasn’t happy with Tyler. I knew I was a biased bystander with much to gain from their inevitable breakup, but it still brought nothing but pain to see her traipse into work each day with the color and life draining out of her.
What was she holding on to?
“You look rough today,” I finally commented, looking up from my morning coffee. I watched her drag herself from the elevator before plopping onto the chair.
“Thanks,” she answered halfheartedly, her eyes barely leaving the top of her desk. “You’re pretty ravishing yourself.” She huffed before meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry. That was rude.”
“Bad morning?” I guessed, gesturing to the cup of coffee I’d made her before she’d arrived.
She stared at it with a bemused expression before returning her attention to me.
“Bad morning, bad evening. Just bad altogether.”
“Ouch.” I didn’t know what else to say. I wasn’t exactly the warm and fuzzy type. I didn’t have a go-to speech for empowering others, and I definitely wasn’t known for motivational talks.
But I also didn’t want to be a jackass—at least, not to her.
Never to her.
So, I stood there, in front of her desk, like a fucking statue, waiting for her to say something.
Anything.
Jesus, I was turning into a pussy.
“He went to a strip club,” she finally said.
I barely made out the words as they left her lips. She stared at the cup in her hands as the steam rose, and I could see her reliving it. Like a victim of a senseless crime, she sat there and recalled every terrible moment, and while it happened right in front of me, I was powerless to stop it.
And it was all because of him.
“What happened?” I asked, instantly moving toward her.
Grabbing one of the extra chairs near her desk, I pulled it close and settled in next to her. There were no tears, but her eyes were still swollen from those she’d shed hours earlier.
“He says that nothing happened, but how would I know?” she pleaded, her voice heavy with emotion. “This isn’t us, Roman. This isn’t how we’re supposed to be. We’re supposed to build a life together here, not continue two separate ones simultaneously. How do I trust a man I don’t even know anymore?”
“I don’t know. I honestly don’t. But I’d be happy to kick his ass for you,” I said, hoping to lift her spirits because mine definitely were. This was exactly what I’d been hoping for. Not that I enjoyed seeing her hurt. I’d gladly make good on my words and track that bastard down this second, if it meant making her happy again.
“No, that’s not necessary. It’s something we need to work out on our own. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have dumped this on you. You’ve got enough to deal with,” she said, suddenly shifting into gear. She turned away from me, gathering loose papers from her desk, and she frantically tried to organize the lack of a mess in front of her.
I sat there, dumbfounded by her words. “You’re not leaving him?”
She briefly glanced at me, placing a paper clip on a report I’d given her the day before. “No. Why?”
“Why?” I muttered under my breath, setting down my coffee. “Why? Because the guy is a douche bag who doesn’t deserve you. Why? Because he treats you like you’re nothing more than typical when you’re anything but. Why?” I repeated, feeling my fists tighten at my sides.
“Sorry,” I said, backing down.
Without realizing it, I’d jumped up and began pacing around the small space in front of her desk, like a caged lion, as I’d loudly listed off the many reasons my assistant should leave her boyfriend.
It was completely unprofessional.
And worthless because she’d obviously made up her mind already.
“You’re right. This isn’t something I need to be dealing with right now. Excuse me,” I said, retreating quickly. I slammed the door shut behind me, letting out my first full breath in minutes.
What was this woman doing to me?
And how did I make it stop?
“There’s always a way, Roman, if you want there to be.”
My brother’s words echoed in my head as I worked.
I’d given up on actual work long ago. What I was doing could only be categorized as crazy.
But that was what Cara made me feel like.
Fucking crazy.
Life had been easy before her.
Lonely. Lifeless maybe, but easy.
I’d gone to work, put the hours in, seen results, and when I could, I’d reaped the rewards. When things had gotten rough, the rewards were few and far between, but that wasn’t a big shocker. I ran a Fortune 500 company. People like me just weren’t made for anything else.
It was what I had been raised to do after all.
My legacy.
But she made me want more.
More nights of bowling and talking over cheap salads. I wanted to spend time with her outside of this godforsaken office—without the excuse of work or job duties.
I just wanted her.
All to myself.
And, somehow, I was going to make it happen.
I’d been thinking about it for days.
It was dirty and wrong, and if she ever found out about my involvement…
But I needed to know what it felt like.
I needed my chance.
Otherwise, this obsession would eat me alive.
I was done waiting.
It was time to take.
I waited until the following week when our paths would naturally cross. Seeking Lauren out, as cunning as she was, would only put the leggy blonde on high alert that much faster.
I needed this to be casual, calm, and anything but deliberate.
Luckily, we had an upcoming acquisition, and with that came meetings. I usually loathed meetings. They were long, boring, and involved far too much talking for my taste.
But today I was actually looking forward to one because of the possibility it held.
One step closer…
I slipped into the conference room a few minutes early, something I wasn’t known for. I pulled out my laptop and pretended to be working. A complacent boss tended to cause turmoil among employees. Why isn’t he working? Doesn’t he have anything to do? Oh God… are we shutting down?
That was how rumors started.
It was also why I kept the janitorial and coffee budgets well funded. Nothing like a break in the java supply to cause mass panic regarding job retention.
“You’re here early.”
Just the voice I’d wanted to hear.
Looking up from my laptop, I took a moment to take her all in. She was still as striking as the day I’d first noticed her. Same gorgeous looks with a rack men would weep over.
My body had taken note of her before, but today… nothing.
I only needed her for one thing, and it didn’t involve my dick.
“Lauren,” I replied with authority, ignoring her earlier comment. “I actually have a question, and you might know the answer.”
“Sure,” she answered, her voice obviously shaken by my abrupt tone.
Besides our back-and-forth banter that night in the lobby, I didn’t think we’d exchanged more than a few words to each other.
But I could say that for the majority of people who worked in this building.
I was, after all, the evil overlord.
“My assistant, Cara, mentioned to me the other day that her boyfriend works for a prominent accounting firm here in New York. I want to know the name.”
“Of her boyfriend?”
I stared blankly.
“Sorry, I’m just a little confused as to why you would ask me,” she said, her voice recovering its normal confidence.
“I’ve heard the two of you talking outside my door. I don’t work in an iron vault, unfortunately.”
“No, of course not. Um, she doesn’t really talk about him much, but I believe the company is called Blythe.”
“Great.”
“Can I ask why you want to know? Another acquisition? Need an accountant?” She laughed at her own joke.
I settled my steely gaze upon her.
“Right. Never mind.”
I had the name. Now, all I had to do was the dirty work.
Lucky for me, I excelled in all things dirty.